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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
May 22, 2015

6am Wake Up+ Flu Like Symptoms (Including Body Aches) + 4 Motrin = Grey Goose Screwdriver By 10am.

Airhead and Sportsstuff inflatables and accessories are made of the highest quality materials in the industry. We pride ourselves in building our products with 840 denier nylon covers and 30 gauge PVC bladders, a standard few others can stand behind. If there's a tube shape that can be ridden while towed behind a boat, we make it. If there's a water toy boating enthusiasts are craving, look no further than Sportsstuff!

Huh. If you think you've got what it takes, then identify this red bottle.

Delta Airline's Internetest Safety Video on the Internet takes the form of a traditional airline safety instruction video, but with one key difference: It's populated by an army of famous internet characters and memes, like the “Charlie Bit My Finger” kids and that dancing baby from like 15 years ago.

Finding the Staples Center might be easy, but finding the Hotel Figueror is a different story.

Hi Ernie, Nopem that's not a Catholic saint medal, that looks like your standard run of the mill cameo pendant. Kelly

Hey, Ernie: this is CAMAFEU! Erre from Santos, Brasil [Google Translate: Portugese -> English]

This is my best guess as to where the hottie going to North Carolina is parked. The terrain is different behind both signs in Jackson County though. Cameron

I'm pretty sure that's the correct location as well, Cameron. if you look at this map of Jackson County, there's only that small horizontal section that abuts against the state border, and there's only one major road (Route 107) going in/out. Plus foliage changes with the seasons, the guard rail doesn't. For as far far back as 2008, and due to the poor quality of the original photo, I suspect it was taken well before the DOT implemented the ET-Plus style guardrail terminal to prevent vehicle impalement.

When I post a photo challenge, I generally like to know where I'm at. Is it solveable, is it in the US, is it current, is it old, that sort of shit. But hereth enter this picture. I traced it to link to the entire gallery. But where the fuck it it? Where the fuck is the trail split? Where the fuck is the bridge? The only thing I can tell you for sure is, it's in somewhere in Texas.

Ernie. This is a coat valet viewed from near a right angle and it's not leaning against the window - look at the shadow behind it. Sammie

Hi Ern: Happy Memorial Day! The AK-74 video was great! If you look closely at 0:29 you can see what appears to be the bullet keyholing. Although somewhat blurry, you can see the shock wave cone clearly enlarge and elongate. Regards, Gary

Slo-mo keyholing is super cool. Long bullets, especially ones like in the 5.45x39, yaw after they leave the muzzle. Only after travelling some distance do they "settle down" and fly straight, so it's not unheard of to get elongated keyholes at close range, just so long as they disappear at the longer ranges. If the bullets didn't eventually stabilize, the problem would be worse at longer ranges and accuracy would be terrible and no one would want one. Keyholing can also occur with incompatible twist/velocity; so if you're seeing some keyholding, it may be worthwhile to experiment with a bullet of a different weight; commercially speaking there are 55, 60, and grain bullets available for the 5.45x39. The most common'y available round -- and the round designed for the gun -- is a relatively light 52.9 gr 7N6 round which you can grab up a 1080 round of Russian surplus for $239, which is $0.22/round. So I think it's a mistake for this guy to say "this gun keyholes" without first having experiemnted with different bullet weight and target distances. And a damn fine Memorial Day Weekend to you too, sir. Also, my 500 rounds of .22lr are on the way, w00t!

May 21, 2015

No Fucks Will Be Given Today, Tomorrow, Or Next Week.

Drag racers first recognized the traction benefit of slick tires, whose benefit they could readily verify by elapsed times for the standing-start quarter mile. In spite of compelling evidence of improved traction, more than twenty years passed before slicks were commonly used for racing cars, and another twenty before they reached racing motorcycles. Today, slicks are used in all weather on most street motorcycles.

One of the cool things about Grand Theft Auto V is that the player isn't tied to any specific linear set of tasks and is pretty much free to do whatever he or she wants within it. Most of us abuse this freedom by running amok with guns and cars, but one player known as LioN KoLLA used the game to create something qorthwhile: a goddamn Breaking Bad tribute.

The Home Depot is an American retailer of home improvement and construction products and services. It operates many big-box format stores across the United States including all 50 U.S. states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, the United States Virgin Islands and Guam, all ten provinces of Canada, as well as Mexico. Home Depot stores average 105,000 square feet in size and are organized warehouse-style, stocking a large range of supplies. The company color is a bright orange and is on signs, equipment and employee aprons. It was announced in August 2014 that Craig Menear will take over for Frank Blake as CEO while Blake will remain the chairman of the board.

Pay attention people, because the early bird gets the worm: CCI Mini-Mag 22 LR40 Gr 100-Round Box - $7.99 (Limit 5) with free shipping, if you get to this shit early. Added bonus: you get a $10 mail in rebate, knocking it down to $6/100 rounds.

I suppose finding this building on Google Streetview would be pretty easy for anyone who can read the language.

Hey Ernie, Could the photo challenge from December 20, 2013 featured the same girls in a different pose, be where you remember them from. Tim [YES!]

Hey Ernie, Yep, I remember that photo challenge, too. The girls are at South Padre Island, Texas, on a boat in front of Palm St. Pier Bar & Grill. More photos here. Keep 'em coming, Tim

I tried to find a better quality version of this photo, but no dice. Regardless, it's still doable. Show me where she pulled over.

World of Warcraft (WoW) is a massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) created in 2004 by Blizzard Entertainment. It is the fourth released game set in the fantasy Warcraft universe, which was first introduced by Warcraft: Orcs & Humans in 1994. With 7.1 million subscribers as of May 2015, World of Warcraft is currently the world's most-subscribed MMORPG, and holds the Guinness World Record for the most popular MMORPG by subscribers. Having grossed over 10 billion dollars as of July 2012, it is also the highest grossing video game of all time. In January 2014 it was announced that more than 100 million player accounts had been created over the game's lifetime.

And don't be shy about getting in on these photo challenges, everybody gets busted checking out the hot chick every once in a while.

Ernie, As it looks like the Monte Carlo is blocking the MGM I'm guessing she is staying way back at the Aria. Tom

Hi Ernie, The beautiful woman is staying at the Tower Suite at the Aria hotel at 3730 South Las Vegas Boulevard, Las Vegas, Nevada. If you go to this site and click on the Chrystals Suite, and then on Virtual Tour you will see the similar view and the similar window treatment. Yes, you are gonna need to get the suite and have a mountain of blow to get a chick like that in Vegas. Have a good one. Eric

Well that was unexpected: Martin Lewis, a 62-year-old retired San Antonio police detective, was among the 170 bikers rounded up after the Waco biker shootout. Meanwhile, the dumb cunts over at Moms Demand Action actually believe background checks would have prevented the Waco biker shooting.

Here's a little Holiday greeting I've been wanting to send to the Mandarin. I just didn't know how to phrase it until now. My name is Tony Stark and I'm not afraid of you. I know you're a coward, so I decided... that you just died, pal. I'm gonna come get the body. There's no politics here, it's just good old-fashioned revenge. There's no Pentagon. It's just you and me. And on the off-chance you're a man, here's my home address: 10880 Malibu Point, 90265. I'll leave the door unlocked. That's what you wanted, right?

There are 10 million members at Adult Friend Finder, all of which looking for fun filled action to keep warm this chilly season. Even if you don't want to hook up, sign up for free and check out tons of nude photos and profiles. With 10 million members, you may find the chick next door looking to get laid. And you ladies, don't be shy. Tons of guys are waiting for you, too. Just take the one minute to find some people in the area! So sign up for free then go to your e-mail to confirm your account and get busy!

May 20, 2015

Some Motherfuckers Just Can't Accept An Apology.

When I come across a photo that I can use on EHOWA, it usually falls under one of two categories. First are the 'informationa' ones where I simply explain something to you. For example, I can tell you that once Agip fuel company that incorporated small Italian bakeries into some of their gas stations; those stations could be identified by the Ciao Agip signs out front. The second category is the photo challenge, where I ask you what baseball stadium is on that poster. But every once in awhile, I kind of stumble across the hybrid. I was going to explain to you what the fuck this curved handled thing is leaning against the window, but fuck all if I can figure out what it is. The top is too curved and the shaft too thin to be a canoe paddle, so if you can pick up your goddamn smartphone, help me out because I'm genuinely fucking stumped. What the fuck is it?

Dan Bilzerian was born in Tampa, Florida, to Paul Bilzerian and Terri Steffen and has a brother, Adam. Half of the Bilzerian family was killed during the Armenian Genocide. His father, who is of Armenian descent, was a successful corporate raider on Wall Street and set up large trusts funds for each of his sons. Bilzerian entered the Navy SEAL training program in 2000. After several attempts, he did not graduate the program. As a professional poker player Bilzerian's most notable cash was in the 2009 World Series of Poker Main Event, for which he appeared on six episodes of the show's television broadcast. Starting in 2013, Bilzerian gained media attention from photos posted on his Instagram account. In December 2014, Bilzerian was embroiled in a legal matter with pornographic actress Janice Griffith, whom he threw off the roof of a house and into a pool as part of a photoshoot for Hustler magazine in April 2014. She fell short of the pool, hitting the edge, and broke her foot. Due to his lavish lifestyle, he reportedly suffered three heart attacks before the age of 32.

Silly lady, you can't see the the Cirqu Du Soleil from your hotel, that's the the MGM. What hotel did she mistakenly make her reservation for?

Hey Ernie, The water bottle brand that the beautiful young lady has, is from Ralphs, a Southern California grocery chain. Keep up the good work. NorCal Jeff

Hi Ernie. The California cash refund and the red Ralph's logo gave it away. Ralph's is a grocery chain in Southern California. I know it is a shitty picture for proof but this all I can find. While you are at Ralph's I bet you can find the Madea video in the $5 bin with other classics as Let's Go to Prison and Homeward Bound 3. You can find the crackers on aisle 7. Later Eric

Okay, refresh my memory. I am almost 99% certain that we've done a challenge on this marina before, but fuck all if I can find the photo. I seem to remember those ladies standing against a bar out on a pier. Am I losing my fucking mind, or what?

The AK-74 is an assault rifle developed in the early 1970s, by Russian designer Mikhail Kalashnikov as the replacement for the earlier AK-47. The rifle first saw service with Soviet forces engaged in the 1979 Afghanistan conflict. Here we have Larry from Vickers Tactical gives us an inside look to the AK-74. And of course should the mood strike you, you can pick up your own semiautomatic AK-74 starting just over $500 each.

A morcellator is a surgical instrument used for division and removal of large masses of tissues during laparoscopic surgery. It can consist of a hollow cylinder that penetrates the abdominal wall, ending with sharp edges or cutting jaws] through which a grasper can be inserted to pull the mass into the cylinder to cut out an extractable piece. In laparoscopic hysterectomy the uterus is minced up, or morcellated, into smaller pieces inside the woman's belly cavity in order to extract from the abdomen.

Hey Ernie, I found the green bottle, it appears to be Garnier Fructis Style Spike Explosion Power Gel. Keep up the good work. JB

A trellis is an architectural structure, usually made from an open framework or lattice of interwoven or intersecting pieces of wood, bamboo or metal that is normally made to support and display climbing plants, especially shrubs. There are many types of trellis for different places and for different plants, from agricultural types, especially in viticulture, which are covered at vine training systems, to garden uses for climbers such as grapevines, clematis, ivy, and climbing roses or other support based growing plants. The fan trellis is especially common in rose-growing areas, and many climbing rose varieties require a trellis to reach their potential as garden plants.

I remember watching cartoons like this when I was kid, and in my innocence, didn't think anything of it. Now when I watch them? HOLY SHIT! Mississippi Swing - All This and Rabbit Stew - Jungle Jitters - Scrub Me Mama With A Boogie Beat - although to be fair, I still don't have a problem with Bugs Bunny Nips the Nips or Daffy the Commando.

And so far, no one has been able to locate this old Soviet World War II memorial.

May 19, 2015

Ahh, The Early Twentieth Century Was A Magical Time, Was It Not?

Standard Oil controversial history as one of the world's first and largest multinational corporations ended in 1911, when the United States Supreme Court ruled that Standard was an illegal monopoly, and must be dissolved under the Sherman Antitrust Act and split into 34 different companies. Two of these companies were Jersey Standard, which eventually became Exxon; and Socony, which eventually became Mobil. Other Standard Oil breakup companies include "Standard Oil of Ohio" which became SOHIO, "Standard Oil of Indiana" which became Amoco after other mergers and a name change in the 1980s, and "Standard Oil of California" which became the Chevron Corp.

So the The second season of True Detective is on its way, and from the looks of the trailer, it is going to be very intense, and very very dark. The clip is about one minute long, and Rachel McAdams, is seen doing some very impressive work with a knife. Meanwhile, Colin Farrell shows his risque side, while Vince Vaughn plays the bad cop role. It also features a return of what's shaping up to be the hot catchphrase of summer 2015: “We get the world we deserve.” The second season of True Detective will be premiering on June 21st on HBO.

So this one caught my eye yesterday, but I'll be damned if I'm going to search through all 94 pages of Catholic Saint medals to verify my hunch that this is some sort of Catholic Saint medal?

Cerebos is an English brand of salt and, more recently, other flavourings and nutritional supplements. Its promise was "See How It Runs", because it contained anti-caking agents; at the time of its introduction, salt was sold in large blocks from which the user would scrape what they needed. Free-running salt was a novelty because, left for any length of time, pure sodium chloride crystals would absorb sufficient moisture from the air to cause them to stick together. Only 2g of Cerebos Iodised Table Salt provides 15% of the recommended daily allowance of iodine.

Here is an absolutely FANTASTIC deal on used Glock handguns of almost every make and caliber.

The toothpaste is some sort of Arm & Hammer product. I'm stumped on the green package (deodorant? sunscreen?) Cynthia

Hi Ernie, I used to use this toothpaste brand, it's Arm and Hammer Complete. You can buy some of your own here. Love the site, Andrew

I do not know what the green bottle is, but the toothpaste is definitely Arm & Hammer Complete Care. Cameron

So Google Translate identifies the phrase "si moj medvedek" as Slovenian and translates it to "art my teddy bear" but my hunch is something is getting lost in translation.

And in case you missed it over the weekend, Spanish matador Saul Jimenez Fortes is lucky to be alive after being gored by a bull during the San Isidro Fair in Madrid. Fortes was rushed out of the bullfighting ring and taken to a local hospital after he was brutally gored, first in the stomach and then through his fucking neck. The bull horn that ripped into Fortes' neck apparently bruised both his carotid artery and jugular vein.

On April 1, 2015, Governor Jerry Brown issued California's first ever mandatory, statewide water restrictions and ordered the State Water Resource Control Board to implement a mandatory reduction in potable urban water use through February 2016. Citing the state's four-year drought after a winter of record-low snowfalls, Governor Brown , directed the State Water Resources Control Board to impose a 25 percent reduction on the state's 400 local water supply agencies, which serve 90 percent of California residents. So it is VERY important this girl get her California Refund for her bottled water. Tell me what brand she's drinking.

Sometimes wish Shannon Watts would shut her hand in a car door and break her fingers, so the twat couldn't tweet anymore.


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