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September 13, 2017

Some Flooded Neighborhoods Are Facing $25,000 Fines If They `Illegally` Pump Water Out.

Hurricane Irma set records in two ways: top sustained winds (185 mph, beating the 175 mph from Hurricane Andrew) and lowest central pressure (914 mb, just ahead of the 915 mb estimated for Hurricane Isabel in 2003). The only hurricane recorded anywhere in the Atlantic with stronger sustained winds than Irma was Hurricane Allen (1980), at 190 mph. Irma racked up a 37-hour stretch with top winds of 185 mph. This beats the global record of 24 hours at or above 185 mph set by Typhoon Haiyan in 2013. Irma spent a total of 3.25 days at Category 5 strength, most of it in a long stretch from Sept. 5 to 8. This puts Irma in a tie with the 1932 Cuba hurricane as the Atlantic storm with the most hours at Cat 5 strength. Before Irma, no Atlantic storm in the satellite era (1966-present) had racked up three consecutive days as a Cat 5. Only Hurricane Ivan (2004) spent more time as a major hurricane (Cat 3/4/5) than Irma's 8.5 days.

THINGS TO FIND: Man this whole hurricane ordeal has been one big fucking rollercoaster, let me tell you that. Thankfully my neighborhood has this far been a looter free zone.

Hurricane Irma: Lowe's customer gives last generator to fellow shopper
Delta Just Added Another Final Domestic 747 Flight
normally this would bother my OCD but in this case i'll make an exception
Photos of the Destruction Hurricane Irma Left Behind
True Bostonian spirit while waiting for the red line.
coworkers's dog when he realized it's his cake
Keyshawn Johnson Pulls Son Out of Nebraska, Becomes Father of the Year Candidate
Container ship propeller in motion as seen though an inspection window
yeah, real subtle grandpa
Utah cop who arrested nurse over blood draw fired from second job
sexy Random Photos 494
Cristiana Capotondi Nip Slip on the Red Carpet
Nipples at NY Fashion Week RoundUp! Sara Sampaio, Elsa Hosk and Others!
Courtney Stodden topless
The Beach Spy Part 164
Davina Rankin
dude NSFW!

September 12, 2017

I Have Weathered The Storm.

I am here. Both me and The Boss Lady -- and Bianca -- are alive and kicking. The house has sustained mild to moderate damage, but it could have been a lot worse if storm surge had come in. Out on the lanai we've lost about 30 screens in the pool cage. But will take quite a while since screen is hard to come by right now. Mild roof leak over office caused some damage to ceiling and wall. But the real corker is one of the big royal palm trees came down and dealt a glancing blow to my garage roof. I managed to climb up and sawz-all off most of the top, but the trunk itself is going to be there for awhile; trying to roll or pull it off will cause more damage to the roof and destroy the concrete driveway below when it falls. Have to wait until we can find some guy with a hydraulic arm or maybe a forklift to lift that side off the house and set it on the driveway for dismemberment. In the meantime, have backed one car out -- very hinky driving under a 5,000lb tree hanging over youe head like one of Wile E Coyote's fucking AMCE contraptions -- but TBL's car is trapped for the time being.

Fortunately, I had the foresight to turn off the water, power, and propane before we evacuated to neighbor's house, and when I turn the propane back on everything in the house works fine -- stove, fireplace, etc -- but there's a mild propane smell emanating from the tank in the yard. I suspect when the tree toppled, the roots pulled on a propane supply line and caused a leak in one of the valves or whatnot. For now the propane is turned back off until Balgas can get out here and inspect. Probably a few hundred bucks to get that taken care of. In the meantime, we cook on an electric griddle and the charcoal grill just to be safe.

But we're alive and well and not under 10-15 feet of water, which is what the initial storm surge projections were the morning of, so that's something. Had Irma not made her last minute turn eastward and heading inland around Naples, things would have turned out very differently. I'm guessing it will be around $1500-$1800 to have the pool cage rescreened, about $1000 for the leak over the office, about $500 to have the tree taken down and disposed of, and shiiiiitt maybe $2000-$2500 for the roof/gutter damage caused by the tree, and eh, maybe $300 or so to have the propane leak fixed? ? So I'm ballparking around $5000-$5500 in damage. And what's my homeowners's insurance hurricane damage deductible? $6500; meaning every bit of this is all going to come out of pocket. C'est la vie.

I haven't been able to venture out much to check the damage in surrounding areas. There is no gasoline to be had, debris in the road -- I DON'T HAVE BIG RED ANYMORE GODAMMIT -- I am in one of the few neighborhoods with power, and many neighboring areas are dealing with localized flooding. No internet. Doing this update via mobile hotspot from my phone; Verizon is waiving all data charges for the next week. Some of the links below may be a little dated, as they're the very last of what I had stored before my four day hiatus for Irma. Will post more when I can.

18,000 Pounds Of Sandbags Weren't Enough To Protect This Houston Home
HALP my dog is broken
pretty good karate kid cosplay?
de Havilland Beaver Plane Crash at Lake Hood
what to do if your car is (literally) flooded
somehow i dodn't think she's done this before
Truck Hauling A Camper Loses Control And Flips Out
las vegas neons from back in the day
Maps show what Harvey's impact would look like in other U.S. states
now that's one classy horse
the i can't lose weight starter pack
The Fighter Plane That Shot Itself Down
this is not bad advice
dipshit bitten by a sidewinder rattlesnake while holding it in his living room.
pennywise actor made child actors cry on the set of it

because scott asked so nicely: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - twelve - thirteen - fourteen

Dillion Carter Rides an ATV!
Delina G on Femjoy in Voluptuous
Adelle Naked in the Wild
Jaye Lough - The Italian Dragon
Melissa Debling Feeling Kinky
mimi's secret life
what a nice necklace part 3

September 9, 2017

This Will Be My Last Post For A While. Hopefully Not Permanantly.

Well, things seem to have taken a turn for the worse here for Team Ernie, and I mean that in the literal sense. For the last two weeks, all the models predicted Hurricane Irma (and its storm surge) would pass well east of us, coming shore near Miami and following up the eastern coast of Florida. Run from water but hide from wind, as the saying goes. And so that's what happened... everyone on the east coast evacuated north, and those of us on the west coast just hunkered down and prepared for a few weeks without utilities. And then last night -- last fucking night with less than 36 hours to go -- the whole thing flip flopped and now we're in the bullzeye.

I know what you're thinking, "Get in your car and run!" Unfortunately, it's way too late for that. I know that sounds crazy and with the storm set to hit tomorrow morning, 24 hours should be enough time to get the fuck out of dodge, right? Under ideal circumstances, yes. Under hurricane evacuation circumstances, no. You run a much greater chance of getting stuck in the I75 gridlock, perhaps running out of gas, and having to weather the fucking hurricane in your car stalled out on the highway. The time to run was two days ago, which is what everyone on the east coast did. This sudden shift of Irma's track 200 miles to the west was, well, just shitty luck for us west coasters.

The Boss Lady and I have all of our valuables packed up and will be riding out the storm -- along with Bianca -- in my neighbor's two story house. He's a retired homebuilder and I can assure you, his house (14 feet above sea level) is built like the probverbial brick shithouse. On the flip side, I fully expect my home (8 feet above sea level) to be completely demolished.

Some days the bear eats you, right?

September 7, 2017

Sunday Looks Like It's Going To Be Very Exciting!

While I would be more than happy to have gone through this dance for absolutely nothing... both cars are gassed up, I have two 16x20' tarps, 40'x100' of 6 mil plastic sheeting, a generator with 40 gallons of gas, 7 cases of bottled water, 3 cases of sparking water (we're not barbarians), a 65 gallon water bladder in bathub, 2 lifestraws, enough canned/dry goods for 4 weeks, 10 MREs, 2 weeks of dehydrated emergency rations, 30lbs of dry dog food, a freezer full of ice, 3 cases of shitty light beer, 2 cases of red wine, 2 handles of vodka, 1 bottle of bourbon, 45 rolls of shit tickets, 1 med kit, and enough guns to pound those North Korean cocksuckers all the way back to the 39th parallel. Still, I sincerely hope this is all for naught.

But if my fears turn out to be well founded, consider this. A female friend of a friend asked us, "Can you guys help me put plywood up?" Being the gentlemanly motherfuckers that we are, we agree. Initial plan was to put it all up yesterday evening. But she calls it off, hoping to delay for one more day. "Hmmmm," I ask, "why didn't she do this earlier this weekend?" "SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DRILL HOLES INTO HER HOUSE OF SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO." Meaning, she doesn't have pre-cut plywood shutters, she has absolutely fucking NOTHING. There are no pre-cut pieces of wood waiting to be popped into place, she's never put shutters on this house at ALL. "Holy FUCK, does she even have the stuff she needs to do this?" "She has the hardware, I think." WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

To put this task into perspective, there isn't a single sheet of plywood available for sale anywhere in South Florida. Not. One. Single. Sheet. Same for Plylox hurricane clips to hold plywood over the windows. Same for masonry drill bits. And masonry screws. And saw blades -- and that's assuming she even has a saw and a drill. But even by some miracle if she did have these things, by waiting to the very last minute it means the slightest hiccup -- missing a few clips, a broken drill bit, a drill battery that won't hold a charge -- and the process comes to a grinding halt because it's impossible to get a replacement. In short, if the storm swings a little more east than they're currently predicting, she's fucked.

A Delta commercial flight just raced Hurricane Irma to Puerto Rico
yeah let me tell you what happened
from alex wellerstein (the creator of nukemap) comes missilemap
Aggressive BMW driver gets his comeuppance
the true face of sadness
how bucktoothed do you need to be in order to do this?
Hurricane Irma: Florida sheriff threatens to arrest fugitives at shelters
Motorcyclist's GoPro Camera Records His Plunge Off A 250-Foot Cliff
this cupping shit freaks me out
meanwhile, outside of houston
dat bike tho
excuse me sir this is a no pooping zone
Someone Dropped Their Phone From A Plane And It Survived To Record It All
drone vs clumsy girl with no situational awareness
just what you want to see in your rearview mirror
Rebecca Interrupts Her Reading
Katrina Moreno and Alba De Silva - Mortal Kombat
Alannah Beirne Nipple Slip on the Sidewalk
She sure looks good in the bandana
allison brie leaked
legs picdump #26

September 5, 2017

Shit Is About To Get Real, Yo.

When I think of a prepper, I think of some douchebag mall ninja dressed in XXXL tactical clothing popping radiation tablets and talking about fighting the government. So when someone asks if I'm a prepper, I always answer, "No, I'm but a prepper but I am prepared." At any given time I have two or three cases of bottled water on hand, a generator with gasoline, two or three weeks worth of dry and goods (for The Boss Lady and Bianca), batteries, flashlights, tarps, and of course ample means to defend mi casa (and my neighbor's casa). But you can only be so prepared when you're talking about doing this passively; I can't keep hurricane shutters up 24x7x365 and there's only so much food you can stockpile before it starts to go bad.

But now we here in SWFLA have entered what meteorologists call the Cone of Probabability. I of course, call it the Cone of Buggery, because anyone in said cone stands a substantial chance of getting buttfucked. As of this morning, we now begin what I like to think of as, active preparation. Outside plants and decorations get brought inside. Hurricane shutters go up. Candles get dug out and unwrapped. Flashlights get checked and batteries and bulbs replaced. Gas cans get dumped into the generator, freeing those cans up to be refilled. Photographing my house and its contents. Plastic bags get set aside and electronics get unplugged and ready to be wrapped up. Food gets sorted and prioritized. Magazines get loaded.

All signs point to Irma continuing as shown and then Saturday night/Sunday morning, when it's directly south of the western coast of Florida, take a dramatic 90 degree right turn and sending it north and directly into my fucking living room. So at this point, I don't think it's a matter of if we're going to get hit, but how hard. My hope is Irma drifts to a more sourthernly track, taking it over Cuba -- aka "American's speed bump" -- which saps its strength before it makes that swing north into Florida. But only time will tell.

Until then, preparataions will be made. And don't be surprised when I post a GoFunme to put my fucking house back together.

humanity in houston
Drivers in Los Angeles are nothing but show off assholes.
damn motor vehicle accident training, you scary
Srebrenica Massacre, Bosnia-Herzegovina 1995
meanwhile, a carjacking
I rescued 70 pets from flooded neighborhood near Houston yesterday
deploying snack radar in 3... 2... 1...
he doesn't want to see irma any more than i do.
Late 50's Convair proposal for "The Big Stick", a Supersonic Low Altitude Missile driven by a nuclear reactor-powered ramjet.
Superheroes Without Special Effects Sucks
as a dog owner, i can completely relate
Water Bombers load up next to cruise liner
Commemorating the most memorable products that have gone away
click anywhere
when you're bored at work
Marilou Morales
the beach spy 163
fit girls dump 44
Busty Susann To Make Your Day
Katie Keight Nip Slip on the Red Carpet!
Leanne Crow Sparkle Bedroom
sexy Random Photos 493

September 2, 2017

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here.

and you thought your day was going bad
Ram Power Wagon Floats Out to Sea During Commercial Shoot
When You Finally Find A Quiet Spot For Fishing
a proud parent of some great kids who...
This shotgun-wielding Texan has no time for looters
awesome tinder pickup lines
this will be a tough fix
he kept getting in the way while we were building a deck so...
Challenging rescue by Hope For Paws near the Los Angeles International Airport
Bait Dog Found Covered In Bites Gives Rescuers His First Smile


Ferrari 365 GTB/4 that has been hiding in Japan for 40 years, predicted to sell for $1.8million
oh just sharing the couch
here's a dog with a stack of pancakes on his head
2 Girls Shotgun a Beer fail
Woman high on compressed air causes auto accident
extreme calf cramps
Quick Thinking And Garden Blocks Saved This Guy's BMW X5 And E36 M3s From Harvey
that 1980s volvo sure is a pussy magnet
well this is awkward
Time Tested; Airman, aircraft serve 21 years together

your weekend boob dump: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - twelve - thirteen - fourteen -

best necklace battle and best see through battle
Kelsey My Big Passions
Tessa Fowler Released More Topless Diary Pics!
all around paris
Cute petite blonde is begging

September 1, 2017

I've Said If Before, And I'll Say it Again A Hundred Times. Fuck The French.

Yeah, do you remember two years ago, right after the terror attacks in Paris, when We Were All Charlie Hebdo? Because evidently they don't. But they're French. So you know, what did you expect from those bunch of pussies?

The Young Electric Sign Company is a privately owned manufacturer of electric signs, based in Salt Lake City, and founded by Thomas Young in 1920. The young sign painter had left England just a decade earlier to immigrate with his family to Ogden, Utah. In the beginning, his shop specialized in coffin plates, gold leaf window lettering, lighted signs and painted advertisements. As the science of lighting and sign-making advanced, so did Tom Young's signs. In 1933, YESCO opened a branch office in the Apache Hotel in Las Vegas, and erected their first neon sign in Las Vegas for the Boulder Club. Perhaps the world's most recognized electronic sign, Vegas Vic was designed by and built by YESCO and upon its installation in 1951, the 40'-tall electronic cowboy immediately became Las Vegas's unofficial greeter.

The flag of Norway is a red with an indigo blue Scandinavian cross fimbriated in white that extends to the edges of the flag; the vertical part of the cross is shifted to the hoist side in the style of the Dannebrog, the flag of Denmark. The current flag of Norway was designed in 1821 by Fredrik Meltzer, a member of the parliament. However, the king refused to sign the flag law, but approved the design for civilian use by royal order in council on 13 July 1821. The constitution of 1814 explicitly stated that the war flag was to be a union flag, hence the common flag was used by the armies and navies of both states until 1844.

In 1920 the Yellow Cab Manufacturing Company was formed to manufacture taxicabs. During the 1910s and 1920s the company was involved in considerable illegal activity relating to mobsters and in particular to the Chicago Outfit. Yellow Cab was involved in a bitter rivalry with Checker Taxi at the time which led to a number of shootings, deaths and firebombings. Yellow Cab was sold in 1996 to Patton Corrigan, who in turn sold controlling interest in 2005 to Michael Levine, a third-generation taxicab operator from New York City. The Levine/Corrigan group has also purchased the Checker Taxi Affiliation in Chicago, to reunite the Checker and Yellow Cab companies once again.

After looking at it closely, the T-Shirt says "Iron Candy" and has a dumbell with candy twists at the end. It was for a private trainer here in California, Iron Candy Fitness. Cheers! Mike

The girl showing us some extra skin is at Walgreens in Las Vegas across from the International Eatery. Fred

Added bonus: this one from April 19-2016 -- "findthesebigopeningwindows -- Thats milf Sabine Silke at the Le Meridien hotel in Stuttgart, Germany. Rick

Two observations. First, I was hoping to find an image of the Iron Candy shirt but the website is now tits up, so I tried the wayback machine and even found a link for Iron Candy Apparel, but no joy as all the images are dead. And as for Sabine, you can see the four panelled windows and the rounded break in the curbing.

The legal status of prostitution varies from country to country -- sometimes from region to region within a given country -- ranging from being permissible but unregulated, to an enforced or unenforced crime, or a regulated profession. It is sometimes referred to euphemistically as "the world's oldest profession" in the English-speaking world. Estimates place the annual revenue generated by prostitution worldwide to be over $100 billion. Can you find your way to the this green flexible pipe on the Avenue of Whores?

Here you can calculate how many camels your girlfriend or boyfriend is worth.
Utah nurse being dragged into police car after refusing to let officer take blood from unconscious victim
finally, a neighborhood that can spell!
meanwhile, in houston
things written on cakes
This Bear Really Wants Some Barbecue
Redneck Army saves National Guard.
i do what i want. or not.
how very interesting, indeed.
Harvey's 2-day rain in Houston is 3 times floodwater pumped from New Orleans after Katrina
i'm not one for cats, but even i'll admit this is pretty cool
Whale nearly crushes freedivers
Ship Beaching full speed into the Breaking Yard
Catcher Tickles Highly venemous eastern Brown Snake
frisbee dog fail
sexy Random Photos 491
Kendall Jenner Continues to Go Braless in See Through Tops
Whitney Westgate - A kiss from a rose
Lauren on Femjoy in Portugal
the most confused white girl in the country
Olla is a sexy swimmer

There Are A Lot Of MLB Players Who Hail From ...

Well That's A Load Off Of My Roof....

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

Still Trying To Get My Shit Together. Got Int...

It Was Like When Your Mom Told You To Just Wa...

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