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Wow, That Guy Is A Complete Dickhead.

Here's a pretty good challenge for you. I need someone to identify this lighthouse and show me where it is. Given the staggered arrangements of the windows leading up the entire height, my first guess was the Cape Wickham Lighthouse. But that turned out to be a no go because there's no wide rim of bricks around the bottom of the Wickham, its sides are smooth all the way to the bottom, where as the one in my photo is not.

Insert Your Favorite Birthday Joke Here.

I Wonder If Foreskin Provides As Much Protection As Silicone?

To anyone who wasn't able to fly their own personal jet to Las Vegas for he fight, the Mayweather-Pacquiao pay-per-view was a hundred bucks. So it's totally understandable that people didn't want to spend that kind of money on a fight that no expert believed would live up to the hype. That said, there were other ways to watch the fight without spending $100 all by yourself. Understand that over the 12 rounds, Mayweather earned $4,994,681 per minute, with Pacquiao earning a paltry $3,329,787 per minute, earning eash a $180,000,000 and $120,000,000 payouts, respectively. Perhaps now you can understand why some call Mayweather not only the greatest pound-for-pound boxer of this generation, but the greatest businessman, as well. So the true winner in this underwhelming battle? Floyd Mayweather's car salesman.

It Is Impossible To Not Read That In Bob Uecker's Voice.

Cinco de Mayo -- Spanish for "fifth of May" -- is celebrated in the United States and in Mexico, primarily in the state of Puebla,where the holiday is called El Día de la Batalla de Puebla. Mexican Americans also often see the day as a source of pride; one way they can honor their ethnicity is to celebrate this day. The date is observed to commemorate the Mexican army's unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín. In the United States, Cinco de Mayo is sometimes mistaken to be Mexico's Independence Day -- the most important national holiday in Mexico -- which is celebrated on September 16.

Meanwhile In Baltimore.

Okay, here's a genuine photo challenge that I can't fucking solve. Seriously, I've been sitting on these two photos for the last week -- flame parade -- and the same woman at a different location -- spending a little time here and there but still no dice. Here's a close up of what I believe to be relevent clues. Good fucking luck.

This Is The First Time I've Ever Heard A Prosecutor Argue A Knife Was Legal.

By now I'm sure you're all well aware of the Freddie Gray fiasco that went down in Baltimore. That is, unless you've been living under a fucking rock. Well two of the officers -- the two guys who initially made the arrest upon the instructions of a lieutenant -- are arguing to have their false imprisonment charges thrown out based upon the legality/illegality of Gray's knife. The Cliff Notes version is this: it would be illegal for anyone in Baltimore to posess a switchblade. Switchblades, like gravity knives, so not need any energy from the user to open; 100% of the potential energy is pent up in a spring (or gravity) and the user merely releases that energy. That is different from the spring assisted knife that Gray was carrying -- and coincidently, the same style I carry, difference being I have a permit for mine -- in a spring assisted knife, the user physically starts the opening process, and the spring merely completes the operation... kind of a 10%/90% division of labor. If the knife is legal, the arrest was false. On the flip side, if the knife is illegal, then the arrest was good. It'll be interesting to see how this one pans out.

Sorry Folks, Hollywood Is Closed. The Moose Out Front Should Have Told Ya.

In celebration of the 70th anniversary of Victory in Europe Day, you can watch the live feed of the Department of Defense's Arsenal of Democracy flyover parade.

Insert Your Favorite Mother's Day Weekend Joke Here.

"To Know, Is To Know That You Know Nothing. That Is The Meaning Of True Knowledge." - Socrates.

At first I was going to have you show me where the Classic Gothic Restauarante is, but you can't do that since these losers on Segways won't get the fuck out of the way. At first I just thought I was having a bad day, but then I found another photo to use ... So instead of that gothic, I want you to find this gothic.

Four Games Isn't Enough. Suspend Him For The Entire Season.

I'll preface this by openly declaring what many of you already know, and that is to say I hate Tom Brady. Yes as a die hard Raiders fan, I have hated Brady ever since that tuck-rule fiasco in 2002. I have hated him since, I hate him now more than ever, and I will hate him tomorrow more than I did today. So with that out of the way, here are my thoughts on Deflategate.

Ashes To Ashes, Dust To Dust. If it Weren't For Women, Men's Ding Dongs Would Rust.

Well, Big Red turned 20 years old this past December, and I have to admit the years have taken their toll. Or to be more precise, the initial 10 years up in New England salty roads have taken their toll. It was my winter vehicle while the TT stayed safely tucked inside, safe from the elements. I've already had some frame rot repaired, the lower half of the body has been fiberglassed and has since re-rotted away. The paint is faded and peeling on the roof, and the paint everywhere else has oxidized to a dull maroonish-purple hue. Part of the bed has rusted away to where the only thing solid is the spray in Line-X bedliner. The cruise control and air conditioning no longer work. The drivers side door lock switch only locks, and the passenger side switch only unlocks. The radio overheats and cuts out if you play it too loud, and it also cuts out if you put the left blinker on. Seriously, just the left, the right blinker is fine. The display for the compass/outside thermometer has long since stopped working. The power seat doesn't work. There are rust bubbles in virtually every body panel. The spare wheel hasn't held air in I don't know how long. The radiator has swelled upwards of two inches and looks like it should have started leaking two years ago. The four-wheel-ABS no longer works. The dashboard has cracked into oblivion. The entire underside is one huge sheet of rust, so much so that if I shut the door/hood hard, rust falls onto the driveway. And despite all this, it starts and runs like a fucking bear. I fear one day I will go out into the driveway to find an idling engine, transmission, four tires, and a huge fucking pile of rust.

Well There's a Fucking Hassle I Don't Want or Need.

Well, evidently this is doohickey called an electric trailer brake controller, used when towing a heavy ass trailer such as a camper or horse trailer. Keep in mind, during Big Red's entire 20 year career it has towed: a small boat maybe 2-3 times, a jet-ski maybe 4-5 times, and a small landscaping trailer carrying my quad maybe a dozen times. So while this truck only has 121,000 miles on it, those were some pretty tough miles that it spent pulling its guts out on the highway. So yeah, I think I'll keep looking. Thanks for the clarification, peoples!

The Only Letters I Need To Learn are U, S, and A.

Okay, here's one you'll enjoy, especially if you are a World War II history buff. Taking into account the pointed front, the turret that overhangs the sides of the hull, and the fuel tanks on back, any fool can tell me this Russian war memorial features a Soviet IS-3 super heavy tank. The challenge is you have to show me where it is. I've found #422, but that's some piece of shit Renault FT, and an image search soviet is-3 tank memorial, I get a bunch of close-but-no-cigar images; notice the green wreath and white stepped platform in the original photo. So good luck with that.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Finally, A Life Hack We Can Actually Use.

Whether you're moving into a dorm room or need a place to store beverages in your basement, a mini refrigerator will help make your space more comfortable. Small refrigerators are the perfect place to store beverages and snacks in rooms where you often hang out. When you send your kids off to college, dorm refrigerators will keep that leftover pizza cold and ready for the next morning.

Ahh, The Early Twentieth Century Was A Magical Time, Was It Not?

Standard Oil controversial history as one of the world's first and largest multinational corporations ended in 1911, when the United States Supreme Court ruled that Standard was an illegal monopoly, and must be dissolved under the Sherman Antitrust Act and split into 34 different companies. Two of these companies were Jersey Standard, which eventually became Exxon; and Socony, which eventually became Mobil. Other Standard Oil breakup companies include "Standard Oil of Ohio" which became SOHIO, "Standard Oil of Indiana" which became Amoco after other mergers and a name change in the 1980s, and "Standard Oil of California" which became the Chevron Corp.

Some Motherfuckers Just Can't Accept An Apology.

When I come across a photo that I can use on EHOWA, it usually falls under one of two categories. First are the 'informationa' ones where I simply explain something to you. For example, I can tell you that once Agip fuel company that incorporated small Italian bakeries into some of their gas stations; those stations could be identified by the Ciao Agip signs out front. The second category is the photo challenge, where I ask you what baseball stadium is on that poster. But every once in awhile, I kind of stumble across the hybrid. I was going to explain to you what the fuck this curved handled thing is leaning against the window, but fuck all if I can figure out what it is. The top is too curved and the shaft too thin to be a canoe paddle, so if you can pick up your goddamn smartphone, help me out because I'm genuinely fucking stumped. What the fuck is it?

No Fucks Will Be Given Today, Tomorrow, Or Next Week.

Drag racers first recognized the traction benefit of slick tires, whose benefit they could readily verify by elapsed times for the standing-start quarter mile. In spite of compelling evidence of improved traction, more than twenty years passed before slicks were commonly used for racing cars, and another twenty before they reached racing motorcycles. Today, slicks are used in all weather on most street motorcycles.

6am Wake Up+ Flu Like Symptoms (Including Body Aches) + 4 Motrin = Grey Goose Screwdriver By 10am.

Airhead and Sportsstuff inflatables and accessories are made of the highest quality materials in the industry. We pride ourselves in building our products with 840 denier nylon covers and 30 gauge PVC bladders, a standard few others can stand behind. If there's a tube shape that can be ridden while towed behind a boat, we make it. If there's a water toy boating enthusiasts are craving, look no further than Sportsstuff!

This Is Memorial Day Weekend. And Yes, I Will Post A Small Update on Monday.

This Is Memorial Day. This Is Your Day To Remember Reflect, and Respect.

Commander Bill Krissoff was a successful surgeon with a thriving practice. But when his son was killed in action, Krissoff decided to honor his service and sacrifice.

I Guess That's The New Bouncing A Quarter Off Her Ass?

We're all trying to balance today's strains on personal time, family time, and work. For more than 30 years, Perception Kayaks have introduced more people to paddling than probably any other kayak maker. In fact, Perception pioneered the plastic kayak, which began an explosion in the sport beyond what we ever would have dreamed then. Almost anyone that paddles knows the Perception name and its storied history, as they move into the future with even more innovation and the reliable quality that everyone has come to expect. Now, more than ever, it's time for you to discover the concept that has kept Perception Kayaks popular all these years.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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