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Ernie's House of Whoopass! July 22, 2015
July 22, 2015

Would You Rather Have Thsi Dentist Drill Your Teeth, Or Watch The Ghostbusters Remake?

The first Rainforest Cafe opened in the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota on February 3, 1994. Since then, each of the 32 worldwide locations is designed to depict some features of a tropical rainforest, including plant growth; mist; waterfalls; and figures of rainforest animals, including elephants, frogs, gorillas, jaguars, tigers, and tropical birds. So I will give you mad props if you can tell me where this gorilla is chilling out at. And yes, I got this one.

The first budget gun I purchased was my Kel-Tec PF9 which I first thought was well made, but that was only because it was my second firearm and I didn't know any better. As I began to get a little more experience and handle different makes, I realized the PF9 was made as cheaply as a tuxedo from CVS. I sold it to some poor unsuspecting schmuck and then a couple of years later, having stumbled across a price that was too good to pass up, decided to buy a second hoping the poor build quality of the first was a fluke. It was not, and I sold that piece of shit, too. Because of those negatives experiences, I was rather gun shy (hee hee) about this Taurus turning my shitty gun experience into a hat trick. This is not the case. The only, the only, bad thing I can say about it at this point is more of a small quirk. When putting the slide assembly back onto the frame, there is a tiny bit of play allowing the slide assembly to rock back and forth just a tiny bit. And I mean a tiny, tiny bit. But if it rocks one way -- tilting the top of the slide towards me when the gun is facing to my left, it feels like something -- perhaps the the ejector? (part 4.7 on this diagram) -- catch on the bottom of the slide somehow. Taking sideways pressure off the slide and allowing it to return to normal center allows the slide to move into place without any obstruction. Now this may just be the result of a brand new firearm before it breaks in, or it may just be a trick to reassembly. Either way it does not impact the performance at all, and since it's still the most popular firearm on Gunbroker, I would wholeheartedly recommend it to someone looking for an inexpensive subcompact pistol. Tooele Shooting -- which is where I bought mine -- still has the best price but they're sold out at the moment; so right now the best price for one that's in stock and ready to ship is $199 + $10 shipping. That's still a lot of bang (hee hee) for your buck.

According to their Urban Dictionary, cross country skiing is defined as, "When a girl gives two handjobs simultaneously, which consequently, makes her arms move in the way cross country skiers' arms move with their ski poles." So can you show me exactly where this girl decided to take up a little cross country skiing? See, only I can take a gay pride parade and make it palatable through ingenious packaging!

Hey Ernie... I can't say that I'm 100% sure on this, as there is not much to go on in the picture, but that appears to have been taken at what was once called the Bahia Mar located at South Padre Island. In the street view images it appears to be shuttered and under renovation. For proof I offer this website. You want to look at the 3rd picture from the left in the second row. It's obviously an old one and in it you can clearly see the same unpainted wood exterior on the buildings. Skinner

The deck is located on South Padre Island. The sign in the back is for verticalsmiles.com, looks like they painted the condos white. there is no street view but more pictures are here. Rick

When I first looked at this Las Vegas hotel photo, I thought the absence of any tall buildings coupled with the proximity of a highway and distinctly rectangular road would make finding these curtain an easy challenge. Turns out, I don't know my way around Las Vegas for shit, so I suspect this will be a challenge for the locals.

Remember Jen Selter, the fitness model with the incredible ass? In case you were wondering where she got that body from, I can tell you with complete confidence that she got it from her mama, Jill Selter.

The flag of Sweden is a Scandinavian cross, which represents Christianity, and extends to the edges of the flag. The design and colors of the Swedish flag are believed to have been inspired by the present Coat of arms of Sweden of 1442, which is blue divided quarterly by a cross pattée of gold, and modeled on the Danish flag. Blue and yellow have been used as Swedish colors at least since King Magnus III's royal coat of arms of 1275.

Ern, Who needs a special tool when you can just bust off a section of the car antenna? Raymond

just an fyi, the story of the black biker run over for stealing confederate flag is FALSE. that site, tmztoday, is a satire site. grayson

Wait a second. Wait a second. Are you telling me that Jay Z and Beyonce did NOT donate $15 million to Donald Trump's presidential campaign? Well great, there go my plans for Caitlyn Jenner Day! S'cool bro, sometimes a little satire is a good thing. Besides, how many cars these days come with metal whip antennas?

People think this secret McDonalds menu is some organized company sanctioned thing. It's not. It's just a bunch of bored cooks in the back killing time during the slow periods, by cooking random shit. Working at McDonalds was my first job and we used to whip up all kinds of crazy shit. Double Quarter Pounders? I was eating those bitches when you were still in grade school. We made every kind of omelette you can imagine. We fried our own shells to make tacos. Brought in dough and made whole pizzas on the grill. And if you really want to treat yourself, order a Big Mac made with quarter pounder meat and bun (4:1 meat) instead of the smaller 10:1 meat the Big Mac is usually made with. That's a fucking meal. But let's be clear about one thing: the McGangbang tastes fucking horrible; processed beef on top of processed chicken is a taste only a meth head can love. Also, yes, I was fired for stealing.

In Brooklyn's Finest, amid the drug deals, violence, casual racism, poverty, housing projects, and corrupt cops, we follow three officers: Tango (Don Cheadle) working undercover, believing he's earned a promotion to a desk job but told he has to set up the bust of an ex-con who saved his life; Sal (Ethan Hawke) who'll commit murder to get cash to buy a house big enough for his family; and, Eddie (Richard Gere) the precinct's oldest beat cop, a week to go before retirement, assigned to mentor an earnest rookie. Can this end well for any of the three? Probably not, especially somebody gets strangled with a zip-tie.


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