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Jury Duty Part XIV: Until Next Time Take Care of Yourself. And Each Other.

Okay, one little tidbit about the closing arguments I forgot to mention. And as a precursor, I remember watching a television show once -- I think it was Boston Legal and I think it was Denny Crane who said this -- but while counseling a younger attorney he offers the following advice. "I want you to object to everything the opposing counsel says. I don't care what they say, I don't care why you object, I don't care if the judge overrules every objection. I just want to you throw them off their game and don't let them get into a rhythm." And that is exactly what Unpronounceablename did to Peter Griffin throughout his entire closing argument. Which side note, I didn't know you could object during a closing argument, but anyway. Unpronounceablename was objecting as he was just walking up to the microphone. That poor fucker couldn't even purse his lips together to start speaking and Unpronounceablename was objecting for one reason or another. Some were sustained and some were overruled, but after the third or fourth objection, you could see the frustration in Peter Griffin's face. I don't know if that was her plan or not, but it was certainly the effect. It was actually kind of brutal.

Respect The Classics Man.

Alfonso John Romero is an American director, designer, programmer, and developer in the video game industry. He is best known as a co-founder of id Software and designer for many of their games, including Wolfenstein 3D, Dangerous Dave, Hexen, Doom and Quake. His game designs and development tools, along with new programming techniques created and implemented by id Software's lead programmer John D. Carmack, led to a mass popularization of the first person shooter, or FPS, in the 1990s. John Romero is credited with coining the FPS multiplayer term "deathmatch", and just recently released his first new Doom level in 21 years. You'll want to pay attention to what emulators you have to use, specifically zDoom or Crispy Doom. But if you dont want to go through that much trouble, and would instead like to live vicariously through the exploits of others, here's a video of someone completing the level. And let me tell you kids, it's fucking hard.

You're Going To Feel A Little Pressure Day Plus Five.

Chief Seattle was a leader of the Suquamish and Duwamish Native American tribes in what is now the state of Washington. A prominent figure among his people, he pursued a path of accommodation to white settlers, forming a personal relationship with "Doc" Maynard. In a letter in which Seattle pleaded that his name should die with the ceding of the Washington State territories, Seattle was puporteddly to have writtem, "Let him be just and deal kindly with my people, for the dead are not powerless. Dead, did I say? There is no death, only change of worlds." Unfortunately for that girl, this letter was later proven to have been a forgery, devised by television scriptwriter Ted Perry for a historical epic in 1971.

Seven Months Away And This Election Is Already Fucked.

Boy, do I have a photo challenge for you. So much so, that it's the ONLY challenge I'm going to issue today. Your goal is to show me where this Whirlpool refigerator is located. At first I had hoped the t-shirt would yield some clues, but unfortunately "Slave to Grave" is just an old 1990's slogan from Alien Workshop, so I don't think that's going to be any help. Instead, the large sign on the building in the background is going help narrow down a city, while a few clues from a close up of the refrigerator should get you into the right country. And if you'd like, you can view the original full size photo (3264x2448) here.

Well, I Almost Forgot To Give This Post A Title.

The Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary was the first advanced learner's dictionary of English. It was first published 68 years ago. It is the largest English-language dictionary from Oxford University Press aimed at a non-native audience. Users with a more linguistic interest, requiring etymologies or copious references, usually prefer the Concise Oxford English Dictionary, or indeed the magnum opus, the Oxford English Dictionary, or other dictionaries aimed at speakers of English with native-level competence. There are explanations of common symbols (e.g. @), which are not included in any major competitor, and notes on interesting word origins. The Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary is easy to use, with a rapid-access page design, shortcuts to the right meaning in long entries, and easy definitions using a carefully chosen defining vocabulary of 3,000 words.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

The Halftime Show Sucked, But Gaga Has Some Pipes, Yes?

Dry membranes, cracked lips and dry skin are some of the problems caused by dry air. This condition is worse in the bedroom because it causes uncomfortable, sleepless nights. You can use a humidifier to increase the condition of your room; however, this will take up more space in your room and increase your electricity bill. Fortunately, there are several ways to humidify the room without using a humidifier. A radiator heat in your room is an effective way to improve the moisture content in your room. It works when you place a pot or water container near the source of your radiator heat for the water to evaporate; this becomes humidity and thus moistens the air. You can also place a pan containing water directly on the radiator. Note that you do not have to place the dish of water directly on the heat for the evaporation to occur.

There Goes California, Leading The Charge To Fuck Things Up For Everybody.

The music, lyrics and laid back island attitude of Jimmy Buffett comes to life at this popular Orlando restaurant, Margaritaville. The main dining room was inspired by one of Jimmy Buffett's favorite South Florida waterfront concerts, and its three bars — The Volcano Bar, Land Shark Bar, and 12 Volt Bar — were themed around Jimmy Buffett songs. There's outdoor seating available on the Porch of Indecision, featuring a live guitarist to sing along with every night. Or you can just relax in colorful Adirondack chairs outside the restaurant and watch the world go by. Right next to Margaritaville is the Lone Palm Airport, featuring Jimmy Buffett's very own seaplane, the Hemisphere Dancer. This outdoor lounge and tiki bar serves a variety of drinks and quick eats under the wing of the plane, along with the "Parakeet Beach" area for the little ones to play in. And there's something for every Parrothead in the Smuggler's Hold merchandise store. In addition to caps, shirts, shorts, sandals and other apparel perfect for the beach or any occasion, you'll find beach bags, flags, posters, magnets, decals and stickers, signs and wall hangings.

Hump Day Doesn't Feel So Hump Worthy Anymore.

KangaROOS are an American brand of sneaker originally produced from 1979 through the 1980s, with a later revival that continues in present. They were notable for having a small zippered pocket on the side of the shoe, large enough for a small amount of loose change, keys, etc. He designed the sneakers for his own personal use as a place to store his keys and money, then marketed them effectively. His marketing design was successful, leading to sales in excess of 700,000 pairs a month by the early 1980s. By the end of the 1980s, the popularity of the sneakers was on the decline, executives departed the company and KangaROOS were quietly withdrawn from the market. However, nostalgia, combined with an appreciation both of the shoe's athletic design and its ubiquitous pocket, led to a reappearance of the shoe in the late 1990s. Today, KangaROOS are still sold in over sixty countries worldwide.

If Youre Looking For Fuck All, You've Found The Right Place.

I like Bernie Sanders as a person. I really do. I think he's an all around good guy, he's (comparatively speaking) honest for a politician, he doesn't sling mud like the others do, and he genuinely wants to make life better for the voters of Vermont and the American people. And if there were a Nice Guy competition, he'd get my vote hands down. Unfortunately Bernie Sanders doesn't know fuck all about the economy. And the most frustrating part about Bernie Sanders not knowing fuck all about the economy is, it is impossible to convince a Bernie Sanders supporter that Bernie Sanders doesn't know fuck all about the economy. Because in order to support Bernie Sanders' economic policies, you have to not know fuck all about the economy to begin with. So with the next Presidential election coming up, which way do you prefer? Frank Underwood's way or the Purge's way?

We're At A Point Where I'm Starting To Look Forward To Weekends Again.

You know, it's surprisingly challenging to find out who this 800 number belongs to.

Insert Your Favorite Valentine's Day Weekend Joke Here. Yeah, Seriously, Tomorrow Is The Day. Go Shop.

Hard To Believe We're Halfway Through February Already.

European Formula shampoos and conditioners are enriched with Soy proteins that improve manageability, body and shine. The formulas contain UV filters that help protect hair from damage and breakage caused by the sun. As a result hair is left soft, moisturized and radiant looking. Invent and re-invent your style with European Formula hair care products.

Examination Under Anesthesia.

"Being a healthy white male nearing 30, I didn't think about my asshole too much until recently. It's an oft neglected part of the body; wiped and washed when needed but otherwise left alone. Thing for me changed significantly over the last 3 weeks, and I've learned to never again ignore it. You see, about two years ago, I was diagnosed with IBS, or Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I had been experiencing incredible cramping sensations, the rectal/colon equivalent of dry-heaves, in the mornings when I awoke. It would often take hours for them to end. Doctors told me it was diet related, and that made sense. I had lived the previous 8 years on a diet solely consisting of red meat, imported beer, and the occasional starch with wine. This had been the problem, and a change was the solution. I was prescribed some Levbid anti-spasmodic drugs, told to eat right, and sent on my way. If only had that been the end...

There Is So Much Hypocrisy Running Around Washington DC, It's A Wonder They Don't Drown In it.

Kitchen backsplashes no longer simply protect walls from spills and splatters, a wide array of eye-catching materials like glass, wood, metals and stone make the backsplash the focal point of today's kitchens. From traditional tile to trendy glass — and shiny metal to rustic wood — there is seemingly no end of choices for kitchen backsplashes today. "Tile is still the most popular backsplash material, with natural stone a fast-growing second," says John Morgan, 2013 National President of the National Kitchen and Bath Association.

I Find Human Contact Repulsive.

Clyde Bellecourt is a White Earth Ojibwe civil rights organizer noted for co-founding the American Indian Movement in 1968 with Dennis Banks, Herb Powless, and Eddie Benton Banai, among others. His older brother, the late Vernon Bellecourt, was also active. Clyde was the seventh of twelve children born to his parents on the White Earth Indian Reservation in northern Minnesota. His Ojibwe name is Nee-gon-we-way-we-dun which means "Thunder Before the Storm." And good Christ, I'm glad I'm not the only person who thinks Bernie Sanders sounds exactly like Larry David.

Big Red Has A New Battery And a Full Tank Of Gas. Also, Its Value Just Doubled.

Passoa is a passion fruit liqueur made in France, with mango being one of the main ingredients, but also comes in pineapple, and coconut flavors. It is red colored and has an alcohol volume of 15 to 17% depending on the country. Passoa has been a best-selling liqueur in several national markets including Holland and Belgium.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Just Like Julie Bowen, I'm Cleaning Out My Junk Drawer.

As I've previously mentioned before with photo challenges, I really try to stick to good quality images; it's ascertain important clues, and they're simply better quality material. Whenever I find low quality images that I'd like to use -- and by low quality I don't mean the person in the photo, but the image itself might be blurry or grainy -- I always stick them into a junk folder to see if I can find higher resolution versions later on. Sometimes I'm successful and sometimes I'm not. So take a a sneak peak into some of my unsucessful junk pictures and see what you can do: what building is across from this short brick wall? An apartment building? A movie theater, perhaps? And where is this Burger King that was visited on such a cloudy day. And if you're not into burgers, perhaps you can find this pizza parlor on Pacific Avenue? And of course we can wash those burgers and pizza down with a trip to a tavern, although with the bars on the windows, maybe it's not a very nice neighborhood.

What's The Matter, A Bog-Jumper Got Your Tongue?

I'm back from a crazy eight weeks at Kos, the Greek Island. Full of sex, sun, sea, and STD's. May I just add that the Greeks, are fucking lunitics. Beating the shit out of two girls for looking the wrong way, breaking the back of another girl with a moter bike, for standing in the way, and rape, being part of their culture, are just some of the beautiful features you can enjoy, in sunny, 'scarface' Kos. Fucked up! Anyway it was around 5:30am, myself and my girlfriend and my two mates are walking back to our apartment, after drinking Bar Street dry, Irish style. I have literally drunk enough alcohol to tranquilize a herd of elephants. I'm the walking dead at this stage. I dont even think the four of us talked in that walk, which for my part can only be described as, a floating experience. All I wanted to do was get one of those big ass, BSE riddlied rat burgers, in a place that should have been called The Last Supper. Never look inside a burger bun in a place you think is a shit hole, if you wanna eat it, without puking. Just close your eyes and think of a whooper BK style. I once decided to think of this girls pussy, but when juice from the burger started squirting in my mouth, and a lump slide down my throught I vomited on a little girl standing under me.

Man This Weekend Can't Get Here Fast Enough. And It's Only Fucking Wednesday.

And I know this one will produce a few groans at first, because of how Germany is with privacy and Google Streetview, but since this is taken in a commercial area, odds are you should be able to show me where DHL is making a delivery. Oh, and an addendum to yesterday's DOOM post: when you preorder the game for Xbox One, they will include free copies of Doom I and Doom II so you can kick it old school.

I Keep Forgetting To Change The Fucking Title.

Candie's was founded in 1981 with the now famous sexy, high-heeled wood bottom slide, called the “Candie”. y the mid 1980's, sales of Candie's slides soared to 14 million pairs. One out of every four women in America owned a pair of Candie's. When you say the name Candie's, an image will pop into your mind. It may be your first pair of Candie's or your favorite Candie's ad. Candie's is pop culture and always has the “It” girl for its national ad spokesperson. With a purely inventive approach to color, shape and finish, Candies Eyewear is young and spirited with range of hues beyond the norm. Shapes are fun and feminine with details that draw attention to the eyes. The Candie's brand is worn by numerous celebrities and has been featured in TV and movies.

This Has Been The Longest Week Of The Year So Far.

Walk down the aisle of a grocery store and you'll see a plethora of bottled water on the shelves. Amidst generic brands and bottles emblazoned with mountains and tranquil scenes are sleek plastic vessels simply labeled "smartwater." The tagline "H20 with a 4.0" is on the inside of the bottle, though smartwater doesn't make any claims on its bottle that Smartwater improves mental function in any way.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Insert Your Favorite Leap Year Joke Here.

If you plan on hosting a Leap Year party,

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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