...sigh... does *anyone* read the fucking disclaimer anymore?
You know Lou, when I asked you what the references were because I expected you to point out either (A) link to another site (say for example http://www.babysue.com/jesushates.html), or (B) maybe there was this big gay bashing story somewhere on EHOWA that I didn't know about. Instead you come up with five measley pictures that were posted over a span of two years? And this means I frequently refer to homsexuals as "fags"?
For starters, you're gay? Well zippidy-fucking-doo-dah, Lou. So what? I'm straight. Who gives a fuck? Not you I hope because I don't give a rat's ass who you bang just so long as it ain't me or my new dog.
Like you said, where you stick your dick is your thing -- so why even bring it up to begin with? Don't use your sexuality as a crutch. Think you're not? Why the hell did you practically introduce yourself as "Big Gay Lou" in your first sentence? Are you so pompous and ignorant as to think that a heterosexual person was incapable of making the same argument? That because you are a gay person offended by something that I posted suddenly it's my obligation to sit up on my haunches and take some kind of special notice? Christ, you made it sound like I have swatstikas and "I hate gays" smeared on every other fucking page, when in reality you're focusing on such a small subset of the material up there it's fucking mind boggling. But before I dismiss you with a swat from the back of my hand (yes, strong enough for a man, but made for a woman...) let's take a look at a few things.
For starters, hmmm... are you even on my mailing list? Nope. Did you donate any money to bring soldiers home for the holidays? Nope. Did you maybe offer a kind word or condolences when my mother passed away? Nope. How about maybe even a passing "Happy Birthday Asshole"? Nope. You're 0 for 4, there Big Lou. So from this I can safely conclude two different things. Well, okay, three.
One, unless you see an issue that adversely impacts (hee hee) you directly, you don't give a flying fuck about it. You try to come across as this guy concerned for the good of all mankind holding hands and singing "We Are The World", when in reality you wouldn't take the fucking time to piss on the guy next to you if he were on fire. Where were you, Captains Morals, when I posted the pictures making fun of everyone else? The Jews. The Palestinians. The homeless. The amputees. The Canadians. The nerds. The retarded. Britney. Anna. Clinton. Dead animals in the road. Hell Lou, I've got ten pictures of fucking squirrels up there... yet I've still to receive one piece of hate mail from the Squirrels Anti-Defamation League. Why do you think that is?
Two, you're an inexperienced visitor to EHOWA, saw a few things that made you stamp your pink booties in anger. You just did a text search for a few key words you didn't like such as "queer", "fag" and "lesbo", then stormed off on some crusade to rid the internet of another one of those damned homophobic hatemongers. "Contributing to the bigotry, homophobia and hatred in the world" was what you said, wasn't it? For starters, if the average run of the mill web surfer is so monumentally void of all rational and individual thought where something such as "Ernie's House of Whoop Ass" could fucking serve as their moral barometer, then we the inhabitants of planet Earth are a lot more fucked than we fool ourselves into believing.
But I'm going to indulge you and we'll speak in hypotheticals for a second. At the writing of this email, there are 2,120 files in the pictures section of EHOWA. Let's say that we take the same amount of people and force them all to live in some little isolated bubble world. We'll call it "Big Gay Lou's Gayville" for now. And let's say that we take them all one at a time into a room and show them one of those pictures before turning them back loose into our mock society. And let's say that person is forever brainwashed by whatever one picture it was they were shown. That's to say if they saw a picture of an animal they become animal abusers. If they saw a picture of a woman, they become wife beaters, a picture of a gay they become gay bashers, etc, etc. You follow me so far, right Lou?
So of those 2,120 people, only 5 of them would be horribly scarred into being these beastly homophobic gay bashers that you fear. Five people. That's less 0.235% -- less than a quarter of one percent. Christ you'd have more people trying to hump squirrels than you'd have chasing gays. There would be 1 homophobe for every 424 people in society. You know what they'd call that if the same thing if it held true here in the real world? A fucking miracle. The sad truth is we're a lot fucking worse off out here then they'd be in our fictional Lou's Gayville.
And finally, three, I figure by now you're realizing what a mistake you've made and just what (flaming?) asshole you've made of yourself harping on the little things when there's so many bigger problems to be addressed.
People taking their morals cues from me? You should be so fucking lucky.
Ernie "Please Don't Touch My Bum" Corleone
P.S. Next time you run a fucking web query searching for things to bitch about, remember alternative livestyles call for alternative spelling. You missed "patrioticlezbos.jpg" posted on 10/21/2001. But I'm pretty sure you'll agree on the naming of that one.