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Welcome To December. Only 23 More Shopping Days Until Christmas.

Perhaps I'm just a little out of touch with recent fashion trends, but is this a Briggs and Stratton hat?

Only 23 More Sleeps Until Christmas. Unless You Do Meth, Then Only Like, 3 Sleeps.

The GS Mark, which stands for “Geprufte Sicherheit” in German and means Safety Tested, is a licensed mark of the German government and may only be issued by an accredited product safety testing and certification agency. The GS Mark is recognized throughout Germany and EU countries as symbol of safety. German consumers are willing to pay a higher price for products if there is a strong certification mark on it. The GS Mark minimizes manufacturers' risk of product liability and provides manufacturers with the confidence that their products are safe, legal and of high quality. The GS mark also assures end users that the product has been independently tested by an authorized third party for safety. Any product bearing the GS Mark indicates that it was tested and complies with the minimum requirements of the German Product Safety Act.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

I Just Realized As Shitty As 2016 Has Been, Chicago Cubs Fans Are Having The Best Year Ever.

Farfalle are a type of pasta commonly known as bow-tie pasta. The name is derived from the Italian word farfalla, meaning "butterfly", and the 'e' at the end of the word is the Italian feminine plural ending, making the meaning of the word "butterflies". Farfalle come in several sizes, but they all have a distinctive "bow tie" shape. Usually, the farfalle are formed from a rectangle or oval of pasta, with two of the sides trimmed to a ruffled edge and the center pinched together to make the unusual shape of the pasta. Though usable with most sauces, farfalle are best suited to cream and tomato sauces.

75 Years Ago The Kido Butai Was In The Middle of The Pacific Ocean.

So big news in my neck of the woods, an off duty officer for the local police departyment got absolutely shitfaced -- and I mean shitfaced to the tune of a BAC .253 -- and drove her car into someone's house. Here's the view of the route she was taking and given her blood alcohol content, I'm guessing she more or less passed out at the wheel and just plowed straight on, right into the victim's house. Thankfully no bystanders were injured so her injuries aside, kiss that career in law enforcement goodbye.

Aerie is a lingerie retailer and intimate apparel sub-brand owned by American Eagle Outfitters. The brand targets the American 15- to 25-year-old female demographic.

A Date Which Shall Live In Infamy.

At first, everyone thought it was a piece of loose rigging slapping against the wrecked hull of the USS West Virginia. Bang. Bang. To the survivors on land, it was just another noise amid the carnage of Pearl Harbor a day after the Dec. 7, 1941, attack. Like the sound of fireboats squirting water on the USS Arizona. Or the hammers chipping into the overturned hull of the Oklahoma. But they realized the grim truth the next morning, in the quiet dawn. Someone was still alive, trapped deep in the forward hull of the sunken battleship. Bang. Bang. The Marines standing guard covered their ears. There was nothing anyone could do. When salvage crews raised the West Virginia six months later, they found the bodies of three men huddled in an airtight storeroom: Ronald Endicott, 18; Clifford Olds, 20; and Louis "Buddy" Costin, 21. But the most haunting discovery was the calendar. Sixteen days had been crossed off in red pencil. The young sailors had marked their time, not knowing what had happened to their ship or that their country was at war.

I Fear All We Have Done Is To Awaken A Sleeping Giant And Fill Him With A Terrible Resolve.

All six of Japan's first-line aircraft carriers, Akagi, Kaga, Soryu, Hiryu, Shokaku and Zuikaku, were assigned to the mission to attasck Pearl Harbor. With over 420 embarked planes, these ships constituted by far the most powerful carrier task force ever assembled. Vice Admiral Chuichi Nagumo, an experienced, cautious officer, would command the operation. His Pearl Harbor Striking Force also included fast battleships, cruisers and destroyers, with tankers to fuel the ships during their passage across the Pacific. So, what ever happened to twenty surface combat ships that participated in the Japanese attack of Pearl Harbor? I'm glad you asked.

Because That's What The Fuck You Get When You Attack Pearl Harbor.

In the early hours of November 13th, 1942 the Japanese battleship Kirishima-- a veteran of the surprise attack on Pearl Harbor -- took part in the close-quarters melee later known as the First Naval Battle of Guadalcanal, wherein she, her sistership HIJMS Hiei and a task force of one Cruiser and twelve Destroyers were intercepted by US warships while en route to bombard Henderson Field and US transports on Guadalcanal. Splitting into three groups, Japanese naval forces entered Ironbottom Sound after sunset on November 14th, with the Kirishima leading a dedicated bombardment force consisting of two Heavy and two Light Cruisers screened by two Destroyers. Japanese success the night prior in the First Naval Battle of Guadalcanal led many aboard the Japanese ships to believe that there would be minimal US Navy presence in Ironbottom Sound to oppose their movements, however just to the Southeast of their position the USS South Dakota and the USS Washington, two US Battleships, were steaming towards Savo Island on a combat patrol, their screen of four Destroyers running in a van well ahead of their position. Still unaware of any enemy presence, the entire Japanese formation appeared on the long range Radar systems aboard the US Battleships at 2255hrs, which immediately sent out contact reports and ordered the entire formation to prepare for battle.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

So Anyway, This Is Today's Post.

And if you haven't already, please ony up a few bucks to Let's Bring Em Home as we're running about $8k behind in donations!

Happy Birthday To My Brother, Mark.

After Jimmy John Liautaud graduated second to last in his class at Elgin Academy, his father gave him the choice to join the military or start a business. Liautaud eventually chose to start a business and accepted his father's $25,000 loan to start a hot dog business, with the son owning 52% of the business, and his father owning 48%. He soon realized that a hot dog business would cost more than he had, so he decided to open a sandwich shop specializing in delivery, called Jommy Hohn's. Headquartered in Champaign, Illinois, in 30 years, the company has grown to more than 2,500 locations in 46 states. Jimmy John's has opened approximately 200 locations per year over the past three years.

You Have Not Lived Today Until You Have Done Something For Someone Who Can Never Repay You. - John Bunyan

With less than two weeks to go until Christmas, LBEH is still about $10,000 shy in donations, so help a brother out if you can!

Only Two Weeks Left In 2016 And I Say, Good Riddance, AMIRITE?

Aside from the physical benefits, one of the best benefits of yoga is how it helps a person manage stress, which is known to have devastating effects on the body and mind. Now obviously I can't do the standing on one leg part because of my ankle, but I tried to touch my hands together behind my back like this, and almost dislocated my fucking shoulder. I guess I'm staying stressed.

The Electoral College Votes Monday, This Should Be Exciting.

Let's Bring Em Home update: $79,800 raised. 90 tickets completed, with 8 more in the chute. And one more round of applications to go, so we can still use all the help we can get!

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

We're All Gonna Die.

In an event that is widely acknowledged to have sparked the outbreak of World War I World War III, Archduke Franz Ferdinand Andrey Karlov, nephew friend of Emperor Francz Josef President Vladimir Putin and heir Ambassador to the Austro-Hungarian Empire Turkey, is shot to death alongside his wife live on television by a Serbian Turkish nationalist in Sarajevo, Bosnia Ankara, Turkey, on this day in 1914 2016.

Even After The Electoral College Vote, Berners Be Like 'Bernie Can Still pull This Off.'

A sushi boat is perfect if you are really wanting to make your homemade sushi creations "Pop" or if you are just wanting to wow the guests in your sushi bar. Sure, you could use a sushi plate, but a boat can pack an unexpected visual punch to your beautifully made and artfully arranged sushi that people just don't expect. This large sushi boat is nothing short of a great way to impress your dinner guests as you serve your sushi creations or anything else you desire. The presentation of your delicacies will never be the same.

Off To Final Orthopedic Appointment of 2016. Then We Start The Clock All Over Again.

Al Pacino was already an established successful actor, but Scarface helped launch Pfeiffer's and Mastrantonio's careers, both of whom were relatively unknown beforehand, and both went on to individual successes. Entertainment Weekly ranked the film #8 on their list of "The Top 50 Cult Films," and Empire Magazine placed it among the top 500 films of all time, at #284. In 2010, VH1 rated the movie at number 5 in its list of 100 greatest movies of all time. In 2009, Total Film listed it at number 9 on their list of the 30 Greatest Gangster movies. The company set up by former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein to launder money was named Montana Management after Pacino's character.

A Repost From 2008 And Boy, That Was A Big Fucking Tree.

I started off this morning dreaming about Andre The Giant. Not kidding. Andre and Hulk Hogan were running outside of a building, much like the one in the final scene of Commando. Just as they hit the sidewalk, Andre grimaced and slowed suddenly, reaching around and grabbing at his lower back. In my dream, I remember thinking, "Wow this must be how Andre got his bad back, I'm watching it happen." Andre stumbled forward and reached one hand down to support himself on the hood of a cop car. Hulk Hogan came over to see if he was okay. Andre tried to stand up, and then began to fall backwards in slow motion, with a long drawn out slo-mo groan bursting from his lips, "Aaaaarrrrggggghhhh!"

If You Haven't Shopped By Now, You're Pretty Much Fucked.

Hey Cowboys! It's Christmas morning and time to take your brand new RED WRANGLER WESTERN SADDLE CARBINE out into the woods behind your house! Bounce Bbs off trees and rocks for points. Try to get as many bounces as you can with each shot; but remember the score rolles over beyond 9,999,999 points. Press SPACEBAR up to three times to power up your rifle, then click the MOUSE to fire! Remember there buckaroo.... DON'T SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT!

Insert Your Favorite Christmas Weekend Joke Here.

Every Christmas there are two games I always like to feature. The first of course is Don't Shoot Your Eye Out, because hey, who doesn't love A Christmas Story? Seriously, who doesn't love A Christmas Story? Tell me who, and I'll fucking kill them. Anyway, the second is Light Up The Christmas Tree, which while not exactly unique in its premise, is an extremely simple and yet somehow super fucking addictive.

Insert Your Day After Christmas Joke Here.