You know folks, at first I doubted the validity of this e-mail too, but then I traced it's IP address (18.104.22.168) back to origin and sure enough... Saudi Arabia.
Kal. I'm assumin that's your name of course, because you must understand that conversing with Saudi nationals isn't a routine thing for me. Just like I understand that you probably didn't understand a fucking thing I just said since you spoke in broken English. Which is perfectly reasonable of course, and since I am a reasonable man, I will now flame you in broken English so that you can enjoy the true nature of my beast.
Asshole you fuck! My country big stong have lots of planes shoot you good! You live land only sand! Sand suck! My cat shit in sand! You live where my cat turds big make every day! Look like tootsie rolls and you put on head! Cat shit head! Toostie head!
You wear towel on your head! I dry my ass with towel and then put on your head! you asshead! My ass head! I have smelly ass so now you head smelly! I fart on your head towel man! Why you wear towel? Are you pull start?
Hey buddy, you got match?
I got match, my stinky ass your head!
Not for my country you country owned by that man with fuzzy lip and fag hat! He gonna shoot you and fuck your stinky wife in her asshole! But no, we stop! You know why? I drive big truck! Need gas! Need lots of gas slurp slurp! So we shoot him in face with bazooka! You safe now but you still asshole!
Aw fuck you! me go eat pig now! Bacon sandwich! Breakfast sausages! Lots of grease me have bad tubes to heart! I die soon but as I die I fall on button blow you up boom! And that skinny fuck with limp you have in Afghanistan! he die too! And you stinky wife with used asshole!
We have big bomb cook you good! It burn hot and you burn with heat of thousand suns burn you right in your asshole boom boom!
Well Kal, I hope you enjoyed that experience. Actually talking to you was quite like talking to a ghetto style Yoda. You don't know who that is, but that's okay. I do and that's what is important, since I an significant and you are not.
Be gone Sand Man! Or me go boom boom in you asshole!