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The Return Of A Tasteless Tuesday Classic. Which Seems Fitting For Super Tuesday, No?

"High School was out for the summer. I was 17 years old I was hanging out with 5 friends. We were trying to think of something fun to do. We all decided to walk over to someones house several blocks away. We had walked about 2 or 3 blocks when we discovered a large brown dog laying in the street next to the curb. At first we thought the dog was asleep. We decided to wake the dog up because we were afraid the dog might get run over by a car. The dog would not wake up because it was dead. There was no blood and no injuries. We all stood around and talked for awhile about what to do with the dog. Someone mentioned putting the dog in the middle of the street like it was asleep and cars would honk their horns to try and wake up the dog.

I Used To Bang A Girl Whose Birthday Was March 2nd. Hell If I Can Remember Her Name Now.

Sannino is an Italian brand built by Mauro Sannino. He was taught framebuilding by his grandfather and spent about 10 years apprenticing to other framebuilders before starting his own business in 1979. He earned his reputation by supplying bicycles to the Polish and Russian national teams. Production was fairly limited, with about 1500 frames per year in the mid-1980s. Many of the early models were roughly finished but by the mid-1980s, things had improved considerably. Sannino was an Internationally recognized brand, noted for it's bright red signature color, but in more recent years, Mauro Sannino has worked with German bicycle company Corratec in manufacturing carbon fiber bikes.

My Entire Childhood Is Being Dismantled One Comedy-Adventure At A Time.

WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY? YOU ENJOYED YOUR CHILDHOOD? WELL THEN, I GUESS WE'LL JUST FUCK THAT UP FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. NO SERIOUSLY, WE ARE REALLY GOING TO FUCK THAT SHIT UP GOOD. YOU'RE WELCOME - SONY PICTURES.

I Love Lamp.

Miley Cyrus says if he's elected she's going to leave the country, thus denying Americans of this national treasure? I don't know if this is a strike against Trump or not. And if yesterday's trailer for soon-to-be-ruined Ghostbusters and soon-to-be-ruined Jumanji movie announcement wasn't enough to ruin your fucking day, perk up because they're going to ruin Baywatch, too.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Reposting A Fourteen Year Reminder. Pour Out a Little of Your Forty For My Moms, Yo.

One of the down sides to EHOWA's popularity is sometimes I can't be as open as I'd like to be regarding certain subjects. The site gets read by friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, etc ... and unfortunately I find that makes me want to hold back on certain things. I mean reading a story about some anonymous guy on the internet picking his nose in traffic is one thing; but when you're sitting across the table and he hands you a sandwich, it's a little different. I'm going to slip my bonds a little bit today, and I hope my brother doesn't mind too much.

Fresh Fish! Fresh Fish! Fresh Fish!

A smoke detector is a device that senses smoke, typically as an indicator of fire. Commercial security devices issue a signal to a fire alarm control panel as part of a fire alarm system, while household detectors, known as smoke alarms, generally issue a local audible or visual alarm from the detector itself. A photoelectric smoke detector contains a source of infrared, visible, or ultraviolet light, a lens, and a photoelectric receiver. In spot-type detectors all of these components are arranged inside a chamber where air, which may contain smoke from a nearby fire, flows. In large open areas such as atria and auditoriums, optical beam or projected-beam smoke detectors are used instead of a chamber within the unit: a wall-mounted unit emits a beam of infrared or ultraviolet light which is either received and processed by a separate device, or reflected back to the receiver by a reflector.

I Think Tomorrow We're Going To Revisit Chase-Pitkin.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. DON'T FUCK WITH THE JEWS.

My God, I Love Carice van Houten. I Really Do.

In case you missed it, the Game of Thrones season 6 trailer has been released and if I interpret it correctly, Carice van Houten -- who The Most Perfect Pair of Tits I've ever seen -- will once again be showing her lovelies in the upcoming season. And if you think that title is misplaced, might I remind you of her climbing out of the bathtub. And if you don't agree with me on that then you, much like Jon Snow, know nothing. And you should crawl back under the rock from whence you came. Also, while I don't really consider the Germanic languages to be all that romantic sounding, I can listen to her speak Dutch All. Damn. Day.

Let The Touristy Florida Shit Begin. Again.

The champagne flute is a stem glass with a tall, narrow bowl, commonly used for sparkling wines, flutes are also used for certain beers, especially fruit beers and Belgian lambics and gueuzes. The champagne flute was developed along with other wine stemware in the early 1700s as the preferred drinking vessel for wine shifted from metal and ceramic to glassware. Initially, the flute was tall, conical, and slender. By the 20th century, however, the shape preferred by glassware purchasers had changed from a straight-sided glass to one which curved inward slightly near the lip. The bowl is designed to retain champagne's signature carbonation by reducing the surface area at the opening of the bowl.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

This Is How I Feel When Soemone Described Bernie As A Democratic Socialist.

A single farmhouse sits atop a grassy hill somewhere in Smalltown, USA. Monstrous claps of thunder roll from one side of the horizon to the other, shake the very earth upon which we stand. A steady rain, coming down in pulses as if from an angry bleeding beast, is driven nearly sideways by vicious, howling winds. Lightning criss-crosses the sky and for the briefest of moments one might be able to distinguish between the dark grasses swirling in the wind and the black void that is the early November sky. Trees sway and struggle to keep themselves upright, and off in the distance sharp cracking noises announce the surrender of a several limbs to the wind's onslaught.

You Now Have 30 Days To Pay Protection Money Or Face Prosecution.

The Vernal Equinox in the Northern Hemisphere is the Autumnal Equinox in the Southern Hemisphere and vice versa. Many people believe on the equinoxes the sun shines directly on the equator and the length of day and night is nearly equal; they're close but not quite right. The Vernal Equinox marks the moment the Sun crosses the celestial equator -– the imaginary line in the sky above the Earth's equator -– from south to north and vice versa in September. And so at exactly 12:37pm on March 20th, the sun will cross the equator from south to north, marking the start of offical start of spring.

The TT's Air Conditioner Shit The Bed. Compressor, Clutch, Dryer... $2,800 Estimate. So Long, Little Car.

The untouched nature of Rajecka valley springs in northern Slovakia, yield a unique natural water marketed as Rajec. Its refreshing taste and optimum mineralization while maintaining a balanced ratio of calcium and magnesium will appeal to even the most demanding palette. Rajec bottled spring water gives you a sense of balance and harmony, every day throughout the year.

Phased Plasma rifle In The 40-Watt Range.

Happy Fucking St Patrick's Day. Usually I try to post lots of holiday themed links and pictures but to be perfectly fucking honest, I forgot this year. So fuck you, you whiny bitch.

Happy Saint Hangover Day.

When you're staying at a hotel, is it okay to pocket the bottles of shampoo and lotion? How about the magazines? Bathrobes? Furniture? It depends on the traveler. A recent Travelocity survey found 86 percent of hotel guests admitted to taking toiletries, like oatmeal soap and lavender body gel. About three percent said they swiped a bathrobe or slippers, and one percent said they stole dishes, silverware, electronics and — I'm not making this up — Bibles.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Okay Fine, Then Don't Insert Your Favorite Goddamn Title Here. See If I Care.

For as long as the internet has been around, well certainly as long as the haydays of America Online, there has been an online urban legend about how the US standard railroad gauge came to be, tracing its roots erives directly back to the width of an Imperial Roman war chariot and two horse asses. I can assure you it is false. While very clever, the story is just an urban legend, and therefore you can stop posting it on social media.

Jesus Christ, I Never Thought I'd Say it, But Donald Trump is Looking Pretty Good Right About Now. Also? KILL ME.

TAKE NOTE: If you bought your Amazon Kindle some time between 2007 to 2012, make sure to update its software by Tuesday or risk losing access to your e-books, according to Amazon. Owners of these old Kindles and/or Kindles which has not been connected to the Internet since October 5, 2015 needs to update the software for the popular e-book reader. The new software update will allow old Kindles to continue to download Kindle books from the cloud and access the Kindle Store. The list of Kindles that require the update range from the first-generation Kindle to the fifth-generation Kindle Paperwhite.

Curious Tho, How The Media Has Ignored Recent Terror Attacks in Turkey and The Ivovy Coast.

Quick, no time to explain, I NEED YOU TO FIND this restricted parking.

No Free Man Shall Ever Be Debarred The Use Of Chalk. - Thomas Jefferson, Virginia Constitution, Draft 1, 1776

TODAY IN CHALK: "Emory University President Says Students Are Scared And in Pain After Someone Wrote TRUMP 2016 In Chalk" and "Defiant Belgian Citizens Take a Stand Against Terror With Inspirational Chalk Messages."

Holy Shit, I Can't Believe It's Easter Weekend Already.

Well this is certainly akward. I have the same set of wooden TV trays. No kidding, see for yourself.

Insert Your Favorite Easter Weekend Joke Here.