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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
August 1, 2014

But Still, She gets An A For Effort, Am I Right?

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

It looks like Dante's Pizza has taken over the spot that was previously occupied by the Tortilla Factory. I wonder when that happened?

I have a feeling Misty Copeland is probably the first ballet dancer ever to sign an endorsement deal with a sports apparel company; Under Armor, in this case. I'm certain she is your new favorite ballet dancer, because she is obviously amazing.

A yukata is a Japanese garment, a casual summer kimono, like other forms of traditional Japanese clothing, yukata are made with straight seams and wide sleeves. Yukata literally means bath(ing) clothes, although their use is not limited to after-bath wear. Yukata are a common sight in Japan during the hot summer months. Traditionally yukata were mostly made of indigo-dyed silk but today a wide variety of colors and designs are available. As with kimono, the general rule with yukata is that younger people wear vivid colors and bold patterns, while older people wear dark, matured colors and dull patterns.

Greek cuisine is adored worldwide for many reasons, primarily its creative use of fresh, seasonal ingredients to make diverse dishes. In this traditional summer-and-fall dish, Yemista is part of the Greek cuisine and consists of baked stuffed vegetables. Usually tomatoes, peppers, or other vegetables hollowed out and baked with a rice and herb filling. That actually look pretty appetizing, especially when compared to Chinese cuisine, because those crazy fuckers will eat just about anything that doesn't eat them first.

I know German well. The only word I can think of that might fit would be Cousinen. I'm betting the banner reads Die Wilden Cousinen or “The Wild Cousins”? I can only think of maybe 6 words that end in sinen in German (limousinen, apfelsinen, assassinen, cousinen, kusinen, rosinen) unless you count the compound words (halbcousinen = half cousins and luxuslimousinen = luxury limousines). Even less end with “siren”, and none of those fit (closest would be Geysiren). Keith

Hey Ern, Wilden is German for wild, not wanted. It looks like possibly a hand-made sign. I don't know why I think so, just taking a stab at it....the last word MIGHT be Cousinen (Cousins). "The wild cousins" ?? The 1st letter COULD be a C, and just before sinen, it looks like it could be a U. That's my best guess and I'm sticking to it. The wild cousins. Tom

Huh. Gotta be honest, I'm impressed. Perhaps not as impressed as when I looked at these extreme balloon animals, but close. Next photo challenge: this time Spanish is going to be the preferred language. What is the name of the restaurant this girl is sitting at; and I suspect it's Spanish because tapas is a Spanish dish, as is plato/plate.

Looking out from Treasure Island Casino and Resort, facing down the strip with Harrah's on your left and The Mirage on your right, is right about where this photo was taken.

Rammstein is an Industrial Metal band from Germany, formed in 1994 and comprises Till Lindemann, Richard Kruspe, Paul Landers, Ollie Riedel, Christoph Schneider and Christian "Flake" Lorenz. Since their formation, Rammstein have had no changes in their line-up. As of 2013, they have sold over 35 million records worldwide. Rammstein's award-winning live shows are renowned for their pyrotechnic elements and both on- and off-stage theatrics. The majority of their songs are in German, but they have also performed songs entirely or partially in other languages including English, Spanish, French and Russian.

Well, it's Friday afternoon and you know what that means: time to knock back a nice quality bourbon and play some 3 Slices 2. (my score so far)

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July 31, 2014

It's People Like You Who Come Here And Blow The Family Nest Egg That Built This Town.

So you scrounge up $1 million dollars to buy into a high stakes Las Vegas poker game. You flop a pair of aces. Smiling, you ush your stack of chips forward; you're all in. Oddly enough, your opponent flops a pair of aces. There's a 98% chance of a draw, right? Only a 2% chance you'll lose, right? What's the worst that can happen, right?

National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health investigators have determined that a number of factors, including arson, air management issues, and lack of operational standard procedures contributed to the July 28, 2011 death of a North Carolina firefighter. Hear firsthand how Asheville Captain Jeff Bowen and Firefighter Jay Bettencourt found themselves out of air, disoriented from breathing toxic smoke, and fighting for their lives.

Jolidon is a Romanian lingerie and swim suit manufacturer, founded in 1993 in Cluj-Napoca. In 1993, an entrepreneur, Gabriel Cîrlig, identifies on the romanian market a after '89 two types of products that are necessary, but briefly represented, the lingerie and the swimsuits. After 19 years of activity, Jolidon products are exported especially to the European Union but also to America and Asia. In 2000, the company founded Jolidon Hungary KFT in Budapest, then in 2001 Jolidon Italia SRL in Milano. Later, it extended to France as Jolidon France SARL, first in Paris, then in Lyon. As of March 2008, Jolidon operates 103 stores, 65 in Romania, 35 in Italy, and 3 in Hungary.

Alice Cooper: goody two shoes. Axl Rose: high as a kite. Fred Durst: douchebag as always. Eddie Van Halen: rock star. Dimebag Darryl: alive. Ronnie James Dio: my grandfather. Gene Simmons: nice Jewish boy. James Hetfield: future rock star. Kirk Hammet: King Dork. Jon Bon Jovi: likes other boys. Dave Mustaine: apathetic. Jonathan Davis: Flock of Seagulls. Kid Rock: dock. Kurt Cobains: chill. Marilyn Manson: math club. Paul Stanley: nice gay Jewish boy. Slash: small hair. Steven Tyler: c-r-e-e-p-y. Zack De la Rocha: not raging yet. That is my analysis of these rock stars' high school photos.

Boating on inland waterways such as rivers, creeks and dams demands special care. Many of these areas present issues not encountered in coastal waters, including submerged trees and other snags. Inland waterways are often murky and constantly changing; if you don't have a depth finder play it safe and reduce speed. Familiarise yourself with the area using maps and wherever you can, talk to local operators. They can often provide valuable knowledge such as how the current runs after rain and water depth following drought.

I estimate many tattoos were probably done on a whim and with much regret later on, but these folks may have been more fortunate! Their tattoo makeovers range from just a cover up of ex's name to rather impressive works of art. Now let's follow back up in 10 years and see what makeovers of these makeovers they may have done, hmm.

Hey Ernie, hope I'm not too late to the show. The scooter you were asking about appears to be a 2011 Vespa s50. Here is a link to compare it with. Hope it helps. Mike C from Bloomington, Indiana

Ernie, Good sir, that there be the white Piaggio Vespa LX125 with Windscreen. Awesome little scooter. Cheers good brother, and stay cool there on the right hand coast. Paul

Sorry Mike, Paul is correct! And first I wasn't sure if it was a 50cc or the larger 125/150cc but on a 50cc, look at the side of the seat and notice now the keylock is behind the seat strap, while on the 125/150cc models, the keylock is in front of the seat strap. Larger scooter = larger seat = different placement of keylock. Anyway, on to the next photo challenge, and I think you're going to have to be fluent in German to get this one. The first two words on the banner are definitely "die wilden" which Google translates to "the wanted." The second word I'm not sure on. I think it ends in -sinen but can't carve that one stone. I suspect someone with a familiarity in the language of the Deutschland is going to have to solve this one.

Watch this Bloomberg/Moms Demand PSA and ask yourself this. Would this scenario turn out better if the abusive husband didn't have a gun, or if the abused wife did? Because remember, the police/fire/EMTs are NOT the first responders; they are the SECOND responders. The true first responder to a threat to your safety -- be it a kitchen fire, a heart attack, or a wacko ex-husband -- is YOU!

InterContinental Hotels & Resorts is a brand of luxury hotels. Founded in 1946 by Pan American World Airways under Juan Trippe, it is now owned by the InterContinental Hotels Group. The chain operates over 183 hotels and resorts in more than 60 nations. And evidently they provide very high quality blankets, because as a makeshift curtain, this one is letting absolutely zero light through.

Some of this is just pure fucking insanity: Australian bicycle rider Lachlan Sens and his huge huge brass balls riding in some of the better spots of central Victoria, early 2014.

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July 30, 2014

Well, Danny Did Just Bang Lacey Underall, So Who Knows?

Rewatching this uncomfortable exchange bwteen Danny and Judge Smails leaves me wondering, why not a Fresca?

You should consider many different questions when deciding what kind of sailboat is best for you. If you are looking for a large daysailer or a small cruising sailboat, you may be choosing between sailboats that have an inboard engine and those having an outboard motor. Each offers certain advantages. Most inboards are diesels, which are generally more reliable, cost less to run and maintain, and eliminate the hazards of gasoline. A marine diesel engine that has been well maintained can easily last most of a lifetime; lots of 30+-year-old diesels still running well on sailboats. Outboards on the other hand, have better accessibility makes it easy to service the motor and in most cases the outboard motor can be raised or tilted to get the prop out of the water, producing less drag when sailing.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For is an upcoming 2014 American crime thriller film and sequel to the 2005 film Sin City. Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller directed a script co-written by them and William Monahan and primarily based on the second book in the Sin City series by Miller. The film stars an ensemble cast including returning cast members Jessica Alba, Rosario Dawson, Powers Boothe, Mickey Rourke, and Bruce Willis. Newcomers to the series include Eva Green, Josh Brolin, Jamie Chung, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Christopher Lloyd, Julia Garner, Juno Temple, Ray Liotta, Stacy Keach, Christopher Meloni, Lady Gaga, Jeremy Piven and Crystal McCahill. The upcoming sequel to Sin City will be in theaters next month, and a nice, new red band trailer with all the dirty words and graphic violence you could hope for in a trailer has hit the internet in order to promote it.

The swastika is a Hindu symbol that generally takes the form of an equilateral cross, with its four legs bent at 90 degrees. The earliest archaeological evidence of swastika-shaped ornaments dates back to the Indus Valley Civilization also referred to as Hindustan, now part of the Indian subcontinent, as well as to the Mediterranean Classical Antiquity and paleolithic Europe. Swastikas have been used in various other ancient civilizations around the world including Turkic, Iran, Armenia, Nepal, China, Japan, Korea and Europe. In modern times, following a brief surge of popularity as a good luck symbol in Western culture, a swastika was adopted as a symbol of the Nazi Party of Germany in 1920, who used the swastika as a symbol of the Aryan race. And so it's probably not something you want to get tattooed on your ass because of your skinhead boyfriend.

Diet Coke is a sugar-free soft drink produced and distributed by The Coca-Cola Company. It was first introduced in the United States on August 9, 1982, as the first new brand since 1886 to use the Coca-Cola trademark. The product quickly overtook the company's existing diet cola, Tab, in sales. Diet Coke was sweetened with aspartame after the sweetener became available in the United States in 1983; to save money, this was originally in a blend with saccharin. After Diet Rite cola advertised its 100 percent use of aspartame, and the manufacturer of NutraSweet warned that the NutraSweet trademark would not be made available to a blend of sweeteners, Coca-Cola switched the Diet Coke formula to 100 percent NutraSweet.

A year after she became an internet sensation, Allison Stokke started college at UC Berkley, and a few more photos of her emerged in the four years that followed. But for the most part, she stayed as under-the-radar as a crazy hot minor internet celebrity could stay. Since her Berkley days, however, it's been a slightly different story. Stokke, you see, is still competing in track and field. At a recent event in Mexico, Stokke was photographed quite extensively, and yes, she is still extremely insanely hot.

Much, much, MUCH to my surprise, four people actually nailed yesterday's photo Honeywood Roxy Road challenge, which to be honest, I didn't think was solvable. Color me impressed. So hell, here are all four of you guys...

Location is about 38 Eve Rd in Ilseworth TW7, UK. I attached a jpeg for comparison of the pictures. Keith

Ern, Kind of late but thought I would send this anyway. The bare ass almost in the black skirt is in Isleworth, U.K. The sign actually reads Honeywood Road. Street view shows the blue gate behind the white block wall, the white wrapping around the sign post and the small posts in the neighbors yard. Cheers, Scott

Hey Ernie, Contributed a few times in the past, but had to track this down. The sign is for Honeywood Road, and the rear reg plates being yellow confirm this is a UK location. Seeing as the sign is for Honeywood road, that means the picture was taken on a cross street, and after a little searching, we find that at the intersection of Eve Road and HoneyWood road in Islworth, London it is easy to match the greenery and bollards, complete with the White Wall and Blue Gate. In this link the shot is outside the house with the Dexters ForSale sign. Job Done!! Lawrie

I do believe you are looking for 27 Eve Rd, Isleworth, England, United Kingdom, Isleworth, Greater London TW7, United Kingdom. It intersects with Honeywood Road at that point. -- Matt

Piaggio was founded in 1884 and based in Pontedera, Italy is one of the largest motorcycle groups in Europe with Aprilia, Derbi, Moto Guzzi, and Vespa currently under their umbrella. After WWII, Piaggio entered the market to provide affordable transportation to the Italian people. With the creation of Vespa in 1946, Piaggio took off and enjoyed great success till 2003 when Piaggio fell on hard times. With the new leadership of Roberto Colaninno, Piaggo quickly recovered from the brink of failure and emerged as a leader in the Scooter industry. And I've been looking through Piaggio's Italian website but just can't seem to nail down which model scooter this is.

Halo 5: Guardians is an upcoming first-person shooter video game exclusive for the Xbox One. The Halo franchise game is being developed by 343 Industries and published by Microsoft Studios. Serving as the sequel to Halo 4, the game is scheduled to be released in 2015. A Halo television series is being produced by Steven Spielberg, set to air in 2015 in conjunction with the game's launch. Showtime is in negotiations to air the series. During their 2014 E3 press conference, Microsoft revealed that Halo: The Master Chief Collection will be released with an exclusive pass to access Halo 5's multiplayer beta, which begins in December.

The first Seminoles to live in North Florida are known to have constructed log cabin-type homes, some two stories tall, with sleeping quarters upstairs. The chickee style of architecture - palmetto thatch over a cypress log frame - was born during the early 1800s when Seminole Indians, pursued by U.S. troops, needed fast, disposable shelter while on the run. Though indigenous peoples in other parts of North and South America have developed similar dwellings, it is generally agreed that the Seminole Indian technique and product are far superior. So popular, efficient and functional is the chickee that such Seminole architecture can be seen all over South Florida. Several Seminole Tribal members make a living building custom chickees for both commercial and private interests.

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July 29, 2014

'Cause Truman Was Too Much Of A Pussy Wimp To Let MacArthur Go In There And Blow Out Those Commie Bastards!

The son of an Italian immigrant tailor, Thornton Melon is a rags-to-riches story. His ambition is to go into his father's line of work, but his father reprimands Thornton for his poor schoolwork, and tells him no matter how hardworking, skilled or wealthy one may be, "if a man has got no education, he has got nothing". After his college-student son Jason cancels a visit, Thornton goes home to Vanessa, his second wife. Thornton is a widower and Vanessa is a social climbing gold digger, unable to bear her crude husband. Upon agreeing to a divorce, he threatens to expose her adulterous affairs after she threatens to sue him for half of his net worth. Thornton tells his friend, chauffeur and bodyguard Lou to drive him to Jason's college. It turns out Jason has been keeping secrets from his father. He is not on the Grand Lakes diving team, but instead works as a towel boy, treated badly by star diver Chas Osborn. At the championship dive meet, father and son patch things up and, with a little distraction, Derek fouls up the opposing team's dives, while Chas gives a lackluster effort, followed by a near-perfect performance from Jason. Chas then fakes a cramp out of spite in an effort to make the team lose. This gives the coach an inspiration. He calls upon Thornton, who comes out of the grandstand to perform an “impossible” dive, the legendary "Triple Lindy," to win the meet. A menu item at the Tex-Mex restaurant Moe's Southwest Grill is called "The Triple Lindy" in honor of Melon's ficticious dive. Behind the scenes, one of the last shots in the opening montage is of Rodney Dangerfield golfing; this was taken directly from his first film, Caddyshack. But holding a little more influence than he did in his earlier films, Rodney Dangerfield always looked out for younger comedic talents; as such he was a big proponent for Sam Kinison's part as the crazed professor.

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Anyway. The upcoming Family Guy/Simpsons crossover episode features Family Guy‘s Griffin family stumbling upon the town of Springfield and hanging out with the yellow family that inspired them. The trailer, naturally, focuses on Peter spending time with Homer, and Stewie meeting Bart -- and by the way, leave it to Stewie to take it to the next level. But presumably there will be all kinds of cross-pollination between the two franchises happening, which will be a Family Guy episode, not a Simpsons one.

And it looks like a few people were able to identify the mystery bottle from yesterday, but first, the next photo challenge. I'm not so sure anyone will be able to solve. I spent about 20 minutes on it, and so far no dice. But I suspect that's due in part, to the locale; the car on the left is an MG (popular in Britain) and has a wide license plate. So I'm guessing somewhere in the UK, I think? I tried a little CSI zoom-and-enhance on the sign in the background and I *think* it reads something to the effect of "HONEYWOOD ROXY"? lots of if's in this one, so good luck. ...

Here you go brother. It's actually not a bottled drink, but olive oil. Cameron

It loos like the bottle of "La Sansa" is olive oil (My sisters hot ass friends used to use it to get tan.) It also looks like it is a subsidiary of "Olitalia", maybe. I found this pic on an online store. It is missing the red on the label but they make lots of varieties of oils and it looks like it maybe an older bottle - -Ryan

It never occured to me it might be olive oil because I always thought that's the same as sitting under a magnifying glass, and you might as well rub melanoma directly onto your skin. Turns out I'm sorta right. You're not supposed to rub it on your skin, you're supposed to ingest it; to the tune of two teaspoons per day, according to the Jews. I dunno, I guess I just think olive oil should remain in the kitchen, where it's best suited.

Speaking of... a whisk is a cooking utensil used in food preparation to blend ingredients smooth, or to incorporate air into a mixture, in a process known as whisking or whipping. Most whisks consist of a long, narrow handle with a series of wire loops joined at the end. The wires are usually metal, but some are plastic for use with nonstick cookware. I haven't decided if the person who left those marks is doing it wrong, or doing it very, very right.

Roswell is an American science fiction television series developed, produced, and co-written by Jason Katims. The series debuted on October 6, 1999 on The WB and moved to UPN for the third season. The last episode aired May 14, 2002. In the United Kingdom, the show aired as both Roswell High and Roswell. The show starred Shiri Appleby as Liz Parker, Jason Behr as Max Evans, Katherine Heigl as Isabel Evans, and Brendan Fehr as Michael Guerin. The series is based on the Roswell High young adult book series, written by Melinda Metz and edited by Laura J. Burns, who became staff writers for the television series.

Ernie, I got to live in Ottawa Ontario for five years. The Popeye's cup from your 23 July post is from a supplement shop in Canada, not the tasty chicken joint. Kevin

Hey Ernie, That ar-15 lower company you posted about last year has gone tits up. The guy had a hard time keeping his customers in the loop about what was going on with the progress of the business, made several statements that turned out to be false and has finally pulled the plug. I think he was in over his head from day one. I guess the old saying hold true, buyer beware. Scott

The post that Scott is referring to was from an email back in from December 18, 2013, "Ern – In case you haven't been keeping up with the Rocket Hub startup funding project for Gun Vault, they have exceeded their goal of $50,000. Best regards, Gary" -- WOW. Those dude just raked in almost $90k and then punched the fuck out. See that's why I'm always leery about giving money to those crowd funded startup campaigns. The last one I donated money to was Karen the school bus monitor when the total was around $12k... had I known it was going to go all the way up to $700k? Fuck that, I'd have kept my $50. Which is why personally, I kind of like to stick with the more established companies. For example: the Sig Sauer Scorpion 1911 has an MSRP of $1,213. But right now GunBuyer is running a hell of a sale: both the Sig Scorpion AND a Sig Mosquito (MSRP $426) shipped to your FFL for AN INCREDIBLE $949. That's fucking unhead of, especially when you consider Sig is still running their two free mags and pistol bag deal.

The Oldsmobile Achieva was introduced for the 1992 model year and was a front-wheel drive, compact car based on the GM N-body platform which it also shared with its siblings the Pontiac Grand Am and Buick Skylark. The Achieva was first seen as a concept car at the 1991 Chicago Auto Show and was said to replace Oldsmobile's compact Calais models. The Calais and Achieva both share the same basic front wheel drive GM N-body architecture including identical wheelbase length. The Achieva started regular production for the 1992 model year; the S as the standard model has a 120-horsepower 2.3-liter Quad OHC 4-cylinder.

Meanwhile, in Saudi Arabia.

July 28, 2014

I Would Have To Imagine That Turned Out To Be A Really Strange Interview.

Okay I thought I was going to have two photo challenges for you today, but I ended up solving one. It took me about 15 minutes worth of Google-Fu, but was worth it in the end. So I don't spoil the fun too early, I'll just simply ask you to ask where this photo was taken. Solution at the bottom of this post!

Kerrang! Radio is a specialist rock music radio station broadcasting across the United Kingdom on DAB and Freeview. Until June 2013 the station was available on FM in the West Midlands, England. The station's format mixes modern & classic rock with speech programmes targeted at young people and an adult rock audience. Kerrang! Radio is connected with the Kerrang! print magazine in name, ownership and style, although the radio station has a more mainstream adult rock output than the magazine, featuring more indie and alternative rock.

Did you know the Playboy Mansion is the only house in Los Angeles with a firework and zoo permit? Here are 19 bizarre facts about Hugh Heffner and Playboy Magazine. And yeah, this is Hugh's third wife, Crystal Hefner. You're welcome.

A seawall is a form of coastal defense constructed where the sea, and associated coastal processes, impact directly upon the landforms of the coast. The purpose of a seawall is to protect areas of human habitation, conservation and leisure activities from the action of tides and waves. Seawalls may be constructed from a variety of materials, most commonly: reinforced concrete, boulders, steel, or gabions. Additional seawall construction materials may include: vinyl, wood, aluminium, fibreglass composite, and with large biodegrable sandbags made of jute and coir.

Tropicana Field is home to the Tampa Bay Rays, but it's also home to the “Fan vs. Food” burger, a 4-pound grilled behemoth that also acts as a standing challenge to anyone who might be visiting Tropicana's Brew House restaurant. Yeah, how in the hell Mexico surpassed us as the fattest fucking country in the world, I'll never know.

There turned out to be several people able to identify this water bottle, but the first among them were...

Just saw this tonight, so just in case no one else found it, it's Deer Park. Link has pictures of both bottle designs. -Frank

Het Big Ern, regarding the water bottle photo challenge: Like any good soldier, Sgt. Sugar Tits is following U.S Military fluid replacement guidelines by drinking Deer Park Brand Natural Spring Water. Ray

In the meantime, I tried to identify the maker of this bottled drink, but no luck! La Sansa? La Sausa? La Sanka? I can't quite make it out, and all my 'sansa' searches turn up that treasonous Stark bitch.

Anthropomorphism is attribution of human form or other characteristics to anything other than a human being. Examples include ascribing human emotions or motives to forces of nature, such as hurricanes or earthquakes. Most cultures have traditional fables with anthropomorphised animals, which can look or talk like humans, as characters.

The coconut tree is a large palm, growing up to 100 feet tall, with pinnate leaves 13–20 ft long, old leaves break away cleanly, leaving the trunk smooth. Coconut trunks are used for building small bridges and huts; they are preferred for their straightness, strength, and salt resistance. In Kerala, coconut trunks are used for house construction. Coconut timber comes from the trunk, and is increasingly being used as an ecologically sound substitute for endangered hardwoods. It has applications in furniture and specialized construction, as notably demonstrated in Manila's Coconut Palace.

Minor league bro strikes out. Minor league bro shoves the opposing catcher. Minor league bro throws his helmet at the opposing catcher. Minor league bro runs. Minor league bro gets tackled, HARD. Hey life could be worse, you could get schooled by Frankie Muniz.

Okay, okay, okay. getting back to identifying the location of this photo. First I did Google Maps search for corner jackson and mckinley and came up with this list. So now I had some target area, I just had to figure out which one. I could StreetView each of them, but that'd take too long. I did some image searching and was able to find another pic of the completely nude girl, standing next to this real estate sign. Some quick research on the 916 area code revealed it to be in Sacramento, California. Sure enough, here we are on Jackson Court and looking down McKinley Street, and if that pickup truck wasn't in the way, here's the house that was for sale.. And see this newly planted tree just before the stop sign? Well here it is again!

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