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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
October 6, 2015

Well, That Didn't Take Long, Now Did It?

Hysterical media aside, in 2013 there were 8,454 homicides committed with a firearm. Of those law enforcement estimates 80% of those are gang and/or drug related, and most of which occur in large urban environments like Chicago and Detroit. (See: War on Drugs) That means for every day people like you and me -- who aren't defending our drug corners in today's inner cities -- we have a (1,690 non-gang/drug related homicides / 318,900,000 US population = 0.000530% chance) of being killed with a firearm. That's a 1:188,700 chance; so over any given year you statistically have a greater chance of meeting your demise at the foot of a flight of stairs (1:180,000) or on the seat of a bicycle (1:140,000) than you do the business end of a firearm.

Can anyone who reads Finnish tell me if APO Base Cream is a good treatment for sunburn? I'm asking for a friend.

Back when I was a DOOM playing fool -- and I mean the original DOOM -- I was so familiar with all of the maps on all of the levels, that all you had to do was show me a screen capture from anywhere in the game, and I could tell you exactly where you were and where you had to go to complete that level. It was like second nature to me. Even now when I fire up the ol Doom 95 on occasion, I'll choose a random map and my fingers kind of take over the keyboard. It's like riding a bicycle, I guess. So, can any of you Super Mario players tell me anything about which game or level this girl is working on?

ALSO! Cabela's has .22 ammo in stock -- check out what I grabbed up this morning plus got it all shipped for a measly $5 bucks. If you get moving, you might be able to grab some, too.

Ernie, The whiteboard could not have been updated in 2010 as April 2nd fell on a Friday that year. April 2nd didn't fall on a Monday until 2012. Cheers! Jason

Hi Ernie, the white fire hydrant... Found it, here ya go! Mark

The Apollo 15 Lunar Surface Chronograph, being put up for auction by RR Auction, is a Bulova Chronograph that served as a backup for Scott's officially issued Omega watch. Following a long journey to the moon and back again, it can now be yours, if you've got what it takes to be the highest bidder.

Bath salts, when used in their natural, pure form, contain many beneficial minerals and nutrients that keep your skin smooth, soft, and supple. Some of the minerals found in bath salts include magnesium, potassium, calcium, bromide, and of course, sodium. These minerals are easily absorbed into our pores and are known to cleanse and purify our skin on a molecular level, improving your skin's radiance, tone, and texture. Magnesium helps us fight stress and combat fatigue; calcium keeps water retention in check, promotes healthy bones and can help stave off osteoporosis; potassium balances moisture levels in the skin; bromide soothes tired, sore muscles; sodium plays a significant role in managing the balance of lymphatic fluid in our bodies. The result? Bath salts benefit not only our skin, but our entire bodies – from the inside out.

Your second mission, should you choose to accept it, is to tell me who this statue is and show it to me on Streetview.

Challenge 3, the girls are on Dlouha in Cheb, Czech Republic, "divaldo" translates to Theater. Rick

Hi Ernie. I was going to get this for you, but they don't have a gold option. Thanx!!! Charlie

Gun-grabber story: "No one is coming to take your guns." Gun-grabber truth: "We are however, going to legislate all of the gun stores out of existence."

Your third and final mission for today is to find me a souvenier!

17th-century Flemish paintings show children blowing bubbles with clay pipes verifying soap bubbles being used as entertainment for at least 400 years. The London-based firm of A. & F. Pears created a famous advertisement campaign for its soaps in 1886 using a painting by John Everett Millais of a child playing with bubbles. A Chicago company called Chemtoy began selling bubble solution in the 1940s, and they have been popular with children ever since. According to one industry estimate, retailers sell around 200 million bottles annually. Children will watch in wonder as the Ultra Spin Bubbles bubble maker blows streams of bubbles! Just attach the bottle to the spinner and play!

October 5, 2015

And of Course, They're Raider Fans.

The Germany national football team is the men's football team that has represented Germany in international competition since 1908. It is governed by the German Football Association, founded in 1900. Ever since the DFB was reinaugurated in 1949 the team has represented the Federal Republic of Germany. Under Allied occupation and division, two other separate national teams were also recognised by FIFA: the Saarland team representing the Saarland (1950–1956) and the East German team representing the German Democratic Republic (1952–1990). Both have been absorbed along with their records by the current national team. The official name and code "Germany FR (FRG)" was shortened to "Germany (GER)" following the reunification in 1990. Since then, the German national football team has been one of the most successful football teams, winning four World Cups and three European Championships.

Old and busted: brewing your own beer. The new hotness: distilling your own moonshine.

And because shit, I forgot on Friday: "The richest one percent of this country owns half our country's wealth, five trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons and what I do, stock and real estate speculation. It's bullshit. You got ninety percent of the American public out there with little or no net worth. I create nothing. I own. We make the rules, pal. The news, war, peace, famine, upheaval, the price per paper clip. We pick that rabbit out of the hat while everybody sits out there wondering how the hell we did it. Now you're not naive enough to think we're living in a democracy, are you buddy? It's the free market. And you're a part of it. You've got that killer instinct. Stick around pal, I've still got a lot to teach you."

Your first photo challenge is to find this fire hydrant on Streetview.

Hi Ernie, Sorry to blow up your email. I found this clip and although a little hokie it does make a lot of sense. The media spin on guns is crazy. Randy

All seeing and all knowing Ernie: A friend, Alan Korwin who has written 10 different books on guns has this on his web site. Interesting news. Something else interesting is statistically speaking, 16 black men are shot and killed every day in ghettos around the United States - Where is the person who currently occupies the White House opinions on that? Bob

Your second photo challenge is to find where some asshole double parked his Camaro.

You will find some idiots out there claiming the Oregon campus was not in fact a gun-free zone, because back in 2011 the state barred colleges from prohibiting guns on campus. Ever willing to take advantage of a loophole, colleges complied, but notice the law never said anything about banning firearms in the BUILDINGS.... there in lies the loophole on how firearms are -- for all intents and purposes -- banned from Oregon colleges. So yes, a fucking gun free zone.

Hi Ernie, Got a blog post here with before and after dental work celebrity smiles. Any chance you could feature it on Ehowa? Best Regards, David

Your whiteboard was updated in 2010, Dan

Your third and final photo challenge for the day -- and the easiest of the three, I think, is to find this sign pointing to the Divadlo theatre

Hybrid Theory is the debut album by the American rock band Linkin Park, released on October 24, 2000 through Warner Bros. Records. The album was a commercial success, having been certified Diamond for sales of over 10 million units in the United States alone as of 2010, peaking at number two on the Billboard 200, and also reaching high positions on other charts worldwide. Recorded at NRG Recordings in North Hollywood, California, and produced by Don Gilmore, the album's lyrical themes deal with problems lead vocalist Chester Bennington experienced during his adolescence, including drug abuse and the constant fighting and divorce of his parents. Hybrid Theory takes its title from the previous name of the band as well as the concept of music theory and combining different styles.

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October 3, 2015

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

one hour apart: a tale of two statements

why cnn sucks cock: the hypocrisy of how the media covers mass shootings

deal with it:

here are heather mccartney and the nine most infamous strippers in sports

your weekend boob dump: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - NINE - ten - eleven - twelve - thirteen

October 2, 2015

“A Lie Can Run Round The World Before The Truth Has Got Its Boots On.” - Terry Pratchett

In the hours, days, and even weeks following Sandy Hook, the media fucked up a lot of stuff. First the shooter was in custody, then he was dead. Then he had an accomplice, then two, then none. Hiw mother was a live and his father was dead. His brother was the shooter. 20 killed, then 20 wounded, then 26 killed. In fact, I'd say the media reported more rumor than they did fiction. I'd ask that you keep this in mind over the next week or so as the details that surround the Oregon college shooting firm up and come to light.

Thirty year old Army veteran Chris Mintz is recovering from wounds sustained when he charged [the shooter]. This seems to be true. Up for grabs is how grievously he was wounded -- I've heard he was shot 7 times, then 5, now 4 times. Regardless, the guy has brass fucking balls, and he is going to survive.

[The shooter] singled out and killed Christians -- eh, usually when something sounds too fantastic to be true, it usually is. I'm not saying it's impossible, but I'm going to wait a few days to see if this rumor survives. if its true, I'm sure more than one victim will step forward and corroborate the initial report.

[The shooter] was a Muslim -- another one I'll wait and see what happens. This all stems from an old Myspace page that supposedly belonged to [the shooter]. True or false, I dunno. Much like the media misidentified Ryan Lanza as the Sandy Hook shooter, I'll wait and see if this rumor survives the test of time. I suspect its fate will go hand in hand with the aforementioned killing Christians rumor.

Umpqua Community College was/was not a gun free zone -- From everything I have found, the college WAS a gun free zone: "As of March 2015, Concealed carry was not permitted, except by written permission by college." [source] Additionally, here is a screen capture of the UCC student code of conduct pertaining to firearms.

[The shooter] told people online about his plans ahead of time -- Unfortunately, this is true. The group 4chan is kind of like the seedy underbelly of the internet. They have however, set a new bar with this. I suspect there will be HUGE changes to how /b/ works after this.

Also, since our esteemed President managed to call a press conference immediately after the tragic death of these 10 people, someone please let me know when the press conference is for the 11 people killed in the Air Force C-130 crash that occurred just a few hours later. Oh, there isn't one. Yeah, I know. The pandering asshole. Shit like this is exactly why I hope the upcoming Florida campus carry bill passes the legislature. Can you imagine how differently this would have turned out if Chris Mintz had the means to effectively defend himself? Meanwhile, just as things were returning to normal, get ready for the price of ammo to go through the fucking roof again, because of reactionary assholes who absolutely froth at the mouth at the opportunity to turn tragedy into political gain.


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