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Holy Shit, It's May Already.

A kitchenette is a small cooking area, which usually has a fridge and a microwave, but may have other appliances. In some motel and hotel rooms, small apartments, college dormitories, or office buildings, a kitchenette usually consists of a small refrigerator, a microwave oven or hotplate, and, less frequently, a sink. New York City building code defines a kitchenette as a kitchen of less than 80 sq/ft of floor space. Kitchenettes are a common feature in hotel and motel guest rooms and often contain a coffeemaker, a bar refrigerator, commonly called a mini-bar. Some hotel kitchenettes have provisioned refrigerators that have an interior sensor feature used by management to monitor guest use of the refrigerator's contents and thus charge for the consumables, which typically include pop, beer and liquor.

Well, Shit.

The Kwik-E-Martis a fictional convenience store in the animated television series The Simpsons. It is a parody of American convenience stores, such as 7-Eleven and Wawa Inc., and depicts many of the stereotypes about them. It is notorious for its high prices and the poor quality of its merchandise. The operator of the Springfield store is an Indian-American named Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. It was first seen in the episode "The Telltale Head" and has since become a common setting in The Simpsons. In July 2007, eleven 7-Eleven locations in the United States and one in Canada were transformed into Kwik-E-Marts as part of a special promotion for The Simpsons Movie. Also in 2007, gift shops modeled after the "Kwik-E-Marts" were opened in Universal Studios Florida and Universal Studios Hollywood, where they are a companion to "The Simpsons Ride".

I Think Today May Mark The End Of An Era.

A tan line is a visually clear division on the human skin between an area of pronounced comparative paleness relative to other areas that have been suntanned by exposure to ultraviolet radiation. The source of the radiation may be the sun, or artificial UV sources such as tanning lamps. Tan lines are usually an inadvertent result of a work environment or of recreational activities, but are sometimes intentional. Many people regard visible tan lines as un-aesthetic, and seek to avoid tan lines that will be visible when regular clothes are worn.

Ode To Big Red.

The last time I wrote about Big Red was almost two years ago almost to the day and for what will be the second time in five months, it seems I'm saying goodbye to another cornerstone of my adult life.

Sigh. My Driveway Looks Uncharacteristically Empty.

Tourism is one of San Francisco's largest private-sector industries, accounting for more than one out of seven jobs in the city. The city's frequent portrayal in music, film, and popular culture has made the city and its landmarks recognizable worldwide. It attracts the fifth-highest number of foreign tourists of any city in the United States and is one of the 100 most visited cities worldwide. More than 18 million visitors arrived in San Francisco in 2014, injecting $10.67 billion into the economy. With a large hotel infrastructure and a world-class convention facility in the Moscone Center, San Francisco is a popular destination for annual conventions and conferences.

Insert Your Favorite Yeah I Know I'm A Day Late Here.

this is for the gz, and this is for the hustlaz.

A drawstring is a string, cord, lace, or rope used to "draw" fabric or other material. The ends of the drawstring may be tied to hold it in place, or close an opening. Alternately, the drawstring may be kept drawn using a cordlock. Typically, the drawstring is loose when not being used, and tightened when needed during use. A drawstring may be threaded through a hem or casing or laced through holes, which may be lined with eyelets. It may also be laced through loops attached to the material, in the same way that belt loops are. A very wide, flat drawstring becomes a belt.

Anyone Who Has Ever Been On An MRE Diet Knows This Story.

"On my 1st deployment to Iraq, my camp was basically a glorified truck stop for convoys & helicopters passing through. Since we didn't have a real kitchen because the camp was so small we had to depend on food trucked in from a larger base in the area. If there were too many bombs on the road to our camp we wouldn't get the food and we would just be stuck with MRE's (Meals Ready to Eat). For most people I know, eating too many MRE's tend to have adverse affects on pooping patterns. For me, too many meant I should expect some constipation. Then, when I would switch back to regular food, the flood gates would open.

Lots Of Renovations In Ernie's House of Whoopass. The Brick and Mortar One, Not This One.

CSI: NY is an American police procedural television series that ran on CBS from September 2004 to February 2013, for a total of nine seasons and 197 original episodes. The show follows the investigations of a team of NYPD forensic scientists and police officers identified as "Crime Scene Investigators" as they unveil the circumstances behind mysterious and unusual deaths, as well as other crimes. The series is an indirect spin-off from the veteran series CSI: Crime Scene Investigation and a direct spin-off from CSI: Miami, during an episode in which several of the CSI: NY characters made their first appearances. It is the third series in the CSI franchise.

OMG! OMG! OMG! THEY WEREN'T CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES AFTER ALL! ZOMG! ZOMGZZZ!

A plank is timber that is flat, elongated, and rectangular with parallel faces that are higher and longer than wide. Used primarily in carpentry, planks are critical in the construction of ships, houses, bridges, and many other structures. Planks also serve as supports to form shelves and tables. Planks are often used as a work surface on elevated scaffolding, and need to be wide enough to provide strength without breaking when walked on. The plank was the basis of maritime transport: wood floats on water, and abundant forests meant wooden logs could be easily obtained and processed, making planks the primary material in ship and dock building. However, since the 20th century, wood has largely been supplanted in ship construction by iron and steel, to decrease cost and improve durability.

Day Two of the Case Del Ernie Rework: The Pouring.

Three huge ass Royal Palms in the front of my house have been wreaking fucking havor on the sidewalk and the very corners of the driveway. After spending the last few years watching the damage slowly progressfrom simple cracks to inch-and-a-half heaves I figured it was finally time to have something done about it.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Belay My Last, Looks Like Today Is The Pour Day.

Better late than never, I suppose.

If I Had A Blacklight, This Would Look Like A Jackson Pollock Painting.

"About eight weeks ago, my fiancee returned from a month long trip to Europe. I was missing her like crazy, not just for the sex, but also because of the sex. I had decided to propose while in her absence, buying the ring and whatnot. She came back, I proposed nonchalantly at home (we've lived together for the past four years, so we are basically married already) and we hugged in joy with our cat and dog. So, ready to face our five-star life of the future, we start caressing and mildly engaging in some nice foreplay. However, kitchen stuff needed to be finished, so we paused and finished tidying up the house. While I was finishing the dish-cleaning, she ran upstairs to get a shower. She whispered in my ear to join her in a few minutes.

Some Concrete Cutting, Some Skim Coating, A Few Screws and They're Fucking Out Of Here.

The hibiscus is the national flower of Haiti and is used in their national tourism slogan of Haïti: Experience It! The hibiscus species also represents several other nations. The Hibiscus syriacus is the national flower of South Korea, and Hibiscus rosa-sinensis is the national flower of Malaysia. The red hibiscus is the flower of the Hindu goddess Kali, and appears frequently in depictions of her in the art of Bengal, India, often with the goddess and the flower merging in form. The red hibiscus is used as an offering to goddess Kali and Lord Ganesha in Hindu worship.

Wow, This Week Is Being Exceptionally Hard On 90s Icons.

The Penderwicks: A Summer Tale of Four Sisters, Two Rabbits, and a Very Interesting Boy is a children's novel by Jeanne Birdsall, published by Knopf in 2005. It won the annual U.S. National Book Award for Young People's Literature. This was Birdsall's first book published and it inaugurated the "Penderwick sisters" series, whose fourth volume was published in 2015. Both A Summer Tale and its sequel The Penderwicks on Gardam Street were New York Times Best Sellers.

Cadillacs, Cats, and Soviet Sumbmarines and Shit.

So I just read that Pippa Middelton is getting married this weekend, and anytime anyone mentions her name all I can think of is this scene from Heat.

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

I Want To Get To Key West And Away From It All. - Ernest Hemingway

Have you ever wondered why wind turbines have three narrow blades, but ceiling and box fans have five wide blades? The differences between wind turbine and ceiling fan blades arise from the contrasting design criteria: the wind turbine is intended to capture high-velocity wind to generate electricity efficiently; the ceiling fan needs to move air at low velocity with inexpensive components. To keep drivetrain costs low, a wind turbine must capture the energy in fast-moving air and rotate at relatively high speed—within limits, so as to avoid excessive noise generation. The box fan, on the other hand, is built to keep the occupants of a room comfortable by moving air gently. Its engineers work to minimize noise while the multiple fan blades rotate at low speed and to keep the construction costs, and therefore the purchase price, low.

Shit I Have To Track Down More Tasteless Stories.

The Folsom Street Fair is an annual BDSM and leather subculture street fair held in September, that caps San Francisco's "Leather Pride Week". Sometimes simply referred to as "Folsom", takes place on Folsom Street between 8th and 13th Streets, in San Francisco's South of Market district. It has grown as a non-profit charity, and local and national non-profits benefit with all donations at the gates going to charity groups as well as numerous fundraising schemes within the festival including games, beverage booths and even spanking for donations to capitalize on the adult-themed exhibitionism. The event started in 1984 and is California's third-largest single-day, outdoor spectator event and the world's largest leather event and showcase for BDSM products and culture.

For Someone Who Hates America, Ariana Grande Seems To Have No Problem Hauling Her Ragged Ass Back Here To Safety.

A loading dock or loading bay is an area of a building where goods vehicles are loaded and unloaded. They are commonly found on commercial and industrial buildings, and warehouses in particular. Loading docks may be exterior, flush with the building envelope, or fully enclosed. They are part of a facility's service or utility infrastructure, typically providing direct access to staging areas, storage rooms, and freight elevators. In different parts of the world, a section of a public or private road may be allocated for loading goods or persons, at specific or at all times. There are parking signs and/or road markings to warn motorists of parking regulations. These areas are known as loading zones or loading bays in many jurisdictions. They are generally monitored by parking inspectors, and vehicles found to be violating the rules can be towed or fined.

When All Else Fails, Just Play Dumb And Let Someone Else Fill In The Blanks.

Harley Quinn is a fictional supervillain appearing in American comic books published by DC Comics. The character was created by Paul Dini and Bruce Timm, and first appeared in Batman: The Animated Series in September 1992. In September 2013, DC Comics announced a contest for fans and artists, "Break into comics with Harley Quinn!", in which contestants were to draw Harley in four different suicide scenarios. This contest drew controversy not only because it was announced close to National Suicide Prevention Week, but because some artists did not like the sexualized portrayal of Harley in the fourth scenario, in which Harley attempts suicide while naked in her bath tub.