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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
September 1, 2014

What's That Old Saying? If It's Stupid And it Works, It Ain't Stupid?

What's on the shoppinglist for today? Some generic freezer bags, eggs and Frosted Flakes. Why do you ask?

When tattoos are done in a fancy script, I can usually make out enough to understand what it reads. Or if it's done in a foreign language and I can read the letters, I can plug that into Google Translate and get it that way. But when it's fancy script and in a foreign language? I'm fucked, I can't read it. So here's a close up. What's it read?

Well, as you've probably heard, the Season 18 premiere of South Park was pretty much one long indictment of that Washington NFL team with the offensive nickname. Advertised on Fox during the Washington-Philadelphia game the Sunday before, the episode took full advantage of the fact that the U.S Patent Office had revoked the team's trademarks, causing quite a stir. However, it was hardly the first time the show has sunk its satirical teeth into the world of professional sports, or even the NFL. So here are the 25 most memorable South Park parodies of all time.

A built in oven offers exceptional convenience and style to your kitchen. One of the many benefits of a built in oven, is the seamless integration they offer. Also referred to as wall ovens, a built in oven will rest directly in your cabinetry, becoming part of your kitchen's completed design. A built in oven is also great for saving floor space, and offers exceptional convenience and style.

Medical simulation mannequins, models or related artefacts such as SimMan or Harvey are widely used in medical education. These are sometimes also referred to as virtual patients. In first aid courses mannequins may be used to demonstrate methods of giving first aid. Fire and coastguard services use mannequins to practice life-saving procedures. The mannequins have similar weight distribution to a human. Female versions, with anatomically correct pelvis with full term newborn and placenta, give your trainees realistic practice in multiple techniques, and to learn the procedure for emergency childbirth. Special obese mannequins and horse mannequins have also been made for similar purposes.

Dying on a deathbed, the perfect way for any villain to die! It makes redemption so much easier, as you can confess any crime you've committed in your life. And from a Christian point of view, that makes you basically innocent, with your bags packed and ready to go to Heaven. But our favorite ones have to be those that finally admit that they've actually seen aliens when they were younger. Dead husbands in freezers, stolen violins... these people are the ultimate trolls.

In this drag race, a 1955 Chevy Bel Air is up against a 1970 ('71?) Chevy Camaro. Who wins? Hint: not the Bel Air, although whoever does his body work will have a busy weekend.

Let me ask you fair reader, who manufactures this wire storage rack in the white and green box on the left?

September 30, 2014

I Suspect He's Missing The Irony On This One.

LTU Lufttransport-Unternehmen was an airline with its head office in Halle 8 at Düsseldorf International Airport in Düsseldorf, Germany. The initials stand for the German phrase LuftTransport-Unternehmen ("air transport enterprise"). The airline operated scheduled services on medium and long-haul routes, as well as charter services. Its main bases were Düsseldorf International Airport and Munich International Airport. In March 2007, Air Berlin took over LTU International, creating the fourth largest airline group in Europe in terms of traffic. Air Berlin announced in 2008 that the trademark LTU would no longer be used. All flights are now branded Air Berlin.

Calling all San Antonians! Calling all San Antonians! You're probably the only people who can help me figure out which of these six Panera Breads was the location of this lunch date. But if you can nail that one down, here's a bunch of shit I'm sure you didn't know. For example, did you know the word slut was originally used to describe a woman who didn't keep her room clean? Now, it means she can't keep her vagina clean.

Lunch atop a Skyscraper is a famous black-and-white photograph taken during construction of the RCA Building (renamed the GE Building in 1988) at Rockefeller Center in New York City, United States. The photograph depicts eleven men eating lunch, seated on a girder with their feet dangling 840 feet above the New York City streets. The men have no safety harness, which was linked to the Great Depression, when people were willing to take any job regardless of safety issues. The photo was taken on September 20, 1932 on the 69th floor of the RCA Building during the last months of construction. Formerly attributed to "unknown", it has been credited to Charles C. Ebbets since 2003, although the Corbis corporation is now officially returning its status to "unknown."

Things you didn't know when you woke up this morning: While Jennifer Garner is a good saxophone player. Ed O'Neill has a black belt in Gracie Jiu-Jitsu. Ian McKellar is a math wiz. And Tyler Lautner, much like his entire career, has an utterly useless talent, catching grapes with his mouth.

Hey Ernie, Long time since making a contribution to the pic quiz. The deer in the trash can was pretty easy since google pic search came back with a bunch of titles stating it was in Washington Heights, NYC which is in the Boro of Manhattan. A quick Google of "deer in garbage can washington heights" came back with a bunch of articles. It was a taxidermied deer that someone decided to toss out on the corner of 159 street and Amsterdam Ave. Cheers, Johnny

Calico cats are domestic cats with a spotted or parti-colored coat that is predominantly white, with patches of two other colors, often orange tabby and black. The coat pattern of calico cats does not define any breed, but occurs incidentally in cats that express a range of color patterns; accordingly the effect has no definitive historical background. Because genetic determination of some coat colors in cats is linked to the X chromosome, calico cats are nearly always female. Because of the genetics involved, calico males are rare, and generally have impaired vitality and are almost always sterile.

These WASR-10's are 7.62x39 caliber semi auto rifles from Romania. They come with a side mounted scope rail, laminated wood stock, welded muzzle nut, and one 30rd magazine (which may be polymer or steel). does not include bayonet, bayonet lug, sling, or muzzle brake included. Accepts all standard double stack mags. This firearm was assembled by Century Arms using both new US made parts and original used surplus parts. Has a chrome lined barrel. Receiver is usually marked GP / WASR 10/63. May or may not include cleaning rod.

Ever see the photo passed around of the coathook that someone likened to a drunk octopus who wants to fight you? Well there's one on this door.

There are 10 million members at Adult Friend Finder, all of which looking for fun filled action to keep warm this chilly season. Even if you don't want to hook up, sign up for free and check out tons of nude photos and profiles. With 10 million members, you may find the chick next door looking to get laid. And you ladies, don't be shy. Tons of guys are waiting for you, too. Just take the one minute to find some people in the area! So sign up for free then go to your e-mail to confirm your account and get busy!

September 29, 2014

PROTIP: If This Marine Can Salute Properly, You Probably Can Too.

Baby powder is an astringent powder used for preventing diaper rash, as a deodorant, and for other cosmetic uses. Composed of talc or corn starch, baby powder is harmful if inhaled since it may cause aspiration pneumonia or granuloma. It is also an ingredient in counterfeit pharmaceuticals and food products as a bulking agent in order to give the appearance of a larger quantity than actually present. Pediatricians generally prefer cornstarch to talc because it is unlikely to be easily inhaled. Baby powder is usually sold in a white shaker bottle and can also be used as a shampoo, cleaning agent, and freshener.

Caffeine promotes hair growth. It has even been proven to slow down hereditary hair loss. Now you can bring this unique active ingredient to your hair roots during normal hair washing – with Germany's first caffeine shampoo!

The best way to visualize differences between the states is taking a look at a map. And if you're a fan of unique maps, well these ones right here will definitely be map porn for you. So let's take each tiny little segment of our beloved US of A and color it differently according to marijuana laws, number of smokers, density of population, the most popular beer, most frequent Google search, highway signs, percentage of population over 65 and many others.

Regarding your Elvis Presley or Jimi Hendrix challenge.Not Hendrix, he's left handed. [3 minutes later] Correction: that guy is left handed in the poster, probably Hendrix, still looking. [ten 3 minutes later] I'm way too late with this. Tim.

So I ask you, what hotel is this young lady staying at? The adjascent hotel with purple neon should give you a good landmark to work from.

A retroreflector surface that reflects light back to its source with a minimum of scattering. An electromagnetic wave front is reflected back along a vector that is parallel to but opposite in direction from the wave's source. The angle of incidence at which the device or surface reflects light in this way is greater than zero, unlike a planar mirror, which does this only if the mirror is exactly perpendicular to the wave front, having a zero angle of incidence. Here you can see retroreflectors are clearly visible on a pair of running shoes, with the light from the flash being redirected back at the camera.

Speaking of sports, I say this as a die hard Red Sox fan: Derek Jeter is the greatest baseball player of our generation. Always, always comes through in the clutch. I really will miss watching him play.

Saw your hunting knife link on todays page and thought you might like The Dawsons knives page. Their "pocket knife" goes everywhere with my daughter. Feel free to drool. Bruce

Clayton Kershaw reaches behind his back to snag a sharp grounder off the bat of Tim Hudson and throws to first for the out. Clayton Kershaw has ninja powers! Greg

Pittsburgh Panthers men's basketball is the NCAA Division I intercollegiate men's basketball program of the University of Pittsburgh, often referred to as "Pitt", located in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The Pitt men's basketball team competes in the Atlantic Coast Conference and plays their home games in the Petersen Events Center. The Panthers have won two Helms Athletic Foundation National Championships, reached one Final Four, received 15 First Team All-American selections, have appeared in 25 NCAA and eight National Invitation Tournaments and through the 2012–13 season have recorded 1,517 victories against 1,073 losses since their inaugural season of 1905–06.

NOW THIS IS FUCKING COOL! The AirDog is your airborne sidekick, giving you the ability to track, follow, and fly your way to whole new heights of videography. This is epic videography for the extreme fanatic. They also have a Kickstarter capiagn that seems pretty well funded.

Good news/bad news. The good news is the United Kingdom has the lowest number of firearm deaths in Europe. Bad news: they lead in virtually every other type of violent crime. Yay for gun control!


September 27, 2014

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

our friends and enemies in the middle east: who is connected to whom?

did you know the compound where osama bin laden was shot and killed, can be found on google maps?

these people lost their limbs but not their sense of humor - every stephen king novel summarized in 140 characters or less

your weekend boob dump: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - twelve - thirteen

September 26, 2014

There Was Absolutely Nothing Honorable About The Honorable Eric Holder.

I can not overstate how fucking elated I am that Eric Holder has resigned as Attorney General. I could rehash all of my past rants about lying to Congress under oath, refusal to investigate or cooperate with the investigation of Fast and Furious, or the IRS scandal, or the wiretapping of the Associated Press phones, or stoking racial tensions both in Florida and Missouri, or Operation Choke Point, or reducing States' power to deal with illegal immigrants, or federal persecution of legalized marijuana users... but suffice to day that late yesterday morning I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. I'm sure some other fucking dickbag will likely continue Holder's policies for some time, but for now I think I'll just sit here and breathe in that sweet, sweet smell of freedom. So Long Eric Holder, don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.

Groundskeeper Willie, a recurring character on The Simpsons, is the head groundskeeper at Springfield Elementary School. Willie is almost feral in nature and is immensely proud of his native Scotland. He is easily identifiable by his flaming red hair and beard, as well as his aggressive temperament and strong Scottish accent.

Hey Ernie, I think the hotel with the babe in the picture is the Albergo del Senato just outside of the Roman Parthenon at Piazza della Rotonda 73, 00186 Rome, Italy. I think she is in one of the top floors given that the window has a balcony and the others do not. Take care Eric

Okay this is probably an easy one, but exactly where in New York is Bambi? I'm sure finding that one will be a lot easier than finding this sock, since there are no house numbers to work from. Somewhere in San Francisco, I'd guess.

Not only does Katy Perry wear ridiculous outfits, she looks fucking sexy in them. California girls really are unforgettable with daisy dukes and bikinis on top. Here are 48 of Katy's sexiest photos from around the web. You're welcome.

Ernie, Hope this finds your way. Just want to bring up another point with regards to the "Latte Salute" (I know you're always up for good discussions). If holding a cup of coffee during a salute is disrespectful (which I agree it is), then is holding a dog in your arms during a salute also disrespectful? I asked that because our last president (W Bush) did exactly that on at least 4 occasions (where he was photographed). I bring this up not to defend Obama but rather point out the hypocrisy that exists within our politics on both sides. thanks and keep up the great site, blah, blah, blah. Grayson

Eh, you're partially correct. The item you're holding (dog vs coffee) isn't in question, it's which hand is it in. A salute is always given with the right hand, so if you're carrying anything it's always carried in your left hand. When rendering a proper salute, the hand and wrist are perfectly straight -- hence the not carrying anything -- the elbow inclined slightly forward, and the upper arm should be horizontal. You'll know the angle of your hand is correct when neither the back of the hand nor the palm is clearly visible from the front. GWB has previously demonstrated that he knows how to properly salute while carrying something; that is to say, carry it in your left hand, keeping your right hand free. In the follow up photo taken right after the one you mentioned, you can see Barney pulling away against his leash. The conclusion I draw from that is the dog made some sort of fuss while being carried down the stairs and GWB instinctively grabbed him with both arms. He should have stopped saluting when he did so, but didn't and that's a definite faux pas. But to my knowledge, a cup of coffee has never struggled to break away from its owner and created a hazard by running across an active tarmac.

About fucking time: Philadephia mom Shaneen Allen has been admitted into pre-trial intervention program after the New Jersey Attorney General scrambles to save face. IT SHOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN THIS LONG.


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