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Ernie's House of Whoopass! September 25, 2015
September 25, 2015

There Are Now Three Flavors Of Buffalo Wings: Mild, Medium, And Flaming Asshole Inferno.

I can't speak for everyone, but I'm certainly not looking forward to any of these assholes setting up shop anywhere near Main Street, USA. Because when I think of refugee, I think of war weary families running from the ravages of war, yet according tot he UN's very own Refugee Agency, of the near 500,000 "refugees" who are fleeing Syria, Libya, and Egypt -- 18% are children, 13% adult females, and 69-fucking-% are adult males. That's either one of two things: cowardice or malice. And these same assholes who are "afraid" to fight ISIS on the battlegrounds of Syria, seem to have absolutely no qualms about fighting the Europeans police guarding their borders. Thank goodness Boehner is stepping down, maybe whoever takes his place will have a big enough pair of balls to mount some sort of a defense against this invasion.

The Japanese macaque is a terrestrial monkey species native to Japan, sometimes known as the snow monkey, because they live in areas where snow covers the ground for months each year. Individuals have brown-grey fur, red faces, and short tails. Japanese macaques live in matrilineal societies, and females stay in their natal groups for life, while males move out before they are sexually mature. Males within a group have a dominance hierarchy, with one male having alpha status which usually changes when a former alpha male leaves or dies. Females maintain both social relationships and hygiene through grooming, which occurs regardless of climate or season. Females which are matrilineally related groom each other more often than unrelated individuals.

Movie Phone Super-Cut plumbs a pleasingly broad section of film history for its phone calls, although it does lose points for not having at least one shot of Joe Pesci angrily slamming a pay phone handset into the receiver. Other than that, it's pretty entertaining, and like any good movie phone call it finishes strong without overstaying its welcome.

Sensitive skin takes a beating during shaving. The Fusion HydraGel Ultra Sensitive Shave Gel's formula includes hydrating emollients that soften hair and glycerin to help keep your skin hydrated during the shave. Together, these ingredients give your razor a comfortable glide for an incredibly close shave.

Boy I sure would enjoy a nice glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. Where's the sunniest place to get one?

Ernie I think I was able to figure out what hotel you should be ordering room service from. I cropped out the part of the window and adjusted the contrast and you can make out the Caesar's Palace sign on the right of the strip. Directly behind it, in line of sight, is a large dark building which if I pull up Google looks like it's going to be the Cosmopolitan, so tracing it backwards she must be staying at Treasure island. Good luck, they charge $42 for a bottle of Jack Daniels. Have fun, Riffon

"Out of the 39 000 men and women that make up the United States Coast Guard there are only 280 rescue swimmers. This is because we are the Coast Guard's elite. We are the best of the best. When storms shut down entire ports, we go out. When hurricanes ground the United States Navy, we go out. And when the holy Lord himself reaches down from heaven and destroys his good work with winds that rip houses off the ground, We. Go. Out." -- Yeah, until the weather grounds the helos. Then we send the real animals in 47-foot Motor Lifeboats. Steve

Speaking of small boats and such, everyone remembers Yogi Berra for his actions on and off the baseball diamond, but did you know Yogi was also in the US Navy and manned a machine gun on 36-foot amphibious boat during D-Day? And so far, still no takers on either this sports team logo or this traffic sign.

The Welsh Springer Spaniel is a breed of dog and a member of the spaniel family, relatively unknown until a succession of victories in dog trials by the breed increased its popularity. Loyal and affectionate, they can become very attached to family members and are wary of strangers. Health conditions are limited to those common among many breeds of dog, although they are affected more than average by hip dysplasia and some eye conditions.The breed's coat only comes in a single color combination of white with red markings, usually in a piebald pattern. They are a working dog, bred for hunting, and while not as rare as some varieties of spaniel, they are rarer than the more widely known English Springer Spaniel with which they are sometimes confused.

And if you need the help, here's a close up of the orange juice.

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So Where The Fuck Did EHOWA Go?...

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