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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
September 20, 2014

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

what it looks like when a racecar's brakes fail


j.j. abrams hid a pretty amazing easter egg on the hull of the millennium falcon

celebratory crotch grab: hot falcons fan celebrates first down by grabbing her boyfriend's cock

bump firing a smith and wesson m&p 22 -- if you can afford the ammo then you can certainly afford the stock.

your weekend boob dump: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - twelve - thirteen

September 19, 2014

I Would Have Thought That With All The Rain Arizona Is Getting Lately, That Would Have Perked Up A Bit.

A couple of days ago I thumbnail linked a story about Salyut 7, which was a space station in low Earth orbit from April 1982 to February 1991. On 11 February 1985, contact with Salyut 7 was lost and the station began to drift, with all systems shut down. It was once again decided to attempt to repair the station, in what was in the words of author David S. F. Portree "one of the most impressive feats of in-space repairs in history." And when you watch this video of astronauts spotting cities from the International Space Station, you get a really good sense of just how fucking fast they're moving in relation to the ground.

Empress Orchid is a novel by Anchee Min which was first published in Great Britain in 2004. It is written in first person and is a sympathetic account of the life of Empress Dowager Cixi - from her humble beginnings to her rise as the Empress Dowager. Names within the Empress Orchid story are different in spelling but retain the same pronunciation - allowing the reader to identify each relevant character to his or her real life counterpart. You see, one thing that kind of makes my job easier is finding topless photos of women at the beach; more often than not, these women are predominantly European where seeing a woman's breasts aren't that big of a deal, where as here in the states we guffaw and bite the palms of or hands. This is one of those times where I tend to agree with the European mindset, and not because I like boobs, but because they're just boobs. Another example: Chickens might not fly much in life, but in death, a few of them got some pretty good air time with this odd U.K. stunt for McDonald's new Chicken Legend sandwich. It's a truly great tasting chicken burger made from a high quality piece of chicken breast fillet, in a crispy coating infused with seasoning and spices. Served in a warm, toasted Bakehouse roll, with Bacon, Batavia lettuce and a a smear of cool mayo. But don't go looking for the McDonalds Legend here in the United States; it's only available in the United Kingdom and even then, for a limited time only.

Kong is a popular line of dog toys and cat toys introduced in 1976. Made of rubber, they are hollow in the middle, and can be stuffed with treats or frozen to provide long-lasting distraction for anxious or high-energy dogs. The classic Kong resembles a snowman-like structure of three balls pushed together, but Kongs come in several variations for dogs of different ages and sizes; red for average chewers, pink or blue for puppies, purple for seniors, and black for tough chewers.

Ernie, here's an even better set Bavaria beer girl here. Keith

But on to more important things, shall we? Open up those peepers for another challenge. Can you identify where these two girls are, or more specifically, what (festival?) they're at? Here's a close up of the banner.

And if you're a Lexus fan, some folks were invited to the Monticello Motor Club to test drive the 2015 Lexus RC F, and they left with a big smile on their face.

With over 50 rental locations across the country and 50 years of experience, National Construction Rentals and National Event Services provide world-class service, widespread distribution, and exceptional expertise to construction and special event clients. For every temporary site need from safely securing a location and providing comfortable portable restrooms to preventing theft and controlling crowds – you can rest assured and trust National Construction Rentals to deliver the perfect solution.

In February of last year I picked up a Burris AR322 red dot sight for $287 shipped to my door. Which is pretty awesome given they started out at $400+ at full MSRP. There's a newer and upgraded version (5x vs 3x) called the AR536 and it too runs in the $400 range. Except now you can score one for $206.85 including shipping. You bastards!

I like a good game that's well thought out. So “Bungie” worked with Activision (Call of Duty) to get “Destiny” going. It cost over 500 million dollars which is about twice as much as it cost to make Avatar and also the most expensive video game ever made. So maybe if the PC can handle it, (I would imagine it being something akin to pulling a house over with ATV) it may be worth wasting a few hours eating Cheetos in my bean bag naked. -Ryan

Stunning special effects aside, Destiny has been a disappointing game to many players for a number of reasons, many of which were detailed in a 5 stars out of 10 review of the game. At times, Destiny feels like the consummate MMO, but at other times it seems clear that its developers at Bungie fail to grasp the qualities that good MMOs actually good.

Cheez-It is an American snack food cracker manufactured by the Kellogg Company through the Sunshine Biscuits division. They are roughly 26 by 24 mm (1.0 by 0.95 inch) rectangular crackers made with wheat flour, vegetable oil, sharp cheddar cheese, salt, and spices. The product was introduced in 1921 by the Green and Green company of Dayton Ohio; a series of corporate acquisitions made Cheez-It the property of the Keebler Company in 1996. There are a variety of Cheez-It related products, including Baby Swiss, White Cheddar, Parmesan & Garlic, Cheddar Jack, Pepper Jack, Italian Four Cheese, Colby, Reduced Fat, Snack Mix (formerly called Party Mix), Snack Mix Double Cheese, Hot & Spicy made with Tabasco, Mozzarella, Provolone, Duoz Sharp Cheddar & Parmesan, Duoz Smoked Cheddar & Monterey Jack, Scrabble Junior, and the Cheez-It Big.

The FG 42 is a selective fire battle rifle produced in Nazi Germany during World War II. The weapon was developed specifically for the use of the Fallschirmjäger airborne infantry in 1942 and was used in very limited numbers until the end of the war. It combined the characteristics and firepower of a light machine gun in a lightweight form no larger than the standard-issue Kar 98k bolt-action rifle. Considered one of the most advanced weapon designs of World War II, the FG 42 influenced post-war small arms development and most of its design was copied by the US Army when they developed the M60 machine gun. And one just sold for $299,000 at auction.

There are 10 million members at Adult Friend Finder, all of which looking for fun filled action to keep warm this chilly season. Even if you don't want to hook up, sign up for free and check out tons of nude photos and profiles. With 10 million members, you may find the chick next door looking to get laid. And you ladies, don't be shy. Tons of guys are waiting for you, too. Just take the one minute to find some people in the area! So sign up for free then go to your e-mail to confirm your account and get busy!

September 18, 2014

Left Wheel. Blue.

Okay kids, serious business here, because I suspect shit is about go get real before this year comes to an end, and I think we're going to pay a toll soon over what shitty border security we have. So if you aren't taking at least some precautions or making minimal preparations, I think you're doing yourself a disservice. I think for the most part, we'll be able to lean on our gub'mint for the majority of it, but the harsh reality is we can't expect them to catch everything. Not that I think Southwest Florida is big on anyone's hit list, but for you poor fuckers in the larger metropolitan areas, I know I sound like a broken record about having some means to to defend yourself, I ain't just whistlin Dixie.

The Joker is a unique playing card found in most modern card decks, as an addition to the standard four suits: clubs, diamonds, hearts and spades. The often colorful card has a rich history, and varying interpretations depending on specific card games and their rules. Jokers also appear as tiles in some Mahjong game sets, primarily in the American version of Mahjong. It is believed that the term "Joker" comes from Jucker, the original German spelling of Euchre. The card was originally introduced in about 1860 for games of that family to be used as the highest trump.

National Football League Cheerleading is a professional cheerleading organization and popular attraction that can give an NFL team more coverage/airtime, popular local support and increased media image. As of 2014, 26 of the 32 NFL teams include a cheerleading squad in their franchise; 7 teams do not have cheerleading squads: Buffalo Bills, Chicago Bears, Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, New York Giants, and the Pittsburgh Steelers. At the end of the day, we don't need to understand the economic or psychological reasons for the existence of NFL cheerleaders to appreciate them. And that's what today's collection of sexy NFL cheerleader GIFs is all about.

At the end of the Vietnam Way, the USS Midway pushed over $10 million dollars worth of UH-1 Huey helicopters overboard and into the South China sea, all so a single Cessna O-1 flown by South Vietnamese Air Force Major Buang-Ly and his family could land onboard. Sound absurd? Well it's true whether you believe it or not! And the O-1 that Major Buang landed is now on display at the Naval Aviation Museum in Pensacola, FL.

I'm at work so I can't check it out until later. Can you find this location? Keep up the good work! Rich

Well first I did some Google image searchging and came across this gallery which will make most grown men weep. Then I stumbled across another picture of the accident, only from a different angle. Notice the front license plate? California. So searching for Skyline Road in California it's only a matter of time until you find one that ends in a T-intersection with a road that begins with the letter "F" and overlooking a hill... viola! The intersection of Skyline Road and Foothill Road, in Ventura, California. You're welcome.

Now let me ask you to identify the manufacturer of these floating foam turtles. I can tell you they are not made by: Nuby, Chunky Critters, One Step Ahead, or Babies R Us.

7 Up is a brand of lemon-lime flavored, non-caffeinated soft drink. The rights to the brand are held by Dr Pepper Snapple Group in the United States, and PepsiCo in the rest of the world. The U.S. version of the 7 Up logo includes a red spot between the "7" and "Up"; this red spot has been animated and used as a mascot for the brand as Cool Spot. A variation, Orange-Up, was available for a short time in Norway during the mid-1990s. It was pulled off the market after 2–3 years. Today, 7 Up Orange can still be bought in Austria and The Netherlands.

Hey Ern. Just a tid-bit on The Fighting Muskies. My Wife is one. New Concord is actually a "DRY" town, with numerous drive-thrus just outside the boundaries. We live about 20 minutes away, with a drive-thru just across the street. Scott, in Zanesville, Ohio.

Have you seen this series of videos on Lego rifles? Lookup "lego lee enfield" on youtube. Could these be considered "assault" rifles? Do they have too many rounds in the magazine? keith

No matter how shitty your day is going, there's always someone whose day is just a little shittier.

Our multi-million dollar fleets of Predators and Reaper drones are quickly becoming the exception rather than the rule. As UAV technology continues its breakneck advance, the cost of producing even high-performance ISR drones is plummeting. This new UAV, for example, is so inexpensive and quick to create that it's practically disposable. Dubbed the Razor by its creators at the University of Virginia, this 1.8 pound, 4-foot-wide flying wing is powered by a single prop and controlled with nothing more than an Android tablet from up to a mile. It can also plot its own autonomous course using GPS.

The Dark Knight? The Empire Strikes Back? Terminator 2? The Naked Gun 2 1/2? Which of these which was the better sequel, in your opinion?

September 17, 2014

Happy Constitution Day!

For those of you unaware, Constitution Day is an American federal observance that recognizes the adoption of the United States Constitution and those who have become U.S. citizens. It is normally observed on September 17, the day the U.S. Constitutional Convention signed the Constitution in 1787 in Philadelphia.

Meanwhile, earlier this week a 26 year old man -- who had previously been labeled as mentally disabled by the state of New York -- tried to admit himself for additional mental health treatment but was refused coverage. Instead of treatment, he was told he should "talk with the president about it." So dressed in Pokemon clothing and carrying his favorite Pikachu doll, that's exactly what he tried to do. He scaled the fence at the White House and was promptly getting arrested. As you laugh, keep in mind a 2014 report by the Treatment Advocacy Center, a nonprofit aimed at removing the stigma of mental illness and barriers to treatment, analyzed the state of mental commitment laws state by state, looking at both the "quality of involuntary treatment laws which facilitate emergency hospitalization during a psychiatric emergency and the availability of court orders mandating continued treatment as a condition of living in a community." Also try to keep in mind that in said report (PDF Warning) New York State received an "F" for Impatient Commitment. Also try to keep in mind that while New York State received an F, and a mentally ill person they shunned was being arrested, the Brady Campaign is now suing various online retailers, much like they tried to do with Armslist. Also try to keep in mind that while New York State received an F, and a mentally ill person they shunned was being arrested, and the Brady Campaign is selling ammunition resellers, again, IT'S FUCKING CONSTITUTION DAY.

And while IT'S FUCKING CONSTITUTION DAY, consider the National Firearms Act of 1934 which was created to regulate short-barreled rifles, referring to a shoulder-fired, rifled firearm with a barrel length of less than 16 inches or overall length of less than 26 inches. In the United States, an SBR is an item regulated by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives as an NFA firearm. It is a federal felony to possess an SBR unless it is registered with the BATFE to the person who possesses it, and merely owning both a short barrel and a legal-length rifle could be construed as intent to build an illegal, unregistered SBR resulting in the 10-year mandatory minimum sentence. So putting a regular rifle stock on this pistol? Yields you a decade in federal prison. Stop and think about that for a minute. Isn't that fucking nuts? But now thanks to our friends at Sig who created the Sig Pistol Stabilizing Brace, we an alternative to federal PMITA prison. In fact you can even pick up complete Radical Firearms pistol/brace packages for just under $600. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING CONSTITUTION DAY.

Old and busted: Americans jet-skiing through Lake Powell canyon. The new hotness: Canadians canoeing through Quttinirpaaq National Park glacier. And is anyone else a little disappointed the guy on the jet ski didn't go full throttle even for a little bit?

ATTENTION NERDS: The Hewlett-Packard HP-01 was the first calculator wristwatch ever manufactured and sold to the public by Hewlett-Packard. The HP-01 used 9 light-emitting diodes for its digital display. Introduced in 1977 at the height of the LED watch craze, five models were available, two gold filled models and three stainless models. Prices were from $650 to $850, which is the equivalent of $2,500 to $3,300 in 2014 dollars. Most of the 28 buttons on the HP-01 were recessed and were designed to be depressed with a stylus. Prototype production was stopped by the end of 1979, but now a prototype model has recently made its way to eBay where it sold for $14,500.

September 16, 2014

If One Glass Of Red Wine Is Good For Your Heart, Two Must Be Better.

An automated pool cleaner is a vacuum cleaner intended to collect debris and sediment from swimming pools with minimal human intervention. In a suction-type pool cleaner, water pumped out of the pool via its skimmer or drains is used for locomotion and debris suction and returned after being filtered via pool return or outlet valves. This is the least expensive and most popular type. It traces a random course. This type of cleaner is usually attached via multiple segments of 1.5 inch hose to a vacuum plate in the skimmer, or to a dedicated extraction or "vac" line on the side of the pool. The suction action of the pool's pump provides motive force to the machine to randomly traverse the floor and walls of the pool, extracting dirt and debris in its path. The first automatic pool cleaner was a suction cleaner.

Did you know that if every single person on the planet were to simultaneously make 200,000 phone calls, there would be the same number of total connections as a single human brain in a single day.

Muskingum University is a private university founded in 1837, in New Concord, Ohio. It is located approximately sixty miles east of the state capital of Columbus and affiliated with the Presbyterian Church. Muskingum offers more than 40 academic majors. The newest programs launched are digital media design, criminal justice, and engineering. A Bachelor of Science in Nursing program has also been initiated. Muskingum's campus consists of 21 major buildings, a football stadium and a small lake, which all sit atop 225 acres of rolling hills overlooking New Concord. The university's colors are black and magenta and the school's mascot is the "Fighting Muskie" after the the muskellunge, the largest member of the pike family.

In 2007 a German citizen trained his dog -- aptly named Adolf -- to raise his right paw when he was given the command "Heil Hitler"; judges ruled that the man should serve a prison term after suspended jail sentences and fines failed to dissuade him from continuing to display Nazi symbols. The man was sentenced to five months in prison for violating Germany's ban on the Nazi salute.

It looks like this picture was taken in front of The $5 Store on the 200 block Duval street in Key West, looking (to your right) towards the Red Garter saloon, since The $5 Store store sells the key west t-shirts. Rick

Hey Ernie, I got this one! Without a doubt it is an older can of Bavaria Premium. Here is a link to a can from 2009, and I also attached a standalone. Take care. Mike

Ernie, Do you know what make and model of shotgun this is? I can't quite make it out... Rex

Oddly enough, Rex, I can tell you exactly what kind of shitgun that is -- it's 8-shot Mossberg 500 Cruiser. I know this for a fact because it's one of the shotguns I keep loaded and hiding out around my house, courtesy of a traffic contest I won on Armslist. Mine arrived as pictured but I've since removed the pistol grip and replaced it with a full-length synthetic stock. On a side note, I think pistol grip shotguns are only good for busting teeth, busting noses, and music videos, so if anyone wants my unused grip, speak now or forever hold your peace.

And while they might be bright red when they hit your dinner plate, shellfish are usually brown, olive-green or gray when alive and in the wild; the dramatic color change during cooking has to do with the way certain biochemicals inside the shellfish react to heat. Lobsters and crabs have a pigment called astaxanthin in their shells. Astaxanthin is a carotenoid pigment: absorbing blue light and appearing red, orange or yellow in color. While the crustaceans are alive, astaxanthin lies wrapped in the tight embrace of a protein called crustacyanin. The protein holds the pigment so tight, in fact, that it's flattened and its light-absorption properties are changed. These biochemicals get separated when a crab or lobster is cooked. Crustacyanin is not heat-stable, so introducing it to a boiling pot of water or a grill causes it to relax its bonds with astaxanthin, unravel and let the pigment's true bold red color shine through.

I have two words for you: BACON COOKIES.

Ryan Matthew Dunn was an American reality television personality, actor and stunt man. He was a member of the Jackass and Viva La Bam crew. Dunn came to prominence as a member of the CKY Crew along with long-time friend Bam Margera for their extreme stunts and pranks recorded on camera which led to the rise of MTV's Jackass and its three later feature films, which have all been commercial successes. Ryan Dunn died in an alcohol-related automobile accident in West Goshen Township, Chester County, Pennsylvania, on the morning of June 20, 2011, alongside his friend Zachary Hartwell, a production assistant on Jackass Number Two.

Sure Tiger can bounce a ball on his wedge like a pro, but can he drive a ball into someone's pocket, like Rory Mcllroy? They only get a certain amount of balls so he couldn't get a souvenir. I would have held it hostage for his driver ;-) -ryan

Hi Ernie, I'm not sure if you posted this (NSFW) hideous picture of Miley Cyrus because A) She looks hideous B) Her tattoo is misspelled? I could Swear it says "Just Berathe" Do you see it as well? Cheers! Randy

It's here! It's here! More Russian surplus 54R is here! Sportsmans Guide's shipment of $91.19 for 440 rounds (20.7 cents/round) has arrived; now that's not quite as good as Cheaper Than Dirt's 20.2 center per round, but I will never ever forgive CTD for price gouging in the dark days following Sandy Hook. And I hope you don't either. Plus Sportsmans' has a coupon "SH1452" for FREE shipping, which really makes a difference on a 45 lb ammo order.

Today, the Quaker Oats company states that "The 'Quaker man' does not represent an actual person. His image is that of a man dressed in the Quaker garb, chosen because the Quaker faith projected the values of honesty, integrity, purity and strength." However, early Quaker Oats advertising dating back to 1909 did, indeed, identify the "Quaker man" as William Penn, the 17th-century philospher and early Quaker, and referred to him as "standard bearer of the Quakers and of Quaker Oats." Resembling classic woodcuts of Penn's likeness, starting in 1877 the figure was depicted full-length, sometimes holding a srcoll with the word "Pure" written across it. In 1946, graphic designer Jim Nash created a black-and-white head-and-shoulders portrait of the smiling Quaker Man, and Haddon Sundblom's now-familiar color head-and-shoulders portrait debuted in 1957.

Yesterday I linked this list of animals which may have been harmed during the filming of a movie. One those mentioned was Life of Pi where it's alleged the tiger damn near drown, and that really caught me by surprise because there's so much CGI in that movie, I'm surprise they had to put anyone (or anyone) in danger.


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