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Ernie's House of Whoop Ass!
September 3, 2015

Neon Signs Really Are A Lost Art.

Four years ago, Cisco announced the end-of-sale and end-of-life dates for the Scientific Atlanta/Cisco Explorer 4250HDC. Customers who had active service contracts or active warranties continued to receive support from the Cisco Technical Assistance Center until their warranty expired, but customers were encouraged to migrate to the Cisco Explorer 4650HDC.

With a little practice and a knowledgeabe chef's helpful hints, a sushi workshop is a great place to learn how easy it really is to make sushi in your own kitchen. Where am I meeting this unziped girl to sign up for our first lesson?

Fuck you, Tom Brady, you cheating motherfucker. Just fuck you.

Real cheapskates know that eventually all annual calendars will be timely once again. For example, your 2015 wall calendar can be used again in the years 2026, 2037, 2043, 2054, 2065, 2071, 2082 and counting. For a handy schedule of when you can reuse your old calendars, simply visit

Hi Ernie, Just finished putting together a collection of photographs of alpacas with incredible hair. Best Regards David

Hi Ernie, Challenge accepted. That photographer is in Budapest, Hungary on Vaci Street. Here's the street view. There's a lot less people in the street view than when she posed. Rudy

If you're on the .45 side of the caliber debate, consider the $399 pringfield XDS Essential package which includes FREE SHIPPING to your FFL, two EXTRA magazines (normally $45 each), a pistol bag ($20'ish?), and dual mag pouch ($34) after a mail in rebate.

I'm not entirely sure there are Streetview'able, but I would have to imagine we'd be able to see these stairs on Google Maps overhead satellite view, yes?

Hey Ernie, The suspension bridge was a lot tougher than usual. I was able to locate a site with more photos and finally, in one I was able to make out the word WOHRL in the ground floor window . Apparently they are a sporting goods/ clothing store in Germany. after looking at different locations, I tried googling WOHRL along with the other letters ROT... and then it auto filled in " rotmain center bayreuth" and there it was, in Bayreuth, Germany. Germany is weird about privacy laws, so no Street View, but I found this site with photos that confirm the location. Keep 'em coming, Tim

No life altering challenge here, I'm just curious if anyone can translate her back tattoo.

Zima means "winter" in Slavic languages. TV writer Jane Espenson came up with the name. It was launched nationally in the United States as Zima Clearmalt in 1993 after being test-marketed two years earlier in the cities of Nashville, Sacramento, and Syracuse. The lemon-lime drink was part of the "clear craze" of the 1990s that produced products such as Crystal Pepsi and Tab Clear. The slogans used in early advertisements for Zima were "a truly unique alcohol beverage" and "Zomething different". Its production in the United States ceased in October 2008, but it is still marketed in Japan.

September 2, 2015

It's Always A Little Weird When Art Imitates Life. And Vise Versa.

When the American Flag is displayed in a manner other than by being flown from a staff, it should be displayed flat, whether indoors or out. When displayed either horizontally or vertically against a wall, the union should be uppermost and to the flag's own right, that is, to the observer's left. When displayed in a window it should be displayed in the same way, that is with the union or blue field to the left of the observer in the street. When festoons, rosettes or drapings are desired, bunting of blue, white and red should be used, but never the flag.

Here's something else to salute: Danica Patrick's sandy covered ass on a beach. Um. Damn. Baby got back.

The Nashes are a close-knit family. Tom is a popular teacher, father to two teens: Eli, a hockey star and girl magnet, and his sister Deenie, a diligent student. Their seeming stability, however, is thrown into chaos when Deenie's best friend Lise is struck by a terrifying, unexplained seizure during class. Rumors of a hazardous outbreak spread through the family, school and community. As hysteria swells and more girls succumb, a series of tightly held secrets emerge, threatening to unravel friendships, families and the town's fragile idea of security. The Fever, a novel by Megan Abbott, offers a chilling story about guilt, family secrets, and the lethal power of desire.

The second thoughts chick is located in a small park in Prague-Prague 5, Czech Republic. Rick

Hey Ernie, That chick who looked like she was having second thoughts is in Prague, Czech Republic As you can see by the rest of the photo set, Kristyna over came her fears and proudly displayed her shaved va jay jay to the rest of the city. Tim

Here's an easy challenge for you: show me where this photographer is!

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Do you know what this is? It's a charger used by convicts to hide money and drugs they tuck it up their rectum. This is pencil detonator, timer, used as a receiver from the pager. This is C4 highly explosive; you put it all together you've got a bomb, not very sophisticated, but very powerful. [whispers in his ear] That's what you have in your ass right now. Don't move! Don't move!

Oh, yeah, that very busy sign is next to the Farmer's Market in Brno. You are standing in the city center of Brno, Czech Republic. No image searching here, I just hit up Google Maps for the places on the signs. Lekarna means Pharmacy, and there can't be more than 1,000 of those in Brno. Tochacek seems to be the construction company that built the scaffolding, so no help there. I looked at a number of pharmacies and realized they were all located in much more modern surroundings than the picture. I went looking for the older buildings and voila! Thanks for the sightseeing trip today! Dan

Ernie, The picture of the girl at the “very busy street sign” is located in Brno, Czech Republic at Masaryk University. It was taken at the corner of Bandlova and Moravske nam. The street sign was the giveaway for the city and about 10 minutes of searching on Brno's picture sites revealed the university building seen in the photograph. Kevin

Hey Ernie, Here's your goddamn sign... The road sign is showing road numbers, not distances. The only place these converge is Brno, good old Czech Republic. You can see the cross in the background, universal for a pharmacy, but the name isn't clear. A quick google and low and behold! The trouble is there are dozens of them. Judging from the architecture and sidewalks, I assumed a downtown touristy area. So searching Lekarna in google maps and only street viewing the ones in suspect area I finally found the bitch. Squicker

The opening cinematic of Halo 5 boasts a full-on action sequence that aims to be as satisfying as one in a feature film, and it's all just an appetizer for what Microsoft claims will be the “most ambitious, robust and epic Halo campaign experience.” To get your own taste of that experience, check out the Halo 5 opening sequence that features a guy that I'm pretty sure is Captain Mal from Firefly.

Here's an difficult challenge for you: since we don't have too many suspension type pedestrian bridges here in the US, I would imagine this one is located somewhere in Europe. What roadway does it span?

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September 1, 2015

We'll Get Your Mom Back This Time For Sure, Timmy.

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The new MacBook is gorgeous, insanely thin, revolutionary and pressure-sensitive. It's also missing one killer feature: a glowing Apple logo. The shining bit of trade dress has been a pop culture icon ever since Apple released the PowerBook G3 in May 1999. However, it looks like Jony Ive's design team is ready to sacrifice the glowing Apple beacon in the name of thinness. You'll still find a light-up logo on the MacBook Airs and MacBook Pros, but it was never meant to be on Apple's new golden beauties.

Good news: If you purchase any NEW Springfield Armory pistol between Sept. 1, 2015, and Dec. 31, 2015, and you will also receive two extra magazines, a dual-pistil range bag, and a duag mag pouch absolutely free via mail.

Well this looks like a pretty major intersection. Can anyone show me where this very busy street sign is located?

Hey Ernie, that graffiti on Jockey 9 is located at 15 Avenue and Bell Road in Phoenix. The chick looks like Niki from the August 10 "Lady Luck" photo challenge. From her Tumblr page she seems to enjoy running around Phoenix posing nude in public. Hope I run into her. Keep 'em coming, Tim

This is where they fought the battle of Gettysburg. Fifty thousand men died right here on this field, fighting the same fight that we are still fighting among ourselves today. This green field right here, painted red, bubblin' with the blood of young boys. Smoke and hot lead pouring right through their bodies. Listen to their souls, men. I killed my brother with malice in my heart. Hatred destroyed my family. You listen, and you take a lesson from the dead. If we don't come together right now on this hallowed ground, we too will be destroyed, just like they were. I don't care if you like each other of not, but you will respect each other. And maybe... I don't know, we'll learn to play this game like men.

Short and sweet: can anyone identify the title of this paperback book?

August 31, 2015

Do These Boots Make My Legs Look Fat?

Easy Peasy challenge: I hate vandals. Show me where SKRAP wrote on jockey number nine so I can alert the proper authorities.

The Pontiac Fiero is a mid-engined sports car that was built by Pontiac from 1984 to 1988, and designed by George Milidrag and Hulki Aldikacti as a sports car. Many technologies incorporated in the Fiero design such as plastic body panels and hidden headlamps were radical for its time. The public had high expectations for the Fiero with its mid-engine layout and aggressive styling, which resembled exotic mid-engine sports cars like the Ferrari 308GTB. While initially garnering good reviews for its handling, the Fiero soon received negative reviews from other automotive critics who expected higher performance from a mid-engine two-seater.

Building on my This Asshole vs This Asshole reference from this weekend. There is nothing more pitiful, nothing more maddening, as a grieving parent so tangled up in their emotions that they channel all of that grief and all of that anger into some misguided crusade to violate the rights of innocent people who played absolutely no part in their child's undoing.

Intermediate Challenge: It seems to be that this girl is having second thoughts about strolling through the park naked. Any idea where she might be?

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That sports fan is on the field at Ram Stadium, on the campus of Shepherd University, in beautiful downtown Shepherdstown, WV. My kid used to play flag football there. Keep up the good work. Regards, Stu

I can sum this past Saturday night's Sugar Shane Mosley versus Ricardo "The Matador" Mayorga boxing match as follows: Ricardo Mayorga grabs crotch, mocks Shane Mosley, gets knocked out 3 rounds later. In fact, there came a point when the camera panned to Mayorga's wife at ringside, seated with some of their 10 children, crying her eyes out as she watched her husband absorb punishment.

Most dofficult challenge: Assuming this car was purchased on the island and not imported from the mainland, show me where this hatchback was purchased.

Hemorrhoids are swollen blood vessels that may occur inside or outside the rectum. Hemorrhoids can usually be managed by eating a high-fiber diet and drinking eight to ten glasses of water per day, and usually do not cause problems. However, if hemorrhoids bleed a lot or cause pain, hemorrhoid surgery can remove them. A hemorrhoidectomy is is the most aggressive approach and there is a markedly decreased chance of the hemorrhoids returning. There is a potential for complications with this procedure; however, they occur less than 5% of the time. Complications include infection, mild bleeding, and stenosis where scarring causes the anus to narrow.

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