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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
November 21, 2014

Let's bring Em Home Has Completed 38 Airline Tickets So Far.


You know, with everyone having their own mobile phones, it's a wonder phone booths even exist anymore.

When a girl you've just had sex with reveals she was born with both a cock and a box, but says she, "did not lie to him per se," you'd probably be in rehab, too.

Tracking down Benny's market is easy, it's located in Torrance, California. Almost too easy. So stepping things up a notch, what bar did these three girls just come out of? I Googled the telephone number on the security placards, which led me to Expansiva Seguridad, and popping that page into Google Translate gives me you get Mataro (Barcelona) in the Contact section, and given Mataro'sclose proximity to Barcelona, my hunch is the bar is somewhere in downtown Barcelona. Especially since on the door there's a sign written in three languages (catering to tourists) which reads, "Please respect the rest of the neighbors. Thank you."

Dear Sir Ernie, Like you, I'm enjoying all the massive snowfall from Florida. Anyway, I think that background movie isn't a movie, it looks to me like Eric Bischoff from the WCW doing some corny royalty wrestling bit. Just my 2 cents. Your loyal minion, Matt

Looking to feed your hungry AK, or preparing for the riots that should kick off on a few hours? You can pick up some 700 rounds of Romanian 7.62x39 123GR FMJ in sealed spam can for $139 until the end of November, or until their supply runs out.

Given the canouflage pants and knockoff Crocs, my first thought was a Walmart shoppper, but I don't think this is an American made car. Any idea what kind of car she's vacuuming out?

November 20, 2014

Oh, Like You Don't Miss The 80's Too.

If you were as throuroughly entertained by Guardians of the Galaxy as I was, you'll be delighted to know -- that today and today only -- you can get the entire soundtrack for free on Google Play. This will of course allow you to challenge your own friends to a Starlord worthy dance off of your own, and if you're lucky, your own Rocket sidekick. I am also excited at the prospect of a Howard the Duck movie, and while I still think Lea Thompson looks terrific for her age, we have to be brutally honest with ourselves and accept she's not going to look the same as she used to.

Tuborg is a Danish brewing company founded in 1873 by Carl Frederik Tietgen, which initially produced pale lager for the Danish market. It merged with United Breweries in 1894, which then entered into a profit-sharing agreement with Carlsberg in 1903. In 1970, United Breweries was acquired by Carlsberg. Today, it makes lager for global export, as well as a variety of continental styles for both domestic and foreign markets. Part of the brand's success in Russia has come from its strong links to music in Eastern Europe and by being one of the first beers in the market to launch the innovative ring pull cap.

Here is anything and everything you could hope to know about ALL THE BLACK FRIDAY DEALS THIS YEAR.

Binion's has been making Las Vegas history since 1951 when Texas gambler, Benny Binion, bought the property at 128 Fremont Street. Benny was passionate about giving players excitement, good odds and friendly service, or as he would say - Good Food. Good Whiskey. Good Gamble. Though downtown Las Vegas has evolved since the days of Benny Binion, Benny's enthusiasm still remains at the historic casino and has been picked up by the current owner, TLC Casino Enterprises, that purchased the property in March 2008. Binion's Cafe is a downtown classic and an instant favorite by everyone who has tried one. Every single Binions Hangover Burger is made daily at Binion's Butcher Shop, never frozen and prepared to order.

Here is the location of that bus stop, its on the 2600 Blk of Wilshire Blvd, in Santa Monica Ca. Rick

Ernie, The bus stop location is here, the tan building in the background is 2530 Wilshire Blvd. The chicks name is Veronica Weston, and you can see more of her here. By the way, LOVED what you did for November 10. Semper Fi, Tim

This is a bus stop near the intersection of Wilshire Blvd. and 26th Street in Santa Monica, CA. The odd shaped sign in the background is for Ursula's Costumes. Fun fact, behind Ursula's Costumes, in the same building, there used to be a "massage parlor". The entrance was in the back parking lot. There was a long time tradition of going to The Shack (next door to Ursula's) for drinks and to watch sports, and then to quietly slip out the back, go to the "massage parlor" to relieve some tension, and be back in time to watch the last quarter. The Shack saw many a business deal cemented in just that manner over the years. The Shack and Ursula's are still there. The parlor, sadly, is gone. The victim of one of the many do gooders in Santa Monica and the changing nature of doing business in America. Ahhhh, the good old days. Nick S.

And while there are still no takers on identifying this movie in the background, here's a softball: translate this wall hanging.

I am very happy to be post this awesome (NSFW!) gallery of the beautiful Kristen Pyles courtesy of Playboy Plus. Kristen has a lovely face along with a stunning, all-natural figure that's just perfect. She looks amazing in (and out!) of everything, and here they have her in some sexy lingerie outfits. She's also done some glamour work as Hailee Rain as well.

The Qiang is the Chinese term for spear. Due to its relative ease of manufacture, the spear in many variations was ubiquitous on the pre-modern Chinese battlefield. Common features of the Chinese spear are the leaf shaped blade and red horse-hair tassel lashed just below. The tassel shows elite troop status. It also serves a tactical purpose. When the spear is moving quickly, the addition of the tassel aids in blurring the vision of the opponent so that it is more difficult for them to grab the shaft of spear behind the head or tip. The tassel also served another purpose, to stop the flow of blood from the blade getting to the wooden shaft; the blood would make it slippery, or sticky when dried. Many Chinese martial arts feature spear training in their curriculum. The conditioning provided by spear technique is seen as invaluable and in many styles it is the first weapons training introduced to students.

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November 19, 2014

The Best Part About Early Winter Storms, Is Watching Them On Television.

Lake-effect snow is produced during cooler atmospheric conditions when cold winds move across long expanses of warmer lake water, providing energy and picking up water vapor, which freezes and is deposited on the leeward shores. The effect is enhanced when the moving air mass is uplifted by the orographic influence of higher elevations on the downwind shores. This uplifting can produce narrow but very intense bands of precipitation, which deposit at a rate of many inches of snow each hour, often resulting in copious snowfall totals. And having grown up in Rochester, right on the southern border of Lake Ontario and kissing cousin to Buffalo, I don't miss this shit at all.

Am I the only one who didn't know that today, November 19th, was National Buy Ammo Day? No seriously, I'm not fucking kidding. The website explains, "There are an estimated 75 MILLION gun owners in the United States of America. If each gun owner or Second Amendment supporter buys 100 rounds of ammunition, that's 7.5 BILLION rounds in the hands of law-abiding citizens!" So fuck man, do your part and shit, because you're not always going to have gummy bears available top make bullets with.

Trying to identify television shows in the background is always a good challenge. For example, here are some Barry White lyrics "Girl, I don't know, I don't know why" superimposed over Dean Winchester from Supernatural, so I can tell you she's watching Season 2 Episode 15, Tall Tales. Great show, by the way, here's their season 9 gag reel, too. Now more to the point, can any of you tell me what animated (?) movie is on television here?

Hey Ern, Hope I am not too late with this one... The photo you posted of the blonde flashing her tits is at Casa Bahia Restarant Bar at the Zihuatanejo Yacht Club in Zihuatanejo, Mexico. I believe that is where Andy escaped to in The Shawshank Redemtion. I amost gave you the Casa Bahia Hotel in Nicaragua but after finding this YouTube video, I saw the name over the door. The video starts at the exactly where she showed us her goodies and then pans over the door. Johnny

The police are a part of the working class who gets a surprising amount of hate since they're actually community servants. Mostly because those who are more visible, just like in any domain of this world, are the negative ones. But maybe it's better to look on the bright side, so here are some pictures that show that cops are human beings, just like us.

The Big Mac is a hamburger sold by McDonald's, an international fast food restaurant chain. It was introduced in the metropolitan area of Pittsburgh in 1967, nationwide in 1968, and has become one of the company's signature products. In 2012, McDonald's admitted that the special sauce ingredients were "not really a secret" because the recipe had been available online for years. It consists of store-bought mayonnaise, sweet pickle relish and yellow mustard whisked together with vinegar, garlic powder, onion powder and paprika.

Hi Ernie, the location is U Rokytky, in Prague, Czech Republic, You think they are going to the Kokytky but I think they are headed to the ZIPO bar. Rick

Additionally, I shall require someone to find me exactly where this bus stop is located.

When the time came for filmmaker Luke Aker to sell his beloved 1996 Nissan Maxima, he couldn't let it go without a proper goodbye, so he created this hilarious ad. Once Nissan saw his brilliant video, they knew we had to do their part to help Luke's land-yacht live on! So they bought it and, based on fan suggestions, restored it to its former glory. Who better to help Nissan reveal the refreshed 1996 Maxima than its previous owner? Presenting Aker's fully restored Maxima GLE Sport Sedan. You're welcome.

November 18, 2014

Even Captain Mal Can't Make The Idea Of Captain Canada Any Less Ridiculous.

I thought, "Oh, I'm good at Risk so this should be easy." Wrong. Mainland Wars is harder than it looks.

Norman Perceval Rockwell was a 20th-century American painter and illustrator. His works enjoy a broad popular appeal in the United States for their reflection of American culture. Rockwell is most famous for the cover illustrations of everyday life scenarios he created for The Saturday Evening Post magazine for more than four decades.Norman Rockwell recruited Stockbridge neighbors, including state trooper Richard Clemens and 8-year-old Eddie Locke, to model for his 1958 piece titled The Runaway. The Massachussets trooper depicted sitting at a diner with a young boy in Norman Rockwell's iconic painting, died two years ago at age 83.

Cauliflower ear -- complication of hematoma auris, perichondrial hematoma, or traumatic auricular hematoma -- is a condition that occurs when the external portion of the ear suffers a blow, blood clot or other collection of fluid under the perichondrium. This separates the cartilage from the overlying perichondrium that supplies its nutrients, causing it to die and resulting in the formation of fibrous tissue in the overlying skin. As a result, the outer ear becomes permanently swollen and deformed, resembling a cauliflower. The condition is most common among competitors such as boxers, mixed martial artists, professional wrestlers, martial artists, and in full-contact sports such as rugby football.

Okay, TWO CHALLANGES for you today, both are restaurants. I suspect the first one is located somewhere in South America, you have to tell me where.

From the left, the Marine's medals are: Good Conduct, National Defence, and the rest are various campaign medals. On the ribbon side- Combat Action, [?] , Meritorious Unit Commendation, Sea Service Deployment, Recruiting ribbon. The 2nd one looks like the Navy/ Marine Corps Commendation, but that is a medal and would be on the other side with the rest. Barry

Pot has become more than a drug, more than a distraction, it's a whole phenomenon. And while the hippie culture promoted it more than anything in recent history, you will be surprised to hear that people on the territory of modern Romania were already storing charred cannabis seeds over five millenia ago. So then you wonder why their economy isn't so good these days, maybe it's cause at some point they made it illegal? Here are 24 interesting facts about marijuana you probably didn't know.

Here are 20 pieces of creative sushi art which are almost too beautiful to eat. Notice I said almost.

And for the second challenge, see if you can't show me on Streetview exactly where these two guys with the sweet track suits are headed to eat. Here's a close up of the pertinent info.

If you can't find a use for this, you might as well turn in your blogger's badge! Enjoy! Sean

Circa Survive is an American rock band from the Philadelphia suburb of Doylestown, formed in 2004. The band consists of former members from Saosin, This Day Forward, and Taken. The band quickly made a name for themselves in the indie music scene in little over two years with their first album, Juturna, released on April 9, 2005, and second album, On Letting Go, released on May 29, 2007, both released on Equal Vision Records. On Letting Go entered the U.S. Billboard 200 at #24, selling about 24,000 copies in its first week, due in part to the popularity of the song "Kicking Your Crosses Down" which contained the lyrics, "But we won't be saved, We'll live as slaves to love."

Act quickly for the chance to backorder some CCI Mini-Mags and apply a coupon code for free shipping. I backordered 1000 rounds; and don't worry, they don't charge the credit card until your order actually ships.

Last week, I mentioned the iconic house seen in The Godfather is up for sale. This week, we have pictures because hey, it's only $2.89 million dollars.

November 17, 2014


A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, everyone in my immediate family -- my mother, my father, and both of my brothers -- saw me off to the bus station when I was shipping out to Basic Training. I know, you'd think a tale so fucking awesome as mine, would have me flying off on a Learjet 60, right? No, my Air Force story began with a beat up old Greyhound bus to Buffalo, NY. It faintly stunk of vomit, stale cigarettes, and body odor. The bus, that is, not Buffalo. Although to be honest, I'm pretty sure Buffalo does, too. I remember my father bawling his eyes out -- he has always been much more emotional than my mother -- as my legs warily carried me up the bus stairs and to the side of the bus that faced the passenger terminal, so I could see my family one more time through the waterspot riddled glass. We had the quintessential hand pressed against the glass moment as the bus pulled out of the depot, and just like that, my adolescence gasped one final breath before sliding off into that great unknown. I don't remember much of the hour long bus ride from Rochester to Buffalo, it was rather unremarkable except for the candy and trail mix filled bag my mother packed to sustain me throughout the arduous hour long trip to Buffalo, but I do remember pulling into the small government contracted no-tell-motel near the airport. It didn't exactly look like a pay-by-the-hour place, but the Ritz-Carlton, it was not. There were lots of young kids such as myself, standing around outside of the hotel check in, gym bags at their feet, all doing their best to make small talk without looking too awkward and out of place. The Greyhound hissed to a stop and without much ado, I shuffled my feet across the faded yellow line at the front of the bus, and took up my place at the back of the line heading into the hotel check-in.

And I would soon find that arriving late to the party had its perks; by the time I made my way through the line and checked in, all of the double occupancy room were filled. So instead of having to share my room with a complete stranger like the rest of those pleebs, I was the only person processing through the Buffalo MEPS to have a single room all to myself, king size bed included. I remember the room was very white: white sheets, white blanket, white coverlet, white walls, white sink, white towels, white tiled floor, white shower, white toilet. It just all seemd very sterile and void of character. I remember the sheets were very, very tight across the lower half of the bed, so much so that if you didn't make a conscious effort to fight it, otherwise the sheets would pin your feet sideways. The cheap hotel clock had green LED numbers; the first one of those I would ever see, oddly enough. All the other LED clocks I'd ever seen up until that point were red. I remember setting the alarm for an unspeakably early hour -- 4am, was it? -- and calling down to the front desk for a wake up call, just in case. "Christ," I thought, "can you imagine oversleeping and missing my flight to basic training?" That wouldn't set a very good stage. I fought the tight sheets one more time, kicking my feet a bit to loosen them up, stretched out in a bed twice the size of the one I was used to sleeping in when I grew up, and tried to fall asleep. I counted far too many minutes off that green LED clock, before the Sandman finally decided to grace me with his presence. Less than twelve hours later I would be lost in a 60-man bay at Lackland Air Force Base, in San Antonio, Texas, getting my ass chewed by one neatly mustached Sergeant Donald Skaggs, USAF.

I tell you this little story because I don't think you ever really forgets their Shipping Off To Basic story. In fact I was reading some guy's post on Facebook about how when he flew out of [some airport] in Texas, and as the plane climbed higher and higher, he just stared out the window, his eyes fixated on the water tower that serviced his local town. He reasoned that as long as he could still see that tower, he hadn't truly left home yet.

I really wanted to touch upon this on Veteran's Day because I'm sure those of you who have served, or are still serving, can tell me a similar coming-of-age experience your of own. But thanks to some shitty scheduling on my part, I had company down last week and I couldn't devote myself to a genuine writing session. I just figured I'd hold off until I had the time to give LBEH its proper pomp and circumstance, rather than half-ass it on day one. So I dunno, I guess that's sort of my pitch this year; to remember. To remember what it was like when you were a scared snot-nosed pimple-faced kid with a gym bag full of civilian clothes in one hand, and a half crumpled airline ticket in the other. To remember when that bus pulled through the gates of whatever military installation you were lucky enough to go through basic training at, to hear the sound of the door being forced open, followed by those boots stomping their way up the bus stairs. To sit on a concrete floor and nervously look around at a room full of people all dressed like you, and yet never feel so alone in your entire life. Everyone in uniform -- and I mean everyone, whether they happen to be 3 or 30 year veterans -- started out in the exact same fashion; scared shitless.

And so it was...cough...cough...kjkkjtwentykjkuefkjsftwovejcwkl...cough...cough years ago that I climbed on that bus, I still remember it like it was yesterday. I guess the important stuff, you always do, right? And so I remember the stuff that came after it, too. Settling into a routine. Making friends. The relief of graduating. Your second round of panic as you ship off to tech school/AIT. Settling into a routine again. Your third round of panic as you ship off to your first duty station. Making more friends, or if you're really lucky, seeing some old ones. And of course, your first time on leave and seeing that old water tower again. The look of pride in your father's eyes at the airport. Realizing how much you took recognizing street signs for granted. The intangible comfort of your mother's cooking and gorging yourself until your stomach creaks. Seeing your friends' parents who now seem to treat you with some newfound respect. And of course, staring dumbfounded at how small your old bedroom looks.

So I'm not asking you to get all broken up about this, but yes, this year I'm asking you to remember what it was like for you to push past your fear, and ship off to basic military training. To remember the only thing greater than the fear of going off to do it, was the sense of relief from coming home afterwards. Because right now, as you're reading this, there are Soldiers, Airmen, Sailor, and Marines looking to make their way home for the Christmas season. And some of them will surely make it, but some of them will not. And the latter are not because they don't want to, but because they can't afford to. It is with these folks in mind why we created Let's Bring Em Home in the winter of 2001. As an avenue for us the American public-at-large to extend personal thank you to our nation's newly minted warriors by giving them a gift of spending time with their own families during the holidays. So yes, this is my annual plea. So this is it. The one time a year where I solicit, I ask for, I plead for, I beg for donations. The time a year to go into your wallet and drum up a few bucks to put towards these servicemembers' airfare home so they can spend the holidays the same way we do. You know I make it work. You know I stretch these donations as far as I can. And you know I only buy tickets for those who are both deserving and appreciative of our support. So please, don't blow me off. Don't say you'll do it tomorrow, because you won't. Bust out that checkbook or log into Paypal and send a few bucks our way. I will make every dollar -- every TAX DEDUCTIBLE DOLLAR, I might add -- count. Thank you in advance for your continued support!

Been following since the stick figures, sometime middle 2001, just before 9/11. I’m very disappointed in the November 12, 2014 post…not one single link to LBEH… John P.S. It’s early morning the next day, I’ve been drinking all day again…I may have misspoken because I’m dunk…don’t flame me…just put out more LBEH links…it’s the best cause in the world I will donate every year until I die.

Today's post was for you, John. Thanks you for your continued support, and in this case, your patience.

It's a known fact that half of the Internet is porn or porn-related content. So then it's only natural that porn is also the most profitable industry in the world. Even more profitable than the National Football League, the National Basketball Association and Major League Baseball. However, this only goes for the US, since in North Korea just for watching a couple of minutes of pornography you would be sentenced to death. And speaking of the North Koreansd, did you know that if the North Koreans detonated their most powerful nuclear bomb at the top of the Empire State Building, the blast wouldn't even reach Central Park?

Ernie, I had a co-worker that just moved to So. Calif. with her twin sister. She was limited to what she could carry in her car till her "Pod" was delivered. She was at the local laundromat and noticed the sign on the wall. "Juan Cruz, Attendant on Duty". I guess Juan likes dogs too....that can see an eye. PS....I posted a link to LBEH.com on my Facebook page and I'll keep bumpin' up it till the end of the Holiday season. Rock on Ernie!! Terry "Tbone", Lake Stevens, Wa.

I believe it was Justin Timberlake who said -- and I'll admit I'm paraphrasing a littl ebit here -- "first we lived outdoors, then we moved into cities, now we live on the internet." But even though we live on the internet now, there are still plenty of surprising facts out there about our home that most of us knew nothing about. In that vein, here are nine crazy internet facts that might surprise even the most hardened and cynical information superhighwayman. Read all of them, and maybe it will change the way you approach your life on the world wide web.

And those of you fluent in Italian can double check me on this one. Google reports that "c'e' più gusto ad essere italiani" roughly translates to "there is more taste when youre be Italian." How close is it?

Ernie, you are a rock star, love the site. Here is a video that shows that Syrian video of the kid was fake. Keep up the great work! James

And if you're looking for some inexpensive stocking stuffers (or Syrian?) might I suggest the Simmons 1x20mm 5-MOA RedDot Illuminated Scope for under $16 -- and you get free shipping on orders of at least $35. Bet your life on it? Certainly not. Great el'cheapo scope that you can stick on your plinker to teach someone how to shoot? You betcha.

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