E R N I E ' S   H O U S E   O F   W H O O P A S S

Back ground on me; I am an avid runner, and anyone who loves running knows the most important thing about distance running is proper shoes. If you don't have proper footwear you can really hurt yourself. I am currently living and working in Tokyo but fortunate enough I get to travel for business extensively through out Asia most parts of the year. Now here is my story;

During Aug of 2003 I went to Bangkok Thailand for what was supposed to be a one day trip, arrive Sunday night, go to office Monday and work until 10 pm and take red eye back to Tokyo, go to office Tuesday morning. Simple stuff, I have done it dozens of times. Because it is a quick trip, I did not bring any jogging shoes or cloths with me. On Monday afternoon, I met for the first time the president of the entire international division, maybe 3rd most powerful man in the company. He asked me to go to our manufacturing facility in Northern Thailand to do a bit of manufacturing auditing and it would only be a few days, as he had cleared it with my office in Tokyo I could not refuse. I went North that night, checked into my hotel and went for a walk to a local night market located across the street. Now, anyone who has every been to Asia knows there are 2 things you can get in any poor Asian country, anytime, anywhere, 30 dollar hookers and fake name brand clothing.

The first think I saw was a man who was selling only 5 pairs of Nike running shoes. I for a minute thought about purchasing a pair as I would be there almost a week but again, proper running shoes are a must. So, as I am walking away he reads my mind and says ' You don't understand, they are stolen property, not fake'. He explained that a lot of foreign tourists are getting good at spotting fakes and don't have qualms about buying hot items, so it is more profitable to deal in stolen merchandise. I thought it over and not really believing him, plunked down 30 dollars for (what would have been 125 dollar in Tokyo) pair of shoes. Took them back to the hotel room, and went for a 1 hour run. The first thing I realized was I got screwed, very good copies, but copies they were. But it was ok, I would just use them awhile in Thailand and throw them away before I went home. They worked out ok, no problems to report.

A day before I was to leave Thailand, the same boss asks me to go to Laos and Vietnam for about 10 days. He wanted me to take a look at 3 factories that were co-packaging an sister companies product. Just go, make sure the place is clean, no poison/health/giant bug issues to worry about and go home. So I grab my fake shoes and head to Laos for 3 days and then Vietnam for a week. Now, SE Asia is hot year round, but in summer months, it is really, really really fucking hot. I would get up at 5 and go for a jog, it would all ready be in the mid eighties and very humid. After a few days of running with the shoes, I developed a small pain in my left big toe. The shoes seamed a bit small and were cramping.

Plus, as it rained everyday I was in Laos, my feet were always wet. I did not see anything wrong so I ignored it, continued jogging Vietnam for about 7 days, then returned to Japan. Upon my return home, I noticed the base of my big toe nail was turning purple, like a big bruise. I did not pay much attention as it did not really hurt that much anymore. However, after a couple of days the bruise began growing with my nail and climbing towards the tip of my nail. After a week, my nail was 100% purple, and then it began to stink. It was not an average foot order, I can't really describe it. Just a damp, wet stench that would make even myself a bit sick. Just taking off my socks the entire apt would reek of my big toe, which by this time the purple was turning green and really, really looking ugly.

Not being the type to see a doctor, I knew it would soon pass. My wife demanded I take my shoes and socks off as I entered the house, immediately wash both my feet and socks, then put on a clean pair, the stench was just unbearable. Ok, this has been long and not so exciting, here is the conclusion. A few days later, I am at sports gym where my wife and I go to sometimes. I am sitting in the locker room after showering and looking at my big toe. It did not hurt anymore, but still looked ugly. I looked down and noticed there was a bit of the green/purple puss leaking from under the nail, and if I touched it, it made a bit of a squishing noise which lead to more puss/stench leakage which seamed even more intolerable. I grabbed a tissue and decided to clean the junk from underneath, but not having toe nail clippers I improvised and grabbed my drivers license. As it put it under the nail, my entire big toe nail just came peeling off my foot. It was like pulling a wet band aid off your skin, there was no resistan

As soon as the nail came off, an enormous amount of sticky blood and puss just began pouring from my toe. It was like an ejaculation or a baking powder/vinegar volcano we used to make as kids. The goo just kept coming and coming and then the odor hit. It was worse then anything else I had smelt up to that time. It was on me, the goo was sticking to my hands and foot. The odor engulfed the entire room. I ran to the shower and immediately began scrubbing the stench and puss of me, dried myself off and dressed and ran out of the locker room to meet my wife.

As soon as I left the room she was waiting at the lobby, we got into the car and she said ' I can smell your toe from hear, did you wash it?' I tell her the story, we get home, and she looks at my toe. We both notice a rather large hole in the top of the toe where my nail used to be and she mentions there is something in it, she pulls out some tweezers and removed 2 yellow worms which were over 2 cm in length, they had eaten a hole in my toe.

The gym received so many complaints about the odor that next time I went, they revoked my membership and refunded my money.

~Brian