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Ernie's House of Whoopass! June 23, 2015
June 23, 2015

The World Would Be A Better Place If Selfies Caused Suicide.

The USS Franklin was one of 24 Essex-class aircraft carriers built during World War II for the United States Navy, and the fifth US Navy ship to bear the name. She was commissioned in January 1944, and served in several campaigns in the Pacific War, earning four battle stars. She was badly damaged by a Japanese air attack in March 1945, with the loss of over 800 of her crew, becoming the most heavily damaged United States carrier to survive the war. Movie footage of the actual attack was included in the 1949 film Task Force starring Gary Cooper. After the attack, she returned to the U.S. mainland for repairs, ultimately missing the rest of the war. The USS Franklin was sold for scrap in 1966.

A retroreflector is a device or surface that reflects light back to its source with a minimum of scattering. Retroreflectors produce no light of their own, but rather reflect incident light back towards its source, for example, another driver's headlight. Thus, vehicles are conspicuous even when their lights are off. Regulations worldwide require each vehicle to be equipped with rear-facing red retroreflectors. Since 1968 US regulations also require side-facing retroreflectors, amber in front and red in the rear. The law initially required lights OR retroreflectors on vehicles made after 1 January 1968; this was amended to require lights AND retroreflectors on vehicles made after 1 January 1970.

Using strong neodymium magnets to securely and effeciently store your handguns isn't a new concept; you can buy them or you can make them and they work quite well. What is lacking through, is a space effecient way to store your rifles -- I've yet to encounter a safe that can actually hold the number of guns, its manufacturer says it will hold. And rifles are much too heavy to collectively hang from magnets stuck to the top of your safe, not to mention you'd go fucking broke buying all the magnets. So to that end, a company called Gun Storage Solutions has come up a rather ingenius way to make the most out of the real estate in your gun safe. Based upon their video you're sliding a plastic rod down the barrel, and then in a non-weight bearing fashion extend the rod upwards to secure it to the top of the safe. Kind of like... well... attaching a stripper pole to your ceiling, you perverted bastard.

Your first mission for today needs no long introduction. Simply find these three yellow poles.

Hey Ernie, That small toothed chick was attending the 2010 Folsom Street Fair, she is in front of the First Kick Scooter store at 275 8th Street in San Francisco. Tim

I did find your Glory Hole sign. Thats the Glory Hole Center in the background where they have Glory Hole Sports, can't imagine what they might be. Rick

Old and busted: Florida woman rides manatee. Old but not quite so busted: tourist "attacked" by a manatee. Not to be outdone, our neighbors to the north offer the new hotness: Canadian riding a moose. Added bonus: Canadian conservation officers are looking to ask the rider a few questions.

Your second mission for today will require you to pay particular attention to how the light blue housing comes down towards the heating element in order to identify this lothing iron.

Domo is a Japanese character often pasted in to relevant or major scenes of disaster as the apparent cause for destruction. Domo's usage is very similar to the more contemporary Disaster Girl. He has grown to become a pop culture icon. Domo was introduced to English-speaking audiences when a photoshopped image of two Domo-kuns chasing kittens appeared on Fark November 28, 2002. It was captioned Every Time You Masturbate, God Kills A Kitten, which became a catchphrase on its own. According to his mythology, Domo was hatched from an egg and lives underground with a rabbit, Usajii. He loves watching television and is known for passing gas when he gets nervous. He also has a fear of apples, since his ancestors became extinct after eating them. He doesn't speak, he only communicates via low noises that sound like his name.


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