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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
September 30, 2016

Well, At Least The Weekend Is Here. And I Can Stand For 20 Seconds At A Time. So There's That.

For a desert state, Arizona sure has lots of fine swimming holes. So when Summer hits in Arizona and you can fry an egg on the sidewalk, it's time to throw on a swimsuit, pack up a picnic lunch, load up the car with the kids and head to some of the best swimming holes in Arizona. Tucked here and there near mountain springs and along tributaries of rivers, these natural spas are popular with hikers, picnickers and just about anyone who enjoys soaking al fresco. Some you can practically drive to, others require a short walk or a bit of a scramble. A few can only be reached after a long, hard hike. Just remember that you're not the only person who wants to cool off. You can expect a crowd at any of these spots on any summer weekend, so plan accordingly.

Suffering or witnessing the separation of a limb from a body is horrible to even think about. In such a scenario, emphasis must be placed on taking care of the injured person. Call an ambulance immediately if you or someone in your vicinity has suffered the loss of a limb. While it is sometimes possible to reattach a severed limb, many factors can make reattachment impossible. Still, the chances of a successful reattachment are high enough that you should preserve a severed limb after ensuring the safety of the injured person. So I have a question for all of you Emergency Room people. Just how much extra time can you buy a severed limb by hooking it up to IV fluids? Seriously, fascinating concept.

This run of Italian made Beretta CX4 carbines was evidently produced for a foreign military or police contract, then imported into the US not by Beretta, but by PW Arms. They come with an owners manual but the owners manual is printed in a foreign language, maybe Russian? Note the comment about extended barrel length... the barrel on these us approximately 1.8" longer than traditionally produced CX4 Storm Carbines -- great for a supressor -- and they use Beretta 92 magazines. I still think the CZ Scorpion looks cooler, but I still love my two CX4s. Plus at $0.14 per round, they're less expensive than any other defensive caliber to practice with.

Here's your first pitch, and it's a tee ball: identify the coke whore's taste in music.

If you want to lock up your bicycle next to these, you need to head down to the corner of Passatge de la Pau & carrer Sils in Barcelona, Spain. Rick

Ernie says: Good find, I couldn't nail that one down.

The "stupid criminal" story has long been a staple of local crime reporting, late-night talk shows, and comedy-news programs such as NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! And now, the magic of social networking is giving ne'er-do-wells a new venue to thwart themselves, often in front of large audiences. People arrested for dumb social media posts kind of had it coming to them. From the teens who jokingly threaten lives on Twitter to those who took to Facebook to organize full-scale riots, all of these people have one thing in common: each were arrested for a common-sense-bending social media post. On Wednesday, two Chicago area felons were charged after one of them posted a Facebook Live video of himself shooting a gun at a north suburban shooting range. Both men were charged with aggravated unlawful use of a weapon by a felon, a Class 2 felony, police said.

Here's your second pitch, and it's a slow lob: show me where to get some intercourse.

Long time listener, first time caller. The creepy little boy statue is in Budapest. Street view sucks, but close enough. Corey

This was a little harder than it first appears. It seems they have update the facade of the building since the picture of the girl was taken. Here is a closeup of the building. The sign over her right boob, er, shoulder is the one seen here. Here is the statue. It looks as though the last time google made a pass down Kigyo Street they were remodeling the shops and street there. Anywho...Pretty sure this is the statue in question... Thanks - Brandon

Today's FRIDAY FLICK: "Before they died, my parents told me stories about how the world once was; what it was like long before I was born; before the war with the machines. They remembered a green world, vast and beautiful, filled with laughter and hope for the future. It's a world I never knew. By the time I was born, all this was gone. Skynet, a computer program designed to automate missile defense. It was supposed to protect us, but that's not what happened. August 29th, 1997, Skynet woke up. It decided all of humanity was a threat to its existence. It used our own bombs against us. Three billion people died of nuclear fire." That's right, motherfuckers, it's Terminator:Genesys. Added bonus, at 0:55 the Transamerica Pyramid gets nuked.

And here's your final pitch, and it's a dirty, nasty slider: find this lovely riverside park.

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September 29, 2016

Check Out The Big Brain On Josh.

Garfield is an American comic strip created by Jim Davis. Published since 1978, it chronicles the life of the title character, the cat Garfield, Jon, his owner, and Jon's dog, Odie. As of 2013, it was syndicated in roughly 2,580 newspapers and journals, and held the Guinness World Record for being the world's most widely syndicated comic strip. The strip's focus is mostly on the interactions among Garfield, Jon, and Odie, but other recurring minor characters appear as well. Originally created with the intentions to "come up with a good, marketable character", Garfield has spawned merchandise earning $750 million to $1 billion annually. In addition to the various merchandise and commercial tie-ins, the strip has spawned several animated television specials, two animated television series, two theatrical feature-length live-action/CGI animated films and three fully CGI animated direct-to-video movies.

Because most of the footage relating to World War II is black and white, it's easy to allow ourselves the illusion that these kinds of atrocities happened so long ago, they're forever lost to the history books. But they're not. Many of us have grandparents who lived through World Wwar II. And there are a dwindling numbers of veterans who endured and witnessed this kind of horror first hand. The world has come a long way since these men took to arms, and when they are all gone I fear there will be nothing but some old black and white photos to remind us of what people and governments are capable of Speaking of governent, free college? Pfft! Watch this liberal gets absolutely destroyed by a businessman who actually understands economics. It's almost like watching a Millenial greeting card come to life, "Human capital is never a waste of money," LOLOLOLOL. "No degree is worthless." LOLOLOLOL

I would have to imagine it wouldn't give you too much trouble, to track own what shop is celebrating their 31st anniversary this year, mmkay?

Ernie, If you dislike having to disassemble and reassemble the Mk III every time you shoot it, you need to get a Speed Strip Kit for it. Remove one allen head screw from the top and the bolt comes right out. Then you only need to remove the barrel from the frame about every 1000 rounds or so. Much much easier. Also, the Lego set is available from Target. Thanks and keep up the great work! Josh

Hi Ernie. You can get the Lego City Police City on Amazon for 65 bucks. Regards, Eric R.

There are a lot of great reasons to enter writing contests. First and foremost, there is the possibility of winning one. That's a mighty fine feeling. Then too there is the cash reward. No need to remind you, dear hardworking writer, how splendid is the cash reward. So if you were to enter the world's greatest love story contest, how would you go about doing so?

Hey remember the complete AR-15 rifles shipped to your FFL for $434? Well, they're down to $430 now, and that's a deal too good to pass up so I bought two of them -- which you must do as a cash buy (money order, check, or e-check) if you want the cash price discount. They've also got Mosin Nagants for $209, too if you want to get a little vintage on.

Hi Ernie, Hope your ankle is better by now; I've had my fair share of limbs in cast and it sure isn't any fun. I thought I'd share this with you: Today, a F-104 Starfighter flew again for the first time in 33 years. It has been restored by a group of retired mechanichs and other volunteers in Bodø, Norway, which used to be a home base for these birds. The work took them 13 years, but shortly after 5pm today it was back in the air. The story in English is this link, and a video of the take-off today, although the subtitles are in Norwegian: Have a great day! -T

Ernie, I thought you might be interested in this GovDeals auction of a Thompson Machine gun. It will be a sweet addition for someone's collection. Jeff

Having meen manufacturered before 1986, That Thompson is civilian transferrable, too. You guys should totally put a GoFundMe together and buy it for my Christmas gift. And much to my surprise -- althought perhaps you figured it'd be too easy to actually do -- no one has claimed the statue of the little boy yet.

Pantene is a brand of hair care products owned by Procter & Gamble. The product line was first introduced in Europe in 1945 by Hoffmann-La Roche of Switzerland, which branded the name based on panthenol as a shampoo ingredient. It was purchased by Procter & Gamble in 1985 in order for P&G to compete in the "beauty product" market rather than only functional products. The brand's best-known product became the 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioning formula, Pantene Pro-V (Pantene Pro-Vitamin). The product became most noted due to an advertising campaign in the late 1980s in which fashion models said, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." Kelly Le Brock and Iman gained notoriety as the first television spokeswomen to speak the line. The line was criticized by feminists and became a pop-culture catchphrase for "annoying" narcissistic behavior.

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September 28, 2016

Good. Let The 9/11 Victim's Families Sue The Fucking Shit Out Of Saudi Arabia.

The tangram is a dissection puzzle consisting of seven flat shapes, called tans, which are put together to form shapes. The objective of the puzzle is to form a specific shape using all seven pieces, which may not overlap. It is reputed to have been invented in China during the Song Dynasty, and then carried over to Europe by trading ships in the early 19th century. It became very popular in Europe for a time then, and then again during World War I. It is one of the most popular dissection puzzles in the world. A Chinese psychologist has termed the tangram "the earliest psychological test in the world", albeit one made for entertainment rather than for analysis. Tangram Master is another form of competitive tangrams, but is designed for four players and includes four very nice wooden sets of tans. Players compete simultaneously to be the first to solve the selected tangram.

For the majority of celebrities, they were merely ordinary people just like you and me during their younger days. Contrary to how they present themselves today, they also had their moments of insecurities and awkwardness from when they were in school and these high school prom photos prove just that. In other words, sweet mullet, Brad Pitt!

Putting a weed barrier down under a gravel planter can significantly lower the amount of weeds that you have to deal with each year. While it may not be a completely foolproof option, it will make things easier on you later. To begin, remove the top layer of soil or rocks from the planting area. You need to make sure that there is no organic matter under where the driveway will be located, so remove any sticks, roots, grass, or other plants that are there. At this point, you need to lay a weed barrier down your compacted dirt. Some people prefer using a geotextile fabric while others like using traditional landscaping fabric. Once you have the weed fabric on the ground, you need to cover it back up with gravel. There are several different types that you can use, so what you use is simply a matter of personal preference.

Sure, yesterday I tell you about the new Ruger Mark IV, but I forget to tell you where to buy them and holy shit, the Hunter jumped up to over $750, and that's with laminate grips, not cocobolo! Kind of makes my Mark III Slab Side look like a bargain.

Hi Ernie, Please could you feature this infographic about the ultimate superhero cleaning crew? Best Regards, Dave

Re; the goofy bitch in the USN uniform who chose poorly. As a long time supporter of LBEH I'm proud to scribble this missive. I spent 18 years working with the Navy. 18 good years, mostly with the bubbleheads of Squadron 11. Some North Island, Amphib base, ASW base, and 32nd Street work as well. I work on Camp Pendleton now. This morning I had business at the Naval Hospital, at 0800 the colors were raised and the national anthem was played. All traffic stopped, the construction workers removed their hard hats and the Fedex guy got out of his truck, removed his hat and stood by respectfully. The good guys don't get much ink but there are more of us, than there are of them. Pete

The piece of shit in question used to have this post up, but as you can see she has since removed it, instead linking to a petitition to protect her from prosecution, along with a quip about Martin Luther King. Good luck with that, sweetheart.

And to absolutely no one's surprise, Keith Scott -- the unarmed disabled man holding a book before being shot by police -- was a wife beater and stabber, child abuser and served seven years for aggravated assault and the gun he DID have on him was reported stolen. SO yeah, I know I'm not being very politically correct fellow, but I believe I speak for the entire platoon when I say, "Fuck that guy."

"The Clairvoyant" is a song by the English heavy metal band Iron Maiden. It is the band's nineteenth single and the third from their seventh studio album, Seventh Son of a Seventh Son (1988). The single, which was also released as a clear vinyl, debuted at number six in the British charts. It contains three live performances from Maiden's 1988 headlining performance at the Monsters of Rock festival in Donington Park. The song starts in the first person, from the main character's point of view. Later, when he is dead it is in the third person. According to Steve Harris, The Clairvoyant was inspired by the death of psychic Doris Stokes, and his wondering that if she were truly able to see the future, would not she had foreseen her own death?

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September 27, 2016

I'll Choose The Lesser of Two Evils... Hey, These Candidates Are Even Worse Than Last Time.

It's beach reading season – that time when even infrequent readers pick up or download the latest thriller, indulge in a fine romance or take a deep dive into a literary classic. That is time well-spent, a growing body of research suggests. And it's not just because reading makes us smarter, though it does. Reading meaty, character-driven fiction might actually make us better, more empathetic people, studies show. Some literary evangelists go further: they say that reading the right books at the beach can ease almost any human ailment.

Bruh, I'm sure you can find this statue of a little boy on Streetview, but I also want you to tell me who the statue is dedicated to.

Chock full o'Nuts is a brand of coffee originating from a chain of New York City coffee shops. Its unusual name derives from the eighteen shelled nut shops founder William Black had established under that banner in the city beginning in 1926. When the Depression struck he converted them to lunch counters serving a cup of coffee and a sandwich for 5 cents. In time the brand grew popular, being introduced to the consumer market through grocery stores starting in 1953. Today it is owned by coffee giant Massimo Zanetti Beverage Group, the largest privately held firm in the industry. Vintage Chock full o'Nuts metal coffee cans are collectible items sold on eBay.

When the first Harry Potter film hit the big screen nearly 15 years ago in 2001, all the characters just seemed so perfectly fitting. By now, most of those who read the books almost cannot imagine any other face when imagining the fictitious characters. But did you know, these 10 celebrities were considered and some almost took the role? Gandalf as Dumbledore? It could have changed everything!

Seriously, bruh. A complete AR-15 rifle with forward assist, a dust cover, and 30 round magazine for $434 shipped. You can't afford not to buy one.

Ernie, Hope the wheel is feeling better. Your redhead is standing at 1234 Montgomery Street, SF, CA. (37*47'58.85" N / 122*24'14.99" W) Although, can we know if she really is a redhead without carpet to compare to the drapes? Andrew

Bruh, close but remember I was looking for this *exact* same spot.

"It takes strength to be firm. It takes courage to be gentle. It takes strength to stand guard. It takes courage to let down your guard. It takes strength to conquer. It takes courage to surrender. It takes strength to be certain. It takes courage to have doubt. It takes strength to fit in. It takes courage to stand out. It takes strength to feel a friend's pain. It takes courage to feel your own pain. It takes strength to hide your own pains. It takes courage to show them. It takes strength to endure abuse. It takes courage to stop it. It takes strength to stand alone. It takes courage to lean on another. It takes strength to love. It takes courage to be loved. It takes strength to survive. It takes courage to live." - Dave L Griffith, the Cowboy Night Writer

At 244 lbs, she weighs more than all but four players on the New York Yankees 25 man roster. She'd stare down on the likes of NFL defensive linemen J.J. Watt and Mike Daniels. And she regularly spars with men. Meet Gabrielle Garcia, the scariest woman in mixed martial arts. The Brazilian behemoth, who stands 6'1" tall, is 100+ lbs too heavy to fight in the UFC's bantamweight division, which is probably good news for Ronda Rousey, Holly Holm, and Miesha Tate. And yes, I had to do a lot of metric-to-Imperican conversion on that, for example, 1.1 meters is about 43 inches.

Bruh, I know I've put on more than a few pounds over the last few months since I've been unable to ride my bike, but if I wanted to lock it up with the rest of these, where am I headed?

I think the lovely ginger is at 1255 Montgomery St. in San Fran. She¹s about 5ft from this manhole cover. Sorry for the pdf but I couldn¹t get a Google Street View link to work. Gary

Hi Ernie: Unfortunately Google Streetview didn't use fine SLR equipment like the Photographer did in his shot. Your Transamerica girl is at 1276 Montgomery Street in San Francisco. The view I linked to is about the best I can do to get 'exactly' the right spot. I can't seem to move over to the left anymore than I have. Link here. Martov

Hi Ernie, We are In front of 1255 Montgomery St., San Francisco. The red X is EXACTLY where the lovely redhead is posing. All the cracks line up....can I say that & actually get away with it? All The Best! - John

The Hagerstown Police Department released two body-worn camera videos from officers who were on the scene following an accident, which resulted in a out of control 15-year-old bicyclist being pepper sprayed. In related news, I have come to the realization that I could never, ever pursue a career in law enforcement. Chase-Pitkin story aside, I would shoot everyone. Twice.

I harbor a nice love/hate relationship with one of my favorite plinking pieces; a Ruger Mark III slab side. On the plus side, I can reach out to 25 yards with iron sights and not only ring the bullzeye, but where i'm going to ring the bullzeye. Given the right wind, it can be almost comically accurate to shoot. On the down side, once used it must be cleaned and that means reassembling That Which Was Not Meant To Be Reassembled. Seriously, it's fucking horrible to put back together, almost the point where I'm reluctant to shoot it, or only do a few rounds so I don't have to break it down afterwards for a real cleaning. In fact, if you Google "difficult to disassemble ruger mark iii" you'll find a metric shit ton of people with similar complaints. So I must admit part of me breathed a little sign of relief when Ruger announces the new one-button Ruger Takedown Mark IV; eviodently they've gotten the message. I just want to see if they'd reintroduce the slab side with its sweet ass cocobolo grips, because the wood really is quite beautiful.

Bruh, we've all played with Legos when we were kids, but can you tell me where I can still buy this Lego set?

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September 26, 2016

So Tonight Is The Night. Which Dumbfuck Do You Think Will Win?

Every woman deserves to be comfortable in her bra. Bras, just like bodies and breasts, come in just about every shape, size, and color imaginable. The enormous variety can be overwhelming when you don't know where to start. By learning your correct measurements, getting familiar with your body and breast shape, and considering when and where you plan to wear your bra, you'll be able to find the perfect bra in no time.

Cadbury Mini Eggs are a milk chocolate product created and produced by Cadbury UK, also produced in Cadbury Adams. Introduced by the Cadbury company in 1967, they are sold specifically during the Easter season. The egg is solid milk chocolate encased in a thin coating of hard candy shell, molded to resemble a miniature egg. Mini Eggs were previously produced in the Keynsham plant in Somerset, UK; however as of February 2010, production has moved to Cadbury's new plant in Bielany Wroclawskie, Poland. Cadbury Mini Eggs products no longer state a country of origin on the label, instead stating "Made in the EU under licence from Cadbury UK Ltd".

To anyone who lived through the golden age of outlets, the popularity of blemished merchandise online should come as no surprise. And according to online retailers who sell first-quality merchandise along with blemished products, there is a growing appetite among online shoppers for the slightly imperfect stuff, presuming it's offered at bargain prices. Which is exactly what Aero Precision is doing with their belimished merchandise, sweetening the deal with free shipping on orders over $99.

Finding this view of the Sherman Oaks Galleria? Pffft, child's play. I want you to show me where some asshole was dripping water all over the place.

A couple of good ones today You can get your currency exchanged a the Change atm in Budapest, Hungary. Keoki's Donkey Balls and Surfinass Coffee Company are easily found in Kona. Was just there with the kids this summer (Kona, not donkey balls). It looks different and is kind of hard to see on street view, but here you go. Brian

Ernie says: BZZZZT, one out of two ain't bad.

In developing countries, many people come from humble beginning to find incredible success along the way. They knew the market and how to fine tune their business but when it came to their fortune however, many were clueless on how to spend it. One billionaire in China bought a mega-yacht because he was told billionaires needed a yacht. "He never spent much time on it except to fish off it every now and then." said the owner of the dock where the vessel has sat this entire time. Needless to say, these celebrities don't have this problem... Is something too cheap and affordable? Just make it out of 24k gold and embed some diamonds, problem fucking solved!

Visitors entering Canada from New York State at the Hill Island border crossing might have wondered if they had taken a wrong turn and wandered across the Atlantic. The Canada Border Services Agency post had removed the Canadian maple leaf flag from the two main flagpoles flanking the border post and replaced them with a large Union Jack. A worker with the Thousand Islands Bridge Authority said the CBSA supervisor had ordered the change of flags that morning. CBSA appears to have mistakenly interpreted a rule that allows for the Union Jack to be flown alongside the Canadian flag on Victoria Day. Flag protocol rules listed on the Canadian Heritage website state clearly that: “The Canadian flag will always take precedence and will not be replaced by the Union Jack.”

The chick flashing her box can enjoy some chocolates while she's at the Donkey Balls location in Kealakekua, Hawaii. Cameron

Donkey Balls Factory and store, 79-7411 Mamalahoa Hwy, Kealakekua, HI. Rick

Here's a man claiming to be a war veteran blocks entrance on a bus because driver supposedly won't let his service dog on. Hard to tell what the real story is here, but I'm going to call the bullshit flag on this one. Service animals are usually pretty tuned in on their owners, while this dog doesn't seem to give a shit one way or the other.

The Transamerica Pyramid is the tallest skyscraper in the San Francisco skyline. The building no longer houses the headquarters of the Transamerica Corporation, which moved their U.S. headquarters to Baltimore, Maryland, but it is still associated with the company and is depicted in the company's logo. Designed by architect William Pereira and built by Hathaway Dinwiddie Construction Company, at 853 ft, on completion in 1972 it was the eighth tallest building in the world. Show me EXACTLY where this photo of the Transamerica Pyramid wa staken. And I do mean EXACTLY.

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