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Ernie's House of Whoopass! March 10, 2016
March 10, 2016

My God, I Love Carice van Houten. I Really Do.

In case you missed it, the Game of Thrones season 6 trailer has been released and if I interpret it correctly, Carice van Houten -- who The Most Perfect Pair of Tits I've ever seen -- will once again be showing her lovelies in the upcoming season. And if you think that title is misplaced, might I remind you of her climbing out of the bathtub. And if you don't agree with me on that then you, much like Jon Snow, know nothing. And you should crawl back under the rock from whence you came. Also, while I don't really consider the Germanic languages to be all that romantic sounding, I can listen to her speak Dutch All. Damn. Day.

The Smith & Wesson Model 500 is a five-shot, single-action/double-action large-caliber revolver produced by Smith & Wesson, firing the .500 S&W Magnum cartridge, a .50 caliber bullet weighing 350 grains at 1975 feet per second, generating a muzzle energy of over 3,030 foot-pounds force. Here is is being fired at BY an elusive southern cougar, and then for a little more thorough look, here's internet favorite Hickok45 putting on a little hitting display. While admittedly more of a novelty gun, presuming you're not hunting a fucking brontosaurus, S&W 500's routinely sell for over $1100 used, which is why you should spent your tax return on one one brand new -- with factory compensator -- for $999 shipped to your FFL. Oh, and in case you want to check out more of the cougar.

Pixie Dust is a magical golden glitter-like powder that grants the abilities of flight. Many think that flight is fueled by "happy thoughts", and this idea has been used in the Peter Pan movies and Hook, but in reality Peter Pan was actually joking when he told them to think happy thoughts. So I'm not quite sure there's enough to go on, but if there is, I'd like to know where this pixie dust was supplemented for happy thoughts.

Hey Ernie, If you need help with a BMW all you have to do is ask me, if I don't know I'll definitely figure it out. This one was a softball though. It's a 2000/2001 BMW Z3. I even found a matching one for sale down in Florida for you to check out. Cory

Bet you get a bazillion Emails about this Ernie, but Dos Equis is retiring Jonathan Goldsmith as the iconic character. Here's the video from Dos Equis sending the "Most Interesting Man in the World" on a one-way trip to Mars. Can't be too bad - he's got a hottie for a co-pilot. To be determined: who will replace him with the tagline "Stay Thirsty my Friends" ... think I should toss my hat into the ring?!? - alek

You know, there are two advertising characters that I really enjoyed. Well, three if you include that little Taco Bell dog. But the first is Burger King's The King, and the second is Dos Equis' Most Interesting Man. I'm glad they sent him out like a boss. Jonathan Goldsmith actually wrote a pretty good farewell to him character/his fans on his own Facebook page.

Del Arte is a French chain of Groupe Le Duff specialized in the artisan fast food. Created in 1984 by the Accor Group, it offers pizzas, pastas, dolce and other Italian specialties. See if you can use their restaurant locator to find out where this particular franchise is located.

LOL, here's a memorial for 63 deer shot by sharpshooters in Ann Arbor to thin out the park's deer herd. What say we all gather at the circle where they were this summer and protest the cutting of grass. #grasslivesmatter Jon

This farmers market on the corner of Trinity street and E. 15th, in Austin Texas, Violetta is flashing around town, you can see the same building in the background behind the trucks. She was also the challenge from October 12, 2015. Rick

The Miami Heat took on the Philadelphia 76ers on Sunday night, and nobody really gives a shit. Because the real show was at halftime where they were having a baby race, and the buxom MILF who was calling her child to the finish line had TITS.FOR.DAYS. and they were glorious.

Pugs often are described as a lot of dog in a small space. These sturdy, compact dogs are a part of the American Kennel Club's Toy group, and are known as the clowns of the canine world because they have a great sense of humor and like to show off. Originally bred to be a lap dog, the Pug thrives on human companionship. The Pug's comical face, with deep wrinkles around big, dark eyes and a flat round face, can't help but make you smile. Pugs are clowns at heart, but they carry themselves with dignity. Pugs are playful dogs, always ready and able for games, but must be the center of attention, and are heartsick if ignored.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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