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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
October 5, 2015

And of Course, They're Raider Fans.

The Germany national football team is the men's football team that has represented Germany in international competition since 1908. It is governed by the German Football Association, founded in 1900. Ever since the DFB was reinaugurated in 1949 the team has represented the Federal Republic of Germany. Under Allied occupation and division, two other separate national teams were also recognised by FIFA: the Saarland team representing the Saarland (1950–1956) and the East German team representing the German Democratic Republic (1952–1990). Both have been absorbed along with their records by the current national team. The official name and code "Germany FR (FRG)" was shortened to "Germany (GER)" following the reunification in 1990. Since then, the German national football team has been one of the most successful football teams, winning four World Cups and three European Championships.

Old and busted: brewing your own beer. The new hotness: distilling your own moonshine.

And because shit, I forgot on Friday: "The richest one percent of this country owns half our country's wealth, five trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons and what I do, stock and real estate speculation. It's bullshit. You got ninety percent of the American public out there with little or no net worth. I create nothing. I own. We make the rules, pal. The news, war, peace, famine, upheaval, the price per paper clip. We pick that rabbit out of the hat while everybody sits out there wondering how the hell we did it. Now you're not naive enough to think we're living in a democracy, are you buddy? It's the free market. And you're a part of it. You've got that killer instinct. Stick around pal, I've still got a lot to teach you."

Your first photo challenge is to find this fire hydrant on Streetview.

Hi Ernie, Sorry to blow up your email. I found this clip and although a little hokie it does make a lot of sense. The media spin on guns is crazy. Randy

All seeing and all knowing Ernie: A friend, Alan Korwin who has written 10 different books on guns has this on his web site. Interesting news. Something else interesting is statistically speaking, 16 black men are shot and killed every day in ghettos around the United States - Where is the person who currently occupies the White House opinions on that? Bob

Your second photo challenge is to find where some asshole double parked his Camaro.

You will find some idiots out there claiming the Oregon campus was not in fact a gun-free zone, because back in 2011 the state barred colleges from prohibiting guns on campus. Ever willing to take advantage of a loophole, colleges complied, but notice the law never said anything about banning firearms in the BUILDINGS.... there in lies the loophole on how firearms are -- for all intents and purposes -- banned from Oregon colleges. So yes, a fucking gun free zone.

Hi Ernie, Got a blog post here with before and after dental work celebrity smiles. Any chance you could feature it on Ehowa? Best Regards, David

Your whiteboard was updated in 2010, Dan

Your third and final photo challenge for the day -- and the easiest of the three, I think, is to find this sign pointing to the Divadlo theatre

Hybrid Theory is the debut album by the American rock band Linkin Park, released on October 24, 2000 through Warner Bros. Records. The album was a commercial success, having been certified Diamond for sales of over 10 million units in the United States alone as of 2010, peaking at number two on the Billboard 200, and also reaching high positions on other charts worldwide. Recorded at NRG Recordings in North Hollywood, California, and produced by Don Gilmore, the album's lyrical themes deal with problems lead vocalist Chester Bennington experienced during his adolescence, including drug abuse and the constant fighting and divorce of his parents. Hybrid Theory takes its title from the previous name of the band as well as the concept of music theory and combining different styles.

October 3, 2015

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

one hour apart: a tale of two statements

why cnn sucks cock: the hypocrisy of how the media covers mass shootings

deal with it:

here are heather mccartney and the nine most infamous strippers in sports

your weekend boob dump: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - NINE - ten - eleven - twelve - thirteen

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October 2, 2015

“A Lie Can Run Round The World Before The Truth Has Got Its Boots On.” - Terry Pratchett

In the hours, days, and even weeks following Sandy Hook, the media fucked up a lot of stuff. First the shooter was in custody, then he was dead. Then he had an accomplice, then two, then none. Hiw mother was a live and his father was dead. His brother was the shooter. 20 killed, then 20 wounded, then 26 killed. In fact, I'd say the media reported more rumor than they did fiction. I'd ask that you keep this in mind over the next week or so as the details that surround the Oregon college shooting firm up and come to light.

Thirty year old Army veteran Chris Mintz is recovering from wounds sustained when he charged [the shooter]. This seems to be true. Up for grabs is how grievously he was wounded -- I've heard he was shot 7 times, then 5, now 4 times. Regardless, the guy has brass fucking balls, and he is going to survive.

[The shooter] singled out and killed Christians -- eh, usually when something sounds too fantastic to be true, it usually is. I'm not saying it's impossible, but I'm going to wait a few days to see if this rumor survives. if its true, I'm sure more than one victim will step forward and corroborate the initial report.

[The shooter] was a Muslim -- another one I'll wait and see what happens. This all stems from an old Myspace page that supposedly belonged to [the shooter]. True or false, I dunno. Much like the media misidentified Ryan Lanza as the Sandy Hook shooter, I'll wait and see if this rumor survives the test of time. I suspect its fate will go hand in hand with the aforementioned killing Christians rumor.

Umpqua Community College was/was not a gun free zone -- From everything I have found, the college WAS a gun free zone: "As of March 2015, Concealed carry was not permitted, except by written permission by college." [source] Additionally, here is a screen capture of the UCC student code of conduct pertaining to firearms.

[The shooter] told people online about his plans ahead of time -- Unfortunately, this is true. The group 4chan is kind of like the seedy underbelly of the internet. They have however, set a new bar with this. I suspect there will be HUGE changes to how /b/ works after this.

Also, since our esteemed President managed to call a press conference immediately after the tragic death of these 10 people, someone please let me know when the press conference is for the 11 people killed in the Air Force C-130 crash that occurred just a few hours later. Oh, there isn't one. Yeah, I know. The pandering asshole. Shit like this is exactly why I hope the upcoming Florida campus carry bill passes the legislature. Can you imagine how differently this would have turned out if Chris Mintz had the means to effectively defend himself? Meanwhile, just as things were returning to normal, get ready for the price of ammo to go through the fucking roof again, because of reactionary assholes who absolutely froth at the mouth at the opportunity to turn tragedy into political gain.

October 1, 2015

This Is Life To Me When I Wake Up Thinking It's Friday.

Tales from Margaritaville is a collection of short stories by singer Jimmy Buffett, published in 1989, 230 pages long. The book is broken up into an introduction and three sections, each containing several short stories. An Introduction: Changes in Latitude contains "Walkabout" and "Where is Margaritaville?", the later designed to answer a question Buffett says that he is frequently asked. The Heat Wave Chronicles contains 6 short stories, all based in the mythical town of Heat Wave, Alabama, on the also mythical island of Snake Bite Key. "Take Another Road", "Off to See the Lizard", "Boomerang Love", "The Swamp Creature Let One In", "The Pascagoula Run", and "I Wish Lunch Could Last Forever" comprise the Heat Wave Chronicles.

Old and busted: Danica Patrick shows off her sandy ass on the beaches off the Bahamas. The new hotness: Danica Patrick shows off her insane flexibility in this Instagram video.

San Pellegrino mineral water has been produced for over 600 years. In 1395, the town borders of San Pellegrino were drawn, marking the start of its water industry. Leonardo da Vinci is said to have visited the town in 1509 to sample and examine the town's "miraculous" water, later writing a treatise on the subject. However this "fact" has been disputed. Analysis shows that the water is strikingly similar to the samples taken in 1782, the first year such analysis took place. In 2007, the German consumer television program, Markt, reported that San Pellegrino contains uranium. Nestlé was informed about this and responded that uranium was common in both bottled and tap water, and that the level in their product was below the threshold of harmful levels noted by various governments and food health organizations.

Your first challenge is a complete fucking softball: Tell me what year this whiteboard was updated.

Ernie, that Kragen store is now a suit outlet in the Northridge area of the San Fernando Valley on Reseda Blvd. just south of Devonshire. Also, it seems the SavOn was also acquired by CVS, just like Longs. Keep 'em comin'! Andrew

It looks like kragen auto parts is now Northridge Suit outlet located at 10141 Reseda Blvd, Northridge, CA. Rick

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Your second challenge is a metric shit ton harder: Find this gas station. I would encourage you to refine your search to the west coast and being the sporting fellow that I am, I zoomed and enhanced some relevant clues. Good luck!

Hi Ernie, I saw this and thought it might interest you. It's a short documentary about a Chicago-based cult who moved to Arizona and had a shootout with police. They moved to Arizona in 1978, and by 1982 clashes with the local residents and law enforcement would eventually boil over, as the town would see carjacking, armed patrols, Commandoes For Christ, a van blown up accidentally on the way to a jailbreak, and ultimately a huge melee between 150 cultists (armed with pipes, boards, rebar, garden tools, and honest-to-goodness nunchucks) and 37 local cops before the cult moved back to Chicago... t's 20:00, a bit long for us ADD-addled quadragenarians, but it flows quickly. Cheers, Charley

The girl is standing in the trees next to the Vargas Road Entrance ramp onto I-680 South in Fremont, California. Mission Blvd and Washington were the giveaways for me. Keep ‘em coming. Jamie

From the why the fuck would anyone want to face that information department: new app breaks down exactly what you do on your phone all fucking day.

Malocclusion, also known as buck teeth, is a misalignment or incorrect relation between the teeth of the two dental arches when they approach each other as the jaws close. It is a common finding, although it is not usually serious enough to require treatment. Those who have more severe malocclusions may require orthodontic and sometimes surgical treatment to correct the problem. In an experiment on two groups of rock badgers fed hardened or softened versions of the same foods, the animals fed softer food had significantly narrower and shorter faces and thinner and shorter mandibles than animals fed hard food. Experiments have shown similar results in other animals, including rabbits, supporting the theory that masticatory stress during childhood affects jaw development.


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