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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
April 23, 2014

Why Am I Reminded Of Some Joke From My Childhood, Something About Flatman And Ribbon?

With summer approaching, many of you are probably looking forward to the long, sunshine filled days ahead. That sunshine can do more than just warm our skin and give us our daily doses of vitamin D. It can also dry and sanitize our laundry. A clothesline is a very simple way to reduce your energy use and lower your budget. You can see an average savings of $50 per month on your electric bill since starting to use the clothesline. Plus, a simple and inexpensive pulley clothesline allows you to stay in a stationary shaded area while your clothes take the journey. Here are some instructions to install your pulley clothes line system, which you can see in use here. I know, those girls are even more clever as these vanity plates, amirite?

Bath & Body Works candles are the world's best candle guaranteed! They are made using the highest concentration of fragrance oils and an exclusive blend of vegetable wax and lead-free wicks, the wax melts consistently and evenly, radiating enough fragrance to fill an entire room. The fragrance Moonlight Path is an opulent floral bouquet that captures the essence of moonlit strolls in a lush garden. That reminds me of back in late February when I posted this picture to see if anyone could identify what candles are in the background. Jan correctly identified the one on the right as Coconut Bay, but that was as far as we got. I even wrote into customer service to see if they could help, but no dice. So what obscure scent the other one is, remains a mystsery to this day.

There is an old English proverb, "the eyes are the window to the soul." It is basically stating that by looking deeply into a person's eyes, you can tell who they truly are on the inside. This saying stems from a passage in the Bible, Matthew 6:22-23, "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!" A form of this quote has been traced back to the great orator and Roman philosopher Cicero who once said, "The face is a picture of the mind as the eyes are its interpreter." The proverb evolved over time encapsulating into these words of wisdom: "The eyes are the window to the soul." And all of these ladies have great big beautiful round souls. You're welcome.

So I tried to find a little bit of background on the Supraleage, whatever that is. Web and image searches turned up zip. Any ideas?

Hey Ernie, I've been a fan of your site for several years now and I need some help. A buddy posted this pic of an antique scale he found in an old shop and he is curious what language is written on it and what it says. Looks like a serious weed scale to me.... Any help would be great....Thanks, Dusty

Calcutta Fishing was born in Florida in 1991, a time when quality frozen bait was hard to find. The following year, Calcutta set up processing plants in Marathon and Fort Pierce, Florida to market rigged and un-rigged ballyhoo, mullet and mackerel. Making sure fishermen were armed with the “Best Damn Bait” was the company's number one priority. As the bait business grew, Calcutta expanded their merchandising to other categories such as t-shirts, hats, backpacks, rigging wire, pre-tied rigs and other fishing gear.

Russia's chief export seems to be international outrage lately, but did you know that they've also produced a consistent crop of sexy models over the years? If not, you can refer to this list of nine of the sexiest Russian models of the last few years. And remember that unlike virtually all American cheerleaders, it's even more unlikely that you have a chance with any of these women. You're welcome.

Earlier this week Netflix announced that sometime in Q3 or Q4 of this year, there will be a one or two dollar increase for new members. So if you haven't subscribed to Netflix yet, might I suggest you pause your betamax VCR, pick up your rotary telephone and call Netflix to do so.

Lysol Disinfecting Wipes help stop the spread of germs and are perfect for touch-up cleaning. Lysol Disinfecting Wipes are also approved to remove more than 95% of allergens. Like germs, allergens exist on hard surfaces, so Lysol Disinfecting Wipes help you year round to keep your family thriving. Feel free to use both available scents of Lysol Disinfecting wipes -- Lemon & Lime Blossom in the yellow contain and Ocean Fresh in the green container -- all around your home; they are even suitable to use on wood!

Whatever happened to all those fuel tanks jettisoned over Vietnam? And now you know. Greg

Freebirds World Burrito, is a regional chain of fast casual burrito restaurants founded in 1987 in Isla Vista, California by Mark Orfalea. The restaurant chain expanded into Texas in 1990 under Orfalea's leadership. In 1994 Mark's college friend and manager of the Texas location, Pierre Dube, purchased control of the restaurant and gradually expanded the chain to span 19 restaurants in Texas. Orfalea retained ownership of the original California location and a license to continue using the name in California. The Texas Freebirds World Burrito chain, which was headquartered in College Station, was purchased by private-equity Tavistock Group in 2007. The chain has grown to over 30 locations in Texas and a single location in Oklahoma and Kansas, with some Freebirds set to open outside the state in 2011.

Quttinirpaaq National Park is a Canadian national park. Located on the northeastern corner of Ellesmere Island in the Qikiqtaaluk Region of Nunavut, the most northerly extent of Canada, it is the second most northerly park on Earth after Northeast Greenland National Park. In Inuktitut, Quttinirpaaq means "top of the world". The land is dominated by rock and ice. It is a polar desert with very little annual precipitation and much of the highlands of the park are covered in ice caps allowing visitors to enjoy an icy canoe trip through its ice carved canyons.

Look, Carlsberg beer is good, sure. But I don't know about being the best beer in the world.


April 22, 2014

General John Kelly's Speech About Two Marines In The Path Of A Truck Bomb

Two years ago when I was the Commander of all U.S. and Iraqi forces, in fact, the 22nd of April 2008, two Marine infantry battalions, 1/9 “The Walking Dead,” and 2/8 were switching out in Ramadi. One battalion in the closing days of their deployment going home very soon, the other just starting its seven-month combat tour. Two Marines, Corporal Jonathan Yale and Lance Corporal Jordan Haerter, 22 and 20 years old respectively, one from each battalion, were assuming the watch together at the entrance gate of an outpost that contained a makeshift barracks housing 50 Marines. The same broken down ramshackle building was also home to 100 Iraqi police, also my men and our allies in the fight against the terrorists in Ramadi, a city until recently the most dangerous city on earth and owned by Al Qaeda. Yale was a dirt poor mixed-race kid from Virginia with a wife and daughter, and a mother and sister who lived with him and he supported as well. He did this on a yearly salary of less than $23,000. Haerter, on the other hand, was a middle class white kid from Long Island.

They were from two completely different worlds. Had they not joined the Marines they would never have met each other, or understood that multiple America's exist simultaneously depending on one's race, education level, economic status, and where you might have been born. But they were Marines, combat Marines, forged in the same crucible of Marine training, and because of this bond they were brothers as close, or closer, than if they were born of the same woman. The mission orders they received from the sergeant squad leader I am sure went something like: “Okay you two clowns, stand this post and let no unauthorized personnel or vehicles pass.” “You clear?” I am also sure Yale and Haerter then rolled their eyes and said in unison something like: “Yes Sergeant,” with just enough attitude that made the point without saying the words, “No kidding sweetheart, we know what we're doing.” They then relieved two other Marines on watch and took up their post at the entry control point of Joint Security Station Nasser, in the Sophia section of Ramadi, al Anbar, Iraq.

A few minutes later a large blue truck turned down the alley way—perhaps 60-70 yards in length—and sped its way through the serpentine of concrete jersey walls. The truck stopped just short of where the two were posted and detonated, killing them both catastrophically. Twenty-four brick masonry houses were damaged or destroyed. A mosque 100 yards away collapsed. The truck's engine came to rest two hundred yards away knocking most of a house down before it stopped. Our explosive experts reckoned the blast was made of 2,000 pounds of explosives. Two died, and because these two young infantrymen didn't have it in their DNA to run from danger, they saved 150 of their Iraqi and American brothers-in-arms.

When I read the situation report about the incident a few hours after it happened I called the regimental commander for details as something about this struck me as different. Marines dying or being seriously wounded is commonplace in combat. We expect Marines regardless of rank or MOS to stand their ground and do their duty, and even die in the process, if that is what the mission takes. But this just seemed different. The regimental commander had just returned from the site and he agreed, but reported that there were no American witnesses to the event—just Iraqi police. I figured if there was any chance of finding out what actually happened and then to decorate the two Marines to acknowledge their bravery, I'd have to do it as a combat award that requires two eye-witnesses and we figured the bureaucrats back in Washington would never buy Iraqi statements. If it had any chance at all, it had to come under the signature of a general officer.

I traveled to Ramadi the next day and spoke individually to a half-dozen Iraqi police all of whom told the same story. The blue truck turned down into the alley and immediately sped up as it made its way through the serpentine. They all said, “We knew immediately what was going on as soon as the two Marines began firing.” The Iraqi police then related that some of them also fired, and then to a man, ran for safety just prior to the explosion. All survived. Many were injured … some seriously. One of the Iraqis elaborated and with tears welling up said, “They'd run like any normal man would to save his life.” What he didn't know until then, he said, and what he learned that very instant, was that Marines are not normal. Choking past the emotion he said, “Sir, in the name of God no sane man would have stood there and done what they did.” “No sane man.” “They saved us all.” What we didn't know at the time, and only learned a couple of days later after I wrote a summary and submitted both Yale and Haerter for posthumous Navy Crosses, was that one of our security cameras, damaged initially in the blast, recorded some of the suicide attack. It happened exactly as the Iraqis had described it. It took exactly six seconds from when the truck entered the alley until it detonated.

You can watch the last six seconds of their young lives. Putting myself in their heads I supposed it took about a second for the two Marines to separately come to the same conclusion about what was going on once the truck came into their view at the far end of the alley. Exactly no time to talk it over, or call the sergeant to ask what they should do. Only enough time to take half an instant and think about what the sergeant told them to do only a few minutes before: “ … let no unauthorized personnel or vehicles pass.”

The two Marines had about five seconds left to live. It took maybe another two seconds for them to present their weapons, take aim, and open up. By this time the truck was half-way through the barriers and gaining speed the whole time. Here, the recording shows a number of Iraqi police, some of whom had fired their AKs, now scattering like the normal and rational men they were—some running right past the Marines. They had three seconds left to live.

For about two seconds more, the recording shows the Marines' weapons firing non-stop…the truck's windshield exploding into shards of glass as their rounds take it apart and tore in to the body of the son-of-a-bitch who is trying to get past them to kill their brothers—American and Iraqi—bedded down in the barracks totally unaware of the fact that their lives at that moment depended entirely on two Marines standing their ground. If they had been aware, they would have know they were safe … because two Marines stood between them and a crazed suicide bomber.

The recording shows the truck careening to a stop immediately in front of the two Marines. In all of the instantaneous violence Yale and Haerter never hesitated. By all reports and by the recording, they never stepped back. They never even started to step aside. They never even shifted their weight. With their feet spread shoulder width apart, they leaned into the danger, firing as fast as they could work their weapons. They had only one second left to live. The truck explodes. The camera goes blank. Two young men go to their God. Six seconds. Not enough time to think about their families, their country, their flag, or about their lives or their deaths, but more than enough time for two very brave young men to do their duty … into eternity. That is the kind of people who are on watch all over the world tonight—for you. [PDF source of speech - possible Medals of Honor]

Now let's watch Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover girl Nina Agdal play basketball in some very short pajama shorts. You're welcome.

I do not have pics now but Swig Central is in the Weigel's chain of convenient stores and gas stations. Their HQ is in Knoxville, TN with locations across East Tennessee. I am pretty certain that the pic you uposted was from their Middlebrook Pike Location in Knoxville. Cheers, Buzz

I thought while traveling I had seen the “Swig Central” display at a TA (Travelcenters of America) truck stop that had a Subway restaurant in it, but haven't found a picture. The closest I find is a picture of the red/white checkerboard pattern (which doesn't prove squat). Keith

Here's an interesting read: game creators are using a new technique to make their horror based video games more scary: gun control. No, not Michael Bloomberg's kind of gun control, but more of psychological gun control. From the article: "Weapons in general in horror games, especially guns, stray away from the point of horror: helplessness. Humans love being in control of situations, be it social, economic, sexual, or anything else. When that control is taken away, they feel helpless. Horror thrives on helplessness. When the player has means to fight their threat, the element of helplessness is eradicated and the horror is undermined rather drastically." By taking away the effective means to defend themselves from threats, game creators able to create more fear. It's quite a fascinating read.

And don't worry, no matter how dirty things look, I promise I will never bleep anything out for the simple reason I do not believe in unnecessary censorship!

A loupe is a simple, small magnification device used to see small details more closely. Unlike a magnifying glass, a loupe does not have an attached handle, and its focusing lens(es) are contained in an opaque cylinder or cone or fold into an enclosing housing that protects the lenses when not in use. Loupes are also called hand lenses. Loupes are used in a number of industries, notably the jewelry trade, watchmaking, photography, printing, dentistry, education and ophthalmology. Loupes are also used in academia and life sciences, such as geology and biology. Amateur naturalists may also find a hand lens or a loupe a useful tool when looking at or identifying species.

There are 10 million members at Adult Friend Finder, all of which looking for fun filled action to keep warm this chilly season. Even if you don't want to hook up, sign up for free and check out tons of nude photos and profiles. With 10 million members, you may find the chick next door looking to get laid. And you ladies, don't be shy. Tons of guys are waiting for you, too. Just take the one minute to find some people in the area! So sign up for free then go to your e-mail to confirm your account and get busy!

April 21, 2014

Well, At Least The Dangerous Dog Is Okay.

Oh, my Barney, oh, my Barney, had a jail and couldn't lock it. Had one bullet for his pistol, had to keep it in his pocket.

We face many complex challenges when it comes to a clean and healthy ocean, but one problem is simple to understand: Trash. Roughly 40 tons of debris washes up on our beaches every year - 80% of that could be recycled. Unfortunately, what we see dirtying up our beaches and floating on the ocean's surface is just the tip of the iceberg. Much more lies unseen beneath the surface and far away on the open water — but that doesn't make it any less important.

So why do I watch hockey? Is it for the sportsmanship? Not hardly. For the competition? For the fights? No. I do it because you can occasionally see a fan flash her tits during overtime. YAY FOR BOOBIES!

Thomas Lipton began travelling the world for new items to stock in this store, one such item was tea, since sales had doubled from $7 million from the late 1870s to $150 million by the mid-1880s. However, he believed the price was far too high, so in 1890, he purchased his own tea gardens in Ceylon, now Sri Lanka, and packaged and sold the first Lipton tea. Staying true to this vision, he arranged packaging and shipping at low costs and sold his tea in packets by the pound, half pound, and quarter pound, with the advertising slogan: "Direct from the tea gardens to the teapot." Lipton teas were an immediate success in the United States. Thomas Lipton was knighted by Queen Victoria, who made him Sir Thomas Lipton in 1898 at the age of forty-eight.

A long standsing craze on the web involves all sorts of hot babe slideshows, from sexy celebrities to things like bikini contests. Here are some great slideshows of some of the most popular celebrities from around the web for your viewing pleasure. Who? Well, think and such ladies as that.

And I was able to get some answers on which department this officer is attached to...

Ernie Long time lurker here. The uniform is of the United States Park Police who provided security for the Raelian Movement's [NOPE!] August 26, 2012 protest in front of the White House. You can find out more at gotopless.org. Keep up the good work! Yours - Carl

Ernie, First off I love your site and have been visiting it since I was in college at PITT back in the days of the stick figures and the WHOOP boobs! Even though you've probably already been told I believe that would be the patch of the Secret Service Uniform Division [YUP!]. Keep up the good work! Jason

The Palazzo is a luxury hotel and casino resort situated between Wynn and The Venetian on the Las Vegas Strip in Paradise, Nevada. It is the tallest completed building [proof]in Nevada -- although the Fontainebleau Resort Las Vegas, whose construction is currently stalled due to financial problems -- is already taller. Designed by the Dallas based HKS, Inc., the property's design is marketed as being reflective of a modern European ambiance and luxury living. The hotel and casino are part of a larger complex comprising the adjoining Venetian Hotel and Casino and the Sands Expo and Convention Center [proof], all of which are owned and operated by the Las Vegas Sands Corporation. Here is the view from a Palazzo luxury suite looking west northwest over Tresure Island.

You have the right to remain silent, so shut the fuck up, okay? You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, we'll provide you with the dumbest fucking lawyer on earth. If you get Johnny Cochrane, I'll kill ya.

Ernie- Have you ever heard of a tall blonde Swedish bombshell champion pool player they call The Striking Viking, Ewa Laurance? You have now. I hear she racks her own balls, and she can certainly rack mine... - Rex

Not sure what you can do with this. Have a great weekend. Harald in Tacoma

In "Weird Fears," celebrities and comedians bravely confront their irrational anxieties for your amusement. There's only one thing that could scare the crap out of Jason Mamoa (aka Khal Drogo): and that's Pennywise the Clown from Stephen King's It. So try to have a little empathy, okay?

Okay, try as I might, I just can't seem to figure out which chain of convenience store has their fountain drinks in an area called Swig Central. Any ideas? Is it a WaWa?

Then: the cost of 2160 rounds of steel core 5.45x39 ammo on 4/21/2013? Around $284 shipped right to your front door. Now: the cost of 2160 rounds of steel core 5.45 ammo on 4/21/2013? Starting at $450. Then add $25 for shipping. THANK YOU ATF!

April 19, 2014

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

30 years after chernobyl's meltdown, gripping photos expose the human fallout

rumor: resident evil 7 is to be to be revealed this next electronic entertainment expo (e3)

neil degrasse tyson said what he thinks about race now that he's made it and almost nobody noticed

smith and wesson m&p 15 sport 811036 rifle 5.56 nato 16 inch 30rd black - $566.23 + $5.99 s/h (record low)

one bunny - two bunny - three bunny - four bunny - five bunny - six bunny - seven bunny - eight bunny

April 18, 2014

How About Full On Gorging.

At first I thought this guy was from the United States Capital Police, but the patches don't match up. Any idea what department he belongs to?

See if you can get past level 8 on this new game Maze Evolution. I'm still working on it, I just had to grab a screen cap long enough to get this post up. And on that note, I like beer. I like arcades. So why haven't I heard about barcades until now?

If I said the name Judy Greer, you'd be all like, "whaaaaaatttt???" Yeah, me too. But if I said the erotic asphyxiation loving Cheryl Tunt in Archer, then you'd know who I was talking about. yeah, everyone recognizes her voice then. Yep, turns out the character is voiced by Judy Greer who not only has the perkiest pair of tits in all of Hollywood, but absolutely rocks this little red dress she wore to an interview.

Last week when I mentioned The Ultimate Warrior and how before his death he became a two-time WWF Intercontinental Champion and won the WWF Championship when he pinned Hulk Hogan in the main event of WrestleMania VI, making him the only wrestler in the history of the company to hold both the WWF Championship and the Intercontinental Championship at the same time, I forgot to include this picture of his belts.

A rocking horse is a child's toy, usually shaped like a horse and mounted on rockers similar to a rocking chair. The toy in its current form did not appear before the 17th century, though some conflicting sources note medieval manuscripts including references to carved rocking horses, presumably of the toy kind. From the 19th century onward rocking horses became more commonly considered as child's toy. Mostly built by hobby woodcrafters, and ranging from relatively crude to finely ornamented and the toys of future kings, it was not until the late 19th century and the invention of plastic that the production became industrialised.

What's black, goes from 0-60 in 2.6 seconds, can hit 254 mph and costs $3 million dollars? Why the Bugatti Veyron Black Bess Edition, of course. BUY IT FOR ME.

Adult walruses are easily recognized by their prominent tusks, whiskers, and bulkiness. Adult males in the Pacific can weigh more than 4,400 lb and, among pinnipeds, are exceeded in size only by the two species of elephant seals. Walruses live mostly in shallow waters above the continental shelves, spending significant amounts of their lives on the sea ice looking for benthic bivalve mollusks to eat. Walruses are relatively long-lived, social animals, and they are considered to be a "keystone species" in the Arctic marine regions.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is as always, a wealth of information, usually in the form of: uncomfortable homoerotica, or his affinity for pranks and life's six rules or even just staying healthy.

In the market for a good deal on an inexpensive pistole'? Might I kindly point out that a might be worthy of some consideration?

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