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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
September 23, 2014

Now That I Have Your Attention, Let's Keep You Hooked.

What's the grosses fucking thing you can imagine? Could it be Hope Solo's (NSFW!) battered roast beef sandwich? Yeah, that Sarlaac pit looking thing isn't even half as gross as this whole chicken in a can. With delicious broth, I might add. The chicken, not the Sarlaac.

While we are busy exploring space and expecting to encounter aliens, there's weird stuff going on on our planet. Things and creatures that are still largely unknown and alien-like to us. Salt water oceans make up 71% of the Earth's surface, so just imagine that when we say "the whole world" and refer to all the people living on land we are only talking about 29% of our planet. So then are you ready to see what spooky faces lie underneath the surface of oceans? The aliens are definitely among us. And they're not oxygen-friendly.

For your next challenge I'd like to know what intersection this roadwork was performed at. I am 99% sure the crossing street in the background is Santa Monica Boulevard, so there's about a 5 mile stretch of road it could be at. I suspect you'll have to be somewhat familiar with the Los Angeles area, or be very lucky on Google Street View, or have a cool job title like pornography historian or chocolate beer specialist to get this one, since I'll bet that upside down trapazoid building in the background is going to be the key on this one.

Ernie, Ass Kiss blah blah for the site and LBEH. Just saw this and think it's BS that the wife has any claim on the money. What are your thoughts on the whole situation, being from FL? Russ

Five hundred years ago when I went to Keesler AFB for tech school, part of the in-processing briefing was some dude warning us, "Look the local girls will throw themselves at you and want to get married. They're looking for stability and most of them will divorce you after a couple years and keep half of your paycheck." I'm not sure that's the case here because there's a follow up article with a quote from the wife, "I've been married to the guy for 17 years. I've been to every doctor's appointment with him. I have been by his side when we had nothing. He lived out of his truck when I met him." If that's true, I don't think it's as cut and dry as it first seems. And while I'll preface this by cautioning I'm-Not-A-Lawyer-But, I would think federal law trumps State law. But even that may not be accurate because in the comments of the follow up article, a paralegal offers, "Federal law categorically does not exclude VA disability compensation from alimony. The law is actually that VA disability compensation cannot be divided for purposes of property division (ie equitable distribution). However, VA disability compensation is totally fair game for purposes for calculating support, such as alimony or child support. It is not divided in the sense of 'she is awarded 50% of your VA compensation' but it is included as income for computations regarding income." Is that accurate? I don't know, but now you know why divorces cost so much. It's worth it.

Here's a pretty slick deal on some quality PMC 115gr 9mm rounds for the plinker and target shooter. These are non-corrosive brass cased rounds, not steel, and therefore reloadable. You can score an entire case of 1000 9mm rounds for only $201.74 after coupon SG3729.

Sailing cultures tend to be rich in traditions. Over time, tattoos became one of the more popular traditions among mariners. Since their introduction, tattoos became a graphic language and a way for sailors to express themselves through body art, as well as a means of visually identifying with a broader social group. The purpose of sailor tattoos was also to record important events or experiences such travels, achievements, naval hierarchy, rank, status, membership, and/or any other significant event in life. Examples of popular symbols in the sailor tattooing are: a dragon, which refers to a sailor that has served in Asia; an anchor, which indicates sailing across the Atlantic; a full rigged ship represents traversal of Cape Horn; a harpoon refers to a member of the fishing fleet; and a Hula Girl, reflects being stationed at. or sailing to Hawaii.

Woodstock Leabank is one of the UK's major suppliers of commercial furniture, with an installation and distribution network to ensure an unrivalled service to all their customers. They continually look to deliver fresh design ideas that enable dealers to present a complete furniture solution for any commercial environment from office and administrative storage, to classroom and conferencing.

Hi Ernie, Long time reader here. I think you readers will enjoy these brief quotes from four star General "Mad Dog" Mattis. Keep up the great work - Drew in NH

Huge herd of elk crossing the road in Bozeman, MT near Yellowstone. I have never seen a herd this big. Poor little guy at the end...leave no elk behind. Rick

A trapdoor is a sliding or hinged door, flush with the surface of a floor, roof, or ceiling, or in the stage of a theatre. A hatch, an opening which may also be in a wall and need not be flush with the surface, is similar; in some cases either name is applicable. A small door in a wall or floor used to gain access to equipment is called an access hatch or access door.

Good news/bad news: The Los Angeles School District is ditching their three grenade-launchers. But they're keeping their 60 fully automatic M-16 assault rifles. Don't be late for class, kids!

Latouche-Tréville is a F70 type anti-submarine frigate of the French Marine Nationale. She is the third French vessel named after the 18th century politician and admiral Louis-René Levassor de Latouche Tréville. In November 2006 and again in June 2010, Latouche Treville visited London on diplomatic duties, and was moored alongside the Second World War cruiser, HMS Belfast. Here she is battling 40' seas in the English Channel and much to mu surprise, she does not surrender.

all new season of SOUTH PARK on comedy central 9/24 plus seasons 1-17 streaming on hulu



September 22, 2014

Trust me, Kid. You'll Change Your Tune On That Soon Enough.

The HoMedics FB-300 Jetspa Elite Foot Spa envelopes your foot for a relaxing 2-in-1 massage experience that includes both rejuvenating water jets and a soothing bubble massage. Raised nodes give the bottom of your feet a relaxing and gentle massage. The spinning pedicure center comes with three attachments: pumice stone, cleansing brush and massage roller. Heat maintenance technology and toe-touch control makes getting the perfect massage easy, while the integrated splash guard prevents splashing and spills.

Have you heard of Bitcoins but don't understand what they are or how they work? Well the lovely Brooke Marks from Naked News has got you covered.

Spanning 40 years and including 100 films, Oliver Reed's career began with Hammer Horror films but soon developed into international stardom. In May 1999 he died while making another film, the hit blockbuster Gladiator. During his life, he became equally well-known for his off-screen exploits and blunt opinions but Cliff Goodwin reveals another side to this complex man, using material from first-hand interviews with Reed's family, friends and colleagues, together with never-before-seen photographs. Evil Spirits: The Life of Oliver Reed contains first-hand interviews with some of Reed's family, friends and colleagues, plus photographs from the family album Gladiator, Reed's last film, was dedicated to him and his performance was well reviewed by the critics.

That sign looks to me to be referring to Autosig, which (before they stopped their direct affiliation with Omniasig) were the sole reseller of repossessed Daewoo cars in Bucharest, Romania. Just to the southeast of this location there is a park, which has the same time of painted trees, the same type of barb top fence (with both green and rust color poles), the same type of thin street pole. Based on the sun coming from the left of the picture, the girls would be facing anywhere from northeast to southeast depending on the time of day. This means the photographer is facing west (southwest to northwest) looking out the park. I just can't find a location that exactly fits – perhaps the picture is from 10 years ago and the street has changed drastically—I don't know. Keith

The slouch hat was first worn by military forces in Australia in 1885 when the newly created Victorian Mounted Rifles adopted the hat as part of their uniform after their commanding officer, Thomas Price, had seen them worn by police in Burma. On 22 December 1890, the military commanders of the then separate Australian Colonies prior to the Federation of Australia met to discuss the introduction of the khaki uniform throughout Australia. They agreed that all Australian Forces with the exception of the Artillery would wear the slouch hat. It was to be looped up on one side—Victoria and Tasmania on the right and the other colonies on the left. This was done so that rifles could be held at the slope without damaging the brim.

If you're a fan of Steven Spielberg and Lego, you're in luck. Finnish photographer Vesa Lehtimaki unites these two passions of his in playful and imaginative dioramas, using Lego minifigures, baking soda and forced perspective to create original miniature scenes from such epic movies as Star Wars, Indiana Jones and The Lord of the Rings.

Retractable awnings are now becoming very popular with homeowners in the United States. They have been popular in Europe for many years, due to higher energy costs and lack of air conditioning. You can create shade, protection and comfort anytime you want, with the touch of a button. A retractable awning makes your deck or patio as much as 20-degrees cooler, while guarding your family and guests from harmful UV rays. It also helps lower your air conditioning bill by shading windows and glass doors from direct sunlight. Retractable awnings are commonly used to shade a window, with a roller tube at the top, spring-loaded side arms, and a motor, crank or tape-pull operator.

Gun instructor's kids make video for the girl who shot him ..Wow. Rick

Niobia Bryant is an African-American novelist of both romance and mainstream fiction. She also writes Urban fiction as Meesha Mink and Young Adult fiction as Simone Bryant. In 2008, Bryant teamed up with a fellow romance author to write the urban fiction Hoodwives series for Simon & Schuster/Touchstone. Writing as Meesha Mink and De'Nesha Diamond, their first collaboration, Desperate Hoodwives, was released in January 2008, followed by Shameless Hoodwives in August 2008, and the highly anticipated The Hood Life in January 2009.

Old and busted: First person view of riding on a motorcycle and dishing out justice to litterbugs. The new hotness: First person view of riding a 1949 Harley Panhead with a suicide shifter.

Capital Pride is an annual LGBT pride festival held in early June each year in Washington, D.C. It was founded as Gay Pride Day, a one-day block party and street festival, in 1975. Whitman-Walker Clinic became the sole sponsor of Capital Pride in 2000, and expanded organizational oversight of Capital Pride in 2007 when it was the fourth-largest gay pride event in the United States . Although the healthcare organization remained the sole sponsor of the festival, 11 other local non-profit organizations joined with WWC to form the Capital Pride Planning Committee. The 2007 parade was organized by the D.C. Trans Coalition, an umbrella group of organizations and activists supporting the needs of transgender people, the addition of Trans Pride to Capital Pride was a direct outcome of the expanded organizational planning group.

100 rounds of 12g Remington 00 Buckshot for $42.99 after $25 MIR (last centered link)


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September 20, 2014

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

what it looks like when a racecar's brakes fail

YOU CAN WIN A GAME OF YOUR CHOICE FOR PS4 OR XBOX ONE!

j.j. abrams hid a pretty amazing easter egg on the hull of the millennium falcon

celebratory crotch grab: hot falcons fan celebrates first down by grabbing her boyfriend's cock

bump firing a smith and wesson m&p 22 -- if you can afford the ammo then you can certainly afford the stock.

your weekend boob dump: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - twelve - thirteen


September 19, 2014

I Would Have Thought That With All The Rain Arizona Is Getting Lately, That Would Have Perked Up A Bit.

A couple of days ago I thumbnail linked a story about Salyut 7, which was a space station in low Earth orbit from April 1982 to February 1991. On 11 February 1985, contact with Salyut 7 was lost and the station began to drift, with all systems shut down. It was once again decided to attempt to repair the station, in what was in the words of author David S. F. Portree "one of the most impressive feats of in-space repairs in history." And when you watch this video of astronauts spotting cities from the International Space Station, you get a really good sense of just how fucking fast they're moving in relation to the ground.

Empress Orchid is a novel by Anchee Min which was first published in Great Britain in 2004. It is written in first person and is a sympathetic account of the life of Empress Dowager Cixi - from her humble beginnings to her rise as the Empress Dowager. Names within the Empress Orchid story are different in spelling but retain the same pronunciation - allowing the reader to identify each relevant character to his or her real life counterpart. You see, one thing that kind of makes my job easier is finding topless photos of women at the beach; more often than not, these women are predominantly European where seeing a woman's breasts aren't that big of a deal, where as here in the states we guffaw and bite the palms of or hands. This is one of those times where I tend to agree with the European mindset, and not because I like boobs, but because they're just boobs. Another example: Chickens might not fly much in life, but in death, a few of them got some pretty good air time with this odd U.K. stunt for McDonald's new Chicken Legend sandwich. It's a truly great tasting chicken burger made from a high quality piece of chicken breast fillet, in a crispy coating infused with seasoning and spices. Served in a warm, toasted Bakehouse roll, with Bacon, Batavia lettuce and a a smear of cool mayo. But don't go looking for the McDonalds Legend here in the United States; it's only available in the United Kingdom and even then, for a limited time only.

Kong is a popular line of dog toys and cat toys introduced in 1976. Made of rubber, they are hollow in the middle, and can be stuffed with treats or frozen to provide long-lasting distraction for anxious or high-energy dogs. The classic Kong resembles a snowman-like structure of three balls pushed together, but Kongs come in several variations for dogs of different ages and sizes; red for average chewers, pink or blue for puppies, purple for seniors, and black for tough chewers.

Ernie, here's an even better set Bavaria beer girl here. Keith

But on to more important things, shall we? Open up those peepers for another challenge. Can you identify where these two girls are, or more specifically, what (festival?) they're at? Here's a close up of the banner.

And if you're a Lexus fan, some folks were invited to the Monticello Motor Club to test drive the 2015 Lexus RC F, and they left with a big smile on their face.

With over 50 rental locations across the country and 50 years of experience, National Construction Rentals and National Event Services provide world-class service, widespread distribution, and exceptional expertise to construction and special event clients. For every temporary site need from safely securing a location and providing comfortable portable restrooms to preventing theft and controlling crowds – you can rest assured and trust National Construction Rentals to deliver the perfect solution.

In February of last year I picked up a Burris AR322 red dot sight for $287 shipped to my door. Which is pretty awesome given they started out at $400+ at full MSRP. There's a newer and upgraded version (5x vs 3x) called the AR536 and it too runs in the $400 range. Except now you can score one for $206.85 including shipping. You bastards!

I like a good game that's well thought out. So “Bungie” worked with Activision (Call of Duty) to get “Destiny” going. It cost over 500 million dollars which is about twice as much as it cost to make Avatar and also the most expensive video game ever made. So maybe if the PC can handle it, (I would imagine it being something akin to pulling a house over with ATV) it may be worth wasting a few hours eating Cheetos in my bean bag naked. -Ryan

Stunning special effects aside, Destiny has been a disappointing game to many players for a number of reasons, many of which were detailed in a 5 stars out of 10 review of the game. At times, Destiny feels like the consummate MMO, but at other times it seems clear that its developers at Bungie fail to grasp the qualities that good MMOs actually good.

Cheez-It is an American snack food cracker manufactured by the Kellogg Company through the Sunshine Biscuits division. They are roughly 26 by 24 mm (1.0 by 0.95 inch) rectangular crackers made with wheat flour, vegetable oil, sharp cheddar cheese, salt, and spices. The product was introduced in 1921 by the Green and Green company of Dayton Ohio; a series of corporate acquisitions made Cheez-It the property of the Keebler Company in 1996. There are a variety of Cheez-It related products, including Baby Swiss, White Cheddar, Parmesan & Garlic, Cheddar Jack, Pepper Jack, Italian Four Cheese, Colby, Reduced Fat, Snack Mix (formerly called Party Mix), Snack Mix Double Cheese, Hot & Spicy made with Tabasco, Mozzarella, Provolone, Duoz Sharp Cheddar & Parmesan, Duoz Smoked Cheddar & Monterey Jack, Scrabble Junior, and the Cheez-It Big.

The FG 42 is a selective fire battle rifle produced in Nazi Germany during World War II. The weapon was developed specifically for the use of the Fallschirmjäger airborne infantry in 1942 and was used in very limited numbers until the end of the war. It combined the characteristics and firepower of a light machine gun in a lightweight form no larger than the standard-issue Kar 98k bolt-action rifle. Considered one of the most advanced weapon designs of World War II, the FG 42 influenced post-war small arms development and most of its design was copied by the US Army when they developed the M60 machine gun. And one just sold for $299,000 at auction.


September 18, 2014

Left Wheel. Blue.

Okay kids, serious business here, because I suspect shit is about go get real before this year comes to an end, and I think we're going to pay a toll soon over what shitty border security we have. So if you aren't taking at least some precautions or making minimal preparations, I think you're doing yourself a disservice. I think for the most part, we'll be able to lean on our gub'mint for the majority of it, but the harsh reality is we can't expect them to catch everything. Not that I think Southwest Florida is big on anyone's hit list, but for you poor fuckers in the larger metropolitan areas, I know I sound like a broken record about having some means to to defend yourself, I ain't just whistlin Dixie.

The Joker is a unique playing card found in most modern card decks, as an addition to the standard four suits: clubs, diamonds, hearts and spades. The often colorful card has a rich history, and varying interpretations depending on specific card games and their rules. Jokers also appear as tiles in some Mahjong game sets, primarily in the American version of Mahjong. It is believed that the term "Joker" comes from Jucker, the original German spelling of Euchre. The card was originally introduced in about 1860 for games of that family to be used as the highest trump.

National Football League Cheerleading is a professional cheerleading organization and popular attraction that can give an NFL team more coverage/airtime, popular local support and increased media image. As of 2014, 26 of the 32 NFL teams include a cheerleading squad in their franchise; 7 teams do not have cheerleading squads: Buffalo Bills, Chicago Bears, Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, New York Giants, and the Pittsburgh Steelers. At the end of the day, we don't need to understand the economic or psychological reasons for the existence of NFL cheerleaders to appreciate them. And that's what today's collection of sexy NFL cheerleader GIFs is all about.

At the end of the Vietnam Way, the USS Midway pushed over $10 million dollars worth of UH-1 Huey helicopters overboard and into the South China sea, all so a single Cessna O-1 flown by South Vietnamese Air Force Major Buang-Ly and his family could land onboard. Sound absurd? Well it's true whether you believe it or not! And the O-1 that Major Buang landed is now on display at the Naval Aviation Museum in Pensacola, FL.

I'm at work so I can't check it out until later. Can you find this location? Keep up the good work! Rich

Well first I did some Google image searchging and came across this gallery which will make most grown men weep. Then I stumbled across another picture of the accident, only from a different angle. Notice the front license plate? California. So searching for Skyline Road in California it's only a matter of time until you find one that ends in a T-intersection with a road that begins with the letter "F" and overlooking a hill... viola! The intersection of Skyline Road and Foothill Road, in Ventura, California. You're welcome.

Now let me ask you to identify the manufacturer of these floating foam turtles. I can tell you they are not made by: Nuby, Chunky Critters, One Step Ahead, or Babies R Us.

7 Up is a brand of lemon-lime flavored, non-caffeinated soft drink. The rights to the brand are held by Dr Pepper Snapple Group in the United States, and PepsiCo in the rest of the world. The U.S. version of the 7 Up logo includes a red spot between the "7" and "Up"; this red spot has been animated and used as a mascot for the brand as Cool Spot. A variation, Orange-Up, was available for a short time in Norway during the mid-1990s. It was pulled off the market after 2–3 years. Today, 7 Up Orange can still be bought in Austria and The Netherlands.

Hey Ern. Just a tid-bit on The Fighting Muskies. My Wife is one. New Concord is actually a "DRY" town, with numerous drive-thrus just outside the boundaries. We live about 20 minutes away, with a drive-thru just across the street. Scott, in Zanesville, Ohio.

Have you seen this series of videos on Lego rifles? Lookup "lego lee enfield" on youtube. Could these be considered "assault" rifles? Do they have too many rounds in the magazine? keith

No matter how shitty your day is going, there's always someone whose day is just a little shittier.

Our multi-million dollar fleets of Predators and Reaper drones are quickly becoming the exception rather than the rule. As UAV technology continues its breakneck advance, the cost of producing even high-performance ISR drones is plummeting. This new UAV, for example, is so inexpensive and quick to create that it's practically disposable. Dubbed the Razor by its creators at the University of Virginia, this 1.8 pound, 4-foot-wide flying wing is powered by a single prop and controlled with nothing more than an Android tablet from up to a mile. It can also plot its own autonomous course using GPS.

The Dark Knight? The Empire Strikes Back? Terminator 2? The Naked Gun 2 1/2? Which of these which was the better sequel, in your opinion?


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