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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
September 15, 2014

Ah, The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same.

Sometime Saturday morning, this article came across my news feed as one of Facebook's recommended articles. Also, big fucking surprise Facebook, time to review your algorithm. So I'm sipping my morning cup of java and nursing a small hangover, and then we get the point that really frosts my ass, "The ‘responsible gun owner'- passenger decided that this was a good time to run away, apparently with gun in hand." Look, I can appreciate the fact that some people don't like guns. I can appreciate the fact that some people are even anti-gun. But why the incessant need for these people to use the tongue-in-cheek 'responsible gun owner' label? So in between sips of coffee I decided to do a little Facebook stalking and politely engage the author in a discussion over her choice of words. I was very polite, very non-confrontational, I didn't hit her with a barrage of brutally honest facts, or try to argue the merits of owning a firearm. I simply tried to explain the different between a responsible and irresponsible gun owner. And now I'm blocked.

The Blue Hawaii was invented in 1957 by Harry Yee, legendary head bartender of the Hilton Hawaiian Village in Waikiki, Hawaii when a sales representative of Dutch distiller Bols asked him to design a drink that featured their blue color of curacao liqueur. After experimenting with several variations he settled on a version somewhat different from the most popular version today, but with the signature blue color, pineapple wedge, and cocktail umbrella. Modern recipes for The Blue Hawaii contain made of rum, pineapple juice, blue curacao, sweet and sour mix, and sometimes vodka as well. It should not be confused with the similarly named Blue Hawaiian cocktail that contains creme of coconut instead of sweet and sour mix.

Old and busted: Major Leage Baseball's interactive salary vs performcence chart. The new hotness: National Football's League's players vs crimes chart. You know, there was a time when the Raiders would have ruled this chart -- right along with the AFC West -- but through respectable felonies like stealing cars and starting bar fights, not hitting women. Ah, the good ol days. We already knew Ray Rice had knocked his wife out cold in the elevator of an Atlantic City casino. Now we have all seen the video, so today we should also take a look at 11 other douchebag famous pro athletes accused of domestic violence over the years. Tragically, the list is far from comprehensive, it's just the tip of the iceberg.

The Logitech Harmony One Universal remote is a must have for any self respecting guy. This remote makes setting up and operating any home theater a breeze. The Logitech Harmony one advanced universal remote control is one of the most ergonomically designed remotes we've ever laid our hands on. The large color screen is brilliant and intuitive, simply press one button, be it, play a DVD or listen to the radio and the remote will turn on the devices you need and turn off ones you don't.

Good Morning Ernie, Great site, bla bla. Anyway, saw your post on the Bundy reunion, and ran across this gem. Enjoy! Eric R.

hey Ernie, Here's a cool 3-minute compilation of stuff they would never ever let people do in an air show in the US! Cheers, Charley

I've always known Snoop Dogg's real name was Calvin Broadus. What I didn't know is like me, he's a junior but has a middle name more fucked up than mine.

Okay, I'm a little pissy about this one, as I'm like 99% positive I've featured one of this woman's photos before.... what brand of beer is she drinking? I can't help but think we've done her before, yes? Or, no?

You've worked hard to acquire valuable assets that are important to you. Why risk losing them to fire or theft? Should the unthinkable happen and your home or office is burglarized or catches fire, a quality safe will protect your valuables, important documents, investments, and irreplaceable heirlooms from destruction. And, unlike a bank safe deposit box or secured storage facility, a safe installed in your home provides convenient, ready access to your stored items, day or night. For only $899 shipped right to your door, consider the massive 680 lb Sports Afield 6040 Executive Vault, which offers 60 minute of fire protection with a deluxe door organizer and electronic lock, and 30.6 cubic feet of storage for up to 41 long guns, important papers, autographed copies of Army of Darkness, and other important valuables.

The Pink Panther is the main and title character in the opening and closing credit sequences of every film in The Pink Panther series except for A Shot in the Dark and Inspector Clouseau. His popularity spawned a series of theatrical shorts, merchandise, a comic book, and television cartoons. He starred in 124 short films, 10 television shows and three prime time specials. Owens Corning have featured the character for many years as an advertising mascot for their pink-colored residential building insulation.

Attention holiday shoppers: Microsoft announces Xbox 360 holiday value bundles. Think a 500 GB bundle with Call of Duty: Ghosts and Call of Duty: Black Ops II along with one month of Xbox Live Gold access for $249. You're welcome.



September 13, 2014

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

14 celebrity facts most people don't know - just for men: protect your sexual health by avoiding these 5 bad habits

looking for a deal on an AK-47 that would make ice cube proud? - mcgangbang: 15 secret menu items at mcdonalds

your weekend picture dump: one - two - three - FOUR - five - six - seven - EIGHT - nine - ten - eleven - TWELVE


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September 12, 2014

If Only I Could Have Gotten Richard Kiel on ErnieCam.

So in April of this year, I upgraded from my old HTC Rezound to the new Samsung 5S. I love my new phone, but there are just a few quirks I can't seem to find a good workaround for, one of which is getting the MicroSD card to mount as a drive volume when the phone is plugged into my computer via USB port. See back in the days of my HTC REzound, when plugged ye olde phone into the computer, the MicroSD card mounted as a drive letter. As such, it was accessible from the command prompt for file manipulation. This new phone mounts as a device (Samsung-SM-G900V) instead of a drive letter, so the Erniecam scripts can't "see" the MicroSD card to pull the photos from. Unfortunately, I don't think this is something I can change, because how the phone chooses to make its MicdoSD card accessible to the computer isn't up to my choosing, it's hard coded into Samsung's firmware.

Now back in the day, before you could plug your phone into your computer and see it as a hard drive, I used to choose what pictures I wanted to post then them email them to my computer at home. I had disabled this function many moons ago, simply because there was no longer a need; plug and play replaced any need for emailing. So for now I've temporarily dusted that feature off and so Erniecam is once again back up and running, as can be seen by my excursion to Sebring Raceway a few weeks ago. And that driver in the yellow that's all fucked up? Broke his leg in the crash and was carted away via ambulance.

Richard Dawson Kiel was an American actor known for his role of the steel-toothed Jaws in the James Bond movies The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker, as well as Mr. Larson in the 1996 comedy Happy Gilmore and as Samson in 1974's The Longest Yard. Kiel's distinctive height and features were a result of a hormonal condition known as acromegaly. In his prime, Kiel stood 7 feet 1.5 inches tall, although he noted in his 2002 autobiography he used to state he was 7 feet 2 inches because it was easier to remember. Kiel suffered from a fear of heights and during the cable car stunt scenes in Moonraker, a stunt double was used because Kiel refused to be filmed on the top of a cable car 2000 feet in the air. In 1992, Kiel suffered a severe head injury in a car accident, which affected his balance. He was subsequently forced to walk with a cane to support himself, as shown in his appearance in the movie Happy Gilmore, where he is seen leaning on a person or a cane. Kiel died two days ago on September 10, at age 74, three days before his 75th birthday. So Long, Jaws, We Hardly Knew Ye.

Old and busted: fast food's false advertising. The new hotness: frozen food's false advertising.

Now, approximately a metric shit-ton of people wrote in and explained what these little red things are, but the first of which was...

Hey Ern, The red things hanging on chains are an ingenious little device to encourage people to return their shopping carts. In order to take a cart, you have to put in a quarter. To get your quarter back, you have return the cart. I wish everybody used them, so we wouldn't have lazy assholes leaving carts around in the parking lots. Steve in Duluth

The Today Show's Jeff Rossen and NBC producer Jovanna Billington believe the best way for you to protect yourself and your family during a home invasion is to use your car's panic alarm and to keep a can of wasp spray handy. Now ancedotal evidence found on the internet aside, this is a bullshit idea on so many different levels. Fortunately this 47 year old widow had a better idea when a 20 year old methhead broke into her home. No doubt she took her cue from Burt and Heather Gummer, eh? And seriously, if you beak into a widow's home, you're nothing but a piece of shit. And of course you'd like to take another cue from Burt's Gummer's Book of Awesomeness, well you can do that, too.

Because everyone should be free to make own decisions in life, even after reading every clever quote they find on the Internet, but listening to what terminal patients recommend to younger ones, well, it can't hurt, can it? And probably a good purpose in life would be to learn how not to regret what happened in the end.

I am pretty sure this red and white delivery truck is parked under the same dual-bulb street light where this photo was taken, although one of the bulbs looks broken off now.

But I will need the attention pipe smokers: what material is this pipe made from? Wood? Bone? Ivory, maybe?

Ern, Great website and I have been a lurker for many years. I work in the A/C industry and our brand is closely related to Carrier/United Technologies. The split A/C unit in the photo has the Daikin name in the lower left corner and I believe the tag your blew-up reads inverter. I was surprised to learn recently that Daikin acquired McQuay and dropped the McQuay name last year. (See below also) Clint – Scottsdale, Arizona

A downspout is a pipe for carrying rainwater from a rain gutter, usually vertical and usually extend down to ground level. The water is directed away from the building's foundation, to protect the foundations from water damage. The water is usually piped to a sewer, or let into the ground through seepage. Downspots can be made from a variety of materials such as cast iron, lead, zinc, galvanised steel, painted steel, copper, painted aluminium, PVC and other plastic), concrete, stone, and wood.

In what can only be described as the coolest fucking thing ever, a Japanese toy train floats on a track through quantum levitation. "The effect occurs when a superconductor expels a magnetic field, accomplished in this scenario by the cooling brought on by liquid nitrogen." Damn Japan, you crazy!

A lattice tower is a framework construction made of steel or aluminum sections. Lattice towers are used for power lines of all voltages, and are the most common type for high-voltage transmission lines. Lattice towers are usually made of galvanized steel. Aluminum is used for reduced weight, such as in mountainous areas where structures are placed by helicopter. Aluminum is also used in environments that would be corrosive to steel. The extra material cost of aluminum towers will be offset by lower installation cost. Design of aluminum lattice towers is similar to that for steel, but must take into account aluminum's lower Young's modulus.


Ernie's House of Whoopass! September 11, 2013

September 11, 2001

I actually took this Tuesday morning off work, so that I could take my car in to get it's 5000 mile service. Traffic was a exceptionally bad, so I was flipping through the radio stations trying to find something to listen to. It seemed every station was talking and talking and talking about mundane crap as many morning radio stations often do. I finally settled on one and began to settle into the fact that I'd be creeping through traffic for the next hour. Then the morning show host mentioned how a co worker was running into the station... it seemd a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center.

Ha, I thought. Another bonehead tourist plane probably. The old building can take it. I remember reading that back in 19'some'odd when an Army Air Corp bomber crashed into the Empire State building in dense fog. Darwinism, I thought.

They finally got around to playing a few songs, which was a welcome break from the talking I had previous mentioned. Then the host breaks into music, right in the middle of a song, and states that a second plane, a big commercial motherfucker, had crashed into the World Trade Center also. At this point, I got angry. How dare they publicize such a stupid prank? How dare they? This isn't funny. This is horrible. I was actually contemplating picking up my cell phone and calling in to bitch someone out. And the thought occured to me... check another station. So I did. And they were talking about it too. And so was another. And another. This was for real.

I arrived at the dealership and there, in the customer lounge, were salesman, customers, managers, mechanics and receptionists all gathered around the television. There was an image of the peak of the World Trade Center Towers. There was a lot of smoke. People in the room were talking about terror and tragedy. After a few seconds later, the news media replayed footage of the second plane impact. I remember thinking that since he impacted the corner of the second tower, it looks like the guy missed his mark. I was somehow almost grateful. Imagine the loss of life if the whole fucking tower had come down in the impact.

We, a group of stunned and horrified people with only our American blood as a common thread, watched for a while longer. The coffee machine remained untouched. People were glued to the TV. Footage of victims and the rescue workers assisting them began to make their way around to the news media. Then the news broadcaster said they the windows in the building he was in shook. He heard a bang. He looked out of his window and saw people running away from the Pentagon. Hmmm. A car bombing maybe? Christ there's going to be a few hundred people killed in this attack, I thought.

Then the unthinkable happened. Right in the middle of Peter Jenning's sentence, right before my very eyes, the burning hulk that was once one of the two World Trade Center Towers, collapsed. Right before my very fucking eyes. There was dust, a mushroom cloud of it and the top of the tower just disappeared into it. It almost looked like it had been imploded, like you see on the Learning Channel late at night sometimes. It was gone, just like that. I can't imagine how many people died, right before my very fucking eyes. I turned to the gentleman sitting next to me, "is this really happening?" I asked. We were all stunned to find that one of the pilots of the hijacked planes lives in Dracut, Massachusetts. That's two towns over from where I live.

Surely the other one can't fall too. The media said that plane was much smaller, and it hit so much higher up. It can take the hit I thought. It'll be okay.

But I was wrong. Before too long, that tower collapsed too, killing with it not only the few thousand unfortunate souls still trapped inside but probably hundreds of rescue workers trying to aid the victims of the first crash. It's radio attenna on top dipped a bit, wavered left, and then too cascaded in a monster cloud of dust. And the news confirmed another plane had crashed into the Pentagon. I guess it wasn't a carbomb after all. Now all the airports are closed. And the railways. And they say another plane just crashed near Pittsburg. There is speculation that it didn't crash at all, but was rather shot down by Air Force fighters after the plane refused to respond to communication attempts and was headed directly towards Camp David. It's circulating now that perhaps that was just a rumor. God bless their souls either way. I fear the final body count in this whole ordeal, which in my uneducated estimates will climb into the tens of thousands.

Speculation is abound as to who is the root of all evil. The usual suspects turn up, as one might imagine. The news media is going through extraordinary steps of political correctness to not suggest any one of them is more or less likely to be the mastermind behind it, so as not to offend anyone.

Fuck that. We all know who is behind it. That tall, skinny, limping fuckhead Osama bin Laden. I know it, you know it, we all know it so let's cut to the fucking chase.

Some people say this is a time for restraint. I again reiterate my words of wisdom of, Fuck that. This is NOT a time for restraint. Restraint was yesterday. Today is a time for action. A time for downright coldhearted asskicking revenge. A time for retaliation justified ten thousand times. A time for stealth bombers and tomahawk missiles. A time for napalm. This is not a time for politicians to use words like 'dispicable' or 'cowardly'. I want them to use words like, "Yeah we found out who it was, and we kicked their fucking ass. We bombed them, we watched their families burn to death, watched their houses burn to the ground, and then I went and pissed on their ashes." I do not want my government to give a measured calculated response. Fuck that. I want them to react in a furious rage blinded by the visions of burned bodies on the streets of an American city and bomb any fucking person or persons or foreign government that ever did, does, or we suspect ever will coordinate a terrorist act

And to you Osama bin Laden, I tell you this. I may be stunned, I may be angry, I may be shocked, but I am NOT terrified. No, I drove home from my job today, which will be open tomorrow, and I drove through McDonalds and got a super sized Big Mac extra value meal. Business as usual. I continued on home, parked my car, and turned on my big fucking 65" television with which to watch the news. I am proud to say I am from Massachusetts and my Governor had the courage and wisdom to keep our voting polls open. Americans may grieve today, but we will excercise our right to vote and continue on our lives. Those were not just innocent people that you killed today, they were Americans. And one day, one day very soon, either I or another of my countrymen will slip a knife into your belly and twist it. We will watch as the energies of life slowly drain from your body. And then just before you die, I will place my mouth over yours, I will suck out your last breath and I will eat it.

Gotta go, have to give blood. God bless America. Glad you're safe SantaSam.

inside the new 1 world trade center

when does 9/11 become just another day in history?

16 numbers that remind us to honor the sacrifice of 9/11 responders

do you remember the falling man? - a look at 9/11 memorials around the country

official one world trade center time-lapse 2004-2013 - spire wtc final segment lift via gopro

the 9/11 rescue dogs: the portraits of the last surviving animals who scoured ground zero one decade on


September 10, 2014

Wind Mitigarion Inspection? More Like Wind Wallet Colonoscopy.

So one fucking that that's really shitty down here in Florida is the homeowners insurance market racket. Since insurers only want to take your money but never pay it out, they never want to assume anything even close to a risk. For the last nine years, casa'del'Ernie has been insured through Liberty Mutual to the tune of $1,900 per year. And just this week I get a notice they're non-renewing my policy. Keep in mind no claims against the policy and we haven't had a hurricane since 2005, this is just a fuck you we're not insuring Florida anymore. Many of the big nationwide companies such as Allstate, State Farm, USAA, Nationwide, have all done the same. They're about as fucking honest in their, "Oh We're Here For You," bullshit advertising as McDonalds is with their fucking burgers. So with a new insurance policy comes a new wind mitigation inspection, which means some dude crawling around in your roof looking to make sure the builder used 8D nails and not 6D nails, to see how many roof straps holy the roof trusses on, check out all of your hurricane shutters, that sort of shit. In short, to renew my homeowners went from $1,900 with Liberty Mutual to $2,600 through Ed's Brand Quality Insurance. So let me assure you kids, growing up is not what it's cracked up to be. The worst fucking part? I didn't have any cash on hand to flip the kid who spend 30 minutes sweating his ass off up in my roof, so I asked him if he shoots. He does. What caliber? I shoot .40 Smith & Wesson. Who the fuck shoots that? How about 9mm? Nope, I shoot .40 Smith & Wesson. How about .22? Yeah, I've got a .22 rifle I plink with. So instead of $10-$15 in cash, I'm forced to flip the kid a brick of 500 22's, which currently retail for than the mortgage on my house. This is BULLSHIT.

Wow, it was January of 2012 when I highlighted these two girls reading lawrence Block's novel, Getting Off: A Novel of Sex & Violence. Now here we are over two and a half years later, and the guy is still being enjoyed by readers. Good for him, that's staying power.

Oh, I'm sorry, was yesterday's multi-million dollar house hanging off a cliff too much for you? How about we downsize to this 188-square-foot beauty for only $450,000 insead?

Who what the fuck are these red things hanging on chains? I'm guessing this is a European thing?

Hey Ernie, The photo of the chick in the pink top sans her panties was taken at the Signature at the MGM Grand. It should be the second building or middle building of the three. You can clearly see the pool on the left side at the Marriott Grand Chateau and the northern most tower doesn't allow you visibility to the pool. On the right of the pic, the blue lights are the valet entrance to the Hilton Grand Vacations. Keep up the great work… Growler

Ernie, I took a line from the "N" at the Cosmopolitan, and lined it up with the south-west corner of the Carriage House Hotel which brought me to The Signature at MGM Grand, Tower A. Here's some pics. But I wasn't happy with finding the hotel, I used a reference point on the street with the side of the Carriage House and I think it was one of the center balconies 4th or 5th from the top. Tim

Hey I might be looking for a new air conditioner for my bedroom, can anyone tell me who makes this model? Here's a close up of what I believe to be the manufacturer.... INTER-something?

Blockbuster Video Entertainment was an American-based provider of home movie and video game rental services, originally through video rental shops, later adding DVD-by-mail, streaming, video on demand and cinema theater. At its peak in 2004, Blockbuster had up to 60,000 employees and more than 9,000 stores. Due to competition from companies such as Netflix and Redbox, Blockbuster lost significant revenue and filed for bankruptcy on September 23, 2010. In November 2013, it was announced that the remaining 300 company-owned stores would close, though 50 franchise-owned stores could continue to remain open. The company's DVD-by-mail rental ceased operations as well. SIDE NOTE: I can identify three nearby movies: The Frisco Kid, Happy Gilmore, and Jackass Number Too, all on the left side.

Hi Ernie, I wonder if you or your readers could help? I recently became the proud owner of a Hopkins & Allen .22 double action revolver after my 93 yo father passed away in May. Nobody knew he had this, it was found tucked away in his chest of drawers. It apparently belonged to his grandfather and appears as though it may be a family heirloom, although the trigger mechanism is out of order, a good thing in Australia. I've attached a photo and it's an XL double action 7 shot, serial number I think is 2481, I'm not really interested in it's value, only in it's age and what it may have been used for, thanks, Gordon

Given all the bankruptcies and acquisitions of the company since 1916, it is highly improbable that serial number records have been maintained. I tried browsing through some of the usual gun auction sites, because sometimes people looking to sell a gun will include the serial number and date of manufacture [1 - 2 - 3] and this would at least allow you to bracket some kind of a window. This collector resource says you can get anywhere between between $200 and $400 for them, but I suspect that's in good working order. The NRA Museum has a pretty good write up on Hopkins & Allen, too. As far as what it was used for, given the small caliber I would guess varmint and pest control, and dispatching the occasional wounded warm animal.

The Kingsford Charcoal Company was formed by Henry Ford and E.G. Kingsford during the early 1920s. Ford had a large plant in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan; and was always looking for new ways to combine resources. One day as the Model T cars were coming off the assembly line, Ford noticed many wood scraps being discarded. He proposed that all wood scraps were to be sent to his chemical building to be made into charcoal. The Kingsford Company was formed when E.G. Kingsford, a relative of Ford's, brokered the site selection for Ford's new charcoal manufacturing plant. In its current form, Kingsford Charcoal is made from charred softwoods such as pine and spruce, then mixed with ground coal and other ingredients to make a charcoal briquette.

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