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November 28, 2004

LBEH 2004 Kickoff.

Time to crack those piggy banks, because today is the day kids.

Today is the day we start our drive for donations to buy airfare for junior military personnel to fly home for the holidays -- LBEH 2004.

One thing I've noticed over the past few months is all the cars driving around with those magnetic yellow ribbons on the back. I find myself wondering if this person really does care about the well being of our men and women in uniform, or if they're just appeasing their own guilty conscience. I wonder if they pop this commercialized logo on the back of their family sedan and say to themselves, "Well I've done my part." Because if that's all we do -- a meaningless magnet that we picked up for $2.99 as an afterthought while buying a cup of coffee -- then we've really let down those who fight to protect us from evil.

We need to do more. We need to do more than to just sit on our fat asses and eat turkey, while the "United We Stand" sticker on your car window grows more and more faded each day. We need to do more than to set our vcr's to record a Discovery Channel documentary on our troops over in Iraq and Afghanistan. We need to do more and you know it just as much as I do.

To give everyone peace of mind both financially and ethically, this year LBEH will be a 501(c) non-profit charity, meaning not only will Uncle Sam be keeping a close eye on us, but your donation should be tax deductable as well.

As of this writing, we've got requests for five tickets, ALREADY.

So crack those piggy banks, rummage through those couch cushions, take back those beer bottles. Because I'm passing the hat. Last year we raised over $58,000 and flew home some 161 troops to spend the holidays with their familiies. Let's see if we can't do at least we well this year. Make me proud kids.

Okay. Let's Bring Em Home.

November 26, 2004

Happy Thanksgiving.

Well I hope everyone enjoys their Thanksgiving dinner.


Sorry if I'm sending this to the wrong address. I just wanted to send you a few pictures from Iraq. They're take offs of the picture done on Sgt. Erickson's (Risawn) blog. I thought it important that people know the Iraqis are glad we're here. Each of these kids have bullet holes in thier calfs from Republican Guards. I also wanted to thank you for your site and all you do for service members. If you want any other pictures, video or if you have any special requests, let me know. Keep up the good work. I was also wondering what would become of the 'Let's bring them home' project now that they've instituted EML (enviromental) leave? Anyway, awesome website!

2Lt Dave

we're not sorry 1 - we're not sorry 2

No, thank you Dave. Be safe, and here's some things to remind you of home during this holiday season...

November 23, 2004

Fight The Man. Fight The Power.

Before I go into this, let me first point out that yes, I appreciate the delicious irony.

I spent this morning with a Hearing Officer of the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles, appealing a speeding ticket I got two weeks ago. The cop, who was very professional, bagged me for speeding and hey guess what? Guilty. Nothing too serious, but I was speeding. I was bent out of shape because I got out of work late on a Friday night, and I was paying more attention to pissing and moaning than I was to my driving. A ticket of which I will fully admit, I am 100% guilty.

But, there was some conflicting info on the ticket; both "Civil Infraction" and "Warning - no action required" checkboxes were marked off and I wasn't sure how I was supposed to proceed. So I brought into the RMV really just to ask if there was any action required on my part. Is this a ticket and do I have to mail it in? Or is it a written warning?

Registry Lady suggested I mail the ticket in and request a civil hearing and fight it from a technical standpoint. As I've daid before, I'm not a huge fan of this but like she says, it beats getting cornholed by my insurance company for the next six years. Sooooooo, now I have to wait 8-12 weeks to get a hearing date. Soooooooo, hey we'll see what happens, right?

Fight the Power!

November 18 2004

Live Vicariously Through My Phone.

A new feature here at the Casa del'Ernie, will be my Phone Cam, as you will notice some pics are posted in the top right menu bar. I set up my snazzy new phone to be able to post directly to EHOWA, thus with me snapping pics throughout my day, you'll be able to follow me around. You know, in traffic, goofing off at work, at lunch, playing pool, going home, watching porn, eating Cheetos, drinking beer, passing out, etc. You'll see I'm a free spirit and refuse to be tied down. Right now it only shows the last five pictures, but I'll set up an archive. And perhaps I will let others post their phone cam pics too? Only time will tell.

You should also know that I will soon be engaged to be married. She just doesn't know me yet. Her name is Risawn, and she shoots people.


Here is the REAL deal why Marines have shot wounded in Falujah in my professional opinion:

1. Insurgents in Iraq have been known to play possum and after the bodies have been passed by after a brief check, the fuckers would pull a grenade and frag the unlucky/unsuspecting guys. Some people I've been told is to stick a hot muzzle in the eye socket to check in they're dead or alive to prevent this. If they don't move, leave them alone, they flinch and twitch like the whores they are like burning them with a cigarette, kill the fucker, because he's gonna frag your ass.

2. This guy shot the “wounded/unarmed” Iraqi was just wounded the other day, hense, he knew their devious tactics. These assholes have been flying white flags to signal surrender to set up ambushes, much as the M.O. of the Fayedeen fighters early in the war. Also, they have snipers fucking up their own people, not ours, when they are trying to get medical supplies, food, water, ect. If you ask me, this insurgent got what he deserved.

3. The news crew should have been debriefed before they were allowed to release the footage, as per the Public Affairs Office agreement they agree to prior to going on these missions. This would have let them know why the individual took the actions he did. In the end, fuck it, he may have just killed the bastard, but at least we knew he was an insurgent with the will to fight again or give his own life and take a few people down with him for his beliefs. Hassan was killed out of disgust, she wasn't a fighter and she was against the war. This guy was dedicated for his beliefs, he wasn't tortured, he just got what he had coming.

Just my thoughts. That guy may be a public relations nightmare and maybe the media is all democratic, but at the same time, he's there to do a mission and risk his life to save that of his brothers in arms. Even if they are Airmen! Take care brother and hopefully you didn't get a ticket for your awesome park job.


Oh, and Mel Gibson fucked me with his Passion of the Christ, AGAIN. Guess what I found on top of my tv two days ago -- that fucking DVD that I rented from Blockbuster like a month and a fucking half ago. I called them up and was given two choices, either pay $80 in late fees, or purchase the movie for the previewed price of $18. So guess what, I now own a copy of one of the shittiest movies ever made, second only to A Thin Red Line. Screw you Mel. Screw you very much.

pretty good

a neat crane accident somewhere in europe

November 16, 2004

Just Some Random Observations.

I am the Lord of the Internet. Don't believe me? Just google for "ernie" and see what you get. That's right, I'm number one. And as number one, I can park wherever I want.

Riddle. What is GFDASGDSARDAS LKJLKJLKJI? Give up? Here's the answer.

Queens can still be the victim of a good nutsacking.

Cats suck, dogs are cool.

Kids drive me to drink.

What kind of people regularly visit EHOWA? Here is your answer. Three. Times.

White men, now matter how enthusiastic, can't dance. Myself included.

Hi Ernie,

I'm A former GI (medic 70-74...yeah, I did some time in don't mean nothin') and I saw tonight's big news story about the GI who spotted a guy playing possum and then shot him. Now the news is saying that this GI shot a helpless guy who was alive and defenseless. Has anyone thought about the fact that the GI may have shot a dead guy? When I was a medic it was not uncommon for a dead person to move, make noises, or do other weird shit. This was a function of the body decomposing. Somebody (maybe you) needs to bring this to the public's attention otherwise the news is going to hang this kid out to dry. BTW ask your nurse friend in Iraq about dead bodies doing weird shit, she'll know. Now I'm not saying that I would have done anything different (I'd have shot the prick without speaking), but before the Provost Marshall gets a grip on this fighter's neck, somebody had better provide this warrior with a 'reasonable doubt' defense. It's a sad day when you have to

I don't have to John, you already said a mouthful, brother. To do any more would just be bad luck.

November 14, 2004

Sorority Girls Gone Wild.

Here's a collection of naughty videos and photos of hot sorority girls -- totally free! Just an email address gets you in. Showercams, photos, videos...FUN FUN! Check it out now, and tell em Big Ern sent ya.

so long o.d.b. - your lyrics touched us all

November 13, 2004

So Long Yassir, Don't Forget To Write.

So Yassir Arafat has finally decided to die, and I say, it's about fucking time. Besides the fact that this guy was as eerie to look at as Bob Hope was before he passed on, I think there's perhaps a spark of hope now in the middle east. As to whether Arafat will be remembered as a visionary or an asshole, only history will be able to answer that question and even then your opinion will most likely depend on which side of the Israeli security fence you're on.

cherished photos from arafat's childhood: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

Ah, they blow up so fast nowadays, don't they?

i love chicks. i love guns. i love chicks with guns the most

November 11, 2004

It's Veteran's Day.

Thank you to all those soldiers that have proudly worn the uniform of this great country. From Bunker Hill to Baghdad your courage has shined freedom's light onto places where only the darkness of tyranny once ruled. Through the years you have been asked to make many sacrifices. When your country asked for your help you were there. With valor and honor you went into harms way and some of you never came home.

Your sacrifices have not been in vain. Over two hundred years ago, you brought freedom to a fledgling country. Through your blood, sweat and tears America was born. You gave the citizens this country the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. However, you did more than bring freedom to the citizens of the original thirteen colonies. Your efforts planted the roots of democracy for the rest of the world to see. When other countries have been in peril you came to the rescue, and freedom took hold all over the world.

Many of us are too young to remember or too self absorbed to care, but our weaknesses have never been yours. You have always been there to answer the challenge. You have always been there to defiantly stand against any evil, any foe that would try to remove the freedoms which you secured.

sergeant first class paul smith - private first class chance phelps

get well soon sergeant scott thorne

November 10, 2004

It's Flu Season.

I think flu shots are a crock of shit. So before I give you my tried and true recipe for avoiding the flu, a lot of you wrote in last week to comment either on this awesome photo of Michael Moore, or on the fact that Mr Moore posted this picture on his website following the election. For those of you too who don't realize it, it's a mosiac of GWB made up of the photos of soldiers killed in Iraq. Many of you found this very tasteless on Moore's part, and I agree. And so, we retaliate.

1. Eat right! Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies.

2. Take your vitamins.

3. Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system. Remember to stretch out first. Walk for at least hour a day, go for a swim, take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.

4. Wash your hands often. If you can't wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.

5. Get lots of fresh air. Open windows whenever possible.

6. Stay warm. Get plenty of rest.

7. Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.

So what I always do is, I walk to the liquor store (exercise), I put lime in my Corona (fruit), celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies), drink on the bar patio (fresh air), get drunk, tell jokes, and laugh (eliminate stress) and then pass out (rest). The way I see it, if you keep your alcohol levels up the flu germs can't get you.

Me? Eight years flu free. You draw your own conclusions.

November 8, 2004

Oliver Stone Me No More.

Okay some of you people are just fucking killing me with your fairy tale antics.

To be more specific, I mean any and all of you blundering idiots who think that the 9/11 attacks were some big elaborate plot by the American government to (choose any or all): wage war on the Islamic world, boost support for the Bush agenda, a preface to invade Iraq, a way to spike oil prices.

It's just a stupid fucking idea. Period. And it doesn't appear to be isolated to morons here, but has infected others in Spain as well:

From: Jingles ""
Subject: A remotely controlled Boeing!

Look what I found!

And this is the video:

Watching the video, I see the Boeing is remotely controlled from a nearby plane. And since the CIA has a more advanced technology than any other company, sure they could do that from a greater distance.

I'm telling this to you, because, you know what? I never believed that a bunch of Afghan goatees could be so intelligent to surpass the US security and drive two Boeings into the Twin Towers, less do it into the Pentagon.

By the way, congratulations for another four years of fascism! The daft bastard you have as president has been ruining your country while Europe has grown economically stronger. It's just a matter of time to see how Europe takes the place we deserve in History.

Bye, Ernie! Go fuck yourself, you little bitch.

Now normally I'd be the first to blame our public schools, but alas this idiot is from another continent, so I can't. But at least we know that children from other countries eat lead paint chips too.

Are people really this fucking stupid? Do people really, honestly, truly believe that 9/11 was anything other than what it was: an attack by evil men under the direction of Osama? I mean c'mon.

It'd be a waste of my time to point out this tool simple misconceptions: The simple existance of remote controlled planes does not a conspiracy make. Not to mention the attackers were mostly from Suadi Arabia, not Afghanistan. But these simple oversights are not my point.

Look at it like this. This country loves a good conspiracy. The shooter on the grassy knoll. The moon landing was a hoax. Aliens landed at Roswell. Yes, we love a good conspiracy theory. And if Bill Cllinton -- one of the smoothest operators in the history of our presidents next to Ron Reagan -- couldn't get a blowjob from a fat chick without the whole nation finding out about it, then what the fuck makes you think GWB could pull off the largest attack on our country's soil since Pearl Harbor and get away with it? I mean let's face it - GWB's not exactly the best public speaker. So if Clinton wasn't suave enough to keep his humdinger out of the prying eyes of the public, there's no fucking way any 9/11 conspiracies could be kept under wraps. It's simply impossible.

So there you have it folks - 9/11 was not a plot by our guys. The existance of Monica Lewinsky proves it.

my new wallpaper - tara reid's nip slip

yeah baby lay the a-10 smackdown on em

November 6, 2004

Mario Andretti I'm Not.

So this Friday, instead of everyone at work taking cases from customers all day, we piled into our cars and spent a teambuilding day at F1 Racing in Boston. Now don't get too excited, it wasn't really F1 car racing, but some pretty suped'up cool go-carts none the less. They were pretty sweet. And when I say suped'up I mean we each had to put on protective suits, a neck brace, and a helmet with a visor. So these things are definitely not your father's Oldsmobile. They get up to 35mph which doesn't seem that fast until you're doing it with your ass 6" off the track with nothing between you and the wall but a few cheap plastic bumpers.

Anyone who says there's such a thing as a "friendly competition" is full of shit because there isn't. You're either competing to win or your not, and if you are then it ain't friendly. Like I always say - if you can't win, cheat; if you can't cheat, start a fight.

And so while going fist to cuffs on the course wasn't an option, I was perhaps a slightly aggressive driver, occasionally encouraging my fellow driver to lose control with anice tap to the rear end when a ref wasn't looking. But turnabout was fair play. In fact, I came around the corner one time so hard, I slid into the wall sideways at full speed. My ribs still hurt from impacting the side of the seat. Alas, The best I could manage was one second place finish. I am a loser.

lindsay lohan's little pink nipple slip

November 4, 2004

Eat This Michael Moore You Fat Fuck.

You know, there were certain things that I liked about each candidate. It was almost as if you could throw them into a blender and strain out all the good stuff, you'd have a super president. I think Bush keeps me safe. I think Kerry would have given me more job security. I think Bush lets me keep more of what money make. I think Kerry would have cured my illnesses with stem cell research. So it's a wash, really. I did take that online "pick your candidate" quiz and ended up being 59% in agreement with one particular candidate. And I was a little disappointed actually, since I would have liked a much higher number so I could feel more confident in to really get behind them. But alas, this was not to be and so I was only for one guy a smidgen more than the other.

One thing that I do take delicious delight in, is Michael Moore falling on his big fat fucking face. You and your shitty movie are nothing more than the latest version of a betamax vcr; discarded and forgotten. In fact, the more I think about it, the wider my smile gets. He deserved a good ass fucking. And all those arrogant fucks who signed on for Rock Against Bush -- not because I agree or disagree with your politics -- but because you were so pompous as to think you could to use your fame and fortune to sway the minds of others. What makes your opinion so much more fucking important that mine? Well we learned the answer today - nothing. You've all been exposed as the bunch of mindless fucking losers that you are.

I will tip my hat and compliment John Kerry for not being a little bitch about the whole thing. It was a tight race and he was a good challenger. But in the end he realized he wasn't going to make it, so instead of contesting every state's vote count like some other fucking crybaby we know, he bowed out gracefully. Kudos to him for that; I think it sets up him nicely in 2008 should he decide to go double or nothing.

Hopefully this will put to bed all the conspiracy theorists -- Bin Laden was not caught just prior to the election -- and we as a nation (A Red Sox Nation!) just quick bitching and unite behind our president. He won the popular vote, and the electorial vote. So for the next four years? Viva le'Bush!

mariah carey topless at the beach - we are a red sox nation!

November 2, 2004

So Today Is The Day.

So today's the day for us to put the last four years of, "You stole my election," to bed once and for all so these assholes will stop bitching. I'll be honest I don't feel strongly about one candidate or the other; I think they've both made too much fuss about stuff that doesn't matter. They both tried to hype up their military records from thirty years ago, when in reality the real question was who was more of a pussy than the other guy. I wanna know what they're gonna do for me tomorrow, not yesterday. I want to know we're not going to end up sideways on our ass.

But as always, you do have a third choice...

Party Affiliation Republican Democrat Independent
Right To Choose Opposes Favors Favors
Religion In Government Favors Opposes Opposes
Gun Control Opposes Favors Opposes
The Patriot Act Favors Opposes Favors
Embargo on Cuba Favors Favors Opposes
NAFTA Favors Favors Nuke Canada
Tax Cuts Favors Opposes Supports 15% Flat Tax
Withdrawal of Troops in Iraq Opposes Favors Nuke Iraq
Sanctions Against Iran Favors Favors Nuke Iran
Sanctions Against North Korea Favors Favors Nuke North Korea
Free Beer Opposes Opposes Favors
Government Subsidized Breast Augmetations Opposes Opposes Favors

So there you have it folks. The facts, and nothing but the facts so you can make an informed decision this year. Especially you college kids - you always bitch but you never fucking do anything. So Vote your conscience.

I just hope whoever does win, does so with a significant margin. Because I can't stand four more years of conspiracy bullshit. Conspiracies make me hungry. Mmmmm, I want a motherfucking sandwich.

how to dump your girlfriend - richard simmons on whose line is it

Insert Your Favorite Weekend Joke Here....

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