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Ernie's House of Whoopass! May 6, 2015
May 6, 2015

Meanwhile In Baltimore.

Okay, here's a genuine photo challenge that I can't fucking solve. Seriously, I've been sitting on these two photos for the last week -- flame parade -- and the same woman at a different location -- spending a little time here and there but still no dice. Here's a close up of what I believe to be relevent clues. Good fucking luck.

If you thought cringe-comedy died along with Curb Your Enthusiasm, you must not be a regular viewer of The Price Is Right. That's because a contestant on a recent episode, who just so happened to be in a wheelchair, was given a pretty uncomfortable prize: a fucking treadmill. The only thing that would have been worse would be if they had given her a fucking bike.

A cattle guard is a type of obstacle used to prevent livestock, such as sheep, cattle, pigs, horses, or mules from passing along a road or railway which penetrates the fencing surrounding an enclosed piece of land. It consists of a depression in the road covered by a transverse grid of bars or tubes, normally made of metal and firmly fixed to the ground on either side of the depression, such that the gaps between them are wide enough for animals' legs to fall through, but sufficiently narrow not to impede a wheeled vehicle or human foot. This provides an effective barrier to animals without impeding wheeled vehicles, as the animals are reluctant to walk on the grates.

If you're anything like this female Cubs fan from Sunday's game against the Milwaukee Brewers at Wrigley Field, you snap a cleavage selfie with your big tits.

Fabric softeners work by coating the surface of the cloth fibers with a thin layer of chemicals; these chemicals have lubricant properties and are electrically conductive, thus making the fibers feel smoother and preventing buildup of static electricity. Other functions are improvements of iron glide during ironing, increased resistance to stains, and reduction of wrinkling and pilling. Downy is a brand name of fabric softener produced by Procter & Gamble and sold in the United States. It entered the U.S. test market in August 1960 and went nationwide in December 1961. Downy is also sold in Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, Singapore, Thailand, Vietnam, Egypt and Latin America.

Hi Ernie, Got a pretty good infographic here about the best James Bond watches from over the years. Best Regards, David

What up pimp? Three things you left out of your post on solar power was the inherent danger of the entire system. 1) You can't turn off a solar panel. It's always producing some energy. Lockout/Tagout (LOTO) on a solar panel? Go piss up a rope. 2) The batteries, when charging, off-gas hydrogen. Hydrogen will burn. If the requisite ventilation fan fails, those Tesla batteries will continue to charge. Batteries will continue to off-gas hydrogen. Room fills with hydrogen. Hindenburg. 3) In the event of a police shooting, the rioters will see your solar panels, assume you are a rich ass 1%'er and you will die. Ryan

Crime Stoppers of Nevada, Inc. is a citizen, media and law enforcement co-operative program created to involve the public in the fight against crime and other social issues. We are a non-profit 501(c)3 organziation. We provide citizens with a vehicle to anonymously supply Law Enforcement with information about a felony crime or wanted person. Crime Stoppers offers cash rewards to eligible tipsters for information that leads to a felony arrest, felony arrest warrant or felony indictment. Tipsters do not need to wait for a conviction to be eligible for a reward. For information on becoming a community partner or donate, call 702-385-5555.

Here's something you don't see very often: buy one handgun and get a second one free. And they're both SigSauers, too, not some off brand piece of crap.

Styrofoam boxes are a staple in the food industry because of their versatility in the marketplace and impressive ability to keep food fresh and secure. Foam containers are able to help maintain food's freshness by locking in temperature and moisture. Similarly, Styrofoam containers are well-known for their durability that will keep your food intact until it reaches its final destination. Made with less energy than paper products, foam containers are a great option for your eco-conscious businesses and customers.

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