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People should relax about Barack Obama being re-elected. Have you ever known a black man to keep a job for more than four years?

Q. What kind of file do you need to turn a half-inch hole into a two-inch hole?
A. A pedophile.

Q. What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?
A. Before the first period.

Q. What's the difference between a British man and his girlfriend?
A. His girlfriend has a higher sperm count.

I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.

Q. How do you know if a Chinese person robs your house?
A. Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later he's still trying to back out of your driveway.

Q. Why is it so hard for Mexican women to get pregnant?
A. Because as soon as the sperm enters the cell it tries to hang itself.

A black man, an Arab, and an Asian walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get the fuck out!"

Q. What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire?
A. Drowns

Q. Why do black people play basketball?
A. They can run, shoot, and steal

Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.

Q. Why does it take two gay men to rape a girl?
A. One holds her down while the other does her hair.

Q. What does FUBU really stand for?
A. Farmers Use'ta Beat Us.

Q. What do you get when cross an Italian with a gorilla?
A. A retarded gorilla.

Q. What do you get when you cross a black with an gorilla?
A. What do you mean, "cross"?

I beat off onto a blind girl yesterday. She never saw me coming.

Q. How do you keep a Native American out of your back yard?
A. Move the trash cans to the front.

Q. Why shouldn't women have driver's licenses?
A. There's no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

Q. What do black people get when they pick their nose?
A. Noogers.

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

Q. What does the human race and jelly beans have in common?
A. Nobody likes the Black ones.

Q. Why is the black power sign a clenched fist?
A. So they don't have to let go of the branch.

Q. Did you hear that there's a special form of cancer that black people get?
A. Watermelanoma.

Q. What's the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew?
A. Santa Claus goes down the chimney.

Q. What's the biggest cause of pedophilia in this country?
A. Sexy kids.

I can't see the big deal with calling a Pakistani a Paki. It's just the same as calling an Australian an Aussie, a Scotsman a Scot or a Frenchman a Cunt. [sickipedia]

Q. What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it?
A. The Holocaust.