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Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

So I Guess Greg Focker's Wife is Designing Clothing Now?

Koopa Troopas are a fictional race of turtle-like creatures from the Mario series, as well as its sister Yoshi series. First appearing in the 1983 arcade game Mario Bros., in which they were known as Shellcreepers, they are among the oldest recurring enemies in the series, and have appeared in some form in all of the main games, and most of the spin-off games. When defeated, Koopas may flee from or retreat inside their shells, which can then usually be used as weapons. Koopa shells are a recurring weapon in the series, particularly popularized in the Mario Kart series, in which they can be fired as projectiles against other racers.

Everytime I Said That As a Kid, I Got My Mouth Washed Out With Soap.

The Honest Company, co-founded by actress Jessica Alba, is now the focus of customer complaints and photos of sunburned children posted online. The company's “natural mineral-based skin protection” lotion has been advertised as a safe and simple alternative to sunscreens containing synthetic chemicals, providing 80 minutes of water resistance and “broad spectrum' skin protection against the Sun's ultraviolet radiation. if you've tried -- and gotten burned, heh -- by Alba's snake oil, might I sugest you try Avene's Hydrating Sunscreen Lotion? It contains a unique UVA/UVB filter system enhanced with powerful antioxidant protection from Vitamin E, plus intensive 24-hour hydration and 80 minutes of water resistance.

Close, But No Banana. Or Cigar. Or Horshoe. Or Hand Grenade.

I have two photos today that would have made terrific photo challenges, but as infuriating as it is, I simply can't find enough clues in the image themselves to think there's any chance they can be solved. The first is this porch with multi-colored railings. Great image; very clear, lots of detail, the kid's playground, the order of the porch colors all makes the location very distinctive... but there simply isn't any information to begin the search with. What city, what state, what country? No house numbers, no street signs, no bus routes, no trash barrels, no business signs, no nothing. I even tried finding a gallery that included this picture, hoping other images would yield some information. Fucking zipolla. So instead, I'm asking you to find where this dry cleaners is located.

"Talk Shit, Get Hit." - J. Robert Oppenheimer

"Monday, August 6, 1945 at 08:06 and 2 seconds: Little Boy explodes 1,890 ft above the ground, directly over Shima Surgical Hospital. About 100,000 people in Hiroshima are killed instantly. In the rear of the Enola Gay, Bob Caron shouts ‘Here it comes!' just before the shockwave hits the plane. There was no mushroom cloud, but what they call ‘a stringer' — a cloud that comes up vertically. In Tibbet's words: ‘It was black as hell, and it had light and colors and white in it, and grey, and the top was like a folded-up Christmas tree.' ‘My God, look at that son of a bitch go!' Lewis shouts. On the tram, Eiko Taoka sees the world turn dark and hears a strange noise. She looks down at her son. He has fragments of glass in his head. He looks up at his mother and smiles. His smile will haunt Eiko for the rest of her life. He will survive for three weeks. Akihiro Takahashi is blown across the playground. Through his window, Dr Hachiya is bemused to see his garden lit by a strange light. Then there's a startling flash, darkness and thick swirling dust. The timbers that keep up the roof of his house are collapsing. He yells for his wife. Tail gunner Bob Caron takes pictures of the burning ground below. ‘It looked like lava,' he said later. Paul Tibbets is concentrating on making sure they avoid the blast. Robert Oppenheimer, Little Boy's designer, had prepared him for this moment: ‘Turn 159 degrees as fast as you can and you'll be able to put yourself the greatest distance from where the bomb exploded.' That is exactly what the B-29 Superfortress is doing." -- Today is the 70th anniversary of the morning Hiroshima was obliterated, as seen through the eyes of the Enola Gay's bomber crew and the few who survived.

This Country Needs Chris Christie The Same Way Anne Frank Needed A Drum Set.

Bon-aqua is filtered municial water processed by reverse osmosis and treated with ozonation, before minerals such as magnesium sulphate, potassium chloride and sodium chloride are added. Bon-aqua bottled water is available in a range of Plain, Plain Sparkling, Sparkling Flavoured, Still Flavoured and Enhanced Flavoured drinks.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Suddenly I Have Zero Interest In Chocolate Cip Cheesecake With An Oreo Cookie Crust.

Indesit Company is an Italian company based in Fabriano, Ancona province. It is one of the leading European manufacturers and distributors of major domestic appliances (washing machines, dryers, dishwashers, fridges, freezers, cookers, hoods, ovens and hobs). It claims to be the undisputed leader in major markets such as Italy, the UK and Russia. Founded in 1975 and listed on the Milan stock exchange since 1987, the Group posted sales of €2.7 billion in 2013. It has eight industrial areas in Italy, Poland, the UK, Russia and Turkey and 16,000 employees. The Group's main brands are Indesit, Ariston, Hotpoint and Scholtčs.

Now You're Left Wondering. Was That By ISIS or a Texan?

In honor of the New York Yankees dropping three in a row -- don't get too excited, fellow Sox fans, we're still 9.5 games back -- I have two New York City photo challenges for you In the early 1920s, "apple" was used in reference to the many racing courses in and around New York City; apple referred to the prizes being awarded for the races -- as these were important races, the rewards were substantial. In the late 1920s and early 1930s, New York City's jazz musicians began referring to New York City as the "Big Apple." The nickname later faded from use and wasn't revived until the early 1970s, as part of a tourism campaign to spiff up New York's image. A 1971 campaign to increase tourism to New York City adopted the "Big Apple" as an officially recognized reference to New York City. And while there are many Walgreens pharmacies in the Big Apple, and several NYPD police stations, there is only one Walgreens located in the same building as an NYPD station; find it!

This May Surprise You But I Don't Think Anyone Asked Him To His Senior Ball.

The diving boards of today just aren't what they used to be; 15 years ago, diving boards had major spring, but today, mainly because manufacturers are scared of lawsuits; it's tough to find a diving board that has very much spring at all. The diving boards of today simply aren't what they used to be; 15 years ago, diving boards had main spring, but today, mainly because manufacturers are scared of lawsuits; it's tough to find a diving board that has very much spring at all. And because these boards are so rigid, they lose their novelty rather quickly, causing pool owners to regret having installed them in the first place.

"Vegetarians Are Cool. All I Eat Are Vegetarians. Except For The Occasional Mountain Lion Steak." - Ted Nugent

Air Wick Scented Oil Air Freshener Triple Refill is designed to add a consistent and long-lasting fresh fragrance to a bedroom, bathroom, living room or den. This Air Wick Scented Oil Room Freshener Refill comes in a triple pack for your convenience. A characterful fragrance of aromatic Lavender essence rounded off with gentle Chamomile and precious woods. This oil refill is simple to use, just plug in the scented oil warmer and insert a refill. When the oil runs out, you can opt to replace it with the same or different fragrance.

Just Another Example Of The Man Trying To Keep A Brother Down.

Dashcam video surfaced Thursday of Alachua County Sheriff's deputies shooting and wounding an armed robbery suspect who raised a gun toward them outside a Gainesville grocery store back in May. The video shows deputies confronting the suspect outside a Winn-Dixie on North Main Street after 3 p.m. May 12. When deputies order the suspect to keep his hands visible and stand in front of a patrol car, he appears to back away, reach for his pocket and pull out a gun. Seconds later, he appears to point the gun at deputies, then one of them can be heard shouting, "I will fucking kill you," and both deputies open fire. Then the suspect -- later identified as Yowab Ben-Israel, 46, of Gainesville -- collapses in a hail of gunfire. Ben-Israel, who was wounded by three of 11 shots fired, was hospitalized following the shooting, but survived. He is now charged with armed robbery, assault on a law enforcement officer and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, all felonies. I think we can all agree that whether or not the police respond with lethal or less-than-lethal force depends not upon the color of your skin, but entirely upon whether or not their assailant is armed.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Please Stop Posting This Meme, You Stupid Ignorant Fucks.

317,000,000 Americans * $1,000,000 each = $317,000,000,000,000. Yes, that's $317 TRILLION dollars. As in seventeen times our currenty national debt. On the other hand, $360,000,000 divided up between 317,000,000 Americans = $1.14 each. So don't spend it all in one place, you dumb fuck.

Today I Learned The Squirrel From Ice Age Has A Name. It Is Scrat.

NASA conducted a developmental test firing of the RS-25 rocket engine, on August 13 at the agency's Stennis Space Center in Mississippi. The 535 second test was the sixth in the current series of seven-tests of the former space shuttle main engine. Four RS-25 engines will power the core stage of the new Space Launch System rocket, which will carry humans deeper into space than ever before, including to an asteroid and Mars. That's right, motherfucker: 'Murica, fuck yeah!

You Know, Unless You're Into That Sort Of Thing. No Judgements Here.

The Poké Ball is the major Poké Ball in the Pokémon saga. It features a red top, white bottom, and a horizontal black ring circling the ball. This type of Poké Ball is the weakest and the only type typically available at the beginning of the Pokémon games. It is also commonly used in Pokémon Anime. Poké Balls are not always at full size; pressing the button on the front will convert it between its full size, about the size of a baseball, to a smaller size, about that of a ping-pong ball, and back again. The larger size makes throwing the ball easier, while the smaller one makes for easier storage on a belt clip, in pockets, and in Bags.

On A Scale Of Casey Anthony To Jared Fogle, How Much Do You Like Kids?

It's hard to believe that Lost in Translation is twelve years old. That means it's been just as many years since the world was first introduced to a 23 year old Scarlett Johansson in her Tokyohotel room. According to, all of the hotel scenes were filmed at the Park Hyatt Tokyo; on a whim, I dug up this screen capture from the film and wondred how much of the Tokyo landscape has changed. This view looking looking towards the Park Hyatt Tokyo, rather than away from it, means there should be a big ass smokestack behind me, but there's not. So I think a shit ton of growth.

Master Chief... ... ... ... Suck. My. Dick.

The first two women to graduate from the Army's elite and grueling 62-day Ranger School said Thursday they were motivated to prove naysayers wrong and also break open the hatch for future generations of women. Yesterday Captain Kristen Griest, 26, a military police platoon leader, and 1st Lieutenant Shaye Haver, 25, an Apache attack helicopter pilot, spoke for the first time since completing their training at Fort Benning, a day before they graduate and receive their Ranger tabs. So I can think of no more fitting Friday Flick than GI Jane.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

As one might come to expect from the French, the crew on Paris-bound train barricaded themselves in their staffroom and locked the door as Kalashnikov-wielding terrorist went on the rampage; leaving American passengers to take him down.

Stick Figures Seem To Be A Lot More Versatile These Days.

The Creeper is one of the most unique and iconic hostile mobs found in Minecraft, and can easily be recognized by its tall vertical structure, green pixelated skin, and four legs. It is possibly the most dangerous enemy in the game, as it is not affected by sunlight, which makes it a constant threat as it silently roams the map, searching for a player to explode upon. It has earned Minecraft billions in marketing, and is the most recognizable Minecraft mob and character, including Steve.

Yeah, I Guess Life Can Be Kind Of A Dick Sometimes.

At first galvanic corrosion on an anchor chain may be only a cosmetic matter. It can mess up your chain locker and your deck as you pull it onboard and it can lend a galvanic corrosiony stain to your deck if you let a length of it lie there. But a little superficial corrosion doesn't necessarily mean that the chain is weakened. It may even add some temporary protection against the inevitable encroachment of deeper corrosion. Galvanic corrosion will come. It'll come as you use the chain and, it's my experience that it'll come even quicker as you allow the chain to fester in coils down in the chain locker covered with residue from salt water.

I've got $50 That Says Love Triangle. Disgruntled Employee? Huh.

Police are looking for a suspect who opened fire on WDBJ7 photographer Adam Ward and reporter Alison Parker. This happened during a live broadcast around 6:45 a.m. -- don't worry, disturbing but not graphic.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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