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Ernie's House of Whoopass! May 7, 2015
May 7, 2015

This Is The First Time I've Ever Heard A Prosecutor Argue A Knife Was Legal.

By now I'm sure you're all well aware of the Freddie Gray fiasco that went down in Baltimore. That is, unless you've been living under a fucking rock. Well two of the officers -- the two guys who initially made the arrest upon the instructions of a lieutenant -- are arguing to have their false imprisonment charges thrown out based upon the legality/illegality of Gray's knife. The Cliff Notes version is this: it would be illegal for anyone in Baltimore to posess a switchblade. Switchblades, like gravity knives, so not need any energy from the user to open; 100% of the potential energy is pent up in a spring (or gravity) and the user merely releases that energy. That is different from the spring assisted knife that Gray was carrying -- and coincidently, the same style I carry, difference being I have a permit for mine -- in a spring assisted knife, the user physically starts the opening process, and the spring merely completes the operation... kind of a 10%/90% division of labor. If the knife is legal, the arrest was false. On the flip side, if the knife is illegal, then the arrest was good. It'll be interesting to see how this one pans out.

A movie lover's vision of heaven-on-earth, Chris Consani's "Java Dreams" features a fantasy coffee bar where James Dean flirts with Marilyn Monroe, Elvis ogles, and Bogie plays it cool behind a newspaper. Consani, whose work has appeared in the Society of Illustrators, Library of Congress and other publications and exhibits, is known throughout the art world for his movie posters and album covers. Exuding inviting warmth, Java Dreams fulfills viewers' fantasies of hanging out with a gathering of extraordinary icons. And an added bonus to anyone who can tell me which movie Martin Scorsese directed. And yes, I got it.

If'n you people remember correctly, it was a hair over a year ago that I picked up this old (1979 vintage) Colt 70 Series 1911 chambered in the venerable .45 ACP. I scored the pistol, three 7-round magazines, a leather shoulder holster, and about 100 rounds of JHP for $600. Not bad, if I do say so myself. The only thing that's been bothering me about it are the magazines.... they're not genuine Colt mags. If they were, they'd read COLT .45 AUTO on the bottom and clearly you can see mine do not. Now, if you're looking to just go plinking, there is a much easier way to find magazines: 1911 magazines, AR-15 magazines -- AVOID the THERMOLD mags -- and AK-47 magazines. But if you're looking for something vintage, like I am, you've got to beat the bushes at Gunbroker. And be prepared to pay handsomely.

Here are 15 celebrities at Mayweather-Pacquiao fight that I wish were the ones getting punched in the face instead of Manny. Yes, Tom Brady, I'm looking at you.

Hi Ernie, I think I found the spot in Koln, Germany. The little sticker on the sign Mietsch…. was what led me there. Andrew

Hey Ernie, took me about 20 minutes, but have this one in the bag. The second picture lead me to Germany, and the domed building in the back reminded me of the main train stations in major cities. I first looked at Frankfurt and Berlin, looking for Rolex and Excelcior in each, but none matched up. I looked up CSD for Germany and it leads to Christoper Day Street, a LGBT parade hosted in many different cities. The clue that lead me to the city was the mietschild sticker on the back of the sign. When googling that term and hitting space, it autopopulted and BAM! for the first picture. The second picture doesn't really have any identifying items except for the cobblestone and trees, but if you've ever been to Germany, those are everywhere. Mark

Ok Ernie. I got your back on this one. From the relevant clues photo for the flame parade I saw the "welcome to CSD" which is the Christopher Street Day Parade only I couldn't find anything in Berlin. So I click on the wikipedia page which tells me they also have prominent parades in Hamburg and Cologne. I look up the address for the Hilton in Cologne and immediately see they are next to an Excelsior Hotel and I also see the big building in the background with the rib like structures. Lo and behold, they are here. Keep up the good work, etc. Matt

There were a few other people who got it, but those three were the first. Damn you guys, I'm impressed. And while the 2015 Atlantic Hurricans season doesn't officially start until June 1st, I always cling very closely to my old Boy Scout Motto, and so it's time to start cleaning out my pantry from all the dry good I stockpiked for the 2014 hurricane season. Canned goods are high on that list. Any chance one of you can tell me what I'm shopping for?

Sonia Rykiel née Flis is a French fashion designer. Ethnically a Polish-Romanian Jew, Sonia Rykiel was born in Neuilly, a commune in the western suburbs of Paris, France, the eldest of five daughters of a Polish mother and a Romanian father. In 1962, unable to find soft sweaters to wear during her pregnancy, she used one of her husband's suppliers from Venice to design her own sweaters. The Poor Boy Sweater made the cover of ELLE fashion magazine, and brought Rykiel fame; because of it, she was crowned "Queen of Knits" by the Americans in 1967. Since then, she has continued to experiment to expand her offerings. She later became the first designer to put seams on the outside of a garment, and to print words on her handbags and sweaters. Her color palette usually features beige, grey, dark blue, and charcoal.

ALL HAIL MEGATRON: 23 Insanely Creative Protest Signs

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