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Ernie's House of Whoopass! March 22, 2016
March 22, 2016

Jesus Christ, I Never Thought I'd Say it, But Donald Trump is Looking Pretty Good Right About Now. Also? KILL ME.

TAKE NOTE: If you bought your Amazon Kindle some time between 2007 to 2012, make sure to update its software by Tuesday or risk losing access to your e-books, according to Amazon. Owners of these old Kindles and/or Kindles which has not been connected to the Internet since October 5, 2015 needs to update the software for the popular e-book reader. The new software update will allow old Kindles to continue to download Kindle books from the cloud and access the Kindle Store. The list of Kindles that require the update range from the first-generation Kindle to the fifth-generation Kindle Paperwhite.

E & J Gallo Winery is a winery and distributor headquartered in Modesto, California, founded in 1933 by Ernest Gallo and Julio Gallo, and is the largest exporter of California wines. The two brothers started the winery following the repeal of Prohibition after years of growing and selling grapes. By 1993, E & J Gallo was the country's largest winery, with a 25% share of the American wine market. In addition to the Gallo Family Vineyards brand, the company makes, markets, and distributes wine under more than 60 other labels including: Carlo Rossi, Boone's Farm, Barefoot WIneries, DaVinci, Liberty Creek, Livingston Cellars, Mattie's Perch, Redwood Creek, Red Rock Winery, and William Hill Estate.

New York Giants safety Landon Collins is only 22 years old, but he's on pace to break Antonio Cromartie's record of kids -- after impregnating three girls at the same time, Collins gets engaged to a fourth girl. Meanwhile, you still live in your mother's garage.

A bollard is a short vertical post; in the maritime contexts in which the term originates, a bollard is either a wooden or iron post found as a deck-fitting on a ship or boat, and used to secure ropes for towing, mooring and other purposes; or its counterpart on land, a short wooden, iron or stone post on a quayside to which craft can be moored. So now that you know what it is, I want you to find where it is.

Hi, Ernie, hope you're having a good day out at the range, practicing for when the zombies finally get here. (And they call us paranoid for preparing for the inevitable, lol. What do you call a paranoid person when they are inevitably proven right? A Prodigy. Anyways . . ) The scenery looked very familiar to me as I grew up in that area, which helped narrow down the search very quickly. The sign with the yellow H can be clearly seen if you're facing east and slightly north on Kurfurstendam Strasse in Berlin, Germany. Those gorgeous legs, not so much on street view. But I wanted to take a shot at it and see if I did good, at least. May you always get the headshots when you need them, and have a cold one or two later. Joe

Hey Ern! Motorhed, again. I'm usually pretty good at finding those challenges, just not as fast as everyone else (I tend to be a few days behind in my surfing). Here is one that I cannot find; maybe I am missing something. -Nick.

First, you are a son of a bitch for making me look at this picture. Two, you are a son of a bitch for making me track down the original gallery, including this photo of park bench. Three, you are not a son of a bitch for making me track down the Spessart Nature Park ("Naturpark Spessart"), although at 2,400 square kilometers I highly doubt we're going to find the location of your cruicifix. But you you know what else occured to me? At least one of you should be able to find where yesterday's Buick Gran Sport was parked.

Ahh, Hi-Points. There's never any in-between opinions when it comes to the Ghetto Glocks: people either absolutely love them or they absolutely hate them. And while some people suggest they cater to a "particular demographic" -- although I can't imagine why ($100) anyone ($100) would ($100) think ($100) that -- this author claims the worst gun she ever owned cost her over five times the price of your standard Hi-Point.

Number of privately owned firearms in 1993: 185 million. Homicide by firearm in 1993: 7 per 100,000. Number of privately owned firearms in 2013: 357 Million. Homicide by firearm in 2013: 3.6 per 100,000. To be very clear on what these numbers say -- no, we can not assume lower homicide rates are caused by higher firearm ownership rates -- as is an opinion of many -- because correlation does not mean causation. However, we can say with 100% accuracy that the addition of 172 million privately owned firearms -- Hi-Point or not -- has NOT increased the firearm homicide rate in this country.


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