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Ernie's House of Whoopass! July 1, 2015
July 1, 2015

Brothers Don't Shake Hands. Brothers Gotta Hug.

You know, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm genuinely looking forward to I Am Chris Farley. And if you're not? Well fuck you, too.

Rainbows were seemingly everywhere last week: all over social media, the White House and even in the sky during the closing moments of the Grateful Dead‘s first 50th anniversary reunion show on June 27.

Zachary Ben Hample is an American sports writer and Major League baseball collector ball hawk best known for having collected more than 8,000 baseballs from major league ballparks in America. Hample is also the guy who caught A-Rod's 3,000th hit and since snagging the lucky ball he's been dogged by people threatening to beat the shit out of him for not returning the ball to the Yankees roider. But there is a payoff to all these death threats -- he's been hanging out with porn star Lisa Ann.

Here in the United States, most of our juices are packages in plastic jugs with built in handles; juice boxes, as we know them, are reserved for small personal servings. Which is why I'm betting dimes to donuts that no one will be able to identify what brand of drink this Russian girl has just opened up. Hell, I'll even give you a second glimpse of the box.

You've probably gotten a lot of replies already, but in case everyone else is napping, she's ready The DaVinci Code. Gregg

The Book She's Reading Is... The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. Glad to help. Marc, Ottawa, Canada

Look, I am not playing any games, Mister. Seriously, I'm not a big game player anymore, so I have no idea what game is playing on this portable television. Any idea?

EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM: This morning as I completed my morning ritual: coffee, crap, computer, and after checking my ammo alerts, stumbled across some deals on .22lr that had just been posted. Normally with an order like that, you get buttfucked on shipping charges, but Cabelas had a coupon for $5 shipping so I managed to scoop up 1,525 rounds for $107 shipped to my door. Not the world's most terrific price... somewhere in the neighborhood of $0.05/round woudl have been better than the $0.07 I paid, but accounting for supply and demand, that's not too shabby. In fact, the scarcity of .22 is one of the reasons why there is such a strong demand for 9mm right now.

Seriously lady, who the hell drinks Bud Lime. That shit is nasty.

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