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New Year New Me. Or What The Fuck Ever.

Everyone seems to be talking about green smoothies, superfood shakes and vegetable juices nowadays. And no wonder; people are discovering all over the world that they help curb unhealthy cravings, boost their immunity and are even a fantastic meal replacement for busy folks on the go. And what is one of the most common ingredients in these “green” superfood concoctions? Kale! Even spinach cannot come close in comparison to the number of nutrients that kale provides. Including kale in your diet provides nutrients that support healthy skin, hair and bones, as well as healthy digestion and a reduced risk of heart disease.

Insert Your Favorite Title Here.

Nemiroff is a Ukrainian producer of alcoholic beverages, specializing in horilkas, vodkas and other spirits, based in the town of Nemyriv in Vinnytska oblast. Nemiroff was one of the top three leaders among international alcohol brands according to vodka sales volumes in 2011.

Yesterday Was My First Entire Day Walking Without A Cane.

Recovering from this ankle break is turning out to be more of a challenge than I ever thought it would be. This is turning out to be a life changing accident. And yes, I've heard about the kid in Chicago. I just want to wait and see what politicians make assholes of themselves.

Synonym: Word Used In Place Of The One You Can't Spell.

Obamacare is projected to cost $1,340,000,000,000 over the next decade -- that's $1.34 TRILLION dollars. Planned Parenthood current gets about $500,000,000 per year in federal money. Kill Obamare, then quadruple the federal funding for Planned Parenthood. Now everyone feels equally butthurt, but for only 1.5% of the current price tag. Ta-da.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Sorry, Air Conditioning Maintenance Was Today.

This is only the second season for the new Dolphins logo, which is about two seasons too many. The new logo is dreadful. If it's not more disliked on South Beach than LeBron James, it should be. Who thought it was a good idea to take the classic Dolphins logo and replace it with a faceless, streamlined dolphin representation that looks like the logo for a failed bank. This new dolphin doesn't even wear a helmet like the throwback logo, which is appalling with this increased focus on player safety. Why not just put a plastic six-pack ring on there too?

The List Of Things I Care Less About Than The Trump-Streep Spat Are Virtually Endless.

Well not endless, I suppose. I mean I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as their spat. Let's see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Democratic National Convention, Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Obama daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everythingj every-everything that exists past present & future, in discovered and undiscovered dimensions! Oh, and Hugh Jackman.

Sold The Grey Scooter Today. My Blue One Is Going To Need Some TLC.

Old and busted: using CPR to save a drowned ground squirrel. The new hotness: using CPR to save a drowned Kookaburra.

Today Was My Last Day of Physical Therapy, Huzzah!

In many parts of California, the official religion is In-N-Out Burger. While the chain has expanded to Las Vegas, Arizona, Texas, and for some reason Utah, it's still very much a California thing. Still, there's some people who somehow have never been and don't know how this works. At most In-N-Outs, you can get tees or free paper hats, but at both the original in Baldwin Park and their company store online, you can also get notepads, folding chairs, windbreakers, and even a woman's bikini.

Mattis Literally Knife Handed Congress Yesterday.

Snyder's of Hanover is an American bakery and snack food distribution company based in Hanover, Pennsylvania, specializing in German traditional pretzels. Snyder's of Hanover traces its roots to a bakery formed in Hanover, PA by Harry Warehime in 1909. In 1950, the company was split into two independent companies: Snyder's of Hanover and Snyder of Berlin. The Hanover Canning Company -- later called Hanover Brands, and now Hanover Foods -- purchased Snyder's of Hanover. Snyder's of Hanover was again spun off as an independent company in 1981. Its products are sold throughout the United States, Canada, many European nations, Asia, and in the Middle East. The bakery offers 25 varieties of traditional pretzels and in addition, pretzel pieces, pretzel sandwiches, chocolate-coated pretzels, organic and gluten-free pretzels, potato chips, and other snack foods.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

This Is Shaping Up To Be A Very Exciting Week.

"Someone's been eating my porridge," growled the Papa bear. "Someone's been eating my porridge," said the Mama bear. "Someone's been eating my porridge and they ate it all up!" cried the Baby bear. "Someone's been sitting in my chair," growled the Papa bear. "Someone's been sitting in my chair," said the Mama bear. "Someone's been sitting in my chair and they've broken it all to pieces," cried the Baby bear. They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom, Papa bear growled, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed," "Someone's been sleeping in my bed, too" said the Mama bear "Someone's been sleeping in my bed and she's still there!" exclaimed Baby bear. Just then, Goldilocks woke up and saw the three bears. She screamed, "Help!" And she jumped up and ran out of the room. Goldilocks ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the forest, and she never returned to the home of the three bears.

Okay, So We've Got Metric Shit Ton Of Photo Challenges To Catch Up On.

Started in 1947 as a small metalworking shop that made metal water coolers for blue collar workers, Igloo Products is now a leading ice chest and beverage dispenser manufacturer, perhaps known best for its Playmate brand. The company's first all-plastic ice chest was introduced in 1962. Igloo makes the coolers for personal and industrial use and claims that nearly three in every four US households owns an Igloo cooler. The company's more than 500 products -- including full-size, beverage, and personal coolers -- are sold through more than 250 retailers in the US and abroad.

The Plot Thickens: Infected Hardware.

Smooth-top electric ranges are popular options with those homeowners seeking to increase their counter space and hoping to have an easier job cleaning their range. Smooth glass or ceramic ranges do have their advantages, but they are not without their share of problems. Smooth-top electric ranges typically remain hot for long time after they are shut off. This can cause problems for homeowners that are used to the relatively rapid-cooling nature of traditional electric and gas ranges. They can also be damaged by falling pots and pans and are costly to have repaired. While they are easier to clean, they cannot be scrubbed using an abrasive cleaner, and specialized cleaners are typically recommended by the manufacturer.

And Finally, We Are All Caught Up To Date.

The Little Mermaid is a 1989 American animated musical fantasy film produced by Walt Disney Feature Animation and released by Walt Disney Pictures. Based on the Danish fairy tale of the same name by Hans Christian Andersen, The Little Mermaid tells the story of Ariel, a beautiful red haired mermaid princess, is dissatisfied with underwater life in the kingdom of Atlantica and is curious about the human world. It is the 28th Disney animated feature film, The Little Mermaid was released to theaters on November 17, 1989 to largely positive reviews, garnering $84 million at the domestic box office during its initial release, and $211 million in total lifetime gross worldwide.

I'm Glad This Fucking Experiment Is Finally Coming To A Close.

I think most of you realize by now that wholly regret voting for Obama back in 2008; a mistake that I rectified in this recent wlection. I can give you lots of reasons -- not the least of which is the thought of Sarah Palin sitting in the jump seat, what're you fucking nuts -- but in reality that can all be boiled down to I fell for Obama's line of bullshit. Speaking strictly for myself, I am most certainly NOT better off than I was eight years ago. Amongst a slew of other things, I have seen my healthcare premiums and co-pays double, and my deductibles and annual max out of pocket triple. And don't even get me started on the monumental push for gun control: the 7N6 ammunition import ban, the proposed M885 ammunition ban, the slew of Russian gun manufacturers given the short end of an unnecessary sanctions, the 260,000 veterans who had their Second Amendment rights stripped away without due process, the old folks on Social Security who faced the same, gun stores and manufacturers having their financial accounts terminated thanks to Operation Choke Point, a "mistaken" attempt to drive gunsmiths out of business, and the list goes on and on.

Insert Your Favorite Inauguration Weekend Joke Here.

This Is My First Post In Fourteen And A Half Years Without A Dog Named Ike By My Side.

March 2009 - Some of you might remember my story about Peepers and Crackers from a couple of years ago. Well, undaunted by her past failure, momma duck brought along eight new duckings at the tail end of 2008 and me being the big pussy that I am, have kind of adopted the bunch. I'm happy to say all eight survived this year and most of which have flown off to make little Muscovy families of their own. One female duck has hung around although that isn't by her choice, as her right wing was injured as a duckling and because it didn't heal correctly it; just sort of drags along on the ground. I don't know if it was the result of a run in with a turtle, a car, or maybe another animal, but the injury ultimately robbed her of the ability to fly. Not that she knows it; she flaps her wings with the best of em, she just can't get off the ground. But no worry, because Lefty will always have a warm bed to sleep in as long as I'm around.

Just A Boy And His Dog.

My decision to get a dog was a long time coming and to be honest, almost didn't happen. This was circa, eh, 1998 maybe 1999 or so; I was still working at FCP Technologies in Waltham so 1998 is probably the better guess. I was casually talking to a co-worker about how I've had dogs all my life growing up and I'd like to adopt a dog some time, but right now my schedule just didn't allow for it. I worked the 10a-7p shift, so I'd sleep late, work, then go out and party a bit, go home and go to bed... lather, rinse, repeat. Besides even if I did stay home more often after getting a dog, 9 hours in the office plus a 45 minute commute each way means I'd be out of the hours for 10-11 hours each workday. It just wouldn't be fair to the dog. Another co-worker -- her name was Nancy Letourneau -- jumped into the conversation and asked, "even if that were true, which it's not, where do you think a shelter dog would rather spend those hours waiting? In the comfort of your condo, sleeping on their own bed, or in a shelter in a cage with dozens of other homeless animals?" I considered Nancy's contribution and immediately knew she was right. But I didn't do anything about it. I didn't act on that new information. I just kind of filed it away for a later date, I guess.