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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
April 18, 2015

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

prepare to weep: digging for dinocars. how a 1974 ferrari dino ended up buried in someone's backyard

information is pulled directly from walmart's website. walmart updates ammo inventory once a day, around midnight.

your weekend boob dump: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - twelve - thirteen



April 17, 2015

It's A Shame There's No Call Box For Titsistance.

When it comes to the commissary benefit, one word can make a huge difference. That's why the Defense Commissary Agency has updated its motto to read, "Your Commissary ... It's Worth the Trip!" The agency hopes putting a new twist on its old motto will help commissaries worldwide build an even stronger connection with millions of authorized customers. The subtle change from "The Commissary" to "Your Commissary" is designed to enhance the way commissary customers feel about the value of their benefit with a clear message that confirms their ownership in it.

Jason Statham was born in Shirebrook, Derbyshire, England, the son of Eileen, a dancer, and Barry Statham, a street seller and lounge singer. Statham's life in the media began when he was spotted by the agency Sports Promotions specialising in sports modelling while he was training at London's Crystal Palace National Sports Centre. Afterwards, he became a model for the clothing brand French Connection. He made small appearances in a few music videos including "Comin' On Strong" by The Shamen in 1993 -- watch for Statham just after the :30 second mark -- and "Run to the Sun" by Erasure in 1994. While working as a model for French Connection, he was introduced to fledgling British director Guy Ritchie who was developing a film project and needed to fill the role of a street-wise con artist. Statham was offered more film roles, and in 2002 he was cast as the lead role of driver Frank Martin in the action movie The Transporter -- also starring Qi Shu who in the movie, is said to weigh 50 kilos, or about 110 pounds to us 'Muricans -- in which he was responsible for his own stunts.

In pursuit of my Moose Bew glass, a lot of people pointed me to the Alaska Gift Center, but remember, I only had $10 to spend.

You were so close, its Clinique Skin Supplies for Men `M' Shave Aloe Gel. Also, you can order your glass from Ebay and see the rest of her pictures here. Rick

Hi Ernie, Regarding your wish to get a Moose Brew pint glass, but you only have $10. Step 1. Go to this auction on Ebay buy the two pint glasses for $9.99 + $7.05 shipping (Total: $17.04). Step 2. Apply for PayPal Credit & get $15 off your first purchase (Total: $17.04 - $15.00 = $2.04). Step 3. Use the remaining $7.96 from your original $10 & buy a cold six pack of beer. Step 4. Fill the glass with beer & drink, rinse, repeat. Regards, John M

Ernie, Might as well go for a twofer. First, in the movies photo, the one right underneath Pirates of the Caribbean is Bewitched. Second, that was Clinique M Shave aloe shave gel, it's just an older bottle. Eric C

So I was going to sneak out out today and surprise The Boss Lady with a new bottle of perfume. What's this one in the black bottle, it looks nice.

I'm a #4 buck man, myself, but you can score a 10 round box of Defense 00 Shotshells for $3.99 at Cabela's. Using high-quality powder, shot and hulls, these unique loads deliver excellent dependability and performance at an affordable price. At home defense ranges of 3 to 10 yards max, it was consistently under six inch spread; most between 4 and 5 inches. For discount brand, that's pretty good in my book.

Erdinger Dunkel is a rich and smooth wheat beer specialty from Erdinger Weissbräu. It owes its full-bodied flavor to the fine hops and dark malt used in its production. The dark beer specialty is brewed according to an age-old recipe. Its spicy flavor also results from the increased proportion (about 13%) of original wort. Nonetheless, at 5.3%, it doesn't contain much more alcohol than Erdinger Weissbier 'with fine yeast'. Like all Erdinger wheat beers, this dark variety also acquires its typical flavor from maturing in the bottle. Years of brewing experience coupled with state-of-the-art technology guarantee Erdinger Weissbrau Dunkel's excellent quality.

Ernie. I attended the Coverings trade show in Orlando, FL this week. Photography isn't allowed, but I had a press pass. Lots of Italians, Chinese and other nationalities at the show, but somethings must have gotten lost in translation. I explained to this foreign vendor that some in the US may find these tiles, especially installed on a floor, highly offensive. But this was my favorite floor tile of the whole show. Joe

Ernie, Signum Project is a great game. Took an hour or so. My OCD, where I visually "square things up to the world", helped a bunch. Cheers, Terry

Hey Big E, Fun game, level 31 gave me the most trouble but I finished them all, no cheating either. John I

With this image being blurry and out of focus, I'm afraid we'll never know what brand of skin cleanser this is.

Bissell is a privately owned vacuum cleaner and floor care product manufacturing corporation headquartered in Walker, Michigan. The company is the number one manufacturer of floor care products in North America in terms of sales, with 20% marketshare. Whereas other competitors saw sales decline by numerous percentage points during the economic downturn, Bissell's sales remained steady.


There are 10 million members at Adult Friend Finder, all of which looking for fun filled action to keep warm this chilly season. Even if you don't want to hook up, sign up for free and check out tons of nude photos and profiles. With 10 million members, you may find the chick next door looking to get laid. And you ladies, don't be shy. Tons of guys are waiting for you, too. Just take the one minute to find some people in the area! So sign up for free then go to your e-mail to confirm your account and get busy!

April 16, 2015

Wait, Why Would Anyone Buy LESS Than 10 Pounds?

Try as I might, I just can't get past level 18 on Signum Project. I mean sure I can cheat and look up a video, but there's no fun in that.

Originally established in Paris, in the French suburb of Bercy in 1809, Emmanuel Courvoisier started a wine and spirit company with Louis Gallois, then the mayor of Bercy. Eventually the two decided that the only way they could guarantee the very finest cognac was relocate to the region and become producers themselves. Napoleon Bonaparte visited in 1811 as documented in a historic painting by Etienne Bouhot and later was credited with saying he wanted his artillery companies to have a ration of cognac during the Napoleonic Wars. Legend has it that Napoleon I later took several barrels of Courvoisier cognac with him to St Helena, a treat much appreciated by the English officers on the ship, who named it "the Cognac of Napoleon".

I had heard whispers of this bit of hotel news before, but frankly couldn't believe it would really happen, and yet here it is: Four Seasons Bangkok is no more. Effective March 1st of this year, the Four Seasons Hotel Bangkok is no longer managed by Four Seasons Hotels and Resorts. the Hotel's new owner is operating the hotel as Anantara Siam Bangkok Hotel.

If you are a die hard fan of Game of Thrones -- no, I mean a really die hard fan -- you'll be please to know the show is expected to last another four years before its scheduled demise.

Clinique Laboratories is an American manufacturer of skincare, cosmetics, toiletries and fragrances, usually sold in high end department stores owned and operated by the Estée Lauder Corporation. At first I thought this was a bottle of their aloe shave gel, but the bottle doesn't match up.

Hi Ernie, It looks like Michael Crichton's "State of Fear" is her choice of reading material. Regards, John

Hi Ernie. The shopping bag reads "A Shopping Safari". This was tough because the store, Earthbound Trading Company, no longer uses this bag, instead opting to go with a burlap version without that slogan. Thanks, Dan

I thought you would have had lots of replies on this one. That looks like a Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 7.0. Here is a link to it. Rick

Boy, I sure would love to pick up one of these collectibale Moose Brew pint glasses, but I've only for $10. Where should I head to?

Quick, quick, like a bunny: snap up 650 rounds (13 boxes) of Magtech 9mm 124 Grain FMC for $113.57 plus shipping, after using coupon code "SN365". And if you feel yourself feeling unusually lucky today, you can enter to win a Henry Repeating Arms Silver Boy 22LR rifle. Because seriously, what's better than FREE GUNZ?!

Bubble wrap is a pliable transparent plastic material commonly used for packing fragile items. The bubbles that provide the cushioning for fragile or sensitive objects are generally available in different sizes, depending on the size of the object being packed, as well as the level of cushioning protection that is needed. In addition to the degree of protection available from the size of the air bubbles in the plastic, the plastic material itself can offer some forms of protection for the object in question. For example, when shipping sensitive electronic components, a type of bubble wrap is used that employs an anti-static plastic that dissipates static charge, thereby protecting the sensitive electronic chips from static which can damage them.


April 15, 2015

That's Right, Its's Tax Day, Fuckers.

But at least we've got this going for us.

John Michael Crichton was an American best-selling author, physician, producer, director, and screenwriter, best known for his work in the science fiction, medical fiction, and thriller genres. His books have sold over 200 million copies worldwide, and his literary works are usually based on the action genre and heavily feature technology. His novels epitomize the techno-thriller genre of literature, often exploring technology and failures of human interaction with it, especially resulting in catastrophes with biotechnology. Can you tell me which Michael Crichton novel she is currently reading?

You can istantly add motion-activated light for security and safety - indoors or out Infrared technology senses both movement and heat for fewer false activations; these wireless LED lights are compact and lightweight lets you install almost anywhere; easy-mounting slot 10 super-bright LED cast pure white light, last for 100,000 hours, sip battery power for months on 3 AA batteries.

And I'm still waiting for someone to identify which model Samsung tablet and then identify some of these movies that I can't quite make out myself.

An eye for an eye comes to mind. Cyndi

There is no fabric that can quite replicate the soft sensation of silk running through your hands, almost like water running through your fingers. Silk has been a coveted commodity for centuries, having first been created in China thousands of years ago. Silk has the benefit of providing a radiant and rich color to a tie, helping you stand out in a crowd. Silk ties can be more difficult to clean though. A bad stain or spill on your tie can mean the end of it. Because of the possibility of doing damage some quickly, most men prefer to use silk ties for formal events rather than wearing it throughout the day.

Have you ever had one of those days when you just want to stay in bed and think how much you'd want to be sick so you wouldn't have to go to school? All this while you had a school bus or your mum driving you all the way to school. Well, in these pictures right here we have some different stories than yours. That's right bitches, up hill, in the snow, both ways.

A shopping what? A SHOPPING WHAT?!?!

Hi Ernie, I might be wrong here, but I think it means "Live the Life You Love" and I am thinking it is in Italian not Spanish! Could be wrong, blurry pics. Thanks, Dan

In 2002, DC Comics Executive Editor Dan DiDio asked writer Mark Waid to reimagine Superman's origin, making the character relevant for the 21st century. After taking the assignment, Waid's goal was to present a definitive volume on Superman's origin that was familiar to longtime fans as well as casual readers who were more familiar with Superman through television and film adaptations than through comics. During the early issues of the series, it was unclear if the story was intended to be the new origin of the mainstream Superman or the beginnings of a new universe, similar to Marvel's Ultimate line. It is explained that Clark Kent respected his alien heritage and designed his Superman costume based on images of Kryptonian culture that were sent along with him in his spacecraft to Earth.

From the Just-because-It's-On-The-Internet-Doesn't-Mean-It's-True Department: The Daily Beast has asked the NRA to quit lying, as Obama not NOT anti-gun. I couldn't even fucking say that with a straight face, let alone hear it.


April 14, 2015

Just Once I'd Like To See Someone On Crutches Use These.

The Roku Streaming Player is a series of set-top boxes manufactured by Roku, Inc. Roku partners provide over-the-top content in the form of channels. A Roku streaming device gets data (the video stream) via a wired or Wi-Fi connection to an Internet router. The data is output via an audio cable, video cable or both signals over an HDMI cable. The device can be connected to any television set with appropriate input connections. In 2011 Roku updated its product lineup with three new boxes, each in the same price range as before. However, the Ethernet connection and remote with motion control for games are available only on the XS model. The Netflix application was revamped for the Roku 2 HD, Roku 2 XD and Roku 2 X, and now provide the option of subtitles, when the program provides them.

Made in 2009 by Vin Diesel, this 18-minute video ties all the movies together, and is essential viewing for fans. It shows Dom and Letty rekindling their romance prior to getting married, as well as showing how Dom knows Han.

Well, boating season is upon us, so before you people start posting your bost selfies on Facebook, take a minute to think about boating safety. Because water sports and boating are fun and enjoyable, people often don't think about the risks involved, and as a result, don't follow basic and necessary safety measures. If you should decide to go in to the water; then be sure to wear flip flops, so that shells or whatever will not cut your feet. Plus, be very careful where that you walk, and watch out for sink holes. You should always carry lots of drinking water and food with you while boating. Let someone know where you plan to go and your expected time of return.

Okay technophiles, which model Samsung tablet is this? The placement of the camera should point you in the right direction.

Finished the Maze Evolution game. I think I need a bigger mouse pad. Don't expect fireworks or a top score comparison; the game just stops when you hit the last finish box. (pic attached) Dan

Hey Ernie, good one on the bathroom bottle pic, We think its this product. Ray and Peanut

If'n ya want to do some shopping at a particular store -- say because you have a coupon that's about to expire, Cabela's and Brownell's are known for mailing those out -- don't forget you can browse by store to narrow down your search.

Okay, which one of you guys can read Spanish? Perhaps I'm just being a lazy son of a bitch, but I can't quite make it out.

The Inca Trail to Machu Picchu consists of three overlapping trails: Mollepata, Classic, and One Day. Mollepata is the longest of the three routes with the highest mountain pass and intersects with the Classic route before crossing Warmiwañusqa ("dead woman"). Located in the Andes mountain range, the trail passes through several types of Andean environments including cloud forest and alpine tundra. Settlements, tunnels, and many Incan ruins are located along the trail before ending the terminus at the Sun Gate on Machu Picchu mountain. The two longer routes require an ascent to beyond 13,800 ft above sea level, which can result in altitude sickness.


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