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Ernie's House of Whoopass! March 16, 2015
March 16, 2015

Dear Hummingbird, Break Out The Fine China, Chill The Lemonade, Tie A Yellow Ribbon 'Round The Old Oak Tree...

Norman Keith Collins was a prominent American tattoo artist, famous for his tattooing of sailors; he was also known as "Sailor Jerry". At age 19, Collins enlisted in the United States Navy. During his subsequent travels at sea, he was exposed to the art and imagery of Southeast Asia. Collins expanded the array of colors available by developing his own safe pigments. He created needle formations that embedded pigment with much less trauma to the skin, and he was one of the first to utilize single-use needles and to use an autoclave for sterilization. Even during his career as a tattoo artist, he worked as a licensed skipper of a large three-masted schooner, on which he conducted tours of the Hawaiian islands. Sailor Jerry Ltd. produces a 92 proof spiced Navy rum featuring a quintessential Sailor Jerry hula girl on the label. As the bottle is emptied, additional Pin-up girls designed by Sailor Jerry are visible on the inner side of the label.

A rave whistle is an extra-shrill whistle for blowing at raves for no good purpose except annoying the people around you on the dance floor. This item is a play on the "rape whistle", a type of personal alarm intended to deter crime by drawing attention to the situation and calling for help, but in reality being largely ineffective and causing little more than annoyance. When you hear a rave whistle, you know the party is poppin.

St. Patrick's Day Sale! Celebrate St Patrick's Day with Radical Firearms 10.5” mil spec AR pistol with 10” RF FGS round billet rail for only $524.95 -- available in 300 BLK, 5.56, and 7.62x39.

I'm pretty sure I found the Red Rock Canyon marker you were looking for, right here on Highway 159. Wally.

While certainly markers for the same place, I don't think they're the same markers. For starters the one you found has a very distinct white/red division running through the R in Rock. Next the top left of yours follows and includes most of the triangle; in my photo, the triangle protrudes outward from the receding rock. Finally, if you pan across the roadfrom your marker, you're looking at an embankment, not the rolling expanse of scrubbrush with mountains in the distance. So I don't believe that's the right marker. Sorry, true story bro.

I found the sign on highway 159 (blue diamond road) The jackass crossing sign is gone from this side of the road. Rick

I'll admit, that was a tough one. It took a set of brass balls just to even try. So now I'm hoping one of you can you tell me what resort I should be heading to in order to fulfill my dream of having some more jello shots with these young ladies? And if the biggest clue isn't that obvious to you, I've highlighted it at the bottom of this post.

We see the President talk about "Common Sense" stuff all the time, so why not a common sense look at reloading ammunition?

Weight gain is common as men grow older. As fat accumulates on the lower abdomen, the apparent size of the penis changes. Don't worry, your penis doesn't actually shrink when you get fat, but it does look like it. Ira Sharlip, MD, clinical professor of urology at the University of California, San Francisco, says, "A large prepubic fat pad makes the penile shaft look shorter." "In some cases, abdominal fat all but buries the penis," says Ronald Tamler, MD, PhD, co-director of the Men's Health Program at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. Take a sigh of relief because the reverse is also true: As men lost the weight, their penises returned to their rightful size. "One way I motivate my overweight patients is by telling them that they can appear to gain up to an inch in size simply by losing weight."

As promised, here's a close up of the beer coozie that should pointe you in the right direction.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite So My Dad Is Visiting Fo...

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Yeah I Gotchu Fam Weeken...

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