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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
April 1, 2015

Emptied The Sugar Bowl This Morning And Refilled It With Salt. Good Times, Good Times.

Well, today is the day, so you know what that means. Time for some epic April Fools pranks to play on your friends and co-workers.

Using sun block assures reliable skin protection against harmful rays generated by the sun. Astrid's SPF 20 sun lotion with its unique composition and combination of effective substances prolongs the time you can spend in the sun. So before staying in the sun for any extended period of time, apply Astrid Sun lotion 20 by rubbing gently into the dry skin. Created film is highly resistible against water and therefore is not necessary to reapply lotion after each swim.

Shakti Gawain is a New Age author and proponent of what she calls "personal development". Her books have sold over 10 million copies. Gawain's best known book is Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Life (1978), which launched a movement. She is the co-founder, with Marc Allen, of New World Library Publishing Company and founder of Nataraj Publishing, a division of New World Library. She is famous for her quote, "Problems are messages."

And if you're a woman and you want to make a lot of money without needing a lot of academical studies, it looks like pornography might be the answer. That is, if you are well endowed and generally people picture you naked and make you compliments of this sort. So here are 15 female porn actresses who have made the most money. Letting someone "fill their blanks" while on camera seems to have worked really well for them.

Here's a challenge that I'm not sure can be solved. I'd like to know what store this bag came from. If you notice the style of lightswitch, which is decidedly not North-American. That would suggest either a foreign company, or an American company with international reach.

Here's the obituary for Gary Dahl, the guy who invented the pet rock. Paul

Ernie - Not sure how toxic a person's gas needs to be to justify two kinds of air freshener, but it appears that the red and white can is Glade Honeysuckle Nectar Room Spray. Here's a second link which has a different view of the can for verification. ~Alex.

Here's a photo challenge, which to be honest I was able to solve but it was rather fun sleuthing this one out so I'll post it anyway. Find the origin of this painting. I'll give you a little hint: what you see in the painting isn't an accurate reproduction of the original photo since it wasn't taken on a city street.

Some hidden firearm storage now... here's a full length Stack-On in-wall gun cabinet for $71.38 shipped. And further down that page is a pistol grip for a Mosin-Nagant rifle for $11... but I swear, the next one of you primates even touches it...

Self-harm includes any behavior designed to provide relief from emotional pain or emotional numbness through self-inflicted physical trauma, the most common form of which is cutting. Individuals use razors, knives and other sharp objects to scratch or cut their skin. Most cutting is done on the arms, especially because it is an easily accessible location; many of these individuals hide the resulting scars with long shirts and bracelets. Other cutters seek attention from cutting and therefore don't hide their scars, but openly show their wounds or scars. The more hidden the scars are, the more severe the problem of self-harm tends to be. Individuals with self-harm issues also cut their breasts, thighs, back, hips, and legs.

March 31, 2015

I'm Pretty Sure Someone Is Going To Have To Call That Hotline.

On our list of timeless summer traditions that never go out of style: sidewalk chalk art, jump rope, and blowing bubbles. This summer entertain your kids and teach them about the science of bubbles. I found a great bubble recipe, which uses ordinary household items that you likely already have on-hand. You will need: 12 cups of water, 1 cup dish soap, 1 cup cornstarch, 2 tbsp baking powder. I found that Joy and Dawn dish soap brands work the best, but you can also use tear free baby shampoo if you have little ones around. While this bubble recipe is designed and tested to work in any weather, humidity really does matter.

Toss Across is a game first introduced in 1969 by the now defunct Ideal Toy Company. The game was designed by Marvin Glass and Associates and created by Hank Kramer, Larry Reiner and Walter Moe, and is now distributed by Mattel. It is a game in which participants play tic-tac-toe by lobbing small beanbags at targets in an attempt to change the targets to their desired letter. As in traditional tic-tac-toe, the first player to get three of their letters in a row wins the game. The targets are three-sided blocks situated on a frame such that the impact of the beanbags can turn the block, changing the letter. Each block has a blank side, an X, and an O. Modern boards are entirely plastic, less than a meter square. Six beanbags are included with the game.

Kettler is a German company based in Ense-Parsit, that produces bicycles, riding toys, leisure gear, patio furniture and exercise equipment. Originally starting in the attic of a saw-mill, Kettler grew into a worldwide manufacturing and distribution organization, selling Kettler's products in over 60 different countries. Kettler produces a number of high-quality table tennis tables, that are all true tournament bounce certified. In 1996, the committee of the Olympics in Atlanta chose Kettler as the official provider for table tennis gear for the summer games. To this day, Kettler manufactures and sells the same table that was used in the Olympics under the name "Atlanta".

Okay, now you can spend the rest of your day run around spewing movie quotes.

Ernie, I came across this aricle and thought you might appreciate it or have some thoughts. My son is following my footsteps into the Navy and I am learning that Navy basic has undergone a similar transformation in the last 20 years. Much like my basic was kinder and gentler than the generation before me, I can't help but think that somewhere along the way, we are losing the thing that made going into the military something that set you apart from the rest of the world. The system was never perfect, but it it did teach me, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Mike

Many, many moons have passed since I went through Air Force basic military training. When I went through, the AF's BMT program was only six weeks long -- I was only there for two weeks under a now extinguished program called Proficiency Advancement, thanks to my Billy Mitchell award -- but nowhere on the to-do list do I recall seeing such shit as basic war skills or combat lifesaving, and we sure as fuck didn't go out into the field for a bivouac. So I'm pretty comfortable saying the BMT program they have going now is harder than I went through, even those without PA. Having said, that, yeah this Capstone shit -- a concept originally planned for newly promoted general officers -- sounds like they're chastisement the ball of redemption.

As with most things, the simplest solution is usually the best solution. Last week Discrete Defense Solutions announced the release of a very simple AR-15 truck mount designed to hold your AR in a truck next to the driver's seat. The mount can be easily installed by simply opening the center console lid, placing the mount inside, and shutting the console lid. No tools are required as the clasp fits easily into this space, and it may be removed and stored when it isn't needed. This week, they released one for the larger AR-10 platform.

Moby Dick is a novel by Herman Melville considered an outstanding work of Romanticism and the American Renaissance. Ishmael narrates the monomaniacal quest of Ahab, captain of the whaler Pequod, for revenge on Moby Dick, a white whale which on a previous voyage destroyed Ahab's ship and severed his leg at the knee. Although the novel was a commercial failure and out of print at the time of the author's death in 1891, its reputation as a Great American Novel grew during the twentieth century. William Faulkner confessed he wished he had written it himself, and D. H. Lawrence called it "one of the strangest and most wonderful books in the world", and "the greatest book of the sea ever written". "Call me Ishmael" is one of world literature's most famous opening sentences.

There are 10 million members at Adult Friend Finder, all of which looking for fun filled action to keep warm this chilly season. Even if you don't want to hook up, sign up for free and check out tons of nude photos and profiles. With 10 million members, you may find the chick next door looking to get laid. And you ladies, don't be shy. Tons of guys are waiting for you, too. Just take the one minute to find some people in the area! So sign up for free then go to your e-mail to confirm your account and get busy!

March 30, 2015

So Long Lieutenant Colonel Robert Hite , We Hardly Knew Ye.

Lieutenant Colonel Robert Hite was among 80 men aboard 16 B-25 bombers whose mission was to strike Japan in April 1942. While the Doolittle Raids inflicted only scattered damage, it was credited with boosting American morale while shaking Japan's confidence and prompting strategy shifts less than five months after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Eight of the Doolittle Raiders were captured and three were executed; one more died in captivity and three others were killed after crash-landing or ditching at sea. Hite was among the Japanese captives and was imprisoned for 40 months before being liberated by American troops in 1945. In 1951, he returned to active duty during the Korean War and served overseas before relief from active duty in 1955. Lieutenant Colonel Robert Hite passed away this Sunday morning, after a lengthy battle with Alzheimers disease. He was 95.

The hand salute is not simply an honor exchanged, it is a privileged gesture of respect and trust among soldiers and recognizes each other's commitment, abilities, and professionalism. The proper way to salute is to raise your right hand until the tip of your forefinger touches the outer edge of your right eyebrow, just above and to the right of your right eye. When wearing headgear, the forefinger touches the headgear slightly above and to the right of your right eye. Your fingers are together, straight, and your thumb snug along the hand in line with the fingers. Your hand, wrist, and forearm are straight, forming a straight line from your elbow to your fingertips. Your upper arm (elbow to shoulder) is horizontal to the ground.

You know that time when you had one too many drinks and it made you say the next day that you would never ever drink again? Well maybe all you needed was a better hangover cure. Besides that fact that you should have known better not to drink so much or mix your drinks. So what if I gave you the hangoverist's cookbook, with awesome advice and cures taken from all round the world? You'll probably already start drinking before the end of the article, just to test it.

When boating, neatness counts. Don't throw lines in heaps about the boat. They'll kink, tangle or jam when you need them and you and your passengers are likely to trip over them, creating a safety hazzard. Get into the habit of coiling your lines when they are not in use, and flemishing any lose ends on deck or dock. There is a good reason for this -- besides being safer -- stepping on a loose line can be like stepping on a marble, while stepping on a flemished line is like stepping on a mat. It also protects your lines from unnecessary, and unsafe, wear and tear and helps preserve the lay of twisted rope.

Those are tow bars for water skiing and hanging speakers. Offered by several manufactures. John

Hey Ernie, These are aftermarket wake board towers. I tried to attach a Google search for Wakeboard tower images but no go. They have nothing to do with the manufacturer of the boat. They can be attached to most any boat. It has a high center pin which attaches a tow rope changing the trajectory of the rope and thus how the wakeboarder is pulled through the water. A+ on the boobies. Cheers Randy

I've mentioned the Ruger Mini-14 two times over the last several years. First, back in November of 2011 when I mistakenly identified a Ruger Mini-14 as an M1 carbine. And then again in January of this year, when Marc inquired about this rifle, which we later identified an Ruger AC-556. I mention this only because the third time is a charm: you can grap some police trade-in Ruger Mini-14s for a paltry $499. As with many used and police trade-in firearms, these may contain scratches and/or signs of wear; this is not always the case, but should not be unexpected.

Noxzema Original Deep Cleansing Cream gives you clean, smooth skin with the classic Noxzema tingle. It reaches deep into pores to remove dirt, oil, and makeup, leaving your skin soft and smooth. Noxzema Deep Cleansing Cream is dermatologist tested, made with eucalyptus, soybean, and linseed oils. Use it on wet or dry skin, massaging your face in a circular motion before rinsing thoroughly. Noxzema Deep Cleansing Cream now comes in a bottle with pump.

Ernie, Found the pistol that supposedly suffered the catastrophic failure. It's not a real pistol at all, but a plastic toy cap gun. Looks like someone went to a lot of trouble to stage this scene for fake internet points on their favorite online image repository. That being said, if you happen to live in a neighborhood where this might have been real, make sure that you've got a solid security system that won't leave your ass exposed. -Scott

Ernie, Did a pic search and browsed a few comments on reddit, and a comment was it was a cap gun, like one he still has, (see link) Looks like a good match to the toy gun. Consensus is the blood is fake too. Carry on, my man! Tim in Okla

HI Ernie, enjoy the sea turtle close-ups! :-) Aloha, Carrie

A sphygmomanometer is a device used to measure blood pressure, composed of an inflatable cuff to restrict blood flow, and a mercury or mechanical manometer to measure the pressure. It is always used in conjunction with a means to determine at what pressure blood flow is just starting, and at what pressure it is unimpeded. A sphygmomanometer consists of an inflatable cuff, a measuring unit (the mercury manometer, or aneroid gauge), and a mechanism for inflation which may be a manually operated bulb and valve or a pump operated electrically. Manual sphygmomanometers are used in conjunction with a stethoscope.

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission estimates that child-resistant packaging for aspirin and oral prescription medication has saved the lives of about 800 children since the requirements were put into effect in the early 1970s. In order for child-resistant packaging to be effective we must remember to resecure the lids to all medications and potentially harmful substances after using them. Even if there are no small children living in your home it is advisable to use products with child-resistant packaging. A significant number of accidental poisonings occur when children are visiting other adults' homes and they come across prescription medications stored on tables and in nightstand drawers.

March 28, 2015

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

kevin smith bringing back jason lee and jeremy london for mallrats 2

collusion or coincidence? atf's ammo ban identical to UN ammo ban

your weekend boob dump: one - two - three - four - five - six - SEVEN - eight - nine - ten - eleven - ywelve - thirteen

March 27, 2015

Odds Are That's The Rental I'll Be Picking Up Next Week.

The great exponent of the Gita, Krishna is the ninth and the most complete avatar of Vishnu, the Godhead of the Hindu Trinity. Of all avatars he is the most popular and perhaps the one closest to the heart of the masses. This blue-skinned deity has influenced the Indian thought, life and culture in myriad ways - not only its religion and philosophy, but also into its mysticism and literature, painting and sculpture, dance and music, and all aspects of Indian folklore.

Counting coup refers to the winning of prestige in battle by the Plains Indians of North America. Warriors won prestige by acts of bravery in the face of the enemy, and these acts could be recorded in various ways and retold as stories. Any blow struck against the enemy counted as a coup, but the most prestigious acts included touching an enemy warrior with the hand, bow, or with a coup stick then escaping. Counting coup could also involve stealing an enemy's weapons or horses tied up to his lodge in camp. Risk of injury or death was required to count coup, and escaping unharmed was considered a higher honor than being wounded in the attempt.

There are some things you're never supposed to say on a date. And since most dates are basically negotiating for sex, you have to be really careful how you weigh your words. So, just to make sure, maybe you want to get these out of your repertoire.

Tom Romeo founded the Bearpaw brand in 2001 with the intention of redefining casual footwear by utilizing sheepskin, nature's own technical fabric, to create comfortable and stylish shoes. Now with an extensive line of footwear that covers multiple categories, Bearpaw is available throughout the United States and in thirteen countries around the world. Bearpaw will continue to offer the utmost in comfort while new products leverage their philosophy of creating stylish designs in premium materials for women, men and children.

An easy one, Westminster bridge, London, United Kingdom, You can buy the sunglasses here when in the U.K. Rick

The other two albums are Lauryn Hill 's The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill and Joe's Better Days. Ryker

I can't say that I've ever seen a boat with a looks like the type of UTV roll cage style bimini, like you'd find on a Polaris RZR or Can-Am Maverick. Usually boat biminis are flimsy lightweight aluminum. Any idea what company make the boats in the top right corner?

The Ukrainian wreath is a type of wreath which, in traditional Ukrainian culture, is worn by girls and young unmarried women. The wreath may be part of a tradition dating back to the old East Slavic customs that predate the Christianization of Rus. The flower wreath remains a part of the Ukrainian national attire, and is worn on festive occasions and on holy days. The wreath varied in many of the regions of Ukraine; young women throughout the country wore various headdresses of yarn, ribbon, coins, feathers and grasses, but these all had the same symbolic meaning. In parts of central and eastern Ukraine the flowers were raised in the center front. Usually multicolored, embroidered ribbons were attached to the back.

We have three lakes by our house. Not unusual to see turtles. This guy says another car hit the turtle and shot it into his grill. I don't know but either the car or the turtle was flying because he was wedged in so tight the grill had to come off to get it out. Shannon

Be the first one to receive email notifications when any of the vendors that participate in Slickguns shopping comparison system get the new Glock model in stock and available for sale.

Boiled beef is a traditional English dish which used to be eaten by working-class people in London; however, its popularity has decreased in recent years. Traditionally it was the cheaper cuts of meat that were used as boiling would make the meat more tender than roasting. It was not uncommon for the beef to be salted in a brine for a few days, then soaked overnight to remove excess salt before it was boiled. It was usually cooked with onions and served with carrots and boiled potatoes. In other parts of England cabbage replaced carrots.


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