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Ernie's House of Whoopass! September 7, 2016
September 7, 2016

I Think We Should Start With A Basic Civics Test In Order To Vote.

And nothing too in depth, just simple shit we learned in the 5th grade. What are the three branches of government? How many Supreme Court Justices are there? How many years are a Congressman and a Senator elected to office for. Name three Cabinet positions. How old do you have to be in order to be elected President? Because if you can't answer the fucking basics, I fear your fucking vote a shit ton more than I fear any candidate. And Jesus H Christ it pissed me off when some ignorant asshole dismisses Hillary's classified email breach as simply, "She lied about her emails." It's tantamount to saying Bradley Manning just released a video, or Al Capone forgot a few tax codes. It's dismissive bullshit that demonstrates you have absolutely no understanding of the gravity of what happened and it makes me want to punch you in your fucking face.

A two-alarm fire in a three-story residential building in San Francisco's Hayes Valley neighborhood early yesterday morning displaced at least six adults, fire officials said today. The fire on Haight Street near Octavia Boulevard was reported at 2:12 a.m. and went to two alarms at exactly 2:23 a.m., according to fire department spokeswoman Mindy Talmadge. Firefighters reported heavy fire with visible flames, especially in the attic area, Talmadge said. The fire was declared under control shortly after 3 a.m., and the cause and point of origin remain under investigation.

Clovis New Mexico police say an Officer Chris Caron stopped a man on a bicycle for a minor traffic offense, when awarrant check revealed the man, 34-year-old Anthony Baca, had an outstanding felony warrant for failure to appear in court. When Officer Caron attempted to arrest him, police say Baca fled on foot. The officer chased him, deploying his Taser when Baca attempted to scale a fence. However, the Taser had no effect and that's when police say Baca pulled out a gun and shot Officer Caron. The entire incident was captured on Caron's body camera.

James Mercer Langston Hughes was an American poet, social activist, novelist, playwright, and columnist from Joplin, Missouri. He was one of the earliest innovators of the then-new literary art form called jazz poetry. Hughes is best known as a leader of the Harlem Renaissance in New York City. He famously wrote about the period that "the negro was in vogue", which was later paraphrased as, "when Harlem was in vogue". His poetry and fiction portrayed the lives of the working-class blacks in America, lives he portrayed as full of struggle, joy, laughter, and music. A popular miscoinception is Langston committed suicide due to his poem titled Suicide Note, which reads, "The calm, cool face of the river asked me for a kiss." In actuality, Hughes died in New York City in 1967 at the age of 65 from complications after abdominal surgery related to prostate cancer.

A gentle reminds to those of you who live in warmer climates: alligators are still dangerous creatures, even after you've shot them three times with a 9mm pistol.

I found your Miracle Match. Tim.

Ernie, I was convinced this gal was drinking healthy Matcha, a ground up green tea with healthy antioxidant powers. But further investigating showed she just enjoyed a Slurpee or a Big Gulp. Frank

I don't believe you'll need to be a student of artitecture to identify where this young lady is smoking a cigaratte, but I'll be you'll have to have at least a fundamental subject knowledge to figure out where this young lady is taking a stroll. See if you can't find both on Streetview.

When it comes to colors on a golf course, the stakes are high. Crossing the line could cost you strokes. White stakes or white lines are used to indicate out-of-bounds. A course can mark out-of-bounds in other ways, too; for example, a fence might mark the boundary along certain parts of a course. When white stakes (or a white fence) indicate out-of-bounds, then out-of-bounds begins at the nearest inside point of the stakes at ground level, excluding any kind of angled supports. When a line is used to indicate out-of-bounds, the line itself is out-of-bounds. Out-of-bounds brings the dreaded stroke-and-distance penalty - a golfer must assess himself a 1-stroke penalty, return to the spot of the previous shot and hit it again.

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So Where The Fuck Did EHOWA Go?...

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