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Inconsistent Premises Always Make An Argument Valid.

So over this past weekend, I received an email that has created a terrible paradox for me. I've been doing this website/email list thing for quite some time now, so when I tell you that this was one of the most ignorant and racist emails I've ever had the displeasure of reading, that statement is not to be taken lightly. Normally, such a thing would result in an immediate flaming but there's a problem. This person has been a longstanding EHOWA member for over four years: he's contributed material, he's provided some insight on a few issues, he's contributed to LBEH and abused animals, and he's an all around good guy. And I guess that's what makes this email so bad, it's like the betrayal is worse than the crime itself?

Anyway, I wrote this person back asking if what they had sent was somehow a work of satire and perhaps I was taking things too seriously. No reply. So I'm going to share their email with you now, and after much debate, I have decided not to include John's email address. I guess that will be my parting act of mercy.

What first made me snort hot coffee out of my nose was, "Your Mulatto presidential vote." Then of course and a few sentences later, "the Mulatto's comments..." John wasn't saving any time with this little nickname... it took longer to type "Mulatto" than "Obama". And he actually took the time to capitalize the word mulatto, turning it into the newest proper noun. So he's not just racist, but he's a proud racist. Like he's going to fucking formalize racism and make it acceptable. Dress his racism up in a tuxedo -- obviously a white one, not a black one -- and present it to the world all spit and polished.

Next what I enjoyed was how he made the decision as to what defiles my service to this country. Not that I would consider some slack jawed redneck's overt -- but nicely presented -- racism to be even more of an insult, but sorry, I don't get to make that call.

And collaborating with the enemy. Uh-huh. In order for this to be a true statement, one much believe that the September 11th attacks were the not the actions of 19 screwhead assholes, but that of the entire worldwide Muslim populace. So somewhere, some time prior to 9/11/2001, every Muslim in the world -- all 1.57 BILLION of them -- cast some sort of a secret ballot. And from that vote, it was decided that 19 agents would go out and commit an act of terrorism on their behalf. If you believe this to be true, than I hope you hold Christianity responsible for all of the abortion clinic bombings as well. Sorry folks, no more churches or YMCA buildings.

Me? I'm an information freak. I research the living shit out of stuff sometimes. And while I'm not particularly delighted about the planned Islamic community center going up in Manhattan -- honestly I'm not fond of them anywhere -- let's take a closer look at this issue. Since not even the most ignorant asshole out there would try to make any type of legal argument against the proposed mosque, obviously this boils down to a moral question. Or as The Rack so eloquently asks, "We all know that they have the right to do it, but should they?" To which I would ask, why the fuck shouldn't they? How can a nation that was born from religious persecution say, "Liberty and justice for all. Except you Muslim fuckers. You guys take your shit about ten blocks north of here." And by the way, taking the easy road and catering to the fear and biggotry of the majority? Is a total bullshit cowardly move, Palin.

But first let us take into account those poor wounded souls who say it's too soon for any kind of a mosque "this close to hallowed ground". Okay, no problem. Since two blocks away and nine years later is too close and too soon, just what are the acceptable boundries? Five blocks? Ten years? Do we take votes from everyone around the country and figure out a mathematrical average? Do New Yorker's votes count more than mine, since I live in Florida? Does my vote count more than some other American citizen, if they're Muslim? I mean there can't be a "mosque exclusion zone" in lower Manhattan forever, so it's just a question of time, right? Maybe in a hundred years there can be a mosque one block away? What's good for you? Ten years? Maybe eleven years, since the tenth anniversary is going to be a very difficult time for us? Or what if they build it fifteen blocks away, do they get to move a block closer every five years or so? And if can they store these credits up, and move three blocks closer after fifteen years? What if they make a donation to the 9/11 Victims fund, does they buy them a one block courtesy move? I'm sorry, I'm just trying to figure out the ground rules for religious discrimination, because if you can't answer these questions you really can't raise the "you hurt my feelings" defense.

So again, whether or not one has any heartburn with this proposed mosque really boils down to a moral question. Do you believe the planners when they say they're building a mosque to service the Muslim population in lower Manhattan, or do you take the stance that other simlpletons have, "Islam has a propensity to erect Mosques on conquered territory." Well, let's take a look at each side of this cookie. A quick search of Google maps for "catholic church new york city" yields this -- for your convience I have flagged Ground Zero as the yellow marker. All those little red dots all throughout Manhattan and spreading across the Hudson into New Jersey and Brooklyn? That's right, those are Catholic churches. Okay, now let's do the same for Judism, this time "synagogue new york city". Huh, lots of red dots again, but apparently Jersey and Jews don't mix. Okay, now we take on Islam and search for "mosque new york city" Interpret that data however you like.

Now as to the other claim, victory mosques, or whatever the fuck you'd like to call them. I've spent about two hours this morning, search for places that Islam has built a mosque in -- I dunno, celebration? -- of some battle over a foreign entity. Here's what I've come up with.

Now I'm not saying my research on this is the end-all-be-all of places that Muslims may have built mosques in 'places of victory', I'm just saying that's what I found after a couple of hours looking and I've got shit to do today. But if you think Muslims were alone in that regard, you're sadly mistaken as Christians of that era were quite fond building on other people's shit, too.

So there you have it. All the facts you need to make your informed decision. But I'm pretty sure there haven't been too many Islamic conquests down here in southwest Florida, so me personally, I don't put too much stock in the 'victory mosque' theory. In fact the more I looked into it, the more it simply fell apart. Now is this new mosque being built for to service the local Muslim polulace, or the next instance of a pattern that occured over a span of seven centuries, the most recent instance of which was over six hundred years ago? You make the call, Columbo. And yes. The fact that I -- the guy who will hold up a three iron during a thunderstorm and say, "There is no God" -- is standing up for religious freedoms, is a punchline not lost on me. I now know more about mosques than I ever wanted to know in my life.

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