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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
July 29, 2014

'Cause Truman Was Too Much Of A Pussy Wimp To Let MacArthur Go In There And Blow Out Those Commie Bastards!

The son of an Italian immigrant tailor, Thornton Melon is a rags-to-riches story. His ambition is to go into his father's line of work, but his father reprimands Thornton for his poor schoolwork, and tells him no matter how hardworking, skilled or wealthy one may be, "if a man has got no education, he has got nothing". After his college-student son Jason cancels a visit, Thornton goes home to Vanessa, his second wife. Thornton is a widower and Vanessa is a social climbing gold digger, unable to bear her crude husband. Upon agreeing to a divorce, he threatens to expose her adulterous affairs after she threatens to sue him for half of his net worth. Thornton tells his friend, chauffeur and bodyguard Lou to drive him to Jason's college. It turns out Jason has been keeping secrets from his father. He is not on the Grand Lakes diving team, but instead works as a towel boy, treated badly by star diver Chas Osborn. At the championship dive meet, father and son patch things up and, with a little distraction, Derek fouls up the opposing team's dives, while Chas gives a lackluster effort, followed by a near-perfect performance from Jason. Chas then fakes a cramp out of spite in an effort to make the team lose. This gives the coach an inspiration. He calls upon Thornton, who comes out of the grandstand to perform an “impossible” dive, the legendary "Triple Lindy," to win the meet. A menu item at the Tex-Mex restaurant Moe's Southwest Grill is called "The Triple Lindy" in honor of Melon's ficticious dive. Behind the scenes, one of the last shots in the opening montage is of Rodney Dangerfield golfing; this was taken directly from his first film, Caddyshack. But holding a little more influence than he did in his earlier films, Rodney Dangerfield always looked out for younger comedic talents; as such he was a big proponent for Sam Kinison's part as the crazed professor.

Ladies, protect your hair from heat styling damage and environmental stress with Citre Shine Shine Miracle Aerosol Shine Serum. Its advanced luminating technologies infused with pure citrus extracts create a natural boost of pure lamination for incredibly shiny hair. The Citre' Shine Serum is specially formulated with a custom blend of vitamins, silicones and a UV protectant that locks in a brilliant shine, controls frizz and flyaways, leaving hair protected from heat styling damage and environmental stress.

Anyway. The upcoming Family Guy/Simpsons crossover episode features Family Guy‘s Griffin family stumbling upon the town of Springfield and hanging out with the yellow family that inspired them. The trailer, naturally, focuses on Peter spending time with Homer, and Stewie meeting Bart -- and by the way, leave it to Stewie to take it to the next level. But presumably there will be all kinds of cross-pollination between the two franchises happening, which will be a Family Guy episode, not a Simpsons one.

And it looks like a few people were able to identify the mystery bottle from yesterday, but first, the next photo challenge. I'm not so sure anyone will be able to solve. I spent about 20 minutes on it, and so far no dice. But I suspect that's due in part, to the locale; the car on the left is an MG (popular in Britain) and has a wide license plate. So I'm guessing somewhere in the UK, I think? I tried a little CSI zoom-and-enhance on the sign in the background and I *think* it reads something to the effect of "HONEYWOOD ROXY"? lots of if's in this one, so good luck. ...

Here you go brother. It's actually not a bottled drink, but olive oil. Cameron

It loos like the bottle of "La Sansa" is olive oil (My sisters hot ass friends used to use it to get tan.) It also looks like it is a subsidiary of "Olitalia", maybe. I found this pic on an online store. It is missing the red on the label but they make lots of varieties of oils and it looks like it maybe an older bottle - -Ryan

It never occured to me it might be olive oil because I always thought that's the same as sitting under a magnifying glass, and you might as well rub melanoma directly onto your skin. Turns out I'm sorta right. You're not supposed to rub it on your skin, you're supposed to ingest it; to the tune of two teaspoons per day, according to the Jews. I dunno, I guess I just think olive oil should remain in the kitchen, where it's best suited.

Speaking of... a whisk is a cooking utensil used in food preparation to blend ingredients smooth, or to incorporate air into a mixture, in a process known as whisking or whipping. Most whisks consist of a long, narrow handle with a series of wire loops joined at the end. The wires are usually metal, but some are plastic for use with nonstick cookware. I haven't decided if the person who left those marks is doing it wrong, or doing it very, very right.

Roswell is an American science fiction television series developed, produced, and co-written by Jason Katims. The series debuted on October 6, 1999 on The WB and moved to UPN for the third season. The last episode aired May 14, 2002. In the United Kingdom, the show aired as both Roswell High and Roswell. The show starred Shiri Appleby as Liz Parker, Jason Behr as Max Evans, Katherine Heigl as Isabel Evans, and Brendan Fehr as Michael Guerin. The series is based on the Roswell High young adult book series, written by Melinda Metz and edited by Laura J. Burns, who became staff writers for the television series.

Ernie, I got to live in Ottawa Ontario for five years. The Popeye's cup from your 23 July post is from a supplement shop in Canada, not the tasty chicken joint. Kevin

Hey Ernie, That ar-15 lower company you posted about last year has gone tits up. The guy had a hard time keeping his customers in the loop about what was going on with the progress of the business, made several statements that turned out to be false and has finally pulled the plug. I think he was in over his head from day one. I guess the old saying hold true, buyer beware. Scott

The post that Scott is referring to was from an email back in from December 18, 2013, "Ern – In case you haven't been keeping up with the Rocket Hub startup funding project for Gun Vault, they have exceeded their goal of $50,000. Best regards, Gary" -- WOW. Those dude just raked in almost $90k and then punched the fuck out. See that's why I'm always leery about giving money to those crowd funded startup campaigns. The last one I donated money to was Karen the school bus monitor when the total was around $12k... had I known it was going to go all the way up to $700k? Fuck that, I'd have kept my $50. Which is why personally, I kind of like to stick with the more established companies. For example: the Sig Sauer Scorpion 1911 has an MSRP of $1,213. But right now GunBuyer is running a hell of a sale: both the Sig Scorpion AND a Sig Mosquito (MSRP $426) shipped to your FFL for AN INCREDIBLE $949. That's fucking unhead of, especially when you consider Sig is still running their two free mags and pistol bag deal.

The Oldsmobile Achieva was introduced for the 1992 model year and was a front-wheel drive, compact car based on the GM N-body platform which it also shared with its siblings the Pontiac Grand Am and Buick Skylark. The Achieva was first seen as a concept car at the 1991 Chicago Auto Show and was said to replace Oldsmobile's compact Calais models. The Calais and Achieva both share the same basic front wheel drive GM N-body architecture including identical wheelbase length. The Achieva started regular production for the 1992 model year; the S as the standard model has a 120-horsepower 2.3-liter Quad OHC 4-cylinder.

Meanwhile, in Saudi Arabia.

July 28, 2014

I Would Have To Imagine That Turned Out To Be A Really Strange Interview.

Okay I thought I was going to have two photo challenges for you today, but I ended up solving one. It took me about 15 minutes worth of Google-Fu, but was worth it in the end. So I don't spoil the fun too early, I'll just simply ask you to ask where this photo was taken. Solution at the bottom of this post!

Kerrang! Radio is a specialist rock music radio station broadcasting across the United Kingdom on DAB and Freeview. Until June 2013 the station was available on FM in the West Midlands, England. The station's format mixes modern & classic rock with speech programmes targeted at young people and an adult rock audience. Kerrang! Radio is connected with the Kerrang! print magazine in name, ownership and style, although the radio station has a more mainstream adult rock output than the magazine, featuring more indie and alternative rock.

Did you know the Playboy Mansion is the only house in Los Angeles with a firework and zoo permit? Here are 19 bizarre facts about Hugh Heffner and Playboy Magazine. And yeah, this is Hugh's third wife, Crystal Hefner. You're welcome.

A seawall is a form of coastal defense constructed where the sea, and associated coastal processes, impact directly upon the landforms of the coast. The purpose of a seawall is to protect areas of human habitation, conservation and leisure activities from the action of tides and waves. Seawalls may be constructed from a variety of materials, most commonly: reinforced concrete, boulders, steel, or gabions. Additional seawall construction materials may include: vinyl, wood, aluminium, fibreglass composite, and with large biodegrable sandbags made of jute and coir.

Tropicana Field is home to the Tampa Bay Rays, but it's also home to the “Fan vs. Food” burger, a 4-pound grilled behemoth that also acts as a standing challenge to anyone who might be visiting Tropicana's Brew House restaurant. Yeah, how in the hell Mexico surpassed us as the fattest fucking country in the world, I'll never know.

There turned out to be several people able to identify this water bottle, but the first among them were...

Just saw this tonight, so just in case no one else found it, it's Deer Park. Link has pictures of both bottle designs. -Frank

Het Big Ern, regarding the water bottle photo challenge: Like any good soldier, Sgt. Sugar Tits is following U.S Military fluid replacement guidelines by drinking Deer Park Brand Natural Spring Water. Ray

In the meantime, I tried to identify the maker of this bottled drink, but no luck! La Sansa? La Sausa? La Sanka? I can't quite make it out, and all my 'sansa' searches turn up that treasonous Stark bitch.

Anthropomorphism is attribution of human form or other characteristics to anything other than a human being. Examples include ascribing human emotions or motives to forces of nature, such as hurricanes or earthquakes. Most cultures have traditional fables with anthropomorphised animals, which can look or talk like humans, as characters.

The coconut tree is a large palm, growing up to 100 feet tall, with pinnate leaves 13–20 ft long, old leaves break away cleanly, leaving the trunk smooth. Coconut trunks are used for building small bridges and huts; they are preferred for their straightness, strength, and salt resistance. In Kerala, coconut trunks are used for house construction. Coconut timber comes from the trunk, and is increasingly being used as an ecologically sound substitute for endangered hardwoods. It has applications in furniture and specialized construction, as notably demonstrated in Manila's Coconut Palace.

Minor league bro strikes out. Minor league bro shoves the opposing catcher. Minor league bro throws his helmet at the opposing catcher. Minor league bro runs. Minor league bro gets tackled, HARD. Hey life could be worse, you could get schooled by Frankie Muniz.

Okay, okay, okay. getting back to identifying the location of this photo. First I did Google Maps search for corner jackson and mckinley and came up with this list. So now I had some target area, I just had to figure out which one. I could StreetView each of them, but that'd take too long. I did some image searching and was able to find another pic of the completely nude girl, standing next to this real estate sign. Some quick research on the 916 area code revealed it to be in Sacramento, California. Sure enough, here we are on Jackson Court and looking down McKinley Street, and if that pickup truck wasn't in the way, here's the house that was for sale.. And see this newly planted tree just before the stop sign? Well here it is again!

100 Pack - 8" Self-adhesive, Color Reactive Shooting Targets - $25 shipped with 10% off coupon "online"

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July 26, 2014

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

canadian woman with most annoying voice in the world films collapse of an arch shaped iceberg

comicon 2014: 12 nerds caught staring at cosplay girls - 9 things you didn't know about comicon

super low prices on magpul and other accessories + 10% off with coupon "10off" + free shipping

alexandria morgan running in a strapless bra will probably help sell a lot of tom tom gps devices

boobs and such: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - EIGHT - nine - ten - eleven - twelve

July 25, 2014

Hey, Get In Line, Pal.

"It was not clear why Silverman, a doctor for nearly 25 years, was armed at the office. Bernice Ho, a spokeswoman for Mercy Fitzgerald, said Thursday it was against hospital policy for anyone other than security guards to carry weapons."

Okay, another photo challenge: identify this brand of water, and as is customeary for these tough ones, here's a close up of the labels.

Alien: Isolation is an upcoming first-person survival horror stealth game developed by The Creative Assembly and published by Sega, part of the Alien franchise. The game is set in 2137, 15 years after the events of Alien, and follows Amanda, who is investigating the disappearance of her mother Ellen Ripley. A cast reunion from the original movie is happening despite the fact that Alien: Isolation takes place largely 15 years after the events of the original movie, with protagonist Amanda Ripley -- the daughter of Ellen Ripley -- the hero played in the movie (and the game) by Sigourney Weaver; who is aging rather gracefully, by the way. But the game will also feature cutscenes and side-missions that star the original cast – not just Weaver but Tom Skerritt, Yaphet Kotto, Veronica Cartwright, and Harry Dean Stanton.

So I signed my name on number 24! The judge said, "Boy, just one more, I'm gonna throw your ass in the city joint." Looked me in the eye, said, "You get my point?" I say "Yeah!, Oh yeah!" Do you LOVUSA as much as Sarah Palin? Because I don't think you do. Actually, kind of funny, in another article she revealed she was listening to Sammy Hagar's I Can't Drive 55. Good for her.

Uniworld Boutique River Cruise Collection is located in Los Angeles, California and the company operates a fleet of 21 river cruising cruise ships along the rivers of Europe, Russia, Egypt, and China. In April of 2013, Uniworld became the first U.S.-based river cruise line to own and operate a vessel in Italy. Found until recently on Europe's Danube, the 134-passenger River Countess was shipped to Venice on a giant transport vessel to sail indefinitely out of the city on seven-night "Venice & the Po River" itineraries. The trips include an extended stay in Venice as well as several nights on the nearby Po -- the longest river in Italy.

What happens when the right digital still is transposed onto real life at just the right angle? Photographer Francois Dourlen does just that by matching the appropriate photo on his iPhone to the perfect real world situation. ET phone home, bitches!

Chattem is a Chattanooga, Tennessee, producer and marketer of over-the-counter healthcare products, toiletries, dietary supplements, topical analgesics, and medicated skin care products. Originally named the Chattanooga Medicine Company, the company's brand portfolio holds twenty-two brands including Allegra, Gold Bond, Flexall, IcyHot, Rolaids, Bullfrog Sunblock, ACT Anticavity Fluoride Rinse, Sun-In, Pamprin, Dexatrim, Aspercreme, and Selsun Blue. Two-thirds of Chattem's products are produced by the company at its Chattanooga production facilities with the remaining produced by third-party producers.

You animals lovers will be overwhelmed with joy over this one. Albinism is a congenital disorder characterized by the complete or partial absence of pigment in the skin, hair and eyes due to absence or defect of tyrosinase, a copper-containing enzyme involved in the production of melanin. Many animals with albinism lack their protective camouflage and are unable to conceal themselves from their predators or prey; the survival rate of animals with albinism in the wild is usually quite low. Famous albino animals include Migaloo, a humpback whale off the coast of Australia; Pinky, a bottlenose dolphin living in and around in Calcasieu Lake, Louisiana; Snowflake, a Barcelona Zoo gorilla; Snowflake, a Bristol Zoo penguin; and Mahpiya Ska (Sioux for "White Cloud"), a buffalo in Jamestown, North Dakota.

In 1933 Kraft developed a new dressing similar to mayonnaise, but as a less expensive alternative. Premiering at the Century of Progress World's Fair in Chicago in 1933, Miracle Whip was an instant success as a condiment on fruits, vegetables and salads. It is also sold by Mondel?z International (formerly also Kraft Foods) as Miracel Whip throughout Germany. It is often used as an alternative to mayonnaise in recipes, although it is sweeter and has additional ingredients.

Meanwhile in Bischofshofen, Austria, a friendly match between French club Lille and Israeli club Maccabi Haifa was stopped about five minutes from end time when a group of young male pro-Palestinian protesters, reportedly of Turkish origin, invaded the pitch, where they waved flags and attacked some of the Israeli players. So there's that.

The Dukes of Hazzard follows the adventures of "The Duke Boys", cousins Bo Duke and Luke Duke, who live in a rural part of the fictional Hazzard County, Georgia with their attractive cousin Daisy (Catherine Bach) and their wise old Uncle Jesse. They race around in their customized 1969 Dodge Charger stock car, dubbed The General Lee, evading crooked county commissioner Boss Hogg and his inept county sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, and always managing to get caught in the middle of the various escapades and incidents that often occur in the area.

If you want to do productive exploration anywhere in space, you'll need a suitable vehicle. NASA is now testing concepts for a new generation of vehicles, building on lessons learned from the Apollo missions as well as the unmanned rovers on Mars. The Space Exploration Vehicle is designed to be flexible depending on the destination; the pressurized cabin can be used both for in-space missions and for surface exploration of planetary bodies, including near-Earth asteroids and Mars.

July 24, 2014

Size Em Up While You Can, Kid. Do That As An Adult, And You get Slapped.

Fabric privacy mesh has never looked better, and is a very popular outdoor fence screen material due to its high quality, silky smooth, finished look and its ability to block out view while allowing for air passage thanks to it's knitted design. Offering a 95% blockage often required by many commerical properties and is a top choice of architects. This is the ultimate screen for tennis courts, private beaches, and commercial properties! Stretches where it should but still maintains stability, and offers a top quality look.

Blackheads are a common problem that affects all skin types, especially those with oily skin. Usually occur around the nose, cheeks, chin and forehead, blackheads are caused by hardened masses of sebum, formed in the ducts or the sebaceous glands. They are direct result of skin pores becoming clogged with sebum and dead skin cells. Unfortunately, it is impossible to reduce the pore size, but you can minimize the amount of gunk that is clogged in them. This girl from London swears by her Clean & Clear Blackhead Clearing Cleanser and so do these two girls as well.

I bet you didn't know about Harrison Ford and James Earl Jones' plot to assassinate Hitler, now did you? See more proof that your world is a lie.

Have you ever wondered why a sheet of glass look green when viewed from a certain angle? The green tint is caused by iron oxide, which is an impurity in the sand used to make the glass. In the glass iron ions absorb in the red (and infra-red) and blue (and ultra-violet) parts of the spectrum, making the glass look green due to the light that remains. However, it is also possible to deliberately add iron oxide, and this gives a deeper green tinted glass, as is used in most residential glass. This is not just for the look of it; the iron absorbs infra-red light, which we feel as heat, and so the tinted glass helps keep the interior cool.

Do you have a touch of Obscessive Compulsive Disorder? If so, you will love these photos, but hate these photos, and love these photos, but hate these photos.

A trampoline is a device consisting of a piece of taut, strong fabric stretched over a steel frame using many coiled springs. People bounce on trampolines for recreational and competitive purposes. The fabric that users bounce on is not elastic in itself; the elasticity is provided by the springs that connect it to the frame, which store potential energy. Recreational trampolines for home use are less sturdily constructed than competitive ones and their springs are weaker. They may be of various shapes, though most are circular, octagonal or rectangular. The fabric is usually a woven polypropylene material or waterproof canvas.

IF YOU WERE/ARE/MAY BE IN THE MARKET FOR A SAIGA 12 SHOTGUN: there are still some Saiga 12's are still available by mail order; $850 isn't as good as the $700 they were two weeks ago, but better than the $1,500 they'll be next month.

If you haven't had the pleasure, check out the vocal track of David Lee Roth singing Runnin' with the Devil. And if you think that acapella performance is disturbing, watch the video for DJ Snake & Lil Jon's Turn Down For What. Now watch the same video, without the music track.

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