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Ernie's House of Whoopass! September 9, 2016
September 9, 2016

Many Ammosexuals Practice The Religion Of ... wait for it... wait for it... Gundamentalism!

Just want you to know I have enjoyed your site for a good while now. Very informative and entertaining. I have been reading about your continuing improvement on your ankles. I did miss the original cause of the injuries. I hope you get back 100% soon. V/r Clyde

Justr one ankle, the left. There are usually two x-rays because they shoot a front and side view of the injury. Anyway, it was late in June and there I was -- minding my own business -- riding my scooter and enjoying an otherwise beautiful summer afternoon. I met up a friend at a nearby drugstore so he could get some passport photos taken for his Florida CCW application. From there, we were going to head right aocross the street to the grovery store to grab some steaks, and then over to his place to grill out. The whole trip was 1000 feet at the most. We had just left the drugstore and I was turning through the back of the parking lot towards the exit, and a split second later I was sliding on the pavement with my scooter on top of my leg. When I finally came to a stop, my left foot was pointing sideways. I mean literally, 60 degree to the left, sideways. My friend helped me into his car and we hurried over to his place where he splinted it and called The Boss lady. After she got there, we headed off to the hospital -- the good one in Fort Myers, not the shitty one here in the Cape. I spent a good portion of the night in the ER and long story short, I dislocated my ankle, broke the smaller bone (fibula) in two places, snapped the tip off the larger shin bone (tibia), and completely destroyed the ligament that holds the two together -- an event known as a trimalleolar fracture. Look it up, it's gruesome but interesting, although mine wasn't quite an open fracture. Surgery was the following week after the swelling had subsided a bit, and I am now the proud owner of ten screws and a long ass metal plate on one side, two screws on the other, and a piece of high tensile steel threaded between the two and holding the two bones together in place of the ligament. Strict rules from the doc... absolutely no weight bearing for twelve weeks. I spent the first month on the couch on my back, leg elevated and doing nothing but Netflix and chill and by chill I mean popping percocets. After that it was knee scooter, and in a few weeks I'll graduate to crutches. Who would have guessed riding a scooter is more dangerous than you'd think, eh? A day will come when I go into the story in greater detail, but it is not this day.

Lumbricus terrestris is a large, reddish worm species widely distributed around the world. In some areas where it is an introduced species, some people consider it a serious pest for outcompeting native worms. Although this is not the most abundant earthworm, even in its native range, it is a very conspicuous and familiar earthworm species in garden and agricultural soils of the temperate zone, and is frequently seen on the surface, unlike most other earthworms. It is also used as the example earthworm for millions of biology students around the world, even in areas where the species does not exist.

To give you some idea of the sad fucking state of affairs our country is in, Millennials are completely clueless about who was behind the 9/11 terrorist attacks, or what the fuck even happened that day. As the fifteen year anniversary approaches, media analyst Mark Dice asked San Diegans about the horrific incident and discovered they are sadly out of touch with reality.

Hey Ernie, longtime lurker/sometime lbeh contributor. Can't believe how long your recovery has been. Just caught this movie on demand last night, has some good moments/tits. Relevant scene @ :30. Oh, and FUCK Clinton. Robert

I recognized the W hotel in Barcelona right a way. The photo may have been taken from one of the docks in the foreground that does not have a street view. Rick

Mrs. Brady aside, I like the soundtrack. Very James Brown'ish. Anyway, here's a sofball to warm you up for the weekend. I'm looking for a pizza and cafeteria. Help me find my lunch date.

"All right, pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy, this is a pussy blow out! All right, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got [sniffs] smelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, we got snappin' pussy, we got silk pussy, velvet pussy, Naugahyde pussy, we even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy! Come on, you want pussy, come on in, pussy lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on in, pussy lovers!" Now, replace "pussy" with "ammo" and you'll have some idea of the selection of ammo available at Wikiarms. Yeah, it's that good.

A levee is an elongated naturally occurring ridge or artificially constructed fill or wall, which regulates water levels. It is usually earthen and often parallel to the course of a river in its floodplain or along low-lying coastlines. The word levee, from the French word levée -- from the feminine past participle of the French verb lever, "to raise" -- is used in American English, most notably in the Midwest and deep South. It originated in New Orleans a few years after the city's founding in 1718 and was later adopted by English speakers. The name derives from the trait of the levee's ridge being raised higher than both the channel and the surrounding floodplains.

Ernie, big fan. First time, long time, blah blah. That's an Emperor Moth on that girls breast, not a butterfly. "The more you know!" Marc

Ernie says: Actually, it's the more you don't know! Pay close attention to the two orange markings on the leading edge of each wing.

Ernie, that moth is the Common Buckeye (Junonia Coenia). The thing it's sitting on is the beloved Titicus Maximus. Brian

YOU DAWG, I HEARD YOU LIKE PHOTO CHALLANGES. So I put a photo challenge, inside this photo, so you can challenge yourself, while you challenge your challenge. Find where that boat was.

And shit. I done forgot Gene Wilder last week so for today's FRIDAY FLICK: "That's Grossberger. The biggest mass murderer in the history of the southwest? My dear, he killed his entire family and all of his relatives in one weekend and then he killed some more people that reminded him of his family!" And here's a bit of trivia for you: Arizona State Prison officials used the money given to rent out their facilities to construct a rodeo arena of their own. With the movie's plot twist of a prison rodeo, life imitated art. For two years, Warden Robert Raines of the Arizona State Prison had tried to organize such a rodeo. The major obstacle was the cost of constructing an arena, complete with grandstand, stables and livestock chutes. When Columbia Pictures inquired about renting the facility, the warden saw it as a way to realize his dream. Provided that security could be maintained, the prison was available for a fee which, hardly by coincidence, matched the budget for the new rodeo grounds.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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