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Tomorrow Is The Return.

Insert Your Favorite Broken And Dislocated Ankle Joke Here.

I am Ernie Stewart, Lord Commander of the Internet Watch and Second of my Name. I have survived riding my fucking ATV off of a two story cliff with nothing more than a concussion and a separated shoulder for my effort. And this is what happened to my ankle while riding my fucking scooter in a parking lot at a whopping 15 miles per fucking hour. The Cliff Notes version so far is here is an x-ray of a healthy ankle. In particular, pay attention to the left image and how closely the two vertical bones - the tibia, which is the big shin bone, and the fibia, which is the smaller one -- come down nice and close at the bottom and form a 'pocket' for the square top of the ankle (talus) to fit into. Well here is my left ankle on the evening of 21 June. Notice how decidedly unclose the bottoms of the tibia and fibia are in order allow the talus to just go barging its way all the fuck up in there. Notice how the fibia is broken into two places. Notice how the bottom corner of what was supposed to be that pocket -- called the medial malleolus -- is kind of sheared off. This past Monday OI had/endured surgery to repair the fractures, and I have been immobile since then. I know that I usually sportscast these things pretty well, but please understand what I can't go too far into the who-what-where-when-why at this time. But when I can, I am very much looking forward to relaying my experience with Ketamine, which I was given by the ER doc before she reduced the dislocation. Let's just say, big fan.

The Road To Hell Is Indeed Paved With Good Intentions.

I had every intention of making a post yesterday because the 4th of July is my favorite holiday of the year. I always get a bunch of patriotic links together, share some patriotic titties, and generally just try to have fun with it. Unfortunately, this year I spent the entire Fourth on the couch, on my ass, with my fucking foot up on some pillows and generally hating life. I piss into a fucking cranberry juice jug, because doing that is easier -- and less painful -- then making it to the bathroom which is only twenty fucking steps away. There is no position I can lay in that alleviates the throbbing pain below my knee; I can only lessen it a bit, or shift it from one side to the other by rolling my ankle a little bit, but I'm never really pain free. I'm about done wth this bullshit. But it's cool tho, only three more months to go before I can start to put some weight on my ankle.

Today Me And My Stitches Part Ways.

Christian Dior was a French fashion designer, best known as the founder of one of the world's top fashion houses, also called Christian Dior, which is now owned by Groupe Arnault. Dior's designs were more voluptuous than the boxy, fabric-conserving shapes of the recent World War II styles, influenced by the rations on fabric.

Removing 30 Tiny Metal Staples Felt Like 30 Tiny Honeybee Stings.

Pacific Sunwear of California is a United States-based retail clothing brand rooted in the youth oriented culture and lifestyle of California. The company sells lifestyle apparel, along with footwear and accessories designed for teens and young adults. As of late 2011, the company operated over 800 stores in all 50 states and Puerto Rico. PacSun is headquartered in Anaheim, California and operates a distribution center in Olathe, Kansas. The company's regional directors, district managers and store positions are located throughout the United States and Puerto Rico. On April 7, 2016, PacSun filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.

Boy This Descent Into Madeness Sure Is Picking Up Steam, Isn't It?

Every toy balloon has an opening through which gases are blown into it, followed by a connecting tube known as the neck. Balloons are usually filled by using one's breath, a pump, or a pressurized gas tank. The opening can then be permanently tied off or clamped temporarily. By filling a balloon with a gas lighter than air, such as helium, the balloon can be made to float. Helium is the preferred gas for floating balloons, because it is inert and will not catch fire or cause toxic effects when inhaled. Small, light objects are sometimes placed in balloons along with helium and released into the air and, when the balloon eventually descends, the object inside might be found by another person.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

All This Comfort Food Has Made Me Really Uncomfortable.

Before I discovered boneless chicken breasts, thin slices of veal cut from the leg-called cutlets, scallops, or scallopine-were the only thin, tender, boneless meat widely available. But veal was expensive, and remains so. Still, veal does have a different texture and flavor than chicken breasts, and good veal cutlets are still wonderful sautéed in olive oil and drenched in lemon juice. You can make this recipe with thinly pounded chicken or turkey cutlets, or with any thin-sliced pork.

Nor Should Anyone. Ever. Run Those Fuckers Over.

Doctor Who is a British science-fiction television programme produced by the BBC since 1963. The programme depicts the adventures of the Doctor, a Time Lord—a space and time-travelling humanoid alien. He explores the universe in his TARDIS, a sentient time-travelling space ship. Its exterior appears as a blue British police box, which was a common sight in Britain in 1963 when the series first aired. Accompanied by companions, the Doctor combats a variety of foes, while working to save civilisations and help people in need.

For Virtually All Of This Morning, I Thought It Was Friday. Imagine How Disappointed I am.

I suppose deep down on some level I consider myself a native New Yorker, wince I spent the first nineteen years of my life there. And when I say New Yorker, I don't mean what the rest of the country considers a New Yorker, I mean I'm from upstate New York. And let me tell you, the people from upstate New York don't like being associated with the folks from New York City, for obvious reasons. So I think I've worked out a solution that the USAF can help us with, if they'd be so kind as to loan me one of their B-63 variable yield nuclear bombs, cranked all the way up to 1.2 megatons. Proper placement can rid us of this menace once and for all, while preserving both Newark and JFK international airports, and the Bronx zoo.

Now My Leg - Specifically My Achilles Tendon - Are Actually Starting To Hurt In My Dreams.

It was just one month ago when stuntwoman Jessie Graff rocked the American Ninja Warrior's Los Angeles Qualifiers. Can she repeat her performance in the Los Angeles Finals? HINT: You bet your cute litte Wonder Woman ass.

At Some Point We're Going To Have To Swallow This Jagged Little Pill.

In New York, terrorism used an airplane. In Boston, terrorism used a bomb. In Orlando, terrorism used a gun. In nice, terrorism used a truck. The problem isn't the choice of weapon, it's the ideology. This time helpless and unarmed Frenchmen and women were crushed, gunned-down, and mutilated by yet another armed, suicidal terrorist. Sure he was ultimately killed by police, but only after he murdered in excess of 84 innocent lives, plus another hundred or so more injured. So yes, as pro-gun people have been saying all along, this is what happens when you ban guns; bad guys will just move on to the next weapon du jour, the only difference being, the population is unable to defend itself.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Anyone Else Hoping For A Nice Extinction Level Event In 2016?

The Audi symbol is four ceiling rings that reflect the four manufacturers of Auto Union. The initial ring from at the left side represents Audi, the next represents DKW, the third is Horch, then the fourth ring is Wanderer. As sush, the four rings depicted on the Audi emblem are remindful of the four oldest car makers in Germany that immersed together to found the company in 1932.

I Guess Some Men Were Right To Begin With.

Just within the last three days we've experienced: three police officers killed in Louisiana, a guy took an axe -- a fucking AXE! -- to attack people in Germany, 26 people burned to death in a bus crash in China, an eight year old kid shoots and kills himself, we're receiving our first images of Jupiter via the Juno probe, a prisoner and corrections officer kill each other in Pennsylvania, China hacked our FDIC, for the first time the Zika virus jumped from one person to another without sexual contact, and a woman used the same words during a speech that another woman used eight years ago. I don't have to tell you which of these news stories is currently dominating the headlines, but I do have to ask, what does that say about our moral barometer?

Old And Busted: Hump Day. The New Hotness: Crutch And Roll Day.

The Split Leafed Philodendron is known for its tropical oversized leaves with what appears to be cuts within them. It is also known as the Swiss cheese plant. The one thing to watch with this house plant is that due to its oversized foliage and the ability to grow in large proportions, you may need to stake the stems. The Split Leaf Philodendron prefers medium lighting, so it is best to keep this plant located within 5 to 8 feet of a window. However, be careful when choosing the location for this house plant because once you have placed it somewhere it does not like to be moved. Also, if the light level is to low, the Split Leafed Philodendron leaves will not develop their unique perforations.

And My Air Conditioner Shit The Bed Last Night.

Great for travel, lightweight strollers -- sometimes referred to as "umbrella strollers" because of their small folded shape -- are light and more compact, usually weighing between 8-17 lbs. But they cut some corners compared to standard size. For starters, they don't offer car-seat adapters, and thus can't be used until baby is at least 6 months old. They also use smaller wheels, and this makes them less maneuverable, and very difficult to push on rough surfaces.

Is It Me, Or Are Fridays Getting Further And Further Apart?

Getting caught in an awkward situation where you have to make a decision between raising your hand for assistance and serving yourself is a universal experience we all face at some point in time. Such encounters are especially prominent overseas, so picking up the universal language of knife and fork would be handy in getting your requests across. There is an etiquette of placing knife and fork on a plate while resting or after finishing. For example crossing your knife and fork at 90 degree angles means you are ready for a second plate, while placing them diagonally means you are only pausing. If you are finished with your meal, place your fork and knife parallel to each other, facing away from you. Likewise, place your fork and knife horizontally across your plate to pay the chef and the wait staff a compliment.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Congratulations Because Whether You Know It Or Not, You Are Now Part Of The Political Revolution. - Bernie Sanders.

Whether you consider Donald Trump to be the savior of the GOP or just some batshit crazy guy bent on world destruction, one thing is not in dispute: he was the candidate chosen by the Republican voters. Sure, there was certainly a movement within the GOP establishment to oust him, but in the end, the voters word was final and Trump's name is on the ticket. Hillary Clinton on the other hand, is only the Democratic candidate because of the corruption and cronyism running rampant within the DNC. Everyone's suspicions of rigged elections and political sabotage were confirmed with the 23,000 email flood from Wikileaks. And the woman who orchestrated it all -- and subsequently deemed too corrupt to hold a position in the DNC -- was welcomed by the Clinton campaign with open arms and now plays an integral part in her master's quest for the Oval Office. If Bernie fans really feeel themselves to be part of a political revolution, this my friends, is where the rubber meets the road. Tonight's DNC convention, and the coming weeks ahead, should be nothing but a sea of pitchforks and torches striving to take your party back. Because if it isn't -- or if you intend on rewarding Hillary's behavior by throwing the switch for her come November -- then you're no less corrupt than she is.