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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
August 22, 2014

I'm Torn: Do I Make A Gun Safety Comment, or Black Box Joke?

The dusky dolphin is small to medium in length compared with other species in the family, and there is significant variation in size among the different population areas. The back of the dolphin is dark grey or black, and the dorsal fin is distinctively two-toned; the leading edge matches the back in color, but the trailing edge is a much lighter greyish white. The dusky dolphins has a long, light-grey patch on its side leading to a short, dark-grey beak. The throat and belly are white, and the beak and lower jaw are dark grey. Two blazes of white color run back on the body from the dorsal fin to the tail.

Deep thoughts with Jack Handy: "Go to bed, you'll feel better in the morning," is the human version of, "Did you turn it off and back on again?"

Some canned beers are pressurized by adding liquid nitrogen, which vaporises and expands in volume after the can is sealed, forcing gas and beer into the widget's hollow interior through a tiny hole—the less beer the better for subsequent head quality. In addition, some nitrogen dissolves in the beer which also contains dissolved carbon dioxide. It is important that oxygen be eliminated from any process developed as this can cause flavour deterioration when present. A widget is a device placed in a container of beer to manage the characteristics of the beer's head. The original widget was patented in Ireland by Guinness. The floating widget is found in cans of beer as a hollow plastic sphere, 3 cm in diameter with a small hole in one side. The rocket widget is found in bottles, 7 cm in length with the small hole at the bottom.

GODAMMIT. Though it looks and feels that (despite Eva Green's erect nipple) the Sin City sequel, "A Dame to Kill For" isn't as memorable as the 2005 original. I'll be finding out for myself around 2:20pm today, because I suspect it won't be worth the 3D version.

Old and busted: focusing a GoPro camera on your cleavage and going for a jog. The new hotness: focusing a GoPro camera on your cleavage and hitting the gym for a workout.

Hi Ernie, That is still the Minskoff theater, just the side of it on Broadway. The main entrance is around the corner on West 45th street. Mark

White writing on a blue background? Hmmm, what craft store is this? I initially thought it could be the craft section at a Walmart, but usually Walmart makes better use of their floor space.

And of course would good would that be without a tactical wall to hide your shit in?

Marlboro cigarettes initially built its image as a feminine, apparently “safer” due to the filter, light cigarette. In late 1950s, Philip Morris tried to change this image and target more financially attractive group – young males. Marlboro gained fresh, innovative hard cardboard flip-top opened box designed by Frank Gianninoto, who created also famous Campbell's soup can. The new packaging had many advantages. Its toughness was appealing to men who wanted to protect their cigarettes from being crushed in rough conditions. The flip-top design forced smokers to look at the pack while taking a cigarette out. A clean, aggressive white with red arrow graphics design was easily recognizable on monochrome TV screen regardless of distortions.

August 21, 2014

Wait. As A Convicted Felon, Can Wesley Snipes Even Hold A Firearm?

It was almost two years ago when The Expendables 2 broke my heart and let me just say, the tradition continues in The Expendables 3; if the theme for the second movie was predictability, the theme for this one would be cliche, cliche, cliche. Well, that and product placement, product placement, product placement. See: Arnold Schwarzenegger's U-Boat watch, Sly Stallone's Ford F-150, Kelsey Grammer's Havar SUV, just to name a few.

So without giving away any plot details -- not that it would be any big fucking deal if I did -- the premise of the movie is regular group of has-beens is sent to capture some dude who turns out to be an ex-Expendable. He escapes, Barney parts ways with the old crew so as to not take them on a suicide mission, he puts together a new crew (which promptly fails) and the old crew saves the day. Who is the new crew? Well, given the very premise of the Expendables is built upon the sterling reputation of seasoned action stars, let's take a look, shall we? [QUIZ: Are They In The Expendables | don't got cocky, I scored 100%] Wesley Snipes, solid performance as always. Kelsey Grammer, who doesn't actually have an action role, more of a behind the scenes recruiter. Mel Gibson was fucking awesome and looked very at home in a Maverick-like performance.

And then... we have the eye candy, Ronda Rousey. Not a terrific showing on her part, but certainly not a poor one, especially considering this is her first role. Her character was flat, although I'm not sure if that's because of Rousey's performance, or just the really shitty dialogue that permeates the entire film. I hope that she doesn't turn out like Gina Carano -- who is like the Anna Kournakova of UFC -- in that she looks good and is mediocre at her sport, but really can't do shit otherwise. Let's hope she does better in Fast and Furious 7. Yeah that's right, a seventh movie.

Next comes Victor Ortiz, a boxer with no film experience. And do you know why boxers don't get film experience? Because they're shitty actors, that's why. And let's not forget such heavyweight newcomers as Glen Powell -- you may remember him in such blockbusters as The Dark Knight Rises where he thrilled audiences with his portrayal of "Trader #1." And finally, Kellan Lutz who does indeed have some acting experiences... IN THE FUCKING TWILIGHT FRANCHISE. So yes, those are your new, younger Expendables.

In the end it's no fucking wonder this piece of shit only has a 6.3 rating on IMDB, and only 53% of audiences liked it on Rotten Tomatoes. Some people will say it's because the movie was leaked on the internet, others will suggest franchise fatigue, while I take a more direct approach; it's just a piece of shit movie. Everyone involved is just looking to take your money and laugh all the way to the bank.

And if you think the children's book My Parents Open Carry is awesome, wait until you read the reviews.

Hey Ern, Just thought I would contribute to the Brown discussion. This letter is obviously pro-law enforcement, as I am. But it sheds light on what Brown's state of mind might have been, considering he just robbed a liquor store. Even if the officer DIDN'T know, Brown DID. Anyways, enjoy it, and we will all see how this plays out in the end. Tom

Huh. This Lion King performance doesn't match this Lion King performance. What gives?

I also managed to take my niece shooting, and I don't think she did half bad for her first time behind the trigger! We started off with a Smith and Wesson 686P with a 5" barrel, although for the purpose of both less recoil and less cost, we were shooting .38's instead of .357's. We started off with one round in the chamber and double action, because smaller caliber or not, she's a smaller girl and I didn't want any shit like this happening. Once she got a handle on that, we progressed over to a semi-automatic Glock 19 chambered in 9mm, because it too is relatively inexpensive to plink with. And then for a few hoots, we tried out "Bitch", which is a little Colt Junior chambered in .25ACP. You'd think smaller bullets = smaller cost but they're like $0.55 per round, so we didn't shoot that much.

And sorry, I missed this yesterday: in addition to Kate Upton and the USC Song Girls, here are 20 other female sports personalities who have accepted the als ice bucket challenge. NIPPLES AHOY!

Hey Ern, Just thought I would contribute to the Brown discussion. This letter is obviously pro-law enforcement, as I am. But it sheds light on what Brown's state of mind might have been, considering he just robbed a liquor store. Even if the officer DIDN'T know, Brown DID. Anyways, enjoy it, and we will all see how this plays out in the end. Tom

You see, you may have spent the last few years looking for me, but I have spent my entire life looking for you. I've seen an agent punch through a concrete wall; men have emptied entire clips at them and hit nothing but air; yet, their strength, and their speed, are still based in a world that is built on rules. Because of that, they will never be as strong, or as fast, as you can be. You are the One, Neo.

A chain-link fence is a type of woven fence usually made from galvanized or LLDPE-coated steel wire. The wires run vertically and are bent into a zig-zag pattern so that each "zig" hooks with the wire immediately on one side and each "zag" with the wire immediately on the other. This forms the characteristic diamond pattern seen in this type of fence. Cable reinforced chain link fence is available for applications that require protection from low threat vehicular assaults such as federal agencies. Minimum security applications such as schools and other public accommodations also benefit from the features of security grade chain link.

Well, at least the Canadians are having none of this militarized police bullshit.

There are 10 million members at Adult Friend Finder, all of which looking for fun filled action to keep warm this chilly season. Even if you don't want to hook up, sign up for free and check out tons of nude photos and profiles. With 10 million members, you may find the chick next door looking to get laid. And you ladies, don't be shy. Tons of guys are waiting for you, too. Just take the one minute to find some people in the area! So sign up for free then go to your e-mail to confirm your account and get busy!

August 20, 2014

Some People Will Piss And Moan If They're Hung With A New Rope.

I have never heard so many people bitching and moaning about a charity drive in my entiree life, as I have with this ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. With the exception of those poor fuckers trapped in California, everyone needs to shut the fuck up. This is a novelty idea that's designed not only to raise money for ALS, but also to raise its awareness.

Yes, people are indeed wasting a little water. But if that's the worst fucking to happen to you today, count your fucking blessings because the alternative is you could be this poor son of a bitch. And what's the real solution here? Easy, stop cutting their funding.

As far as the challenges go, some are good -- I would have really liked to see Kata Mara 5 seconds after her video cut out -- while some are bad. Some people have a difficult time understanding the physics of a huge bucket of wate, especially when they're wearing a loose bikini top.

Some of my favorite challenges so far: Chris Pratt aka Burt Macklin aka Starlord, uber hottie Kate Upton and her boyfriend (fuck you!) Justin Verlander, former President George W Bush, a bikini clad Katy Perry, winning warlock Charlie Sheen and Nike CEO Mark Parker.

In an age when so many coaches and parents have forgotten that youth sports is about instilling values, this is one hell of a refreshing speech, made by Rhode Island coach Dave Belisle after his kids were eliminated by Chicago yesterday. Anyway, rather than go the $10-Accept-Challenge or $100-Reject-Challenge route, I just donated $50 and called it a day.

Henry Louis Gehrig was an American baseball first baseman who played 17 seasons in Major League Baseball for the New York Yankees (1923–1939). Gehrig was renowned for his prowess as a hitter and for his durability, a trait which earned him his nickname "The Iron Horse". He finished with a career batting average of .340, an on-base percentage of .447, and a slugging percentage of .632, and he tallied 493 home runs and 1,995 runs batted in. A seven-time All-Star and six-time World Series champion, Gehrig won the Triple Crown in 1934 and was twice named the American League's Most Valuable Player. Gehrig was the first MLB player to have his uniform number retired, and he was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1939. On June 21, the New York Yankees announced Gehrig's retirement. The doctors of the Mayo Clinic had released his ALS diagnosis to the public on June 19. Yankees Manager Joe McCarthy, struggling to control his emotions, then spoke of Lou Gehrig, with whom he had a close, almost father-and-son–like bond. After describing Gehrig as "the finest example of a ballplayer, sportsman, and citizen that baseball has ever known", McCarthy could stand it no longer. Turning tearfully to Gehrig, the manager said, "Lou, what else can I say except that it was a sad day in the life of everybody who knew you when you came into my hotel room that day in Detroit and told me you were quitting as a ballplayer because you felt yourself a hindrance to the team. My God, man, you were never that." Gehrig's complete speech was not filmed; only a small snippet of the newsreel footage has survived, incorporating his opening and closing remarks: "For the past two weeks you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth. When you look around, wouldn't you consider it a privilege to associate yourself with such fine looking men as are standing in uniform in this ballpark today? That I may have been given a bad break, but I have an awful lot to live for. Thank you."

So my free shit from Sig Sauer came in yesterday afternoon -- so in the end I'll have picked up a Sig P220 with night sights, four 15 round magazines, paddle holster and pistol bag for a paltry $389. If you're jelly you can still pick up almost the same deal through CDNN Sports Weekend Super Sale, although it's gone up to $399 now, and Sig's rebate offer for the two extra mags has expired, but it's still an excellent pistol.

Here are 25 24 mind-blowing things you didn't know before today. I can assure you that #3 is complete and total bullshit.

The 5-Inch/54-caliber (Mk 45) lightweight gun is a modern U.S. naval artillery gun mount consisting of a 5-inch L54 Mark 19 gun on the Mark 45 mount. Originally designed and built by United Defense, it is now manufactured by BAE Systems Land & Armaments after the former was acquired. The latest 5-inch/62-caliber version consist of a longer barrel L62 Mark 36 gun fitted on the same Mark 45 mount. The gun is designed for use against surface warships, anti-aircraft and shore bombardment to support amphibious operations. The gun mount features an automatic loader with a capacity of 20 rounds. These can be fired under full automatic control, taking a little over a minute to exhaust those rounds at maximum fire rate.

August 19, 2014

Michael Brown, The Ferguson Police, Al Sharpton, et al.

A lot of people are suggesting Michael Brown was killed because he robbed a store, "he didn't deserve to die over some stolen cigars." I completely agree. But robbery was not why the fatal confrontation occured. Brown was killed because -- or at least the police claim -- he assaulted an officer in a police cruiser, attempted to steal the officer's firearm before fleeing, and then turned and charging the officer. A jaywalking incident can have fatal consequences if the jaywalker assaults the officer and tries to steal his firearm. Now as for who is telling the truth in this Michael brown shooting is of course a matter of hot debate, and one that will not be put to rest anytime soon. Both sides admit the officer attempted to exit the cruiser and [for disputed reasons] was unable to do so. The victim's friend says they were just walking down the street, when the officer pulled up, opened his car door so quickly, it bounced off of these two innocent souls. The officer on the other hand, claims he attempted to open the door and was forcibly shoved back inside, a physical struggle ensued and Brown attempted to grab his gun. As to who is telling the truth, I'd simply like to know if there's a bullet hole inside the cruiser. Because to me, that'd be pretty definitive. But we're not going to settle this hash anytime soon, so there's no sense in getting our panties in a wad -- or setting fire to any convenience stores -- until the truth comes out. And so in the meantime...

THUMBS DOWN to anyone bitching and moaning because Brown had marijuana in his system. It's the year 2014 and by everyone should enjoy a zippity-fucking-do-dah attitude about weed. Brown tests positive for cocaine or meth? Fine, you'll have my attention. But weed? Pffft, who cares.

THUMBS DOWN to Michael Baden, a hired shill from New York who offered, “In my capacity as the forensic examiner for the New York State Police, I would say, 'You're not supposed to shoot so many times.'” So asshole, just what is the proper amount of times to shoot someone who is charging at you? Is it 16 times with 9 injured bystanders? Or perhaps 50 times is the correct number? You fire until there's no more threat. That's the magic number. Period.

THUMBS DOWN to the St. Charles County Regional SWAT Team for firing tear gas and bean bags at journalists. Now later on the St. Charles County spokesperson would claim the officers were kindly helping the news crew to change locations and even thanked the officers afterwards. Yeah, I call fucking bullshit. Because when the actions you take cede the high moral ground to the fucking Pelestinians, you're doing something wrong.

THUMBS DOWN to Trayvon Martin's parasitic parents, who once again forced her way into the spotlight to offer, "gun violence is the second leading cause of death for children ages 1-19. That is a horrible fact." uh, actually, no, no it's not all. Unless of course by "second leading cause" you mean "fourth leading cause" behind perinatal conditions, congenital anomalies, and motor vehicles.

THUMBS DOWN to this stupid fucking CNN news anchor for suggesting police use water cannons on protesters instead of tear gas. Hmmmm, let me think of why that's a bad idea. Hmmmmmm.

THUMBS DOWN to Michael Brown's grandfather who demanded to meet with President Obama because -- hey after all -- he voted for him. On that regard fuck you to any parents who gets treated with kid gloves and gets to testify before our elected leaders, while others are ignored because they're not deemed newsworthy. On that note a hearty FUCK YOU to our Divider in Chief who was -- and I'm not shitting you -- at the Vineyard Golf Club during Major General Harold Greene's funeral.

THUMBS DOWN to any asshole calling for the officer involved to immediately be fired and charged with murder. You are all hypocritical cocksuckers.

THUMBS DOWN to anyone outraged by this photo of an American citizen pointing his weapon at the government, but not equally outraged by these photos of the government pointing their weapons at American citizens. You are also hypocritical cocksuckers.

AND FINALLY, THUMBS DOWN to Big Snitch Al Sharpton and his bullshit "We are liberators, not looters" speech. Do you want to know where to stand on any moral issue? Easy, find where Sharpton stands and then take the exact opposite view. I guarantee you'll always be on the right side of history. He shoudld have been booed off stage right along with Jesse Jackson.

Hi Ernie, The simple explanation for stainless steel types is this. All steel is alloyed to make it "stainless" by adding non corrosive alloys such as nickel and molybdenum, to keep it from rusting. Many manufactures of steels create proprietary alloys for making knife steel. How they get proprietary formulas is by tweaking the alloys to get different tinsel strengths in both a lateral and longitudinal directions and by heat treating the steel to make it hard to hold an edge. S30V is said to be proprietary and only can be used by Kershaw. The main differences of 14C28N and S30V are as follows: 14C28N is "less hard" It has a lateral hardness of 5 to 6 pounds so It will sharpen very easily to a razor edge but will lose its edge quickly requiring it to be resharpened. Pro: since it is softer than S30V it will be less prone to chipping and tip breakage during rough use. Con: It will require frequent sharpening and is recommended to "strop" the blade after each period of use. S30V Is Hard. It has a Lateral hardness of 10 to 10.5 pounds. It will be more difficult to sharpen but will hold its edge for a much longer period of time. Pro: It holds its edge. Con: because it is hard, the edge will chip like glass under rough use. I know this is more 6th grade than kindergarten but this is as simple of an explanation that I can provide. After saying this, all knife steel freaks have their own opinion about what is the better steel. Ideal hardness for a perfect edge etc.. etc.. All of this information above is hotly contested in that arena. My preference is the 14C28N. It gets razor sharp and with regular stropping stays razor sharp and is less likely to chip or break when I use it. Cheers friend, Randy

THUMBS UP to to anyone finally coming the realization that there are benefits to being an armed member of society. As I've said before, being that I live on the Gulf coast of FLorida, my biggest fear is the immediate aftermath of a large hurricane. Those of you who live on the west coast have to deal with wild fires and earthquakes. In the midwest you have tornadoes. Any number of which could cause a temporary breakdown of society and with it the relative safety that we all take for granted. But Ferguson showed us that riots can happen anywhere, anytime, for any reason. So I'm not saying everyone has to turn into Charleton Fucking Heston -- or Bruce Stern -- but I think you owe it to yourself to know how to defend yourself and your family in a crisis. [MORE GUNS - MORE AMMO]

THUMBS UP to Georgia Rep. Hank Johnson for introducing a bill to halt transfer of military-grade equipment from the Department of Defense to local law enforcement agencies, including automatic weapons, armored vehicles, armored drones, silencers and flash-bang or stun grenades. Although I suspect it will be an uphill battle all the way.

And just for something in the lighter side, Atlanta Braves fans were treated to some Free Male Nudity at Turner Field last night. And yes, pictures and video.

August 18, 2014

So Cape Coral Has Recently Welcomed Its Second Starbucks.

ATTENTION BOATERS: What is this orange thing?

So I went and saw Guardians of the Galaxy last weekend, and I enjoyed it so much, I actually went back to see it a second time on Thursday. I genuinely like Chris Pratt, and hope he makes it big, especially when you consider given his meager upbringing. Zoe Saldana, always hot, always fun to look at. But it looks like someone got there first. But what really caught me off guard? Who played the villains! I mean it's fucking Brand! Didn't they tie him up with his own piece of exercise equipment? Also spoiler: the surprise after the credits? Get ready for Howard The Duck.

Ultraviolet radiation is invisible to the human eye, but illuminating certain materials with UV radiation causes the emission of visible light, causing these substances to glow with various colors. This is called fluorescence, and has many practical uses. Black lights are required to observe fluorescence, since other types of ultraviolet lamps emit visible light which drowns out the dim fluorescent glow. Some security applications include the use of pens containing a fluorescent ink, generally with a soft tip, that can be used to "invisibly" mark items. At some theme parks, nightclubs and at other, day-long (or night-long) events, a fluorescent mark is rubber stamped onto the wrist of a guest who can then exercise the option of leaving and being able to return again without paying another admission fee.

Your day begins with a wake-up call from your Google Android phone. As you run to the shower, you hit Google News and check headlines, then Gmail. Your first appointment of the day has been moved to a new location; Google Maps will direct you there. But you're not even out the door yet. How convenient. Here are 12 facts you may want to learn in order to not upset the our new digital overlords.

hey ernie, check out craigs list rants in the ferguson Mo. area. they are fuckin hilarious. steve

ernie. here's where you can see how much fun stuff your County's got from Uncle Sam. Tommy

{Lee County Florida: 150 assault rifles, 20 pairs of night vision goggles, 1 FUCKING MRAP]

ATTENTION BARTENDERS: What is this blue thing?

So guess what's going to show up in my mailbox today? That's right, my red kershaw Blur. Although I did note in the comments section, someone raised the point about two different types of steel being used: S30V steel versus 14C28N steel? Does anyone out there know the difference, and more importantly, can you explain it to me like I'm a fucking five year old? Here are some other great deals on knives, if the red Kershaw ain't yo thang.

Verrucous carcinoma of the skin and mucosa is an uncommon type of well-differentiated squamous cell carcinoma. When it is present in the genitoanal region the term used is Buschke-Lowenstein tumor. First described by Buschke and Löwenstein in 1925, the giant condyloma of Buschke and Löwenstein is a slow-growing, locally destructive verrucous plaque that typically appears on the penis but may occur elsewhere in the anogenital region. It most commonly is considered to be a regional variant of verrucous carcinoma, together with oral florid papillomatosis and epithelioma cuniculatum.


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