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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
August 20, 2014

Some People Will Piss And Moan If They're Hung With A New Rope.

I have never heard so many people bitching and moaning about a charity drive in my entiree life, as I have with this ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. With the exception of those poor fuckers trapped in California, everyone needs to shut the fuck up. This is a novelty idea that's designed not only to raise money for ALS, but also to raise its awareness.

Yes, people are indeed wasting a little water. But if that's the worst fucking to happen to you today, count your fucking blessings because the alternative is you could be this poor son of a bitch. And what's the real solution here? Easy, stop cutting their funding.

As far as the challenges go, some are good -- I would have really liked to see Kata Mara 5 seconds after her video cut out -- while some are bad. Some people have a difficult time understanding the physics of a huge bucket of wate, especially when they're wearing a loose bikini top.

Some of my favorite challenges so far: Chris Pratt aka Burt Macklin aka Starlord, uber hottie Kate Upton and her boyfriend (fuck you!) Justin Verlander, former President George W Bush, a bikini clad Katy Perry, winning warlock Charlie Sheen and Nike CEO Mark Parker.

In an age when so many coaches and parents have forgotten that youth sports is about instilling values, this is one hell of a refreshing speech, made by Rhode Island coach Dave Belisle after his kids were eliminated by Chicago yesterday. Anyway, rather than go the $10-Accept-Challenge or $100-Reject-Challenge route, I just donated $50 and called it a day.

Henry Louis Gehrig was an American baseball first baseman who played 17 seasons in Major League Baseball for the New York Yankees (1923–1939). Gehrig was renowned for his prowess as a hitter and for his durability, a trait which earned him his nickname "The Iron Horse". He finished with a career batting average of .340, an on-base percentage of .447, and a slugging percentage of .632, and he tallied 493 home runs and 1,995 runs batted in. A seven-time All-Star and six-time World Series champion, Gehrig won the Triple Crown in 1934 and was twice named the American League's Most Valuable Player. Gehrig was the first MLB player to have his uniform number retired, and he was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1939. On June 21, the New York Yankees announced Gehrig's retirement. The doctors of the Mayo Clinic had released his ALS diagnosis to the public on June 19. Yankees Manager Joe McCarthy, struggling to control his emotions, then spoke of Lou Gehrig, with whom he had a close, almost father-and-son–like bond. After describing Gehrig as "the finest example of a ballplayer, sportsman, and citizen that baseball has ever known", McCarthy could stand it no longer. Turning tearfully to Gehrig, the manager said, "Lou, what else can I say except that it was a sad day in the life of everybody who knew you when you came into my hotel room that day in Detroit and told me you were quitting as a ballplayer because you felt yourself a hindrance to the team. My God, man, you were never that." Gehrig's complete speech was not filmed; only a small snippet of the newsreel footage has survived, incorporating his opening and closing remarks: "For the past two weeks you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth. When you look around, wouldn't you consider it a privilege to associate yourself with such fine looking men as are standing in uniform in this ballpark today? That I may have been given a bad break, but I have an awful lot to live for. Thank you."

So my free shit from Sig Sauer came in yesterday afternoon -- so in the end I'll have picked up a Sig P220 with night sights, four 15 round magazines, paddle holster and pistol bag for a paltry $389. If you're jelly you can still pick up almost the same deal through CDNN Sports Weekend Super Sale, although it's gone up to $399 now, and Sig's rebate offer for the two extra mags has expired, but it's still an excellent pistol.

Here are 25 24 mind-blowing things you didn't know before today. I can assure you that #3 is complete and total bullshit.

The 5-Inch/54-caliber (Mk 45) lightweight gun is a modern U.S. naval artillery gun mount consisting of a 5-inch L54 Mark 19 gun on the Mark 45 mount. Originally designed and built by United Defense, it is now manufactured by BAE Systems Land & Armaments after the former was acquired. The latest 5-inch/62-caliber version consist of a longer barrel L62 Mark 36 gun fitted on the same Mark 45 mount. The gun is designed for use against surface warships, anti-aircraft and shore bombardment to support amphibious operations. The gun mount features an automatic loader with a capacity of 20 rounds. These can be fired under full automatic control, taking a little over a minute to exhaust those rounds at maximum fire rate.

August 19, 2014

Michael Brown, The Ferguson Police, Al Sharpton, et al.

A lot of people are suggesting Michael Brown was killed because he robbed a store, "he didn't deserve to die over some stolen cigars." I completely agree. But robbery was not why the fatal confrontation occured. Brown was killed because -- or at least the police claim -- he assaulted an officer in a police cruiser, attempted to steal the officer's firearm before fleeing, and then turned and charging the officer. A jaywalking incident can have fatal consequences if the jaywalker assaults the officer and tries to steal his firearm. Now as for who is telling the truth in this Michael brown shooting is of course a matter of hot debate, and one that will not be put to rest anytime soon. Both sides admit the officer attempted to exit the cruiser and [for disputed reasons] was unable to do so. The victim's friend says they were just walking down the street, when the officer pulled up, opened his car door so quickly, it bounced off of these two innocent souls. The officer on the other hand, claims he attempted to open the door and was forcibly shoved back inside, a physical struggle ensued and Brown attempted to grab his gun. As to who is telling the truth, I'd simply like to know if there's a bullet hole inside the cruiser. Because to me, that'd be pretty definitive. But we're not going to settle this hash anytime soon, so there's no sense in getting our panties in a wad -- or setting fire to any convenience stores -- until the truth comes out. And so in the meantime...

THUMBS DOWN to anyone bitching and moaning because Brown had marijuana in his system. It's the year 2014 and by everyone should enjoy a zippity-fucking-do-dah attitude about weed. Brown tests positive for cocaine or meth? Fine, you'll have my attention. But weed? Pffft, who cares.

THUMBS DOWN to Michael Baden, a hired shill from New York who offered, “In my capacity as the forensic examiner for the New York State Police, I would say, 'You're not supposed to shoot so many times.'” So asshole, just what is the proper amount of times to shoot someone who is charging at you? Is it 16 times with 9 injured bystanders? Or perhaps 50 times is the correct number? You fire until there's no more threat. That's the magic number. Period.

THUMBS DOWN to the St. Charles County Regional SWAT Team for firing tear gas and bean bags at journalists. Now later on the St. Charles County spokesperson would claim the officers were kindly helping the news crew to change locations and even thanked the officers afterwards. Yeah, I call fucking bullshit. Because when the actions you take cede the high moral ground to the fucking Pelestinians, you're doing something wrong.

THUMBS DOWN to Trayvon Martin's parasitic parents, who once again forced her way into the spotlight to offer, "gun violence is the second leading cause of death for children ages 1-19. That is a horrible fact." uh, actually, no, no it's not all. Unless of course by "second leading cause" you mean "fourth leading cause" behind perinatal conditions, congenital anomalies, and motor vehicles.

THUMBS DOWN to this stupid fucking CNN news anchor for suggesting police use water cannons on protesters instead of tear gas. Hmmmm, let me think of why that's a bad idea. Hmmmmmm.

THUMBS DOWN to Michael Brown's grandfather who demanded to meet with President Obama because -- hey after all -- he voted for him. On that regard fuck you to any parents who gets treated with kid gloves and gets to testify before our elected leaders, while others are ignored because they're not deemed newsworthy. On that note a hearty FUCK YOU to our Divider in Chief who was -- and I'm not shitting you -- at the Vineyard Golf Club during Major General Harold Greene's funeral.

THUMBS DOWN to any asshole calling for the officer involved to immediately be fired and charged with murder. You are all hypocritical cocksuckers.

THUMBS DOWN to anyone outraged by this photo of an American citizen pointing his weapon at the government, but not equally outraged by these photos of the government pointing their weapons at American citizens. You are also hypocritical cocksuckers.

AND FINALLY, THUMBS DOWN to Big Snitch Al Sharpton and his bullshit "We are liberators, not looters" speech. Do you want to know where to stand on any moral issue? Easy, find where Sharpton stands and then take the exact opposite view. I guarantee you'll always be on the right side of history. He shoudld have been booed off stage right along with Jesse Jackson.

Hi Ernie, The simple explanation for stainless steel types is this. All steel is alloyed to make it "stainless" by adding non corrosive alloys such as nickel and molybdenum, to keep it from rusting. Many manufactures of steels create proprietary alloys for making knife steel. How they get proprietary formulas is by tweaking the alloys to get different tinsel strengths in both a lateral and longitudinal directions and by heat treating the steel to make it hard to hold an edge. S30V is said to be proprietary and only can be used by Kershaw. The main differences of 14C28N and S30V are as follows: 14C28N is "less hard" It has a lateral hardness of 5 to 6 pounds so It will sharpen very easily to a razor edge but will lose its edge quickly requiring it to be resharpened. Pro: since it is softer than S30V it will be less prone to chipping and tip breakage during rough use. Con: It will require frequent sharpening and is recommended to "strop" the blade after each period of use. S30V Is Hard. It has a Lateral hardness of 10 to 10.5 pounds. It will be more difficult to sharpen but will hold its edge for a much longer period of time. Pro: It holds its edge. Con: because it is hard, the edge will chip like glass under rough use. I know this is more 6th grade than kindergarten but this is as simple of an explanation that I can provide. After saying this, all knife steel freaks have their own opinion about what is the better steel. Ideal hardness for a perfect edge etc.. etc.. All of this information above is hotly contested in that arena. My preference is the 14C28N. It gets razor sharp and with regular stropping stays razor sharp and is less likely to chip or break when I use it. Cheers friend, Randy

THUMBS UP to to anyone finally coming the realization that there are benefits to being an armed member of society. As I've said before, being that I live on the Gulf coast of FLorida, my biggest fear is the immediate aftermath of a large hurricane. Those of you who live on the west coast have to deal with wild fires and earthquakes. In the midwest you have tornadoes. Any number of which could cause a temporary breakdown of society and with it the relative safety that we all take for granted. But Ferguson showed us that riots can happen anywhere, anytime, for any reason. So I'm not saying everyone has to turn into Charleton Fucking Heston -- or Bruce Stern -- but I think you owe it to yourself to know how to defend yourself and your family in a crisis. [MORE GUNS - MORE AMMO]

THUMBS UP to Georgia Rep. Hank Johnson for introducing a bill to halt transfer of military-grade equipment from the Department of Defense to local law enforcement agencies, including automatic weapons, armored vehicles, armored drones, silencers and flash-bang or stun grenades. Although I suspect it will be an uphill battle all the way.

And just for something in the lighter side, Atlanta Braves fans were treated to some Free Male Nudity at Turner Field last night. And yes, pictures and video.

There are 10 million members at Adult Friend Finder, all of which looking for fun filled action to keep warm this chilly season. Even if you don't want to hook up, sign up for free and check out tons of nude photos and profiles. With 10 million members, you may find the chick next door looking to get laid. And you ladies, don't be shy. Tons of guys are waiting for you, too. Just take the one minute to find some people in the area! So sign up for free then go to your e-mail to confirm your account and get busy!

August 18, 2014

So Cape Coral Has Recently Welcomed Its Second Starbucks.

ATTENTION BOATERS: What is this orange thing?

So I went and saw Guardians of the Galaxy last weekend, and I enjoyed it so much, I actually went back to see it a second time on Thursday. I genuinely like Chris Pratt, and hope he makes it big, especially when you consider given his meager upbringing. Zoe Saldana, always hot, always fun to look at. But it looks like someone got there first. But what really caught me off guard? Who played the villains! I mean it's fucking Brand! Didn't they tie him up with his own piece of exercise equipment? Also spoiler: the surprise after the credits? Get ready for Howard The Duck.

Ultraviolet radiation is invisible to the human eye, but illuminating certain materials with UV radiation causes the emission of visible light, causing these substances to glow with various colors. This is called fluorescence, and has many practical uses. Black lights are required to observe fluorescence, since other types of ultraviolet lamps emit visible light which drowns out the dim fluorescent glow. Some security applications include the use of pens containing a fluorescent ink, generally with a soft tip, that can be used to "invisibly" mark items. At some theme parks, nightclubs and at other, day-long (or night-long) events, a fluorescent mark is rubber stamped onto the wrist of a guest who can then exercise the option of leaving and being able to return again without paying another admission fee.

Your day begins with a wake-up call from your Google Android phone. As you run to the shower, you hit Google News and check headlines, then Gmail. Your first appointment of the day has been moved to a new location; Google Maps will direct you there. But you're not even out the door yet. How convenient. Here are 12 facts you may want to learn in order to not upset the our new digital overlords.

hey ernie, check out craigs list rants in the ferguson Mo. area. they are fuckin hilarious. steve

ernie. here's where you can see how much fun stuff your County's got from Uncle Sam. Tommy

{Lee County Florida: 150 assault rifles, 20 pairs of night vision goggles, 1 FUCKING MRAP]

ATTENTION BARTENDERS: What is this blue thing?

So guess what's going to show up in my mailbox today? That's right, my red kershaw Blur. Although I did note in the comments section, someone raised the point about two different types of steel being used: S30V steel versus 14C28N steel? Does anyone out there know the difference, and more importantly, can you explain it to me like I'm a fucking five year old? Here are some other great deals on knives, if the red Kershaw ain't yo thang.

Verrucous carcinoma of the skin and mucosa is an uncommon type of well-differentiated squamous cell carcinoma. When it is present in the genitoanal region the term used is Buschke-Lowenstein tumor. First described by Buschke and Löwenstein in 1925, the giant condyloma of Buschke and Löwenstein is a slow-growing, locally destructive verrucous plaque that typically appears on the penis but may occur elsewhere in the anogenital region. It most commonly is considered to be a regional variant of verrucous carcinoma, together with oral florid papillomatosis and epithelioma cuniculatum.

August 16, 2014

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

drinking too much in middle age leads to memory loss, says research

usc song girls create a de facto wet t-shirt contest with the als ice bucket challenge

the long goodbye: after 50 years the uss enterprise, world's first nuclear aircraft carrier, is going dark

these 24 famous predictions were so incredibly wrong. in hindsight, they're insane.

great article debunking mother jones' "10 pro-gun myths, shot down"

your weekend boob dump: one - two - three - four - FIVE - six - seven - eight - nine - TEN - eleven - twelve - thirteen

August 15, 2014

Pop Quiz Hotshot. Is That Photo From The Gaza Strip or Ferguson, Missouri?

"The general consensus here: if this is militarization, it's the shittiest, least-trained, least professional military in the world, using weapons far beyond what they need, or what the military would use when doing crowd control."

Would your best friend spend the night in a cemetery for $50? Would your roommate dive head first, with no scuba gear, into an outhouse to retrieve a 20-carat diamond? The answers to these questions can be obtained by playing Preposterous Proposals, one of the many original drinking games included in this book. A Partier's Guide to 51 Drinking Games also contains the rules of play for many classic drinking games, including Quarters, Three-Man and Thumper. With this handy guide, you will never run out of games to play at your social gatherings.

And what the fuck good is a life ring going to do way up there on a balcony? Get it down by the water, man!

Everybody who have been a fan of Robin Williams' work will know how sad of a loss the world has been struck with on August 11th. The Oscar-winning actor and comedy genius has passed away inside his home in California and will be dearly missed. Among the military, Robin Williams was known as the Bob Hope of this generation. Here are 25 things you didn't know about Robin Williams.

Good Morning. The hot chick in the pic appears to be staying at the Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas looking South. I dont think she is in the main building, It only makes sense if she is in the Planet Hollywood Westgate. It appears she is on about the 20th floor. Keep em coming bro. Eric (NOPE)

Behind Planet Hollywood, corner of East Harmon and Audrie Street. Depending on which view of Google Maps you use, it's PH Westgate or a Hilton Grand Vacations. Barry (ALMOST THERE)

This girl is at the Elara, a Hilton Grand Vacations, note the similar room and same carpet. Rick (Bingo!)

The Toshiba Satellite is a line of consumer-grade notebook computers marketed by Toshiba. Models in the Satellite family vary greatly - from entry-level models which are sold at major retailers to full-fledged media center-class notebook. The latter are labelled Qosmio added alongside the Satellite name. The Qosmio models tend to have added features like two hard drive bays, multiple graphics cards, a large number of input/output ports of varying design, unique case styling, LED backlit keyboards, significantly more powerful sound systems and carry the latest features.

Shark Week is an annual week long programming block on Discovery Channel which features shark-based programming, real and fictional. It originally premiered on July 17, 1988 and was originally developed to raise awareness and respect for sharks. Since then it has evolved into more entertainment-oriented programming and is the longest-running cable television programming event in history. Here are 9 things you didn't know about Shark Week.

Netter's Clinical Anatomy is an anatomy resource that clearly provides a comprehensive understanding of complex clinical anatomical concepts. Nearly 600 beautifully colored illustrations offer essential depictions of normal and pathologic anatomy and embryology, accompanied by supportive text to help you understand their clinical relevance. Short-answer review questions at the end of each chapter help you gauge your mastery of the material, and convenient online access equips you with the complete contents of the book, as well as additional illustrations and study questions. Clinical Anatomy is a thorough but quick introduction to basic and clinical anatomy as well as a fast review source.

RE: The Rolling...poster thought this was going to be a very difficult one. Wasn't even sure this was a Rolling Stones poster since the title starts with "Rolling" and not "The". But I got a lucky break... searching for "rolling stones poster" turned up zilch...so, I decided to do an image search for "rolling poster". And there it was! Unfortunately I don't have any info on the poster itself, other than this photo from an old ebay auction listing. Looks like the photo has been used in other ways, but that poster has a unique looking title. Keep up the great work. Oh...and thumbs up on your Awesome Robin Williams/suicide comment two days ago. It touched me greatly, as did Robin Williams. [airDave (Ontario, Canada)]

Hey man I think I found it. The bar flash pic is of Amber Lynn Bach, a porn/web star. I used TinEye to search the pic and found a link to a site that had bigger pics. Also knowing her name, I found her website, seems this pic is from a set from Sept 2007. There is a pic of her smoking has the logo a bit better, after a few trials of XXmmy's Bar, I hit Jimmy's and that lead me to Jimmy's Fish House and Iguana bar. Based on Google earth, the bridge behind her can be seen easily. Great challenge once again. Wade

For decades, many parents have considered inflatable arm bands an adequate flotation device for young children swimming at pools, beaches or lakes, but in fact, proper water wings safety habits strictly discourage this misconception. By understanding what these popular floats can and cannot do, parents and caregivers can practice better swimming safety to protect novice swimmers. It is important to note that water wings are not a lifesaving device and should not be worn as a substitute for a life jacket; instead, using water wings safety equipment can help encourage novice swimmers to enjoy the water with less fear of going under because the arm bands, when worn properly, help provide extra floatation to the head and shoulders.

In this week's edition of "Animals Riding Surfboards" a surfer put his GoPro camera to practical use and strapped it to the front of a surfboard to capture this pig doing its best Point Break impression. The pig is named Kama and hits the beaches of Oahu with his owner, Kai Holt, for regular surf outings.

Wow I can't believe people are still charging $8.99 for a vintage Halo 2 poster.

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