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Ernie's House of Whoopass! May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015

Four Games Isn't Enough. Suspend Him For The Entire Season.

I'll preface this by openly declaring what many of you already know, and that is to say I hate Tom Brady. Yes as a die hard Raiders fan, I have hated Brady ever since that tuck-rule fiasco in 2002. I have hated him since, I hate him now more than ever, and I will hate him tomorrow more than I did today. So with that out of the way, here are my thoughts on Deflategate.

Instead of asking yourself if he knew the balls were under inflated, ask yourself, how could he not? He's arguably one of the best quarterbacks of this generation. He has 15 years experience throwing these balls for a living. He probably touches a football upwards of a thousand times each and every day of practice. He plays under a three year $27 million dollar contract. Tom Brady is a professional athlete. A. Professional. Athlete. It is part of his job to know whether or not his equipment is functioning properly.

I believe that Michael Jordan could bounce a basketball one single time and tell you within a pretty narrow window whether or not it's inflated correctly. I believe that David Ortiz can pick up a baseball bat, swing it and just from the feel of it tell you whether or not it's longer that 42 inches. I believe that David Beckham can with one kick, tell you if a soccer ball is inflated right to where it needs to be. And Tiger Woods can tell you whether a golf ball is heavier than 1.6 ounces. And Tony Stewart can take one lap tell you if the tires are too hard or too soft. And Wayne Gretsky can tell you if a hockey puck is exactly 6 ounces. And Serena Williams can tell you if a tennis ball is fresh or worn out. Hell, even Lance Armstrong -- steroid jokes aside -- can squeeze his bicycle tire and know if it needs more air. Why? Because it's their job to know. Because they are all professional athletes.

Tom Brady is one of the 130 quarterbacks in the NFL right now, and he is paid many millions of dollars to perform that job better than anybody else in the league. So yes, he knew that football was not right the moment he picked it up and gave it a good firm grip. Maybe for a split second his mind was puzzled, but after a subtle nod and wry smile from the equipment handler, Brady was throwing for his first of many end zone passes.

Of course Tom Brady knew. He's paid $27 million dollars to know. The Pats cheated. They got caught. Now shut up and take your lumps.

Ernie, How timely it is for posting that fitness video. The military is concerned that most Americans are physically unfit to serve period. It is a strategic concern that if we ever had to mobilize like WWII we would be fucked. Chris

hi ernie. fyi i use the mecgar mags for my colt 45. they are high quality and i've never had any problems with them. i truly trust them as much as mt factory mag. i think i read somewhere that they make mags for some firearms companies to be used as their factory mag. but i wouldn't bet my next pay check on it. have a great weekend. lyn, bloomington, mn.

Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn, and boobies bubble. OMG WHAT HOTEL ARE THOSE WITCHES STAYING IN?

Since all the retro hipster craze at the moment is pretty much about the 80's, the 90's will have to wait just a little bit more until they get the cool status once again. Because if you take a look at some of these celebrities and how they looked 20 years ago, you'll realize that it's probably difficult in our days to look as ridiculous as Mark Wahlberg did.

I'm an agent of Men in Black, but I'm from the future. We're partners, twenty-five years from now you're going to recruit me. And 14 years after, the guy you DIDN'T let me kill at Coney Island he escapes from prison, and jumps back in the past and unleashes a full-scale invasion of Earth. We have about 19 hours to catch him and kill him, so really we need to go right now!

Hi Ernie. The lovely lady in today's Vegas photo challenge is standing on the Southeast corner of Las Vegas Blvd and Tropicana. In this street view you can see the corner and the metal fence on top of the cement barriers. Glad to be of service, Eric R.

Ernie, Pretty sure by seeing the traffic lights it's the SE corner of LV Blvd & Tropicana. In case you didn't know, most intersections on the Strip have overhead walkways and you literally can't cross in the street. God forbid some Tourist gets hit by a car and be prevented from spending any Money! Smart! Tom

Earlier this past weekend, Jessie Duff won the 2015 Single Stack Nationals. Which is weird because she's always looked double stacked to me.

Also, still no location on this Gotic, tho.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

So Long, Lieutenant George Herbert Walker Bus...

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