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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
March 4, 2015

Sure, We Joke Around But The Truth Is That Shit Would Totally Work.

Glenmorangie is a distillery in Tain, Ross-shire, Scotland that produces single malt Scotch whisky. Glenmorangie is categorised as a Highland distillery and boasts the tallest stills in Scotland. Glenmorangie has been the best selling single malt in Scotland almost continuously since 1983, and produces around 10 million bottles per annum, of which 6 to 6.5 million are sold in the UK. Globally, Glenmorangie has a 6% share of the single malt market. It is available in Original, 18 and 25 year old bottlings, special cask bottlings, cask finishes, extra matured bottlings, and a range of special edition bottlings.

Hand-supported hair dryers typically are used in bathrooms, near water sources, including the sink, bathtub, and lavatory. When there is no immersion protection device present, the uninsulated, electrically energized wires in the hair dryer present a risk of shock and electrocution to consumers. In June of 2011, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission unanimously approved (5-0) the establishment of a new federal safety rule on hand-supported hair dryers. Current industry standards require that manufacturers incorporate a device into the hair dryer that prevents shock and/or electrocution hazards when it contacts water. Industry voluntary standards, which require a two-button immersion protection device, have contributed to a significant decline in electrocutions or electrical shock incidents related to immersion or contact with water.

The atabaque is a tall, wooden, Afro-Brazilian hand drum. The shell is made traditionally of Jacaranda wood from Brazil. The head is traditionally made from calfskin. A system of ropes are intertwined around the body, connecting a metal ring near the base to the head. Because of this tuning mechanism the drum is sometimes known as 'Atabaque de Corda'. Wooden wedges are jammed between this ring and the body and a hammer is used to tighten or loosen the ropes, raising or lowering the pitch of the drum. There are three types of atabaque: rum, the tallest with the lowest pitch; rum-pi, of medium height and in the middle pitch range; and lę, the smallest and highest-pitched.

So the next time I'm in Barcelona, I'd like to grab a nice cappuccino from the Sabor Cafe. The only thing is I'm having trouble finding it on a map, since the address shows up to this. Now I know it's not the Cafe Sabor chain of restauarants here in the US, so any ideas?

Hi E, Long time lurker, first time I've sent anything. Long story short, last July the wife and I went out with friends. I had too many shots of Cabo Wabo and after some carnal "exercise" I got an awesome headache. Next morning the puking started. I just thought I had an epic hangover. Finally gave in and went to the hospital 4 days later. 3 days and an MRI after that my doc says "you have a vascular abnormality" and are being transferred. The neurosurgeon at the next hospital tells me I've had a brain bleed and need surgery immediately. (They go in through your groin and up your spinal artery to get to your head) 1 year, 3 surgeries, 23 platinum coils, and getting fired for exceeding FMLA later, my 11mm baby is almost fixed. I'll find out in 8 months if the coil packs hold. I'm lucky, same thing took my next door neighbor's life 3 weeks ago. RIP Patty. Love the site. - Mike

A golf cart is a small vehicle designed originally to carry two golfers and their golf clubs around a golf course or on desert trails with less effort than walking. When purpose-built for general transportation these are called Neighborhood Electric Vehicles, but with various operating limitations such as top speed and heavy regulation on which type of streets these types of carts are permitted to be used. These may resemble the golf carts shown above, although some are now being made with all-weather car-like bodies. Golf carts are now taking on an extreme nature, being highly modified from their original configuration to perform similar to the growing popularity of the Side by Side UTV.

New Year's Eve is a major social holiday for many people in the United States. Many people hold parties at home or attend special celebrations to celebrate the upcoming New Year. In many cities, large scale public events are held and these often attract thousands of people. A particularly striking aspect of the New Year's Eve festivities is the ball drop in Times Square in Manhattan, New York City. The ball is made of crystal and electric lights and is placed on top of a pole, which is 77 feet high. At one minute before midnight on December 31, the ball is lowered slowly down the pole. It comes to rest at the bottom of the pole at exactly midnight, and the event is shown on television across the United States and around the world. This year, December 31st 2015 will fall on a Thursday.

ss109 avaialble at your local walmart - check inventory online



March 3, 2015

Of Course If This Were Alabama, It'd Just Be Hotter Than Your Sister.

As you've probably heard by now, the diligent public servants dumb shits at the BATFE announced their intent to ban some common flavors of AR-15 ball ammo, ostensibly because of its "armor piercing" capability. By the way, it's ammo that's been around since 1980. Sound fucking crazy? It is. The proposed ban would bar law-abiding citizens from purchasing popular M855 ammo for their AR-15s by re-categorizing the ammunition as "armor piercing," then outlawing it under the auspices of the Gun Control Act of 1968. “We are looking at additional ways to protect our brave men and women in law enforcement, and believe that this process is valuable for that reason alone.” That's the pronouncement from Josh Earnest, the White House Press Secretary Dumbfuck Mouthpiece, when he was asked about the BATFE's proposed ban of M855 5.56/.223 ammunition. Turns out this proposed ban has been in the works for years -- even before Sandy Hook. Never mind what the physicians think or the fact that of the billions of M855 rounds bought since it was adopted in 1980, there have been zero -- AS IN NOT ONE -- occurrence of law enforcement officer wounded or killed when an M855 round penetrated their vest.

So I Ernie, Lord of the Internet, am asking you to do me a solid. I'm asking you to get personally involved by contacting your elected officials ask them to protest this madness. Seriously, the only thing accomplished by even the whiff of a ban, is another civilian arms race akin to what happened after Sandy Hook.

"At exactly 2:35 a.m. the assault begin. To sharpshooters each armed with a long range high powered rifles and night vision, fired shots at the centuries. Both rifleman at their marks, killing the armed guards. Exactly three minutes later a plane flew overhead at twenty thousand feet. Twenty-five Navy SEALs parachuted from the plane and landed within the confines of the farm community. Five of the SEALs landed on the roof. After confirming the centuries were dead, they infiltrated the farm house and made their way down to the room that held the arsenal. Upon reaching the armory, a bomb specialist cut the fuse linking the arsenal to the outside rooms. At 2:53 a.m. the Navy SEALs poised outside your gas into the farmhouse. At 2:54 loudspeakers announced that people should exit the farmhouse slowly, their hands raised above their heads. The SEALs had been given orders not to fire unless fired upon." [Excerpt from Tolerance by Robert Fuld]

Hey Ernie, The words on the dress are from Desigual, a fashion label out of Spain. Cheers! Matt H in Ottawa, Canada.

Hi Ernie. This store is across the street from my office. Andrew.

Its backward on purpose. Its Desigual. You owe me a man card punch because I got caught looking at woman's clothing by the ol' lady and me trying to explain the topless pic, looking at dresses….Anyways, you get the idea. -Ryan

A little bit of Italian trivia for you today. First, Lido is an Italian word for beach and forms part of the place name of several Italian seaside towns known for their beach, for example "Lido di Venezia," the barrier beach enclosing the Lagoon of Venice. On a cruise ship or ocean liner, the deck with outdoor pools and the surrounding facilities are often designated the lido deck. This term has come down to us from the early days of transatlantic steamship travel. European steamship lines, in the era of multi-class ocean travel, coined the phrase Lido Deck to refer to the pool and sun deck area exclusively for use by first-class passengers.

Second, Parma Football Club is an Italian professional football club based in Parma, Emilia-Romagna that competed in Serie A in the 2014-15 season, having finished in sixth position last season. Founded as Parma Foot Ball Club in December 1913, the club has played its home matches in the 27,906-seat Stadio Ennio Tardini, often referred to as simply Il Tardini, since 1923. Although Parma Footballhas never won a domestic league title and never competed for major trophies until the 1990s, it has won three Italian Cups, one Supercoppa Italiana, two UEFA Cups, one European Super Cup and one UEFA Cup Winners' Cup.

Now, get out there and show me where hole 14 is a par 5.


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March 2, 2015

I'm Formerly Obese, Too. Also, Formerly An Alcoholic And Former Chronic Masturbator.

The Lincoln Blackwood was a luxuriously-trimmed version of the Ford F-150 Crew Cab pickup truck, and was greeted with enthusiasm after its debut at the North American International Auto Show in January 1999. Lincoln's success with the Lincoln Navigator emboldened the company to pursue the first-ever luxury pickup truck, and Cadillac was in hot pursuit with the Cadillac Escalade EXT. The Blackwood shared components from many Fords, and Lincolns, the body was from an F150, the front fenders and hood were from a Lincoln Navigator, but there were some unique parts on it, such as the bed with a power tonneau cover, with stainless steel box lining.

A tankard is a form of drinkware consisting of a large, roughly cylindrical, drinking cup with a single handle. Tankards are usually made of silver, pewter, or glass, but can be made of other materials, for example wood, ceramic or leather. A tankard may have a hinged lid, and tankards featuring glass bottoms are also fairly common. Tankards are shaped and used similarly to beer steins. Metal tankards were popular in 18th and early 19th century Britain and Ireland, but were largely superseded by glass vessels. They are now seen as collector's items, or may be engraved and presented as a gift.

Okay, so I've searched both the Ukrainian and Cyrillic alphabets, neither of which use a backwards S. So is it possible this image is reversed and it's a backwards lowercase G instead?

And Love Said No The Greatest Hits 1997–2004 is a greatest hits compilation by Finnish band HIM. It contains two unreleased songs: "And Love Said No" and "Solitary Man", the latter of which is a Neil Diamond cover. The British version also has a re-recorded version of "It's All Tears (Drown In This Love)". The digipak version of this album comes with a DVD with six songs live at Semifinal Club in Helsinki. The And Love Said No box set LP contained the band's first four studio albums on vinyl along with the "Wicked Game" single.

Ernie, Have had this nuke link for years and it's still up Any City and Any Yield you want. Regards, Tom

This looks like it might be up you alley: Interesting perspective from French soldiers persepective. TJ in Oklahoma

You've survived long, cold (nuclear) winter months, and now all we want is the sunshine and the warm weather that spring brings. To cope with everyone's longing for spring, Cabela's is hosting a Spring Fever event that will have all spring outdoor gear at unbeatable prices -- Spring Fever Save up to 70% at Cabela's plus free shipping on orders over $99!

Gold'n Canola is an everyday range of spread and cooking oils made from canola seed oil that provides families with a source of essential Omega 3 nutrients. It is an everyday family brand that appeals to consumers who recognise the benefits of canola oil in providing omega nutrients, which promote general health and well being. Gold'n Canola spreads have the Heart Foundation Tick of Approval.


February 28, 2015

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

Colonel Paul Green, member of Tuskegee Airmen, died earlier this week at the age of 91

so what would happen if an 800 kiloton nuclear warhead detonated above midtown manhattan?

hitler, batman's penis, s&m teddy bears - the most wildly inappropriate children's toys of all time

your weekend boob dump: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - ELEVEN - twelve - thirteen


February 27, 2015

He Doesn't Even have To Ask, He KNOWS He's A Good Boy.

Englander Sleep Products has spent decades mastering the art and science of sleep, and they design that experience into every mattress they make. It shows in their advanced foam technology, state-of-the-art design, and the value and quality they offer at every price point. But most of all, it shows in the support, durability, and deep, restful sleep that has been Englander's trademark for more than a century. You'll not only sleep better, you'll feel the difference all day long. But don't take their word for it. When a nationwide chain of sleep medicine facilities needed the best mattress value they could, they chose Englander. Still not convinced? Then give us the only test that matters. Lie down on one of their mattresses and you'll experience what it took their sleep engineers years to master... Better sleep, by design.

SPOILER ALERT: AMC's The Walking Dead has had scenes of: a child murderer, children being murdered, cannibalism, faces stomped and strained through a chain link fence, and countless forms of torture. But in Season 5's Episode 11, the story crossed the fuking line for some people. When the dainty little n00b Aaron -- the series' first gay male character -- reunites with his boyfriend, Eric, they share a kiss after discovering the other is still alive. This of course ignited a firestorm of offensive and angry reactions from both redneck and homeboy fans a like. Of course, the kiss should've come as no surprise to true fans since both Aaron and Eric are out gay characters in the comics, but let's be honest, how many of these people actually read anything beyond the 140 characters allowed by Twitter?

Rockfest is an outdoor, hard rock music festival held annually at the Liberty Memorial by Kansas City radio station KQRC-FM 98.9 the Rock since 1992. As of 2010, it was considered to be North America's largest one-day music festival. Major bands such as Godsmack, Staind, Seether, Stone Temple Pilots, Korn and Alice in Chains have all headlined Rockfest. The large size and rain or shine ethos of the concert has led to community disputes regarding its continuation.

For this next challenge, I'd be impressed if you can even find the fucking gallery these tw pictures belong to, let a lone the Albertsons and AM/PM stores she is standing outside of. I can't find shit on either photo, even after blowing them up to find clues -- which I can't find any useful ones, by the way. So shit, anything here makes you a winner.

Hi Ernie. Hey, we just had about an inch of rain here in Vegas, and the mountains are covered in snow. Pretty cool. And the hot babe looking out the window is at the TI. Speaking of TI, It used to be called Treasure Island and had a huge skull and crossbones on the marque. The Asians would not go there because it reminded them of death. You can see him staring up at you at the Neon boneyard by satellite. Take Care. Eric

Dear Ernie, Im not sure if thats a safe or not. It looks like a phone/security system access box, perhaps? I used to have an apartment with a similiar box in the closet. Never used it or gave it much mind, and I didnt have much luck with a google search of AMB, so Im out of ideas. Matt

Yeah, that's Easy, it's from the former "Bill's Gambling Hall" which is now the upscale Cromwell boutique hotel, whatever that is, right next to the Flamingo on that corner of Flamingo Rd & the Strip. Tom

HURRY, WONT LAST LONG!!!!! 5.56MM 62GR GREEN TIP PMC X-TAC RIFLE AMMUNITION M855 SS109 - $9.99/20 ROUND BOX

In 2011, Olympus Corporation gained coverage in global media when it fired its newly appointed British chief executive Michael Woodford, a 30 year Olympus veteran, and Olympus' president and chief operating officer, who had sought to probe financial irregularities and unexplained payments of hundreds of millions of dollars following his appointment as CEO. Although the board initially dismissed Woodford's concerns via mass media as being "disruptive" actions and Woodford as failing to grasp local culture, the matter quickly snowballed into an Olympus Corporate corruption scandal over concealment f more than 117.7 billion Yen ($1.5 billion) of investment losses and other dubious fees and other payments dating back to the late 1980s and suspicion of covert payments to criminal organizations.

I am absolutely positive this photo was taken right here.


ERNIE CAM

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