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Ernie's House of Whoopass! March 18, 2016
March 18, 2016

Happy Saint Hangover Day.

When you're staying at a hotel, is it okay to pocket the bottles of shampoo and lotion? How about the magazines? Bathrobes? Furniture? It depends on the traveler. A recent Travelocity survey found 86 percent of hotel guests admitted to taking toiletries, like oatmeal soap and lavender body gel. About three percent said they swiped a bathrobe or slippers, and one percent said they stole dishes, silverware, electronics and — I'm not making this up — Bibles.

Parasailing is a recreational kiting activity where a person is towed behind a vehicle while attached to a specially designed canopy wing that reminds one of a parachute, known as a parasail wing. While most commonly towed by boats, the parasail's moving anchor can also be a car, a truck, or in some cases, a personal watercraft; many of the latest higher performance personal watercraft have plenty of power to pull a parasailer. The one thing they lack is stability due to their light weight and short span. So while a personal watercraft will pull a parasailer in a straight line in calm wind conditions, care must be exercised in turning or when it starts getting windy to avoid capsizing. Whether a person would be satisfied with the limitations of pulling a parasailer with a PWC, is of course a personal judgement.

Cruise on down past the beat up Chinese models, and the unissued Yugoslavian SKS for $425 is a pretty good goddamn deal. Added bonus for lazy neat freaks? Add $10 and they'll clean the cosmoline off for you. A someone who has been there before, trust me and pay the $10.

Logitech is a leading webcam manufacturer, and the quality of the QuickCam Chat reflects the company's expertise. The spherical camera has cool white-and-blue styling and a flexible stand for attaching it to your laptop or sitting it on your desk. On-camera controls consist of a dedicated snapshot button and manual focus ring. It also covers all the angles with 360-degree swivelling and a comfortable headset for video calling, so start Skyping with your friends and family with the Logitech Quicam Chat. This camera has an easy set-up so you can make videos and calls right away!

I'll be honest, more people were able to find the marina than I would have expected. There were the usual suspects of course, Tim and Rick, and Cameron chimed in, but here's someone we haven't heard from before...

Hey Ernie, The nudists are are at the Marina at Cap D'Agle in France. The whole place is pretty much a nudist joint, or as they call it "Naturalist" Cap d'Agde has a large family-style naturist resort. The Village Naturiste (43°17'42”N 03°31'38”E) is a larg a large fenced-off part at the north-eastern edge of Cap d'Agde, although it is accessible along the public beach from the east. It is a self-contained town (sometimes referred to as the "Naked City"), where nudity is legal and common in the whole resort. In the evening, when it gets colder, more people are dressed, sometimes in revealing clothes. A local tourist tax is charged per person, per day. Cant really get a street view of their exact location but in the links you can see the half round club. Thanks! Shane

Hey Ernie, Thought I would check up on Chris Penn, for ya. Looks like he got 5 years for breaking into John Goodman's truck and 15 years for trying to run him over. Looks like he is also appealing the sentence, why not? It's not like he's got anything else to do til 2035. I wonder if they'll give him his old cell back. Tim

Holy shit, five and fifteen years. Oddly enough, that was the exact same sentencing as the other guy we convicted back in 2009, who is currently serving his 15 year sentence at the Calhoun Correctional Institution. Small world, I guess. NOW EVERYONE SHUT UP AND FIND THIS YELLOW H.

Finally, the UFC fight we've all been waiting to see: Nate Diaz versus Justin Bieber.

FRIDAY FLICK: "See, I tried to be a friend, motherfucker. Surprise, nigga. Big bad Marines. Look at you now. Does she suck you? Fuck you? Make you feel like a man? Make you feel real good? Huh, boy? Now, she wasn't doin' it like that before you went to the war, now was she? Now you gettin' all that good lovin', and you can't even put food on your fuckin' table. Come on, Santa Claus. Open your mouth and suck this. Come on. I got a present for you. Suck it! Suck it, nigga! What are you going to do, shooot me? Shoot me right now. You lucky this is personal, nigga. I ain't gonna kill you over no woman. Don't you ever... in your fuckin' life... bite the hand that feeds you, nigga."

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So Where The Fuck Did EHOWA Go?...

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