E R N I E ' S H O U S E O F W H O O P A S S
Terms of Service
1. ACCEPTANCE OF TERMS - Welcome to Ernie’s House of Whoop Ass™ (“EHOWA™”). EHOWA provides its titillating service to you, subject to the following Terms of Service ("TOS"), which may be updated by us from time to time, without notice to you, if my pain in the ass attorney tells me to do so. You can review the most current version of the TOS at any time at: http://www.ehowa.com/disclaimer.shtml. By continued access of this site, you agree to the TOS. In addition, EHOWA also may offer other services from time to time, which are governed by different Terms of Services. These TOS do not apply to EHOWA.
2. DESCRIPTION OF SERVICE - EHOWA currently provides users with access to a kickass collection of resources, including, various software, video, audio, and graphics its network (the "Service"). You also understand and agree that the Service may include advertisements and that these advertisements are necessary for EHOWA to provide the Service. Unless explicitly stated otherwise, any new features that augment or enhance the current Service, including the release of new EHOWA properties, shall be subject to the TOS. You understand and agree that the Service is provided "AS-IS" and that EHOWA assumes no responsibility for the timeliness, deletion, mis-delivery or failure to store any user communications or personalization settings. You are responsible for obtaining access to the Service and that access may involve third party fees (such as Internet service provider or airtime charges). You are responsible for those fees, including those fees associated with the display or delivery of advertisements. In addition, you must provide and are responsible for all equipment necessary to access the Service.
3. PARENTAL CONTROL - Please be aware that EHOWA has created Service that contains substantially adult or mature content. You must be at least 18 years of age to access and view EHOWA. This site has been voluntarily submitted for blocking by Net Nanny, Surf Watch, CyberSitter, CyberPatrol, and SafeSurf. All of these companies provide FREE evaluation copies of their software. We have registered with RSAC. We have also placed special code in our HTML files to trigger parental warnings on AOL's browser. Please make as much effort as we have to protect your family -- use these resources to keep your children out of inappropriate web sites and protect our freedom of speech. EHOWA strongly recommends the use of parental control as there are too many snot-nosed kids are looking at porn on the Internet already. If you are a parent, you are encouraged to please check out the following services:
4. LINKS - The Service may provide, or third parties may provide, links to other World Wide Web sites or resources. Because EHOWA has no control over such sites and resources, you acknowledge and agree that EHOWA is not responsible for the availability of such external sites or resources, and does not endorse and is not responsible or liable for any Content, advertising, products, or other materials on or available from such sites or resources. You further acknowledge and agree that EHOWA shall not be responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any damage or loss caused or alleged to be caused by or in connection with use of or reliance on any such Content, goods or services available on or through any such site or resource. Additionally you agree that you will not provide links to any of the Service’s content without prior written permission, with the exception of the Home Page
5. EHOWA'S PROPRIETARY RIGHTS - You acknowledge and agree that the Service and any necessary software used in connection with the Service ("Software") contain proprietary and confidential information that is protected by applicable intellectual property and other laws. You further acknowledge and agree that Content contained in sponsor advertisements or information presented to you through the Service or advertisers is protected by copyrights, trademarks, service marks, patents or other proprietary rights and laws. Except as expressly authorized by EHOWA or advertisers, you agree not to modify, rent, lease, loan, sell, distribute, publish or create derivative works based on the Service or the Software, in whole or in part. EHOWA grants you a personal, non-transferable and non-exclusive right and license to use the object code of its Software on a single computer; provided that you do not (and do not allow any third party to) copy, modify, create a derivative work of, reverse engineer, reverse assemble or otherwise attempt to discover any source code, sell, publish, assign, sublicense, grant a security interest in or otherwise transfer any right in the Software. You agree not to modify the Software in any manner or form, or to use modified versions of the Software, including (without limitation) for the purpose of obtaining unauthorized access to the Service. You agree not to access the Service, or induce or direct others to access the Service, by any means other than through the interface that is provided by EHOWA for use in accessing the Service. This includes, without limitation, the practice of “deep linking.” All communications with EHOWA and/or it's staff become the property of EHOWA and can be published/posted/redistributed as such at any time, with the original author being credited for his/her work.
6. LIMITATION OF LIABILITY - You expressly understand and agree that ehowa shall not be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential or exemplary damages, including but not limited to, damages for loss of profits, goodwill, use, data or other intangible losses (even if ehowa has been advised of the possibility of such damages), resulting from: (I) the use or the inability to use the service; (ii) the cost of procurement of substitute goods and services resulting from any goods, data, information or services purchased or obtained or messages received or transactions entered into through or from the service; (iii) unauthorized access to or alteration of your transmissions or data; (iv) statements or conduct of any third party on the service; or (v) any other matter relating to the service.
7. EXCLUSIONS AND LIMITATIONS - Some jurisdictions do not allow the exclusion of certain warranties or the limitation or exclusion of liability for incidental or consequential damages. Accordingly, some of the above limitations of sections 6 may not apply to you.
8. NOTICE - Notices to you may be made via either email or regular mail. The Service may also provide notices of changes to the TOS or other matters by displaying notices or links to notices to you generally on the Service.
9. TRADEMARK INFORMATION - Ernie’s House of WhoopAss, EHOWA, the threesome logo, the stylized representation of Ernie’s House of Whoop Ass trademarks and service marks, and other EHOWA logos and product and service names are trademarks of EHOWA. (the "EHOWA Marks"). Without EHOWA's prior written permission, you agree not to display or use in any manner, the EHOWA Marks.
10. COPYRIGHTS and COPYRIGHT AGENTS - EHOWA respects the intellectual property of others, and we ask our users to do the same. If you believe that your work has been copied in a way that constitutes copyright infringement, or your intellectual property rights have been otherwise violated, please provide EHOWA's Copyright Agent the following information:
1. an electronic or physical signature of the person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of the copyright or other intellectual property interest;
EHOWA's Agent for Notice of claims of copyright or other intellectual property infringement can be reached as follows: email@example.com.
11. GENERAL INFORMATION - The TOS constitute the entire agreement between you and EHOWA and govern your use of the Service, superceding any prior agreements between you and EHOWA. You also may be subject to additional terms and conditions that may apply when you use affiliate services, third-party content or third-party software. The TOS and the relationship between you and EHOWA shall be governed by the laws of the State of Georgia without regard to its conflict of law provisions. You and EHOWA agree to submit to the personal and exclusive jurisdiction of the courts located within the county of Atlanta, Georgia. The failure of EHOWA to exercise or enforce any right or provision of the TOS shall not constitute a waiver of such right or provision. If any provision of the TOS is found by a court of competent jurisdiction to be invalid, the parties nevertheless agree that the court should endeavor to give effect to the parties' intentions as reflected in the provision, and the other provisions of the TOS remain in full force and effect.
12. VIOLATIONS - Please report any violations of the TOS to our webmaster.
The section titles in the TOS are for convenience only and have no legal or contractual effect.
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